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svt17oppas · 4 months

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lullaby | city lights series | h.js

For months, you've been hiding how you really felt about your fuckbuddy and the remorse for deceiving him can be sickening. For both of you.

✮ pairings: joshua hong x afab!reader ✮ genre: angst, smut (18+) ✮ aus: rock singer joshua, neighbours to lovers ✮ word count: 15.3k

↣ part i – part ii – part iii – part iv – part v – part vi – navi post – other fics – ko-fi

₊🎧: come in – kai | runaway – minho ft. gemini | lullaby – woodz

₊ nsfw warnings under the cut!

✮ warnings: smut with plot, loads of angst, dom joshua, sub reader, brat taming: orgasm denial and bondage, angsty sex, foul language, dirty talk, creampies, multiple unprotected sex scenes, a bit of exhibitionism, masturbation, oral sex (f), consensual recording, pet names: baby, bunny, sweetheart, princess, pretty (hers) baby boy (his)

✮ disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

part vii

The creaky door to the rooftop felt heavy as you pushed it open.

Joshua was already standing there, leaning back against the tall wall of the ledge, arms crossed over his chest.

Before you came here, you changed your mini dress into sweatpants and a hoodie. You didn't even get the chance to think what to say because not five minutes later you got his text saying he would be waiting for you.

That was, if you wanted to talk.

You took the unsaid part of the condition as a ‹if you don't show up, this is over›, but Joshua excluded that part in his text.

The remorse for what you did was overwhelming. The compelling need for his attention, for his affection, it drove you to do things you never thought you were capable of doing.

You felt dirty.

You approached reluctantly, this was the first time you actually saw him truly pissed—his eyes lowered to the ground, chewing on the inside of his cheek, appearing to be containing himself as you stood before him.

"Why did you leave?" he asked once you were within two steps before him, his tone was low and it caused a menacing tingle in the back of your head.

"I wanted to go home, I told you," you mimicked his stance, crossing your arms over your chest to try not to shiver from cold and pure need to flee from the situation.

Joshua rolled his eyes and shook his head slightly, opting for not turning his dark gaze at you and he redirected it to the city behind you.

"Please don't lie to me," he said coldly.

You opened your mouth to contradict him, but stopped yourself before you could mess this up even more.

"I'm going to ask you one last time," he started and bore his eyes into you and punctuated the next words: "Why did you leave?"

The emotional stress your body felt in that moment was almost crippling, a painful shiver shot through your heart and you knew you just had to face it.

"I can't do this anymore, Joshua," you whispered, a cold shudder shook you.

"Do what?"

The city behind him still buzzed with the faint slivers of nightlife activities of the weekend. But you could still hear his low voice the same, it told you that he indeed was angry, but he was also tired of this.

"This," you gestured, trying to point to your bodies with your hand. "I can't."

Joshua frowned slightly, trying to figure out what you meant. "You're ending this."

You nodded with your head. "I'm sorry for leaving like that. I didn't know what to do but I just couldn't go back," you paused and gathered all the strength you could muster: "I couldn't face you."

Joshua finally tore his gaze from the city behind you and frowned at your words. "Why? What did I do?"

You hated that you had no words for that, this wasn't his fault. It was all you and your inability to process your emotions correctly that brought you here.

"Nothing. You've done no-nothing wrong, Joshua. I just don't feel like we can continue doing this to each other anymore," you stammered while trying with all your might to hold eye contact with him.

"I agree on that with you," he nodded with an irked air about him, and your stomach tightened violently when he looked at you with a hint of reproach in his eyes. "Sometimes I don't understand you."

You stifled a sob and your arms hugged your body tightly. "I don't either," you breathed.

But he didn't appear to catch that. "You shut me out, you lie to me, one minute we're having sex and the next you fucking disappear..." he listed irately and threw his hands at his sides in defeat. "I don't understand."

"I'm sorry," you said with a tiny voice.

If Joshua heard it, he made no note about it.

"I tried to figure out what you wanted so I could give it to you. I tried to give you space, I tried to get close to you…" he pursed his lips briefly in one line before adding, "But the more I tried, the more you ran away from me."

Your face contorted in pain but you made no attempt to contradict this time. You were accepting everything he said.

Standing a few feet from him, you could still see the lines marking between his furrowed eyebrows. Joshua was so angry that he appeared to be unable to make eye contact with you, and that could've broken you.

But you still had to confront this.

"Why did you do that?" he demanded in an irked way. "Why did you want me to get closer to you in the first place? Just to break this up? I don't get it."

At that you heard something in his words that offered you a sliver of hope.

"I–,"

"Were you just using me this whole time?" he blurted uncontrollably, and now you could tell that his anger was seeping through his words, making them sound raw.

A hard stabbing pain went through you under the accusation, though fair, you couldn't help but shake your head, trying to negate it but you just didn't find the words.

"What were you trying to get from me?" he demanded, now visibly hurt. "I thought you wanted something out of all of this!"

Standing in front of him, mouth parting slightly trying to muster the courage to tell him that you did, you wanted everything.

Once he saw that you were choking on your words, he sighed frustratedly and leaned back against the ledge again.

"I can't," he said, shaking his head and dropped his gaze to the ground. "I can't play your game anymore," he paused and frowned in a pensive manner. "With all of this, I can't help but think that there's something you're not telling me."

You breathed in, gathering every bit of courage you had in you. To be finally confronting this made you feel extremely on edge, your body shuddered continuously and not from the cold midnight air.

"Is there something you're not telling me that I should know?" Joshua asked and his tone had dropped the fury in it.

Joshua approached slowly, making you lift your gaze from the space between you and as soon as you locked eyes with him, you felt your knees nearly give out from the emotion that sent a merciless shudder inside you.

"Tell me, please," he insisted, his eyes reading your face desperately.

As the feeling for fight or flight started to set in, you internally struggled with the urge to lie again, to dismiss your feelings to keep this push and pull with Joshua. It was a nasty thought, you knew it.

You couldn't do it.

Joshua's gaze softened when he saw your eyes brim with tears and your lower lip quiver slightly.

"Baby, what is it?" he urged, his voice dropped to a whisper.

"I'm in love with you," you blurted, and instantly wished you had told him in a different way.

You dropped your gaze back to your feet immediately with a strangled sigh, waiting for his rejection.

Seconds went by, which in your state, felt like whole minutes. It made you angry that he was saying absolutely nothing, as if that was his only response to your love confession and that was a good reason for you to look at him again.

"There, I said it," you sobbed and tears blurred your vision.

"I don't understand," he repeated slowly, his brow didn't relax.

It wasn't the reaction you were expecting. In truth, you weren't expecting him to lift you in his arms and tell you he felt the same either.

But, confusion?

"As if you didn't know," you scoffed heatedly.

"Is that why you kept pushing me away?" he said, seeming to be putting everything together now.

Joshua didn't wait for your confirmation, he just seemed to know that was the reason for your disappearances, for your unattached behaviour. He yanked his gaze from your face and sent it skyward with a frustrated sigh.

You froze and you were sure the whole city around you and Joshua did too.

"I didn't know what to do, Joshua. I was afraid of this!" you hissed through sobs and tears.

Joshua seemed to get himself together before you did, he lowered his big doe eyes to you again and you noticed that the anger and desperation were long gone.

