study-a-latte

[study-a-latte]

Half-ass-ing It Really Is Better Than Not Doing It:

I have days where everything feels so overwhelming and big but there are still things that need to happen, so I click over onto Energy Saving Mode. Here are some examples: 

Some days washing my hair feels like too much and that’s stopping me from showering. So I skip washing my hair and just shower. Afterwards, if I need to go out, I’ll put my greasy hair in a french braid because it’s less obvious that my hairs dirty in this style (just do whatever you can manage that keeps your dirty hair off your face).

Having to fold and put away laundry often makes me just want to leave it on the line or not do the washing at all. So I don’t fold it. I dump the clean, dry clothes in a designated basket in my room. That way I can still get to my clean clothes and when I feel better I’ll fold them (or not because it doesn’t matter, all that matters is I have clean clothes!). The idea of not having to fold and put away clean laundry helps me actually do it. 

If I have to do a reading or prep for a lecture, and it’s just too much today, then I just speed read through the material. I might not be absorbing as much as I’d like but at least I’m vaguely familiar with the drift of what’s happening which makes it easier to keep up with the lecture content. (Sometimes I absorb nothing but at least I know vaguely what the lecturer is talking about when they refer to the reading, making it easier for me to go back and look for the info if I have to. It also gives me some context for the upcoming lectures which is helpful). 

Do the assignment that’s due tomorrow/tonight, even if you’re sure your answers don’t really make sense and it’s the worst pile of garbage you’ve ever handed in. It’s better to get a really bad mark than in incomplete. And if you’re super worried about the quality of the work, you can email your marker after handing it in and be like ‘hey, I was super sick this weekend and this is the best I could manage’. Sometimes, they’ll appreciate the effort and be kinder while marking. (I don’t do this as I’ve found I often think my work is trash that’s only going to get like 10% and then it turns out to be around 50% which is a mark that won’t sink my semester). 

I use ‘sick’ as a euphemism for when my depression/mania/anxiety leaves me low-functioning (although in this pandemmy I’ve now had to lie that i’ve been to the doctor and it isn’t covid). Normally, people just understand when you say your feeling sick (or have a cold) and don’t try and bully you into coming out nor do they ask invasive follow-up questions. It gives me a really good easy excuse to get out of things I just can’t do. 

 Going into Energy Saving Mode like this means that, after a bad day, I can get into bed and think ‘Huh, look at how much I did despite having my mental illness suck so much of my battery life today’. Even if all I really did was shower, eat and cut my nails, I still feel like I did a lot because I did more than nothing. It makes me feel more positive, meaning I sometimes have a better day the following day (or even a more productive evening of the same day), instead of doing nothing and beating myself up about it and carrying that negative momentum into the next day until I end up with a week where I can’t even get out of bed. (It’s also okay if Energy Saving Mode lasts for more than a day. It can go as long as it takes for everything to start feeling easier again). 

Energy Saving Mode is my version of self care, because if I did nothing all day and called it self care I would make things far worse for myself. (But if you need a day, every now and then, where you don’t do anything that requires getting out of bed then take that day! We all need different thing in order to be able to cope, this is just me!)

[study-a-latte]

the happiest you’ve ever been is not the happiest you’ll ever be

[study-a-latte]

i will find, one day, the words that are correct. and i will sew them perfectly into my skin and they will sink into the past and they will stitch together a little broken girl and i will be healed altogether.

what would i say to her? 16 and shivering. i’d tell her the truth - we missed the  ten year anniversary of our attempt because we were too busy and too full of life and so happy that we no longer count hours in crescents. there will be a lot of people who tell you it is worth it, that it gets better, but you will not believe them. little mouse, it is not easy. you will break down so many times you will have a fondness for rock bottom. you will become soul tethered to sisyphus, feeling yourself push the burden of your baggage up-and-up-and-up, over and over, each season like a metronome.

