suc1d3-1z-th3-0nly-3sc4p3

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Today I drew. My feelings

Day 1, It smells like hand sanitizer, the floors aren’t the best for my cane, I like the pink pitcher I have, it has a sticker.

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My current situation

Through the past few months my stage 3 spinal cancer has been worsening, about a month ago doctors informed me that a amputation of my left leg will needed to be performed in order to keep my chance up of surviving as my current percentage is around 20%-30% due to my addiction and stress levels.

In the past I have sincerely struggled with substance abuse, not only having easy access to drugs from my home city but also having the knowledge of how to access and at times even create my own substances within crossing to the United States. Being a cocaine addict for about 4 years now, I recently have started fetanayl a few months past as nothing was stopping my cancer from hurting or my spine from locking up. I also saw it as an escape from my life, from my stress, from my family, and even those who somehow managed to keep in touch online. Through this I lost several jobs as I am currently working 4 at once and also attending Grand Canyon University for another chance at an orchestra. It has been my dream as a child to be a violinist in an orchestra that tours the world. No longer am I able to achieve that dream is what I realize. I accept my decisions and understand my wrong doing, and do I preach to never make such decisions again as I will be working to become a better person.

I understand many people are upset about how I treated my boyfriend Elijah, so am I with myself. I ask for no amounts of sympathy or no amounts of respect. Though learning from this I will strive to get myself help.

Many people may know what’ve happened, though without telling the people that don’t know, my reason for becoming a prostitute was because my body is the only thing I have left to make some sort of profit off. My goal was to at least make $400,000 and achieve a loan from the bank to as well pay off my amputation cost. As I will die in about a year with my leg still on my body. I take fault of my actions, It was the wrong thing, I am learning from it. Though I thought it was the easy way out, it was not. I take complete responsibility for committing cheating actions on our relationship. From what I remember though, I had zero intention of committing to a relationship with the client I was servicing at the time. Though taking pride in my relationship, I understand it is all gone. I never meant to cheat, I never meant to do harm, I only wanted some way to help myself as I did through drugs. Now I realize, I am wronged, I should be shamed for it.

I wrote this as an explanation though also an apology to those who are against my situation and tell me to go die.

For I am sorry for my actions, as I will be taking a break from social media in order to fix what I have done. Though understanding, the mistakes will never be forgotten nor fixed.

Please consider donating, all donations are greatly appreciated and used well in my journey of recovery.

https://gofund.me/518b2b39

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how'd people even find out u n eli broke up? or am I just seriously out of tge loop lmao

im no longer in his intro and he deleted all the posts relating to me

i don’t even know personally, but I’ve been getting hellish amount of messages saying to Jill myself and that I never deserved him the first place

honestly just thinking about deactivating this account in all, I can’t do this, im on the brink of killing myself, I fucked it all up, every one of my friends won’t talk to me

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Fuck you all attacking me for breaking up with Elijah, what the actual fuck though, it’s none of your business.

We did it for a reason, but I don’t need you random ass people in my DMs telling me to kill my self

I’m already on the brink of suicide, thanks

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I loved him.

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nu metal from the early 2000s...

nu metal from the early 2000s save me

save me nu metal from the early 2000s

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Ship me with a rock star and tell me why?

#:3???

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𝕵𝖔𝖊𝖞 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖆 𝖕𝖔𝖓𝖞𝖙𝖆𝖎𝖑😩 👋🖤⛓️⛓️❤️🤘🤘

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this world is cruel but I still love you

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Aegri Somnia

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happiest of birthdays to this absolute king. 🖤🥺 I haven’t done bday art for a musician in a long ass time. That’s when you know a band has become my top favorites. I hope he is spending this time well from after a rigorous year of touring.

And also, first anniversary since I ‘officially’ got into Ghost. (Posted my first fanart) My life has changed for the better because of this band. Never have I been so quickly enamored by their music. I’ve reached crazy creative heights, worked on amazing artistic projects, gained new and wonderful friends.

Here’s to you Mr. Forge. nemA. 🖤

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Today's Seal Is: Ethical Dilemma

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He's so graceful

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I wanted to submit this lovely seal to y'all

Today's Seal Is: Sniffed Too Hard...

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feisty