"I'm sorry," he said.

Now it was your turn to feel confused, you felt your brows knit almost involuntarily.

Your body flinched when Joshua abruptly wrapped you in a warm consoling hug, making you feel so flustered and confused that you didn't dare to move an inch.

"I'm so, so sorry, baby," he muttered, nuzzling his face flush in your hair.

"What?" you breathed but once again he didn't seem to hear it.

"You should feel the confidence to tell me everything," he explained softly. "I'm sorry if I didn't give you that. I understand everything now."

Frozen, you stood in his embrace as your mind started reeling.

"What do you understand?" you pushed his chest with your hands.

Joshua stepped back, but he didn't fully drop his hands from your shoulders.

"I understand that you felt the need to hide your feelings from me," he told you softly and your heart stuttered under the tenderness that laced his tone now.

You blinked at him in complete bewilderment.

"But this is not your fault, Joshua," you blurted. "I just couldn't tell you. I was too afraid and I didn't want to lose you, but now that you're leaving I c–"

"So you were never going to tell me?" he realized with a start. "Was your plan to end this and settle for me leaving without ever knowing?"

You truly felt that his questions were sincere and your immediate reaction was to nod your head in affirmation.

Joshua blinked slowly, as if the realization made him more disappointed.

"Why?" his eyes read your face desperately. "Didn't you think I deserved to know?"

You burst into sobs. "I didn't want this, Joshua! This was supposed to be a no strings attached thing!" you blurted glumly.

At that moment his hands withdrew from your shoulders and you instantly knew that you had hurt his feelings. He flinched away from you, a sad frown on his face.

"You didn't want what?" he bristled.

You let out a breath and backed away from him too, using your hands to wipe the tears from your face. You weren't sad, you felt angry and utterly dumb.

"To be unreciprocated," you said through a knot coiling in your throat, twisting your tone. "And you—you can't fucking make me feel bad for putting my guard up, because I was afraid. Well, now you know. Happy?"

Joshua seemed far from happy, the muscles in his jaw twitched as he took in a breath seemingly to calm himself. Whereas you burned to leave, to never see his face again, your body started tensing up, sensing the need to be going on your way home soon.

"I'm done, Josh," you declared bitterly, holding your hands up in the air to make a gesture of termination. "Let's just forget all of this, okay? I'm sorry but–"

"No—stop, stop!" he hissed, taking a step towards you. He appeared to be obfuscated, the frown in his face and the out of focus gaze.

The way he looked so desperate for a second made you freeze in place.

"Don't leave before hearing me out," he said as he closed the space between you. "I know this is complicated and we're both upset. But please stop running away."

With a broken sob you raised your gaze to find his. You were hurt and angry, but the moment you saw the desperation and vulnerability in his eyes you wanted to take back everything, you regretted every night you pushed him away to guard your heart.

"You are unfair," he declared indignantly. "Do you think it's okay to drop everything and walk away? Don't you care about what I think or feel?"

Your chest tightened so painfully that it caused you to physically recoil at his words. Joshua had all the right to be this angry, he sighed heavily when you gave him no answer, you only stared at his discontent as you silently cried.

"Didn't you ever think I might feel the same way about you?"

You blinked confusedly and for a split-second thought that you were being played.

"You do?"

Joshua let out a sigh that denoted full resignation, as if he let go of his raw anger in a sigh and his hands cupped your face to press a hard kiss on your lips, which you were too slow and too surprised to reciprocate.

"Of course I do," he muttered hoarsely. "You were so worried about me rejecting you that you didn't see how fucking in love I am with you.

Your body went rigid with a strangled sob, the sheer shock making you hold his wrists with your hands. "Say that again. Please."

"I'm in love with you," Joshua replied without skipping a second. "I love you."

During the past few days of reflection, you never came across the thought of him every saying that. It filled you with a sense of relief and bliss, but it also made you think. How? You've given him nothing but mixed signals. Yes, it was fulfilling. But it was also alarming.

"Why?" you echoed your own thoughts.

"You've been my friend and my partner for these past weeks. You've shown me your affection and support. I only realized too late that I wanted to be more to you," he said simply, as if he didn't have to search too much for an answer. "I haven't been this close and intimate to someone for so long and so willingly."

His hand moved from your cheek to stroke your hair gently and then gathered more tears from your face with the smallest of smiles.

"I really hated leaving without telling you how I feel, you have no idea," he said. "I wanted you to know that I thought of you every minute I was away."

A shudder shook your bones, making the tears gathering in the corners of your eyes spill.

His hands tugged you closer to his body and slowly eased his arms around you, as if testing you and when you didn't say anything in protest his body relaxed, pressing his forehead on yours with a soft sigh.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, brushing a tear with one of his thumbs.

"For what?"

"I'm sorry that you felt like your feelings wouldn't be accepted for this long," he muttered softly. "I'm sorry that you felt like you had to push me away to avoid me hurting you."

"It just made things needlessly complicated," you sniffed embarrassingly. "I'm sorry about that too."

"Don't be," he objected, his tone breaking a bit. "I regret that I didn't do things differently, like taking you on a date or even talk this out under different circumstances... I'm sorry for yelling at you."

"It's okay," you whispered, finally relaxing in his arms. "You didn't know. It's okay."

"No, it's not," he insisted. "I love you. I'm crazy about you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

Then you began to understand when he said that he regretted not having the chance to confess his feelings for you under a different kind of situation.

"Why didn't you?" you pried.

"I was going to, believe me. I thought of doing it so many times but there was always something in the way," he paused briefly. "And I wanted to do it properly for you, not like this."

You sniffed and Joshua brushed away more tears silently, his forehead still leaning on yours, so close you could hear him breathe.

"I'm sorry, Joshua," you breathed into his lips, your own quivering with emotion.

"You were scared, it's okay," he hushed and you felt his brow furrow. "Do you still want to break things off?"

"No, I don't," you replied after some seconds. "Are you still mad at me?" you mumbled with a tiny voice.

"Yes," he breathed with a faint hint of resentfulness: "I'm still mad that you left like that. I didn't like that you didn't talk to me before leaving."

"What was I supposed to tell you?" you asked, feeling more at ease in his arms, feeling like things were smoothing out between you.

"I don't know, anything. Just imagine what I felt when you wouldn't come back and I went looking for you like an idiot thinking something had happened to you," he muttered slowly.

Joshua didn't sound angry at all. It was the stiltedness lacing his tone, as if he were trying to keep his anger in check to avoid speaking harshly at you.

But still, your stomach twisted.

"I'm so sorry, Josh," you looked down to your feet again. "It was just too much for me at that moment and I just wanted to go back home."

"Was it something I did when we were having sex?" he inquired and you knew he was still confused about what happened earlier.

"No. I," your teeth clattered slightly when your body couldn't resist the cold midnight air anymore. "I've been feeling a little jaded these past few weeks. I just couldn't take it anymore."

Joshua breathed in as he appeared to be gathering his thoughts. "I guess we have a lot to talk about," he exhaled softly.

"We do," you nodded.

"Can I take you home for now?" he asked, pushing his eyebrows up.

It was freezing and you felt worn out from the emotional stress, so you nodded with your head.

"Will you stay over?" you asked as you were approaching your apartment door.

"I don't know. Don't think so, sweetheart," he put in gently.

"Why?"