i would like to tell you do your homework or make more friends or try laughter instead. but we are older now, my love, and the world is different. tiny things seem silly now. instead, if there’s anything - just, while you’re there, look around. you do not have to like where you are. you do not have to squeeze juice out of the rotten core of your weeks. instead, take note of the changing of leaves. of how many clouds were worth noting. of bees and butterflies and hands that hold. one day you will miss just-being-home. one day your memories will flatten like a well-worn stone. keep a few, if you can, of the smell of baking and of loam.

people will tell you just live for right now, but you will not be able to do that, because your life is a wound and it needs to bleed. live, instead, if you can, just for me. for being 27 and loving green tea and a job worth doing and people in your phone you can call at any minute and having a dog you rescued and two tattoos and friends you can lay in bed with while all three of you read. for being in love with birds and having beaten another pokemon game and for learning your new favorite joke. we end up living only so our mother won’t be sad - and she’s doing great. she’s happy. they live up in maine now, isn’t that funny. but live, a little, just for me.

i sometimes, weakly, regret all the things that have been taken from me. i could have been a doctor! i could have a steady job! I could have gone to so many things! instead i was panicked or hungry or sobbing or so numb i could have been an ice rink. 

but we never regret being here. we never regret what we gained in the bargain. you get to go to weddings (you’ll love her, i promise) and carnivals and graduations and halloween parties and you will love, wholeheartedly, all of it. one by one each emotion will come crawling back and one day you’ll realize you laugh without faking it. you just laugh. you experience movie-like joy so easily. can you believe that people call you bubbly? it’s lovely, what you’re waiting for. we have access to art supplies and good food and ice cream (it’s diary free - while you’re young, eat as much you can, just trust me).

when you’re 22, a friend will tell you - tomorrow might be the best day of my life. people’s luck changes all the time. maybe tomorrow i will make friends with bill gates. maybe tomorrow i’ll rescue a tiger from a cage. maybe today i make a small change, and by three weeks from now, i’m running the city under a new name. 

the truth is that, at 27, you don’t live for tomorrow anymore. you don’t white-knuckle brace-for-it, hope-it-gets-better-somehow. you just wake up, and grab a coffee, and laugh about dumb things, and listen to your music too loudly. the world in 10 years will taste like honey.

keep living. keep going. just trust me. 

[study-a-latte]

tips for your daily routine

1. have rituals to start your day. before sitting down to study, you need to be ready for the day ahead. this could range from watering plants (like you’ve seen in the video hehe) to meditating to cleaning your study space or simply making yourself your cup of coffee

2. if smaller tasks come up, or you really don’t feel like starting: try the 1 minute rule. tell yourself you’ll do the work for just a minute, and if you don’t feel like continuing, you can stop. most often what’s actually holding us back isn’t the task itself but the “starting energy” we need to initiate it.

3. plan study breaks, or use the pomodoro techniques. knowing in advance how much longer you have to study during a session will make you less likely to just pull out your phone now.

4. don’t rely on motivation. you won’t be able to stay motivated for weeks on end, so have a clear plan of tasks you need to get done, regardless of how motivated or inspired you feel that way. cultivating discipline is incredibly important and the sooner you start, the better.

if you want to see what my daily routine/a day in my life in medical school looks like, click here!

[study-a-latte]

4 productivity tips - how you need to change your mindset

1. don’t complain about being busy. this is difficult, for many of us. but you need to avoid crafting an image of being busy because it makes you feel important - complaining about your workload actually just takes important mental energy away from you. instead of worrying about your to-do list, get on with it. a peaceful frame of mind is crucial.

2. when you think about getting a lot done, try not to see it as adding more tasks, but rather as eliminating more of them. what tasks are taking away most of your time and energy? sometimes it’s more important to eliminate than to add.

3. give yourself permission to procrastinate. some things need patience, and you need to be alright with not getting everything done in one go. it’s better to let the essay unfinished until tomorrow to edit it again, than edit past midnight when you’re exhausted - even when your perfectionist mind wants it done now. it’s okay.

4. set a priority. and by that, i mean one. let what you’re working in completely absorb your attention, and focus on it alone. don’t start thinking about all your other tasks, and problems. rather, do everything intentionally.

