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augh. Selfie time

#selfie tag

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the way i would still get back with them if they asked

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the way i would still get back with them if they asked

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the way i would still get back with them if they asked

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i've been really distant from my closest bestie these last few weeks. i feel kinda bad, but i also feel suffocated by being near them. it's hard to explain and i know they wouldn't take it well if i asked for space 😔

#i still think about when they attempted suicide while we were living together #i came home to the place a mess. they were expecting me to be out longer. they drank as much alcohol as they could and took fuck knows what #pills they had access to. #they begged me not to call for help. i told them that i wouldnt and then i walked outside and did. i had them sent to the hospital #then they were sent to the psyche ward. #i dont want to begrudge them for having been at the worst point in their life #but you cant just witness that and come out feeling okay about it. i saw them self destruct. part of the reason they decided to end it was #because i was going to college and i wouldn't be around them anymore. i cant have someone dependent on me like that. i never should have #had that on my shoulders. it never should have been my responsibility. #i used to journal every day. i haven't reread the journal entry for that day yet.

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*mixes redbull and kratom together* hey google why does my body hate me

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bought sour candy that was actually sour this time love and peace on planet earth

ANYWAYS tell me how i bought sour candy again today and it wasn't sour?????

#i wonder what the sourest candy on earth is #i should try it. i could handle it.

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ANYWAYS tell me how i bought sour candy again today and it wasn't sour?????

#im suffering #most tortured soul alive

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the way i would still get back with them if they asked

#the ex saga

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im giving in. I'm letting my mother help me. Life is too expensive.

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Back with my friend again who I was pissy with last month and I feel like I've just remembered why again

#Once again they just use me to talk about their problems and don't even bother asking how I'm doing #Whole conversation has been about them