"I need you to rest. And think about what you want," he said as he grazed your cheek with his knuckles. "I don't want to confuse you with my being there."

Then you realized that loving each other was not the issue between you, not even remotely. It was you making mistake after mistake. For weeks, you've been hiding how you really felt about your fuckbuddy and the remorse for deceiving him can be sickening.

For both of you.

"Okay," you whispered and lowered your gaze, unable to keep making eye contact.

A hand came up to pinch one of your cheeks softly.

"Bunny?" he called when you wouldn't lock eyes with him, so when you did he added: "I really want you to think about this."

You nodded silently, looking up at his big doe eyes.

His jaw tightened as he appeared to try to say something but stopping himself last second. He just leaned in to press a soft kiss on your forehead.

"I'll be around if you need me."

When you closed the front door, your mind was already resolved. The urge of telling Joshua that you wanted invaded you so fast that you almost when out and knocked his door.

But you had to reflect upon everything you've done.

So instead of that, you had a hot shower, followed by a long skincare routine that you had forgotten to do for a while. And in an attempt to calm the restlessness in your mind and the pain in your stomach, you cooked one of your comfort meals.

It was the middle of the night, but you needed something warm to fill the gaping hole in your tummy. You knew that the stress your mind went through had worked your body until exhaustion.

Joshua was right about everything. His confusion, his anger, his disappointment, everything was deserved. You lied to him, you fucked him when you wanted him, you tossed him away when you couldn't face him.

And yet you say you love him.

When you were ready to go to bed, it was nearly 4 AM. It was fine by you, having lived through a ton of sleepless nights this was your normal.

But in truth you were dreading the pillow. Being finally in complete silence and staring at the ceiling.

Joshua loved you. He's in love with you and willing to try things with you. You just had to make up your mind and decide how to start reciprocating this love you felt in turn.

That was easy. That wasn't the problem.

The problem was that you lied to his face for weeks, to the point that he no longer trusts you, even if he loved you, you had his trust to win over.

Your alarm went off four hours after you had seen the clock last.

Feeling groggy and terrible sore from the rough sex of the night prior, you made a plan for yourself. To reflect and to come to a decision to solve things between you and him.

So you started your day by washing and then changed into sporty clothes, determined to go to the gym and push yourself through an hour and a half of exercise.

After that, you grabbed something to munch on your way back. Your mind was set on reflecting on your past actions and what you had to face now that you had started to clear the air with Joshua.

Every time you thought of the prospect of seeing him your stomach twisted. You felt incredibly guilty and regretted everything that you did in the attempt to protect yourself.

So when the elevator doors parted, you hurried into your apartment in case you came across him.

You felt utterly childish, stupid.

But you just weren't ready to face him yet.

So Monday was dedicated to yourself, to your work and to reorganize your life after a weekend of moping around on Joshua's absence. You reread the last bits of your drafts, replied to some emails and went back to writing.

As your book release drew near, you were flooded with more and more work. It was an anxious time you should be putting all your focus on, since it was a pretty big book deal and also a big opportunity for you. The release would happen sometime in the upcoming weeks, and you needed to stay sharp for that.

The noise cancellation headphones had become your preferred accessory ever since you discovered them. They did really help in making you feel more focused, and whenever you didn't wear them, you felt like something was missing.

You thought of the times you wore your headphones, volume at maximum in case Joshua knocked on your door, before giving him your number.

You sighed in embarrassment at the memory, and a second later, the next song on your playlist started with Joshua's voice singing in your ear.

The painful jab in your chest made you clench your jaw and close your eyes briefly. You listened to some seconds of his voice before changing the song and tried to continue writing as if nothing had happened.

Damn it, Joshua. You thought.

He had effectively, made his way into your heart.

It was funny to long for someone who lived thirty seconds away from you. You scoured social media to get updates for him on Tuesday afternoon, you watched the few videos you captured of him singing on stage, pausing every now and then to see his face.

And had to mentally slap yourself to stop.

He lives next door, for god sakes. You scolded yourself.

Joshua hadn't texted or called. And as far as you were aware, he hadn't knocked on your door but you were okay with it. You wanted the time for yourself, to think and to gather your strength to face him again.

It was Wednesday when that time came around.

The first time you knocked on his door, too. First time since you asked him to fuck you on the rooftops, at least. The other time you were wearing pyjamas only, feeling both sleep-deprived and horny.

Your heart fluttered uneasily when the doorknob clicked and Joshua opened the door.

The expression on his face changed, his eyes widened slightly and he removed the other earphone immediately when he saw your face.

"Hi there," he said and looked over his shoulder briefly to make sure his roommate wasn't within earshot.

"Hi, Josh. You got a minute?" you mumbled anxiously.

His brow relaxed. "Of course."

"Here?" you asked.

Joshua understood what you meant and nodded back to his apartment. "Come in."

Being in his apartment for the first time felt mind bending for a second. You saw traces of himself as you removed your shoes and carefully placed them beside his.

The jacket placed on the back of a chair that was clearly his. The keys of his car on the counter.

"Is everything alright?" he asked softly behind you, drawing your gaze to his.

"Yeah," you breathed. "Been thinking."

"Let's go to my room," he nodded to the hall that led to the bedrooms.

You knew where to go even if you had never been there.

His room had moving boxes piled against a wall. There was a pile of clothes in his bed he was folding to fit in the opened travel bag on his bed.

On his bedside table, you saw the manuscript you lent him, noticing it had a bookmark some hundred pages in.

"Is... your roommate in?" you asked, staggering before the bed, trying not to be obvious about your snooping.

"Yeah, I think he's packing up his stuff too," he mentioned briefly.

"Do you need a hand? I can help," you offered meekly, turning around to find him leaning back against the closed door of his bedroom.

You noticed he was wearing gym clothes, grey shorts and a white hoodie, though his hair looked recently washed.

"I'm nearly done. I just need a place to drop all my equipment. My mom is taking in most of my things but not these," he nodded to the large sound amps on the corner of the room.

"I can keep them," you shrugged without much thinking.

Joshua looked a bit tired and you thought that maybe he hasn't gotten much sleep these past couple of nights. But his eyes locked on yours, glinting with an emotion you couldn't place at the moment.

"Are you sure?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. The movement denoted not anger, but caution.

You swallowed. "Yeah, sure. It's no big deal. I can make room if you need to store more stuff if you want."

Joshua seemed to ponder over your offer, nodding briefly with his head and he licked his lips before saying: "Can you help me with these boxes, bunny?"

He pointed at the boxes piled at the foot of the bed on the floor.

"What do you want me to do with them?" you asked.

"We're taking them to the car," he sighed and lifted two piled boxes on his arms. "Take that one for me, will you."

You obliged happily. When you lifted the box you noticed it wasn't that heavy, you even wondered if it had something inside it.

But you could open his bedroom door for him and grab his car keys as you both made your way to the underground parking lot.

"Should we put them in the back?" you asked him, eyeing the key chain. It had a small bunny figurine on it.

You secretly smiled.

"Yeah, please."

You unlocked the doors and opened them for him to store the boxes on the back of his van. And then you followed, placing the nearly empty box with the rest.

"When are you leaving?" you asked hesitantly as he closed the doors of the back of the van.

"Tomorrow."

