strwbrrysteam

[strwbrrysteam]

┊♡ pink themed th1nspo . ｡˚

[strwbrrysteam]

Thinspo dump !!

[strwbrrysteam]

If they can do it you can to 💕

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[strwbrrysteam]

not mine

[strwbrrysteam]

Sunday, April 30, 2023.

12:20am

Lol it’s been a while

I’m fasting rn my €w is 224lbs which is embarrassing. I was at work today and my friend was asking what pizza toppings are good and said “I feel like you know” it triggered me so bad I was alr fasting but that made it sm easier lmao. I’ll give a life update later! Bye for now!

[strwbrrysteam]

My lowest w3!gh+ was 213 and my first goal is 200lbs

[strwbrrysteam]

August 31st, 2022

Okay okay so yeah ik ik I’m back nothings changed I gained 10 fucking pounds I want to d word i got suspended from twitter again i fucking miss my sister and racheal my ¢w is 221 about?? I started f@$ting yesterday and I was at 225 so it’s prob water weight but I’m going for 10 days my longing fa$t was a week but it was a liquid f@$t so I’m doing a water one rn. I just did a 10 minute workout in trying to pace myself i don’t have any real interesting life updates my life has been stagnant THATS why Im trying so hard to lose Racheal and my sister are moving on with life and I’m just stagnant just stuck exactly where they left me and maybe if I lose weight people will like me more and I’ll be able to make friends be in a relationship be fucking different appearance wise at the very least so they don’t know that I’m not fucking moving forward and idk how to. Even if I look miserable they’ll know I’ve changed at least and maybe they’ll feel bad for me or miss me or care about me or fucking SOMETHING I just want them to think about me and feel at least a fraction of how shitty I feel about the whole situation. It’s like I’m the only one that ever cares and I for ONCE want to be the one that seems unbothered and better than ever cause it fucking sucks always being the one that cares more and runs back it’s fucking humiliating

[strwbrrysteam]

June 22, 2022

Today me and my niece went biking and sat at the fountain for a bit THATS about all I did today but yes on to the Rachel sitch

So basically me and Rachel started talking again because Hannah sent a TikTok to our group chat that we hadn’t used in a really long time and was just like it was like something stupid like it was like some people scarf from town rolls from Logans and she was like this really for real used to be us and I don’t know it just went down in history or whatever that’s just when we start talking again so boom then I will say about a month and a half to two months we’re talking we’re besties again we go everywhere together again we literally see and talk to each other every single day other time I was like obsessed with getting piercings so every Friday basically every Friday I will go and get a new piercing a.m. so they had been seven Fridays in row where I wanted to get a piercing but Rachel would always be “asleep“ or she just wouldn’t see my message “wouldn’t see my message“ and he just pissed me off so bad so in this particular day I had a doctors appointment because I had this really nasty lump under my arm on my armpit and it hurt really bad and I had to get it drained because it was like a cyst or something cyst sorry I’m using voice to text cause I don’t feel like typing all this so boom I was are you scared so ago in a text Rachel she text back and then not even like 3 to 7 minutes later I text her again and she just stops responding she stops responding until like 5 o’clock in the place usually the dude at the piercer does not take any more people past five so I was mad rightfully so all right sounds like OK whatever Aaron my day was already on terrible I was like OK I can just go and get it in my self somewhere different so I went somewhere different by myself and I sat there waiting for like two hours they completely ignored me for most of the time and when they did they asked me what I wanted they didn’t have me sign any papers and then they let somebody that was getting a tattoo go in front of me so I just left got my car and started crying so and then a few more minor inconveniences happened that was just really grinding my gears you can say and then on top of all that my car broke and the brakes fell out of my car and it was really dangerous but thankfully I was safe safe and I called Rachel she declined it and she was like what do you need them out I’m out so I was like never mind never mind M she was out with Hannah which you already know so yeah they just made me even more mad and actually I ended up having a mental breakdown about this because I was like well why was driving that night but like a different night too I was like a nobody cares about my feelings nobody cares about whether or not I’m mad so I should just get over it I should just turn off my madness turn off my feelings because obviously nobody cares about them anyways and I almost into a car accident because I was crying so hard while I was driving multiple times but yeah so I ended up being stranded for like I want to say five or six hours until mama woke up and saw my text messages where I was like please wake up I’m stranded and yeah so after that I was like whatever but before that had happened before my car broke down and forgot like this was like a week in between when Rachel called her self mad at me whatever and the or maybe it wasn’t I’m not sure but home after she had texted me like hours after the time where he gets a patient was over at this part in the same day I’m not sure I don’t really remember but yes it was the same day she text me back and she just said… Like literally spelled out dotand it was made me so mad so I just ignored her for like I want to say three for five hours because what am I supposed to say to that U already made me wait tillI can’t I can’t go to the piercer anymore the doctors appointment is over what am I supposed to say and obviously you don’t care because all you have to say is… So two days after the… Incident I was like you know what I’m over reacting I’ll send a TikTok till like clear the air like clear the smoke or whatever and she left me on open so I was just like what reason do you have to be mad

