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Three reasons to just say “no”. 1) Are you finished eating? No. 2) Can I take your plate? No. 3) Did you know you’ve got spaghetti sauce in your fur? No.

~ Oreo 🍝

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on a sunbeam 🌱

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matthew gray gubler wearing suits

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jj and spence reading a magazine together they are siblings your honor

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Why are the people you'd expect to own scary pitbulls the only responsible pitbull owners

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Charles Bukowski, "the miracle is the shortest time," from War All The Time: Poems, 1981-1984

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sex isn't sexy unless it's a little bit gross. have you forgotten that you are a divine ape? plastic smooth skin, plucked hair, painted faces, scripted reactions, scrubbed til only the smell of perfumed soap remains, proportions that are conflictingly cookiecutter yet unattainable, none of this is even a little bit interesting.

you can laugh at napoleon's "home in three days, don't bathe" letter to his wife, but there's more sexuality in that one line then there is in the entirety of the hypersexualized but painfully unsexy internet.

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