"Oh," you frowned. You were kind of expecting him to be leaving by the end of the week for some reason.

So now your time was cut short and you felt like you had to choose wisely now.

Joshua noticed your reaction. "You wanted to talk," he reminded you.

Then it dawned on you: Joshua didn't need the boxes in his van yet, he just wanted to be alone with you in a secluded space. And the underground parking lot gave you just that—the badly lit and concrete walls, the coldness.

"I don't know where to begin," you admitted with a shy smile, feeling your heart thumping frantically against your chest.

"Just say what you're thinking," he shrugged.

Joshua was weary. Much as if he didn't know what to expect with you and that made you feel even more guilty.

Your gaze dropped to the key chain still in your hand, the small bunny figurine was new, the few times you've seen his car keys you never noticed he had it.

You gave it back to him as you said. "I've been thinking about everything," you started nervously. "And I want to offer you an apology."

At that, Joshua smiled slightly. Probably because of the words you chose to say and the nervous way you said them.

"Okay, I'm listening," he crossed his arms over his chest again.

It was hard to keep eye contact with him, but you pushed yourself to do it. You've been psyching yourself for these past two days now, and you were pretty satisfied with the outcome.

"I am sorry for pushing you away. And for lying to you. For weeks I've felt like being in love with you was a mistake because of the nature of our relationship and I realize that I should've been honest with you, since you have been so with me," you spoke carefully and commanded yourself to say each sentence slower than you would under the anxiety trying to rule your body.

Joshua paid attention to your every move, his eyes moved from your face to the rest of your body, studying you as he listened attentively.

"I am sorry that I broke my promise," your voice quivered slightly at the last couple of words. "I told you that I wouldn't push you away again, but my promise was disingenuous to begin with."

You waited a few seconds, and Joshua read in your face that you were gathering strength and catching your breath to continue.

"And lastly, I want to be honest and open with you. So I should probably tell you that I want to be more than just this," you made allusion to what he said last time, and you even pointed to your bodies. "That is, if you still want... me."

Your voice was rendered to a mere whisper when you were done speaking and you finally dropped your gaze to your feet in utter embarrassment.

Joshua took one step to you and softly placed his hands on your shoulders. "I need to know that I can trust you," he said, running a finger on your cheek. "I want to, baby, believe me. But you made me believe for weeks that you distancing yourself had nothing to do with me, when it had everything to do with me."

You held in a breath and nodded. "I know," you muttered and your voice broke. "I'm sorry, Josh."

In your past days of reflecting about this, you thought that it might be possible that Joshua would have to work on trusting you again. He said it before, he doesn't like lies. And you told him over and over that your reasons for pushing him away were entirely not because of something he did.

Joshua's eyebrows knitted when he saw your eyes starting to water. "Don't cry, bunny. The point of having this talk is to come to a solution together," he mumbled affectionately. "We're gonna have to work on that if you want us to be serious."

"I do, I want this," you lifted your gaze to his. "I want you to trust me."

Joshua looked conflicted for a second and realizing that what you said was not really convincing, you added:

"I am being honest, Joshua. I never wanted someone the way I want you, and that scared me. That's why my first instinct was to distance myself. I thought that if I kept our interactions purely sexual, I would be fine but it started to get to me. I wish I could change everything now," your voice quivered with emotion but you couldn't look away from his eyes.

Joshua wrapped you with his arms, pulling you to his body and you immediately hid your face in his lean chest with a sob, inhaling his sweet aroma.

"Neither of us can change what how we did things. I also held back from telling you," he sighed softly and took your chin so you faced each other. "Let's do something, how about we start bit by bit?"

"But you're leaving soon," you frowned. "Will you trust me even if you're away?"

"I trust you, bunny," he reassured with a gentle tone. "The only thing I'm unsure of is that when things get rough, will you reach out to me? Will you tell me what's going on in that head of yours?"

"I will, Josh. I promise," you whispered.

Joshua smiled softly, cupping your cheek with one hand. "I want you so much," he said with a sigh before pressing his lips to yours. "You have no idea how long I waited for you."

You swallowed back a sob. "I want you too, Joshua," you whispered into his lips, your hands cupping his face with your hands to kiss him.

His kiss was demanding and hard, making you think for a second that he was still mad at you, dominating the kiss, pushing his tongue on your lower lip.

Then you realized, he wasn't mad at you, he was kissing you passionately, just like that night in the aquarium, when he was open and vulnerable.

"Joshua," you whispered into his lips.

"Mm?"

"Let's go upstairs," you muttered nervously, hoping he would get what you meant.

"What for?" he mumbled in your lips, feeling his stretch into a knowing smirk.

"Please?" you breathed.

He appeared to be pondering about it for a second. "I need to finish packing, baby," he muttered reluctantly.

"Right," you breathed.

"Still want to help me?" he asked, stepping back from you, but attached his hand to yours and motioned you with his head back to the building's entrance.

"Yeah," you nodded, looking at his hand lacing his fingers with yours.

He noticed you gaze. "Is this okay?"

You tightened your fingers around the back of his hand. "Yeah, it's okay," you muttered nervously.

Joshua pressed his lips into a small smile and dragged you to the elevator, where he used the brief privacy to wrap his arms around you, face to face. He locked his lips with yours tenderly, his tongue pushing your lower lip teasingly before breaking away from you as soon as the elevator doors opened.

You sighed audibly and he chuckled.

"Impatient little thing," he muttered in your ear once you both reached his apartment door.

You ignored him with an embarrassed smile on your face.

Joshua was serious when he said he needed to finish packing.

"You told me you were nearly done," you whined and looked back at him, finding a cheeky smile on his face.

"I have a ton of clothes," he explained and gave you a pout as if that made everything better.

"Oh my gosh," you sighed reproachfully and started to organize what was left of his clothes in the moving boxes with efficacy.

Joshua's mouth parted a little and he laughed. "You're in a hurry," he quipped, echoing the times you've said the exact thing to him.

"Hand me the tape," you crouched on the floor and extended a hand to him.

He giggled in his characteristic sweet way and handed you the tape.

"Thanks," you said, biting back a smile.

Joshua pretended to busy himself by storing more stuff on boxes, with little heed as to what he was putting on each box.

"You're not organizing the boxes?" you asked much to your confusion.

"Nope," he smiled at you, the same menacing grin. "Why?"

You watched him, mouth agape as he filled the box with shoes, CDs, old course books, notebooks, pens, everything he found scattered around his room.

"Does it make you feel uneasy, bunny?" he asked, reading your expression.

"A bit," you admitted, wanting to stop him and reorganize the box.

"Why? It's just stuff," he shrugged, holding an empty box and starting quite literally throw stuff at it.

"No not the books!" you gasped, standing up to seize his hand just as he was about to throw away a book into the box along with more of his shoes, belts, worn headphones and a desk lamp.

He snickered. "Let go," he muttered and tugged his wrist from your hand, but you noticed that he wasn't using force with you.

"No," you resisted smiling when his smile turned his eyes into crescent moons. "Put the books in separate box," you conditioned impishly.

He laughed at that and you realized he was expecting something like this from you. "Okay, boss," he sighed with a happy smile.

You rolled your eyes and let out a huff.

Joshua finished packing his travel bags, lowering them back to the floor to then put his guitar on the travel case too. Then he grabbed his laptop and his notebook, piling them up along with your manuscript and put them on his backpack. You noticed he did this part with care and that made you smile a little.

