strawberrybananasblog

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Maybe I'll make a new acc since I can't remember the pw to this one neither the email pw

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As a trans man, seeing the state of modern femininity always makes me feel like I, someone who has almost killed myself multiple times from my dysphoria, have less dysphoria than many cis women. Like, cis women will literally pay hundreds or thousands of dollars to have someone shave their own body hair for them. Plenty of cis women out there spend near-infinite amounts of time, money, and energy trying to "fix" natural features about themselves. Some will even get expensive surgery. And if I wanted to have a surgery, that would take me years to get approved. And would require me to lie about my sexuality to even be considered.

I'm someone who famously thinks gender is a stupid performance, and it's one that I do spend quite a lot of effort on—just ask my bank account, or the ribs that I've damaged from wearing my binder for too long. But many of the cis women who do this do not do it as a fun performance, they do it because it has been drilled into their heads from the day they were born that their value is based on appealing to standards of heterosexuality, which are dominated by straight cis men. Yet even I do not spend hundreds of dollars a month on masculinizing procedures, even though whatever procedure I would do would probably make dysphoria better.

So why do some cis women go lengths to meet gendered standards that even many severely dysphoric trans people do not?

Just some food for thought.

(This post is not about trans women, though they can be subjected to patriarchal, heterosexual female beauty standards. The point of this post is to make people think about how cis women, generally without gender dysphoria, hold themselves to beauty standards as if they do have it.)

(On a similar note, TERFs and their ilk, this is not a post for you. If you interact with this post and I see that you hold radical feminist beliefs or exclude trans women from your feminism, you are being blocked and reported.)

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people are absolutely EVIL about the boundaries of “picky eaters”. no, they do not have to try it. yes, they can know they don’t like it without having eaten it before. no, they probably have not suddenly grown a taste for the food they’ve said they hate. no, they probably are not going to like it in the Special Way This One Place Cooks It. yes, you are being a bad friend if you try to “trick” them into eating it anyway

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who would win?

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People are really out here saying that transandrophobia isn't real and then say shit like "i can't take lesbian trans men seriously" which is it?You can't take lesbians seriously? or you can't take trans men who don't fit into your idea of men seriously. Both of which are misogynistic

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original print from depop

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genuinely a lot of you need to sit the fuck down and think about whether you actually support transfeminine people or you're just chasers. cause a lot of this site's support seems to be "uwu fuck me big strong dommy mommy" "I want a sexy trans goth gf so bad" etc etc and it's so gross. like i dont think attraction the inherent problem here or anything but when every single post asking "do you actually support trans women/transfeminine ppl?" has some chucklefuck in the notes going "haha yeah, I support her ON TOP OF ME!" it gets really obvious that you do not actually know how to support them without sexualizing them. and that's. really incredibly not okay.

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feel like y'all would like this article about how the devaluing of platonic relationships has a lot to do with Western culture:

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Queer history fact: Billy Lee Tipton(1914-1989), a jazz musician who managed to marry five times without anyone finding out that he did not have the genitals a cisgender man is expected to have, had a son who said of his father:

“I think he probably never told us because he was afraid we might have rejected him. I could have accepted it. He did a helluva good job with us. That’s what mattered. He was my dad.”

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what i think many non-aspec queer people don’t understand is that your understanding of aromanticism/asexuality and aspec experiences is as lacking as a straight person’s understanding of gayness, or a cis person’s understanding of transness. we are actually not some exception where everyone else knows better than us, and it's so paternalistic to treat us that way. your opinions on things that affect us are not fully informed, especially if you’ve done very little to learn from us. just listen to us.

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maybe this is pessimistic but it really is so frustrating feeling like cis women are never* actually invested in trans-inclusive reproductive activism. like even well meaning cis women will throw in a "people who menstruate" to their post or organization & then do literally nothing else related to trans people. when it comes to reproductive care, especially when it comes to vulnerable groups, they'll immediately default to female language & even more they never consider that trans people have unique struggles that need to be specifically addressed. & a lot of times they DO mean well and aren't trying to be exclusionary but it's still like. y'all keep showing you still aren't ready to put aside your cis-ego and make trans people your full equals in reproductive activism. even if you SAY you are trans affirming, how should trans people really trust you if you are constantly forgetting us? how can we be sure we won't be misgendered or (esp if we are visibly trans/passing as cis men, esp if we are a person of color) seen as invasive and disruptive of "women's spaces"? how can we be sure we won't be turned away because you think we're transfems who don't need care or because you "just don't know how to treat trans people"?

*i am making a massive generalization here obv, this is more vent than Facts and Logic here

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"we need weirder queers" you guys couldnt even handle asexual people in 2016 (and probably still cant handle them)

#i cant take the label nmlnm seriously anymore it just reeks of...whatever this is

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People are really out here saying that transandrophobia isn't real and then say shit like "i can't take lesbian trans men seriously" which is it?You can't take lesbians seriously? or you can't take trans men who don't fit into your idea of men seriously. Both of which are misogynistic

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me when i open tumblr and see pictures of cute t girls

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we’ve circled back around to men cannot experience love pack it up folks it’s over

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They always say “read Whipping Girl” but never warn you how often the book is hostile towards or just straight up wrong about transmasculine & non-binary people whenever they’re brought up. Like I’m starting to see why so many people who say that are transandrophobic tbh

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its so weird to me when people talk as if butch lesbians "benefit" from masculinity in some way. i kinda feel like nothing in real life indicates this ever but ok .