At me so a week later I didn’t even plan on going to her house but my lip piercing ball fell out so I was like I don’t care about whatever she call herself mad about I’m not letting this person close as I work so hard to keep it open so I called her and I’m just like I’m over there to get my lip drawing and I go over there so I confront her I’m over there I’m like what’s wrong with you like why are you mad at me basically but I was like doing it in like a goofy way you know what you like why are you so mad at me whatever Wawa wow I forgot you can’t hear my tone because this is just voice to text is not actually a West message but yeah I was doing it in like a funny way because I was like I don’t like serious conversations and just the whole time she was like well it’s not my fault that you were having a bad day like and she’s did admit that she probably went to sleep even though she knew that she made me late to my appointment seven times so I was like yeah OK whatever and I’m pretty sure like a week after that happened I blocked her on everything I I could not take the idea of somebody not care about my feelings and I cared so much about there’s any more like this I can’t do that not anymore so yeah that’s the tea man GTG

[strwbrrysteam]

June 21, 2022

ALSO I will tell the story about Rachel tomorrow FR FR ISTG here’s my itinerary for tmrw

Wake up

Do a load of laundry

Clean fish tank

Do another load of laundry

20-30 min workout

RACHEL TIME

Free time

Take sleep meds the second I get overwhelmingly hungry

I’ve been so terrible at restricting recently istg I guess I’m gonna have to train myself again BUT THATS THE TO DO LIST

[strwbrrysteam]

June 21, 2022

Girl I didn’t do any of that stuff 😭 me and mama got into an argument that day I’m pretty sure I’m so mad I didn’t get an audio recording of it she was gaslighting me the whole time and mad at me calling me all types of disrespectful and selfish for forgetting to put 3 baskets back in the closet when we were preparing for a possible TORNADO ?!?!? 😭 but nothing interesting has happened fr BUT I did take White Boy to the vet for his vaccinations and a shot bc he’s been sneezing but he’s STILL sneezing 🙄 extra $50 for nothing ✋🏾 but at least I can be sure it’s not gonna turn into an upper respiratory infection. OKAY OKAY FR this time I’m going back to February mindset. Only eating one day a week. I’m gonna exercise when I wake up in the morning for 20-30 minutes. THE YEAR IS HALFWAY OVER and I’ve been dicking around gaining and losing the same 10 lbs after losing 30lbs I HAVE to get to 180lbs by the end of the year. Hopefully 160 or 150 if I really really work for it I have 6 months to make it happen !

[strwbrrysteam]

June 16th, 2022

Hey shawty. I’m back. 😎 nothing interesting has really happened this week besides mama getting covid. She’s being so annoying about it too like she won’t stay in the house and it’s been not even a week and she’s back to no mask. She’s even getting mad at me for refusing to go near her because I don’t wanna get covid for the 3rd time 💀. But yeah. I’ve been working out and by been working out I mean I started this week and have only worked out 3 days for 20 minutes each day lmfao. I’m probably not gonna workout tmrw tho because I’m liquid fasting, no dairy, 500 cal limit. Can you really call that fasting? Idk lmao. But I wanna go for a week but I might just start eating every 3 days again because I’m determined to get to my gw by the end of this month/the middle of next month. I’m really trying to think of something interesting that’s happened hm. I’m gonna schedule vet appointments for both the boys tomorrow and I MIGHT heavy on the MIGHT go jog/walk tomorrow idk my legs are so weak today idk. But yeah tomorrow I’ll tell the story of why me and Rachel aren’t ever gonna talk again fr this time lmao okay I’m gonna go now bye 👹