[for more posts like these, follow me over on Instagram @softlyshade]

[study-a-latte]

Small Ways To Improve Your Life

make your bed to immediately make your room look more put together

water first, then coffee or tea

pray or meditate, even just for ten minutes, to set the tone for your day

browse the news headlines ( & read the articles that interest you when you’ve got time)

wear something you feel b o m b in

listen to music while doing your daily activities-commuting, cleaning, cooking, exercising

smile at at least two people

smile at YOURSELF

call or message someone you love

eat food that makes you feel radiant

make lists of things you need to accomplish for the day

stretch for 10 minutes

record in your phone the positive thoughts you have so you can remember them

carry water with you (always always always)

shut off your phone for an hour and have some ME time

take a hot shower or bath at the end of a stressful day

try to make plans to spend time with someone at least once a week

think about 3 things you are grateful for at the end of each day

do something calming, relaxing, and non-electronic 30 minutes before you sleep

sleep pants-less

[study-a-latte]

on childhood friendship: (1) / (2) / (3, 4) night in the woods (2017) / (5) / (6) / (7)  p.s. i still love you, jenny han

[study-a-latte]

Sutematsu Oyama (1860-1919): Japan’s First College-Educated Woman

Full entry (with footnotes) here. Patreon here. Art notes behind the cut.

Keep reading

[study-a-latte]

Venus in Libra is the most fair and balanced Venus Sign when in love. They want to take care of their partner and in return they want their partner to take care of them. The most sure fire way to piss off a Venus in Libra is to not return the same amount of affection that they give to you. It makes them feel used and unappreciated. They will give you multiple chances but at a certain point Venus in Libra will eventually have enough and get out of the relationship.

[study-a-latte]

Octopus filmed changing colours while sleeping.

[study-a-latte]

Not a finance question but im in need of some guidance.

I have some health concerns I've kinda been ignoring/putting off dealing with because I'm under employed and have been fat my entire life (had some doctors actively bully me as a kid and its still hard to go and be as vulnerable as I'd need to be).

I probably can't with Covid but like how to people find good general practitioners? No one I know goes to the doctor beyond urgent care.

First off dandelion: we’re horrified and saddened to hear you were bullied by doctors because of your body size. You’re beautiful and worthy and should feel no shame for your body. Next time a doctor bullies you, let us at ‘em so we can rain down hellfire. 

Do you have health insurance? If so, it’ll come with a card. Flip that card over for a list of numbers. One will say something like “general practitioner info.” Call that number and ask for a list of GPs accepting new patients. You can also get this list by going to the insurance company’s website and plugging in relevant information like where you live. 

Once you have the list, read through the descriptions of the doctors to see who might be a good fit. For example, lots of people prefer doctors of a particular gender (survivors of sexual violence might want to work with a doctor who isn’t the same gender as their abuser), or doctors of the same sexual orientation (my HIV+ gay male friend has a gay doctor who is active in the AIDS treatment community and understands his needs and lifestyle), or doctors of the same race (our country has a horrible history of medical professionals abusing or gaslighting black people). If you can find a fat doctor, that might be a great way for you to get practical advice instead of shaming. 

Then just call their offices! Say you’re a new patient looking for a GP. 

If you do NOT have health insurance, you’ll need to do a little more digging. Look at the websites of hospitals and medical practices in your area (a Google search will help you identify these). They should have lists of their own of doctors accepting new patients. You might have to call around a bit more, but it’ll work. 

Good luck, dandelion! We’re rooting for you!

I Think I Need to Go the Emergency Room?  You Must Be This Big to Be an Emergency Fund  How to Pay Hospital Bills When You’re Flat Broke 

[study-a-latte]

The version of you right now is deserving of love. Not you two years ago when you had more of your shit together, or the five years later version where you’ll surely be thriving. The version of you right now. The one that might just be okay, or is really struggling, or is bored and unproductive. That version deserves love. Having trouble accepting this is fine, but actively denying it is not. Your value is intrinsic, and finding confidence in that is mandatory.