"No wonder you couldn't finish packing, you're all over the place with this," you joked when you finally closed the last of the boxes.

"I don't care about organizing them," he shrugged. "I won't need this stuff again in god knows how long."

You nodded, starting to feel like Joshua going away for a month was not that long like he said, but neither Joshua or you knew if by finishing the tour meant that he would settle and be back to normal.

You jolted slightly in surprise when his arms wrapped you in a hug, pressing you back against his chest.

"What are you thinking of, bunny?" he asked softly, bumping the tip of his nose on your ear.

"Nothing," you mumbled, but he pressed you tighter against him and you lifted your face to his. "I was thinking that you'll never be my neighbor again."

He showed you a toothy grin and his hands grabbed yours his palm against the back of your hands and linked his fingers with your own. "Does that make you sad, baby?"

You nodded with your head. "A bit," you admitted shyly.

"Why?" he frowned slightly.

"I won't have you near me anymore," you replied, feeling like the answer was quite obvious.

He read your eyes, looking pensive for a second. "Well, I can be more than your neighbor now," he murmured with the ghost of a smile on his lips.

A warm shudder overtook your body and Joshua smiled when he saw the flustered expression on your face and your breath hitch slightly.

"D'you want that, bunny?" he muttered, pressing his lips to yours teasingly. "Mm?"

You swallowed thickly and nodded with your head slowly, darting a look to his doe eyes.

"What do you want?" he teased, releasing your hands to grab your hips and leaned to press more kisses on your lips, then to your cheek and the spot below your ear, making you stifle a moan.

"Josh," you whined in a high-pitched tone.

"Shh, hear that? These walls are thin, baby," he murmured in your ear.

You heard a voice singing softly, Joshua's roommate singing a tune completely aloof as to what was going on in the room next to his. You were so entranced on the man wrapping you in his arms that you weren't even aware that his roommate was quite literally on the next room.

"You don't want my roommate hearing you like this," he murmured, the grip on your hips tightened slightly. "Or do you?"

He continued pressing soft wet kisses down the crook of your neck, making your eyes flutter shut and your mouth parted when his kiss turned into a lovebite, just above your clavicles.

"I don't care," you finally admitted through a breath.

You felt him smile on your skin, his breath fanning the sensitive area. "My pretty naughty girl. Do you like being heard?"

You didn't bring yourself to give him an answer, his hands had traveled from your hips to your tummy, underneath your clothes and his thumbs were already stroking softly your skin, causing it to prickle.

"Joshua," you breathed.

"Mm? What do you want, baby?" he asked in a low tone, before lifting his head from your shoulder to find your eyes with his.

"Just... touch me," you pleaded with a shaky sigh.

His plump lips stretched into a small smile. "Where?"

"Josh," you whined. "Please. Stop teasing me."

His smile only widened. "Tell me what you want, baby. Where do you need me?"

You grabbed one of his hands, guiding them from your tummy and down to the apex of your thighs over your jeans.

"Here?" he teased, his eyebrow pushed up slightly.

You nodded, still locking eyes with him. "Touch me, Joshua."

He let out a soft chuckle. "There's my bossy girl," he whispered.

But he complied nonetheless, undoing the button and zipper of your jeans and sneaking his hand past your panties and onto your pooling entrance, dipping his fingers in your arousal with a fascinated sigh.

"You're so wet already," he whispered in your lips. "I've barely even touched you, baby."

"I need you, Josh," you breathed, pushing your tongue on his lower lip and dragged between your teeth. "Please, just..."

He moaned softly in your mouth when you teased him with more kisses and started rubbing circles on your throbbing clit with the pads of his two middle fingers, but slowly.

"Lower your pants more for me, baby," he instructed and you hooked your thumbs on your jeans and pushed them down so his hand had more freedom to pleasure you.

You dropped your head back on his shoulder when his fingers slipped on your core and started pushing in and out slowly, the wetness and the friction caused a squelching sound that filled Joshua's room.

With a hiss, your hand flew to hold onto his forearm when his fingers crooked on a sensitive spot and started massaging it with the tips of his long fingers.

"Why are you so quiet now, bunny?" he teased with kisses on your cheek.

You swallowed thickly when his other hand slid beneath your blouse and pushed your bra up, uncovering your tits for his hands to cup freely with a satisfied groan that rumbled in his chest.

"Josh," you whined when his fingers reached up your tight walls, exploring you more.

"Mm?"

You bit back a moan at the same time that you heard on the other side of Joshua's room a door clicked open and the tune that his roommate was carrying go on the hallway and stopped on what you assumed was the bathroom, then you heard the door shut close.

"More," you whimpered. "Give me more, please."

"No," he replied, pressing his smile on your cheek to kiss it some more.

"Please!" you breathed. "More."

The squelching sounds were undeniable now, they became louder as his fingers pushed on your walls relentlessly, making you look down and saw his hand on your cunt. You moaned loudly when your arousal started dripping down his fingers and onto the palm of his hand.

"You're squirting all over my hand, baby," he said with an awed tone.

You bit your lower lip, a moan bubbling on your throat and leaned your head back on his shoulder again.

"What do you want?" he repeated, his tone sounding raw and more demanding.

"You, I want you Joshua," you whimpered.

"Even if my roommate hears?" he teased.

You nodded desperately.

He snickered quietly.

"Please?" you opened your eyes and saw his fascinated grin.

"No," he denied again.

"F-fuck, Josh!" you whined when his fingers pinched one of your nipples teasingly, while his other hand was still buried in your wet cunt.

"Are you close, bunny?" he asked when your knees started to wobble a bit and your whimpers became more frequent.

You shook your head and swallowed back a moan, but Joshua saw right through your weak lie and smiled teasingly.

Then you heard the soft sound of a stream of water coming from the shower.

"Guess you won't be heard when you cum," he pouted softly and bumped the tip of his nose with yours. "But you don't want to cum like this, right baby?"

You shook your head again, honestly this time.

"Do you want to cum on my fingers? Or on my cock?" he asked and started pushing his fingers faster on your walls.

You whimpered lewdly and squirmed against him, feeling the hard bulge nuzzled on your ass.

"Don't cum on my fingers, then," he shrugged slightly, but didn't stop pushing his fingers inside you. "If you do, I won't give you what you want."

"S-stop," you breathed instantly. "Stop, Joshua."

He pulled his wet and worn fingers out of your sopping core. His other hand had stopped teasing your tits and fixed your bra back in place, and then he kissed you on your lips as you panted pathetically.

"What's wrong baby?" he asked. "I thought you weren't close yet."

You exhaled your frustration and pouted at him.

"You gotta help me move my stuff, if you want more," he said, but you saw that he was having fun with your desperate expressions and whines. "C'mon."

He also fixed your jeans up before using his dry hand to angle your face for a hard and chaste kiss.

You sighed when he finally released you, buttoning your pants and zippering them up. But it was already too late, your core was so wet that your panties were sticking to your lips and the wetness gathering there was so much that it had begun to cause an uncomfortable feeling.

Joshua saw the frustrated pout you made to yourself and smiled. "Help me with those boxes, will you baby?"

You did so with a huff as he carried his bags and the guitar case and you followed him back to the parking lot, stored everything on the back of his van with an amused looking Joshua by your side.