[strwbrrysteam]

June 12, 2022

BITCH. I’m back new year. New me. New life 😎. I’m 18 😮‍💨 I’m just gonna give general life updates cause 😭😭😭 MOST IMPORTANT I still have the cat! I know I said me and Rachel weren’t talking ever again but like we did start talking again because Hannah sent a tiktok to our gc and we just started talking again y’know 😪 BUT. About, I wanna say 3 months later we stopped talking again. FOR GOOD THIS TIME!! I mean it 🙄 before when I said it I would get emotional thinking about a future without her, stalk her socials DAILY, have full blown mental breakdowns about it but this time im ZUNE ✋🏾!! She’s a fucking bitch and I can finally see that thank GOD sheesh it took me long enough 😒 SPEAKING OF BITCHES THO 🙄 I’m never talking to Hannah again either ik you’re like “you’re sister 🤨🤨 ??” YES 🙄 do you know what this bitch did 🙄 so basically she had a lil bf whatever she wanna calm that bum. She was 19 he was like 24/25 WITH F-F-FOUR… CHILDREN 😫 then one day me and Rachel were like 🤨🤨 have you ever looked him up ?? And she was like no. So we do a lil yk 🕵🏾‍♀️🕵🏽‍♀️ detective work 🙄 boom turns out this nigga got a second degree domestic assault charge which if you don’t feel like looking that shit up it’s basically choking somebody out or threatening them with a deadly weapon 👀 we do a lil more digging 🤨 one of bms had a restraining order filed on him the day after he got his domestic abuse charges now I’m no rocket scientist but 🤔🤔🤔 AND THATS the bm Hannah said that HE said he didn’t like 🤨🤨 like 😭 so upon finding that information in the span of like 30 minutes she was like wait he’s at my apt. (Oh yeah Hannah moved out) waiting for me to let him in so we can hang out 😭😭 me being the quick thinker I am 😏 I was like just say I’m sick and you need to take me to the dr 💡 and we all like bet then we can figure this out 😭 the his ass 🙄 he was being mad extra was all like “we don’t even gotta do this no more I don’t gotta come over here no more blah blah blahhhh whoopty woo” basically doing the most acting like she broke up w him 😭 so we like okay bye tf 🤷🏾‍♀️😭 and we in Walmart gonna get snacks cause we was gonna go to Hannah’s apt. to chill for a bit then he start getting buck asf 😭 talkin bout he gonna kick her door in if she don’t literally teleport there to unlock the door so he can get his shit so we like 👀👀👀 PAUSE MR! Def skipped some steps it was so outta the blue everything he was doing was 😭😭😭 so then we like you’re not getting in anywhere w that attitude 🤨 but we was fr scared 😭 we started buying sleeping bags so me and Rachel could sleep over so idk if he broke in it was 3 against 1 ?? 😭 but Hannah tells him she’ll pick up his shit and go to a parking lot and I’m like “let’s get a keep the peace order lolz 😝” and both of them basically cuss me out 😭😭😭 i fr almost cried 🫠🫠🫠 like girl if he at the apt waiting for our asses then what?? 😭 but we go in literally only stuff he had was slides watered down Irish Spring body wash and like half a drop of Old Spice or Ace which ever is in the red bottle body wash. He swore up and down his work shirt was there and she was “Playing with his money”… -works at Taco Bell.. 😭 I’m being so fucking real too 😭 so we get his shit minus the shirt cause it’s literally NOT there 😭 and we leave right boom. So again I’m like “keep the peace order ?? 😝🤷🏾‍♀️” cussed out again so I’m like okay lemme just stfu even tho he blowing up Hannah’s phone and steady threatening her but I’m like that’s yo ass whoopin champ who am I to get in the way of it 👋🏾👋🏾😭. So boom we on the interstate he blowing her phone up still she’s not answering and everything is chill. No. It was not. 😭 This bitch start sniffling and I’m like “are you crying ?? 🤨” mind you she been fine this whole time so it was random as hell 😭 and then good lord this bitch start hyperventilating n having a panic attack behind the wheel, at night, on the interstate. 😭😭 EYYYYE had to take the wheel literally and steer us to the grass so we could pull over 😭