[study-a-latte]

My ancestors, watching me dump an entire stick of cinnamon, two cloves, an allspice berry, and a generous grating of nutmeg into my tea, sweetened with white sugar and loaded with cream, while I sit in my clean warm house surrounded by books, 25+ outfits for different occasions, and 6 pairs of shoes, in a building heated so well I have the windows open in mid-autumn:

Our daughter prospers. We are proud of her. She has never labored in a field but knows riches we could not have imagined.

[study-a-latte]

Im convinced that making art, baking, listening to music/singing and dancing around your house are very naturally nourishing activities for your soul as well as human nature.

[study-a-latte]

Get to know Kamala Harris

Pushed a law that forces schools to turn undocumented students over to ICE, separating them from their parents and violating human rights

Laughed about putting parents in jail if their kids missed school, disproportionately harming single parent households, the poor, and families of color like this one, including homeless mothers

Her office refused to address what the Supreme Court calls “unconstitutionally overcrowded” prisons specifically to perpetuate the exploitation of the mass incarcerated for slave labor close to $1/hour(she later claimed she didn’t know her own lawyers argued this.

Declined to prosecute Steven Mnuchin after his bank’s predatory lending and foreclosure fraud broke the law “over a thousand” times and ruined the lives of thousands of homeowners, keeping him free to donate to her campaign and become Trump’s Treasury Secretary

Spent years jailing disproportionately black nonviolent cannabis users while opposing taking cannabis off DEA’s list of most dangerous substances and literally laughing at the idea of legalizing it multiple times, even as her Republican opponent ran to the left of her on the issue. She then tried to pander by admitting to smoking herself despite prosecuting others, but got her story all wrong, and even offended her own Jamaican family to the point they’ve disassociated with her

Used a technicality to stop the release of a man serving 27 years-to-life after being wrongfully convicted of possession of a knife under the three-strikes law she supported. When civil rights groups and nearly 100,000 petition signatures got him released after 14 years she took him back to court again for a crime he didn’t commit

Opposed reforming California’s three-strikes law, which is the only one in the country to impose life sentences for minor felonies and incarcerates black people at 12x the rate as white people, three different times, even while her Republican opponent supported reform

Appealed a judge ruling that the death penalty was unconstitutional and won on a technicality, resulting in continued executions

When evidence pointed towards a black defendant being framed by police, Harris avoided DNA testing to keep him on death row

Protected serial child rapists by refusing to prosecute in the Catholic Church sex abuse scandal

Lied about her state’s solitary confinement to block a suit by inmates, claiming there was none in California when there were about 6,400 victims of the practice, which is considered torture

Oversaw a state prosecutor falsifying a confession to get a life sentence and then destroyed the evidence, upheld a conviction secured by a prosecutor lying under oath, and oversaw the framing of another man

Opposed legislation that would require independent investigation of fatal police shootings despite criticism from many civil rights advocates including California’s Legislative Black Caucus

Opposed statewide implementation of police body cameras and ignored police brutality, multiple officers raping a teenager, and other officers sharing racist and homophobic messages, despite multiple requests from the public defender

Refused to hand over the names of police whose testimonies led to convictions despite the officers’ arrest records and past misconduct

Tried to deny a transgender inmate healthcare and endangered trans women by forcing them into mens prisons, leading to the rape and torture of at least one trans inmate

Stood by silently as $730 million was spent on moving inmates to for-profit private prisons

Delayed the confiscation of illegal firearms from dangerous people, then posed a “continued risk to public safety” by failing to implement changes state auditors recommended to fix this despite receiving $24 million specifically for this purpose

Voted two different times to block federal funding for abortions

Following the foreclosure fraud scandal she negotiated a deal great for banks but bad for the ruined homeowners, becoming one of Wall Street’s favorite candidates to fundraise for

Voted to give Trump increased military spending two different times.

Supports Trump escalating war in Syria

Co-sponsored the bill that let Trump impose sanctions on Iran which violated the nuclear deal and lead to the currently rising tensions

“Systematically violated defendants’ civil and constitutional rights” in crime lab scandal

Kept her Orange County DA office from being charged for running an unconstitutional jailhouse informant program they tried to cover up.