"Why are you so quiet now, bunny?" he asked, darting a look at you.

"'s nothing," you mumbled, eyeing him shyly.

He closed the doors of the van and you immediately turned on your heel and onto the building, hearing a snicker behind you.

When you both came back to his room, you realized with a blissful sigh that the only thing left in his room was the pair of heavy sound amplifiers in the corner of his room.

Joshua lifted one expertly and you watched. "Just open the door for me, please," he said and carefully carried one amp out of his bedroom and you opened his apartment door and then yours.

"In the living room?" you wondered out loud.

"I have to place them somewhere you won't have to move them again," he said. "I don't want you to carry them, they're too heavy for you."

You smiled. "You don't know that," you countered impishly.

Joshua rolled his eyes at you. "Where, baby."

"Oh, on the corner," you said and pointed on a spot in your living room. "I think the other will fit here too."

"Okay," he sighed.

You followed him around as he carried the second and larger amp and finished placing it in your living room.

"Is that everything?" you asked as you watched him exhale with a hint of tiredness.

"I don't know," he mumbled with a small smile that only meant that he was back on playing with you.

"Josh, I'm being serious," you whined.

He smiled but then put in with more seriousness. "Yeah, I'll just get the bedding tomorrow morning," he brushed off.

You paused. "You—you're not staying the night?" you asked with a tiny voice.

Joshua pretended to ponder his answer for a second, licked his lips in an attempt to mask his smile. "Do you want me to stay?"

You rolled your eyes and made a feeble attempt to push him by the shoulder. "Stop it."

"What? I'm being serious," he chuckled.

"No, you're being a tease," you replied, pushing him again.

This time he seized your hand swiftly with his and yanked you so that you staggered toward his hard chest with a gasp.

"Call me that again," he said with a grin plastered on his face.

Your hand that wasn't seized by his grabbed him by the shoulder to regain balance but you glared at him down despite yourself.

"You're a tease, Joshua," you hissed.

"Mm," he stopped grinning like an idiot and pushed the tip of his nose on yours, his lips brushing against your own but not quite kissing you. "What else?"

You pulled back slightly and gaped at him for a second. "You're cocky," you blurted, making his eyes light up with a very familiar glint.

"Yeah?" he quirked his pierced eyebrow and leaned his face to yours. "Why?"

"You just are," you mumbled, feeling more and more flustered as his lips brushed yours with a faint smile.

"What else, bunny."

"You... you're making me nervous," you breathed and elicited a low chuckle out of his pouty lips.

"Why, I'm not doing anything," he mumbled with a honeyed tone.

"That's why," you whined with a sigh. "You're not kissing me."

"D'you want that?"

You nodded ever so slightly, afraid to move from his lips.

"Yes, please," you breathed and couldn't help but smile at your own desperation. "Stop teasing me, Joshua."

"Mmm, you're being really bossy today," he purred playfully. "You're forgetting that you're in no position to make demands," he purred.

Your body tensed up with nervousness. "Why, what did I do?"

He had a smirk on his lips, looking down at you with a glint of mischief.

"Don't play coy, bunny, you know what you did," he said in the same manner and now you didn't need more clarification.

"What are you going to do about it, Josh?" you asked boldly, making puppy eyes at him. "I thought you had forgiven me."

"And did you think I'd let you off the hook that easily?" he countered.

Your breath hitched embarrassingly and stopped to take in the look on his face. "No," you admitted despite yourself. "I lied to you all this time."

He nodded, his sigh brushed your mouth slightly before he pressed a feathery kiss on your lips, which you returned only too late. "And you know what I want to do about it, right?"

He pushed the tip of his nose on yours, almost kissing you but not quite, he smiled as if he enjoyed toying with you for a kiss. The hands that were parked on your waist, circled your lower back and traveled down to cup your ass with a low moan.

"Josh," you whimpered and your hands slid from his shoulders to his lean chest.

"Mm," he hummed.

"Do whatever you want to me, but please stop teasing me," you breathed out your frustration.

Joshua laughed and finally pressed his lips on yours chastely, to then move them between yours, locking them in a hard kiss. "Get on the bed, princess."

You smiled triumphantly and sneaked a hand on the back of his head to steal another needy kiss and turned on your heel and walked off towards your room.

You sat on the edge of the bed, hands on your sides.

Joshua entered the room, walking slowly but with a determined look on his eye. Instead of approaching the bed like you were thinking he'd do, he instead walked to the dresser, making your body arouse with excitement and anticipation just by opening the first drawer.

"Clothes off, bunny," he muttered without looking at you.

"You don't want to take them off yourself?" you asked with an innocent tone, but rose from the bed nonetheless.

"No," he replied simply, just like the times he denied you in his room.

You started by taking off your top, without making it a show for him because he was seemingly looking at something in your drawer, confirming your suspicions when he pulled out the rope.

He sat on the armchair you had on a corner of your room and got to work on the rope, his dark eyes set on you.

That's when you tried to make it a show for him. Slowly unbuttoning your jeans and pulling the zipper down, making him show you the ghost of a smirk when you hooked your thumbs on the hem of your jeans and mustering some boldness, turned around to show him your ass as you pulled your tight jeans down.

You looked over your shoulder to see him still staring at you darkly, his lower lip trapped behind his teeth, but his hands still busy preparing the rope for you, slowly.

You stepped out of your jeans and unclasped your bra.

"Turn around," he directed and you did so.

Letting the bra hit the floor, you felt your nipples harden under his heavy gaze and the bite of the cool air in your room. Then you played with the band of your ruined panties to slid them down your legs until they reached your ankles.

"Do you want to record this?" you blurted, remembering the thing he said to you the last time he fucked you in your bed.

"Mm, you read my mind, bunny," he replied, now showing you a real smirk. "But not now. I want you to lie down on your bed, legs spread open to me."

You swallowed thickly and did exactly what he said. You placed your head on your pillows and your hands to your sides, pushing your knees up and opened your legs, uncovering your cunt to Joshua.

"Touch yourself, baby."

You breathed out some of your excitement, feeling almost elated that he was domming you like this—his instruction, his whole demeanor controlled. When running a finger between your folds, you bit your lower lip.

You toyed with your wetness a bit, almost as if you were displaying to him how wet you were already and that made you prop one elbow on your bed and lift your head to see him.

Joshua had finished preparing the rope for you, now he was just leaning back on your armchair, watching your fingers toy with a string of arousal and take it to your already throbbing clit to smear it with your wetness, and started flicking it just the way you know would take you to your climax.

"Don't make yourself cum," he instructed.

You widened your eyes at that and changed the pace of the movements on your fingertips.

"Keep going. I haven't told you to stop," he tilted his head to one side and nodded at you, commanding you to carry on.

"Josh, if I continue I–," you started with a stutter.

"If you cum, I won't fuck you."

"Bu-but Josh," you trembled slightly, clenching your muscles under the pressure building between your legs.

"Don't cum, baby," he repeated, smiling now.

"Joshua!" you whined, swirling your fingers on your swollen bud.

"Baby," he replied with a chuckle.

"Please," you gasped. "I'm gonna cum, please," you moaned with a sigh.

"Don't," he replied simply. "Rub your clit faster, baby."