Now during this whole ordeal he steady calling steady calling so I answer and I’m like “nigga stop fucking calling we on our fucking way damn” I’m stressed as shit we just almost died and this nigga got the nerve to CALL ?!? 😭 I hung up before he have a chance to say shit then he texting and like “my older sister heard all that and now she wanna beat yo lil sisters ass 🙎🏾‍♂️” O-O-OOooooOoOOOLDERRRR?!?!?! REMEMBER THAT SMALL DETAIL FROM EARLIER?? THE ONE WHERE I SAID HES 24/25 SOO HOW OLD DOES THAT MAKE THIS ANCIENT ARTIFACT ?? 😭 ATP I’m scared okay I ain’t never fought nobody 😭 but my stupid ass like “okay and idc 🙄” but my knees secretly knockin and he just steady threatening me w that war machine 😭😭 so now I’m REALLY like “I mean for YOUR safety we should get a keep the peace order yk 🙄” IM NOT TRYNA GET MY ASS BEAT BY THAT ROUGHEN 😭😭😭 MIND YOU. HIM AND HIS SISTER WAS IN JUVY TOGETHER AND SHE WAS IN THERE BEATING NIIIGGGGGAS ASSES 😭 LIKE WAS BEATING UP TWO NIGGAS AT ONCE AND THEY HAD TO WHOP HER UPSIDE THE HEAD W A PIECE OF WOOD TO STOP THAT DAMN GORILLA 😭😭😭 BITCH HAD TO GET STITCHES 😭 now if you ask ME that right there should be another charge for threatening me w a dead weapon an AR-15 basically 👋🏾😭 ider what happened after that but he ended up not even meeting us to get the stuff 😭 but than GOD cause I was the one driving easy target bruh 😭 so we drive to the liquor store then we go back to her apt and this bitch Hannah giving the vibe she gonna forgive him 🤨 so I’m like if you forgive him I’m not coming over here no more I’m taking the cats and you ain’t hearing from us no more 👋🏾😭 AND THIS BITCH HAD TO THINK ABOUT IT ?!?!? 😭 yeah that was my cue I was ready to fuckin GOOOOO but my car was at Rachel’s grandmas house so I had to wait until the next day after Hannah got off work 😭 boom I leave and I haven’t talked to her since cause like it’s one already incredibly wrong thing to have consider choosing a man over your little sister a man that, MIND YOU, she’s known for a month atp literally a little bit less than 😭😭😭😭 but it’s the fact that she DID choose him over me that blows me fr 😫 like okay girl 🙄 and not even a month before that my stepdad literally went insane and threatened to kill my mama otp while I was the only one home over money that he literally just misplaced and I literally had to make a grand escape 😭😭😭 all the men are going insane fear 🤨 but yeah a Rachel was getting in my last nerve that why we don’t talk anymore 🙄 I’ll get into her topic later I’ve already drawn on a lot 😭 but yeah back to life update my FL sister moved back to FL THABK GOD she’s SOOO annoying 😭 the day my stepdad threatened by mama he was driving somewhere and literally went blind from stress 😭😭😭😭😭 and I haven’t seen him again besides him picking up his stuff in trash bags w the police here on a keep the peace order. I don’t talk to my discord friends anymore I GRADUATED ON TIME 👹 I’ve lost like 30lbs 😝 not much else interesting has happened that I can immediately think of 🤨 so I guess I’ll end this here for now peace out Girl Scout 🧌

[strwbrrysteam]

oct. 4th, 2021

8:31pm

okay. i’m back. or at least i’ll try to be. the basic updates on loose ends in my last posts

me and rachel are not talking we won’t be talking anymore.

the cat is still here. she didn’t take him she has not attempted to take him.