Oversaw San Francisco’s felony conviction rate rising from 52% to 67% in only 3 years

As part of her tough on crime approach she assigned senior prosecutors to misdemeanors like graffiti and vandalism, tripling the number of cases brought to trial

Mocks the activist call to “build more schools, less jails”

Supports collecting and keeping DNA from people even if they’ve not been charged with a crime

Defended the discriminatory practice of cash bail in court as recently as June 2016

Supports Israel’s right-wing government and cozies up to AIPAC, co-sponsored resolution against Obama in support of illegal settlements, does not support Palestinian rights, and calls BDS “anti-semitic”

Claimed to be unaware of sexual harassment and retaliation by her top aide over a 6 year span

Sponsored a bill allowing for prosecutors to seize profits before charges are even filed and opposed a bill that would reform civil asset forfeiture

Defended a prison’s religious discrimination in hiring policy

Opposed calls to tear down 700 miles of existing border wall/fence

Fought to limit amount of land indigenous tribes could place in trust and tried to take reservation land away from a tribe just to keep them from evicting a non-indigenous man who had lived there without paying rent for 24 years

Is a latecomer in endorsing Medicare for All and already appears to be backtracking on multiple aspects of it

Refused to review a case in which a pharmaceutical CEO killed his wife but made it look like a suicide after their son died under mysterious circumstances as well

Refused to prosecute PG&E for its massive gas pipeline explosion and now its consultants are running her campaign

Did not properly investigate the San Onofre scandal to protect her political allies.

Refused to investigate Herbalife’s exploitation and fraud, receiving donations from people connected to the corporation

Her associate operated a fake police force but somehow all charges were dismissed

Refuses to support AB5 to give gig workers like rideshare drivers basic employee rights (her brother-in-law & niece are high-up in Uber)

Opposed legalization of sex work, endangered sex workers, and oversaw people being charged for prostitution without even agreeing to sex

Endangered the public by supporting legislation that increased the homeless sex offender population 24x in 3 years, then appealed a court’s ruling that it was unconstitutional. Her Republican opponent ran to the left of her on this issue

Accepted thousands of dollars of campaign funds from Donald and Ivanka Trump multiple times

Accepts donations from prominent charter school pusher and billionaire Reed Hastings

[study-a-latte]

I feel that in the studyblr community nobody actively talks about the study environment some of us have, so shoutout to those students that:

• live with their parents (not everyone goes to college/uni where they have dorms, and even then, not everyone can afford it)

• have to deal with parents/family members constantly arguing in the background

• work / have to worry heavily about just getting by (paying rent, groceries, medication)

• need loud music to study and drown outside noises

• can not "study prettily" at coffee shops

• take care of other family members, and thus have to be ready to drop whaterever they are doing to assist them at any time

• can not concentrate or get "in the zone" no matter what they do

• do not have a personal computer/tablet

• do not have a room of their own

• are neurodivergent and the advice of most study masterpost/tips is not applicable.

You are valid, you are seen, you are not alone. If nobody has told you already: if you are trying the best you can then the best you can is good enough.

sincerely, a student who needed to hear this.

[study-a-latte]

school is starting next week so i need to get my shit together:

fix my sleep schedule. this will happen eventually by itself by the end of the week anyway, but my goal is to go to bed before 10 and get up at 7.

workout daily. i’m going to start with my 4 minute one again.

meditate daily. after working out, at least ten minutes of stillness.

do my skincare twice a day. i’ve been super lazy lately and doing it only in the mornings.

pretend online classes are actual classes. use forest and stay focused. also i want to start raising my hand in online school which i haven’t done before.

use my bullet journal and gratitude journal every night. to feel a sense of accomplishment.

1 hour of academic work. at least. whether that be doing homework, revising or studying.

1 hour of creativity. making moodboards on pinterest, drawing or painting, making beat jewelry or designing my island, whatever floats my boat.

read 10 pages of a book before sleep. for now it will one for school though.

i'm planning on doing a social media detox for 7 days starting next week. to let my actual environment inspire me, not an algorithm.