"If I do that, I'll cum," you muttered, gritting your teeth. "Please, Josh, let me cum."

"No," he said through an amused sigh.

You clenched your hand on your bed covers, resisting your orgasm by tensing your muscles and screwing your eyes shut. "Please, please, please, Joshua."

"No."

But you came undone, hard, gasping and crying out loudly as hot waves of pleasure consumed you mercilessly, making your muscles relax and your jaw go slack. You cried out his name as if he were both the reason for your pleasure and the culpable of your orgasm.

You slumped back on your bed and stared at the ceiling, letting out ragged breaths as your hand left your fluttery cunt.

"I told you not to cum, bunny," he muttered with a tut and you saw him through the corner of your eye as he rose from your armchair and approached the side of your bed.

"Sorry," you mumbled sheepishly, still panting pathetically.

"Felt good?" he pushed the pierced eyebrow up.

"Yeah," you admitted through a sigh.

Joshua pressed one knee on your bed, the rope ready on one hand while the other took your used hand and licked your fingers, making you squirm at the feeling of his warm and wet tongue on your skin.

"Wrists to me," he said and you did so instantly, extending your hands to him, making him smile slightly.

He leaned to hook the rope on your wrists and tightened the knot around them. "Too tight?" he asked, looking at your eyes for confirmation.

"They're okay," you replied, not denying your excitement.

You took your bound wrists between your head and the rails of your bed frame for him. That made him smile with satisfaction.

Joshua finished setting the knot on the rails, tugging at it twice to test it and pulled away from you, seemingly content with his work. You saw him with expectation written in your eyes, you could feel it create a tingling sensation on the back of your head.

He took his phone out and placed it beside your body on the bed to then pull his white hoodie over his head, and then the black tank top. You bit your lip as you watched him undress himself with efficacy, not putting on a show, but you couldn't help but feel completely mesmerized by him.

He took his gym shorts off and that's when he made note of your eyes on him, when you saw the huge bulge on his briefs and couldn't help but shift slightly on your bed, making the rails anchoring you to the bed rattle a bit.

Joshua sent you a look, his lips crowned now by a smile and he pushed his briefs down, making you shudder in anticipation as you saw his cock spring out of the last piece of clothing, stepping out of it to then climb on the bed.

"If you want to stop, you know what to do, baby," he muttered as he leaned down to kiss your face.

You nodded. "Yeah," you breathed.

Joshua smiled softly and pressed a soft kiss on your lips, moving to kiss the apple of your cheek, and trace a line on your jaw with the tip of his tongue, making you squirm and swallow back a moan.

"Oh god," you breathed, unable to move more when Joshua lowered his full weight between your legs, his hard cock nuzzled between your tummy and his.

You craned your neck for his wet kisses when he reached your neckline, and moaned when he delivered a quite harsh lovebite, sucking on your skin just above your clavicles.

"You're so beautiful, baby," he muttered entrancingly against your skin when he started drawing marks all over your neck.

You blinked and groaned again when his lips reached your chest and you looked down to see him pull out his tongue and trace a circle with the tip around your areolas.

"God, Josh," you moaned with a sigh.

He smiled, locking eyes with you, tongue out, drooling on your nipple as he licked it and nipped it with his teeth.

"I love the taste of your skin," he confessed quietly, sucking on your skin above one of your nipples.

"You do?" you breathed, feeling the faint threads of self-control slipping away from your grasp.

"Yeah," he replied, reminding you how much he says that word. "I love the way you smell too," he admitted through a shy smile.

"W-why?" you muttered, resisting a moan when he started teasing your other nipple with his tongue and his teeth, taking his sweet time with your tits.

His thumb rubbed circles on your nipple, smearing his drool all over it as his mouth worked on the other.

"Because I'm in love with you, bunny," he replied simply. "I search for your smell instinctively. Is that too animalistic?"

You laughed and nodded, though you could relate to what he said.

"You sound like a vampire," you pointed meekly.

"Yeah, maybe," he smiled at you too and shrugged. "I don't know. I'd never been in love before you."

You stilled and the smile froze on your face.

But Joshua seemed not to notice your reaction, he continued placing loving kisses on your tummy, licking on the spot below your bellybutton, eliciting a low moan from you and he responded with his.

"Y-you'd never been in love before me," you stuttered out with a mere whisper.

He nodded, darting a look to your eyes. "You're the first," he muttered before nipping your inner thighs, making you squirm and bite back a moan.

"But you've had girlfriends before," you blurted, starting to feel confused.

"Don't think too much about it," he said.

"Oh, god," you sighed and closed your eyes when he planted open kisses on your mound before giving a broad stroke between your folds with his tongue.

Joshua licked your outer lips and kissed them some more, to resume licking your arousal directly from your cunt with a low groan of his own when you cried out in pleasure.

"Josh," you mewled when your legs started shaking again, feeling like you were not going to hang tonight already. "Fuck. Joshua, please."

He obliged without you telling him so, taking the tip of his tongue to your swollen and oversensitive clit, and started teasing it, swirling around it and flicking it for a few moments before wrapping his lips around it and start sucking on it.

"Joshua!" you moaned with a sigh in pure bliss, writing on your bed, your legs clamping shut instinctively.

Joshua groaned and used his hands to splay your legs open for him quite forcibly, making you yelp but he didn't stop ravaging your cunt with his mouth, like a man starved.

He angled his face on your cunt and opened his eyes to look directly at yours. Then you felt his smile, his eyebrow pushing up as he sucked your bud harshly, pressing his tongue against it.

"Josh–Joshua, ca-can I cum?" you pleaded, trembling under the pressure threatening to wash over you.

He blinked lazily once in affirmation. But that was all you needed. You sank in your pillows and let out a loud moan, feeling the waves of pleasure consuming you once again. This time it felt different, you felt your body go weak and you closed your eyes, enjoying every second of your climax to the point that you zoned out for a moment.

"Joshua," you panted and repeated his name over and over again, sinking further on your pillows as you came down from your high.

Joshua smiled when you could only utter his name and nothing more. And without much preamble, he got on his knees between your legs, grabbing his phone and unlocking it swiftly.

You squinted when the flash of light hit your eyes and blinked it away a couple of times just as you felt the bulbous tip of his cock nuzzling at your entrance.

"Ready, bunny?"

"Ready," you replied with a whisper.

Joshua started pushing himself in, stretching your walls slowly, your mouth parted and you felt your eyebrows knit involuntarily as he buried his cock inside you so deep you had to breath out in pure pleasure.

Your balled your hands into fists as he dragged his cock out and pushed it back in to his hilt with one hard thrust.

Joshua let out a low guttural moan, the hand that wasn't holding his phone gripped your hip tightly. "Fuck," he breathed and started pushing in with slow and shallow thrusts.

You saw him bite his lower lip in concentration, and you understood that he was focusing on capturing you with his phone as he fucked you, he pointed the lens of his phone directly where your bodies connected and you let out a whimper as you imagined how lewd the video would be.

Joshua pushed his hips against you for a minute, his hand kneading at your side as if trying to keep himself in control and when he felt satisfied with what he captured on video, he locked his phone and threw it to the side.

He grabbed your hips, holding you in place as he quite literally started ramming his cock in and out of you with a pleased groan, throwing his head back a bit.

"Fuck, baby," he whispered. "Can't get enough of this cunt," he said with a fucked-out grin and blinked to find your eyes.