i’m not sure there’s not much else to that. i started school one or two months ago. i met some rlly cool ppl in my discord server i’ll get more into one of them bc i’m not sure if our feelings for each other are platonic or not and it’s kinda scaring me. i’m failing my classes rn. two of my old bsfs from my old school got exposed for being racist. i told one of them to khs and i might get in trouble for it idk yet she just said she was contacting the authorities so yeah. my older sister from florida moved in with us. i fucking hate it. she’s constantly asking me to use my car and overall is just annoying. it’s like having a stranger in your house expecting you to bend over backwards for them… she moved in with us bc she was suicidal and wanted to come back up here…. my mom has been so accommodating and nice to her and it makes me so fucking mad. i always just used the excuse that she doesn’t believe in mental health or doesn’t understand it but she does. she does she just doesn’t care about mine at all. and honestly i think that’s why that one day when my nephew was screaming at her and she just asked him what’s wrong i was so upset he didn’t get in trouble. it’s crazy watching her treat everyone better and all i can do is shake my head and watch. its… making me having even more animosity towards my sister from florida which ik it’s not her fault but i can’t help it. me and rachel still follow each other on ig. she watches my story everyday. i don’t watch hers well i scroll over on it so i can see it without it telling her i watch hers. she said he was her best friend which yeah ik when we were still friends i was getting replaced. but it’s kinda like when ppl break up and next week the other pops up with a new lover. it’s like this sinking feeling of knowing they most likely were more important from the beginning and it feels like they were waiting to replace you… it hurts. but yeah there’s nothing i can do about it. i’m gonna go now.

feeling: hurt

[strwbrrysteam]

oct. 2, 2021

12:46 am

uh hi. lol. i’ve been gone for a while but later i’ll sum up what’s all happened.

[strwbrrysteam]

aug 18, 2021

7:42 am

dream

i had a dream. it was at this school even and me, my niece, my sister, and some really fine guy (sometimes he morphed into a girl) and we were making our way up the levels of a school for like an event. then we were going up the bleachers to watch the dodgeball game that was happening and i had to sit between the guys legs bc there wasn’t enough space. and i remember almost the whole entire game he was like BARELY grinding against me then just like out of nowhere he started grinding rlly hard and it felt rlly good. i moaned rlly loud. then we had to get up and get napkins cause something had and me and him went down the bleachers to get napkins. and we were flirtily joking around i remember i was like “omg are we gonna have s3x” and then i just started thinking abt how self conscious i am abt my b00bs (not sure if rumble will lemme say that anymore.) bc their rlly big (40H) and they’re saggy. and then nothing happened and we went up the bleachers to clean the mess. then me and my sister popped up at some like rlly place with stairs and ig we had to pay to get in or something cause there was this rlly fine guy waiting at the door with this small dog with a bowl cut in his hands. and he was telling us abt the dog and every time we petted it’s head it’s hair got shorter and short until it was normal. random ik. then we went thru the doors and suddenly i was on a random street and wanted to go home. so i started walking then some creepy car started coming down the street and i just started running. i turned on a street and the car kept going straight but i ran all the way up the hill then i looked back and i had dropped my phone all the way at the beginning of the street so if i needed help i couldn’t call for it. so i started heading down the hill and there was an empty car parked there and there was a phone right at the front bumper of it and i went to pick it up so i could return the phone and i started to pick it up and there was a string attached to it. at first i thought it was a spider web then i realized it’s a trap and i was abt to be kidnapped/s3xtrafficked so i snatched up the phone as i started to run and tried to dial 911 on it. it wasn’t working and i just kept running until i was to this suburban area and the phone finally started working. it was some lady when someone answered the phone. i think she set up the trap bc she was talking abt how we had to cover up what happened and she was really stressed abt it. then i dreamed that i woke up and was thinking abt the fact that in some of the… dare i say wet dream. the person was a girl (oh yeah i forgot to mention in that part of the dream i couldn’t see either of their faces it was just like how in old cartoons the parents faces arent in view) and i was like omg am i bi??? then i woke up.

[strwbrrysteam]

aug 18, 2021

12:32am

it sucks not being able to get up to do the things you wanna do i literally CANNOT bring myself to do them. yes me and rachel are still mad at each other. idc. i just wanted to update since it’s been a minute but i’m not dead lol. honestly i don’t think i’ll really care if we never talk again as long as the cat gets to stay.

[strwbrrysteam]

aug 13, 2021

4:18 am

i typed a long post and accidentally deleted it so long story short rachel’s acting like a stupid ass fucking child and is trying to fly 16 hours away to meet and stranger and i fucking relapsed. i’ll explain more later but for now fuck this shit.