You whimpered in response, feeling like most of your pleasure came from watching him fucking you to his hearts content, his eyes roaming on your body anchored to your headboard, legs splayed open for him.

"'s yours," you slurred out.

"Mine," he replied and swallowed hard, making his Adam's apple bob. "And what does that make you, bunny?"

"Yours," you replied entrancingly.

A satisfied smirk crowned his pouty lips.

He placed his hands at your sides, his body now hovering on top of yours and continued slamming his hips on yours, filling the room with the sound of sex, of your lewd gasps, of the headboard rails rattling, the bed creaking, his skin slapping against yours.

"That what you are, baby?" he asked with a honeyed tone, teasing you with kisses.

"Yes," you breathed in his lips. "I'm yours."

Joshua smiled and drew a line on your lower lip, dragging it between his teeth to nip at it softly. "All mine."

He groaned softly and dropped his forehead on yours, lowering one elbow to the bed and the other hooked under your leg, angling you to deliver more heavy and deep thrusts.

You cried out at the change of position, feeling his cock reach deeper inside your gummy walls, the heavy and hard pace of the movement of his hips had your body bouncing, but Joshua wasn't stopping, relentlessly fucking you into your mattress.

"Fuck," he breathed. "Baby, I'm cumming," he moaned in your mouth before kissing you, making his hips buckle and you responded with your own moans when his hips pressed against you sloppily as he came with a low guttural moan, kissing you hard and passionately.

"You sweet thing, you have no idea what you've done to me," he whispered against your lips.

You were about to mutter an inquiry but his hand came to cup your chin, his thumb slipping between your lips as he continued to thrust inside you.

"You have ruined me," he muttered and then let out a chuckle, almost a wild sound. "I don't think you even realize."

"Josh," you whimpered in his lips, searching for words to say.

"Shh, it's okay, baby," he hushed as he pushed his hips against you sloppily.

Joshua pushed his forehead against yours, his lips grazing against your but not quite kissing you, that way you felt his breath, the vibration of his moans on your tongue.

"I want to touch you," you blurted. "Let me."

"No," he replied quietly.

Joshua pulled his body back on his knees and reached for his phone again and you braced yourself for the flashing light when he started recording you, and you understood why.

The lewd, squelching sounds that came from your cunt were almost sinful, and all due to his release and your own arousal mixing together, smearing all over Joshua's cock down to his hilt.

He pointed the camera as he pushed his hard cock inside you and then to your body wholly naked on the bed you were bound to. You hid your face partially behind your arm and he smiled.

"Is my pretty girl feeling shy now?" he teased and stopped recording, throwing his phone to the side once again.

You nodded.

Joshua leaned forward again and motioned your legs around him and you did so, wrapping him as he moved his hips slowly, almost as if he wanted to enjoy every second of him inside your warmth.

"Joshua," you breathed in between kisses. "Untie me."

He paused at your command. "Are you safewording, baby?" his eyebrows knitted. "Do you want to stop?"

"No, just," you sighed. "I want to touch you. Please?"

Joshua smiled, looking at you endearingly. "No," he responded, pressing his hips against you deeper, picking up a faster pace.

"Please, Joshua, I'm sorry," you started, but your tone sounded off.

"For what?" he egged you on.

You understood that his question wasn't genuine. He knew why you were apologizing, he just wanted to hear you say it.

"For lying to you, again and again, for weeks," you said in a mere whisper.

Then a sudden realization dawned on you. You were quite literally, Joshua's first love. Just as he was yours. It was messy and quite possibly, ugly. But also so intense.

"I'm sorry for pushing you away," you continued, swallowing hard under his gaze. "And for not telling you that I'm in love with you."

Joshua let out a strangled moan and dropped his forehead on yours, making you smile slightly in triumph at seeing you had struck a weak point.

"I want to be yours, Josh," you continued. "In whatever way you want me."

Then you felt his fingers blindly look for the knot binding your wrists and tugged at it lose.

With a sigh of relief, you cupped his face instantly before locking his lips with your own in a tight, warm kiss, making Joshua's hips stutter in their sway and he muffled a strangled moan in your mouth.

"Is that what you want, baby?" he asked in a low tone.

You nodded, tangling your fingers with his black hair.

"I want you to be my girl," he whispered in your lips. "Forever."

You moaned at the sound of that and nodded frantically.

"Want that too, bunny?" he asked, pushing his hips against yours harder with a guttural moan.

"Yes, yes, Joshua," you whimpered entrancingly.

"Want me to make you mine? My wife?" he gasped and the question alone sent shivers down your spine.

Your mind reeled with an ecstatic shudder. "Yes!" you gasped. "Oh god, yes."

Joshua seemed immersed in the same frenzied trance, his breath hitched and grazed his lips against yours before clashing them together in a sloppy kiss.

"I'm gonna make you my wife. Keep you forever," he whispered shakily under the wave of emotions.

And then he was flipping your bodies on the bed, so now you were straddling him. You squealed and grabbed him by the shoulders to regain your balance, but his hands were already on your hips, holding you in place.

You started swaying your hips up and down sloppily at first, making him smile softly at you and his fingers cupped your chin. Understanding what he wanted, you leaned down and kissed his lips.

Your hand slid beneath his head and you pressed your forehead against his, continuing to move your hips on him.

Then it hit you—you both weren't seeking just pleasure, you just wanted this, to be close to each other, the closest you could ever be to someone.

"I love you, Joshua," you breathed on his lips.

"I love you too, bunny," he replied, cupping the side of your head to kiss your lips fervently.

You pressed his hand against your cheek and kissed his palm when you had the chance to and kissed his face, feeling completely elated, enthralled by him.

You sat up right and pressed your knees on the bed for more support before starting to ride his cock faster and with more intention to make him cum.

Joshua groaned in pleasure and his hands grabbed your hips, following your movements, his head sank back in the pillows and you saw his throat bob when he gulped hard.

You could've come from just seeing him, lost in lust, completely in love.

"God, baby," he groaned quietly, his hand slid from your hip to your lower tummy, his thumb finding your clit and started rubbing circles at it, trying to get you to cum before he did.

Your hips stuttered a little, but his other hand started guiding you, noticing that you were growing tired and nearing your release.

"Cum for me, baby," he whispered.

You nodded obediently and bit your lip before angling your hips, moving them sloppily on him until you reached your high with a long moan, shuddering on top of him as you tried your best to ride your high and get his.

You heard him groan and his hand gripping your hip clenched, his fingers digging on your skin as the other hand was still set on rubbing your clit until you stopped the sway of your hips.

Your body slumped on top of his with a tired breath and pressed your chest against his, feeling the fluttering of his heartbeat, his chest heaving softly.

Joshua wrapped his arms around you, hugging you tightly against him.

"I'm yours."

"Yeah?" you sighed and moved your head to look at him, feeling a rush of warmth shake you.

He nodded and swallowed hard. "Yeah," he smiled endearingly at you.

You returned the smile and pressed your lips on his.

After a while of cuddling to his body, your head was resting comfortably on the crook of his neck, both had already regained your breaths and were dozing off. Joshua was first to wake from the gentle slumber and patted your ass softly.

"Wake up, bunny," he murmured sleepily. "We need to clean up."

You groaned against him. "Mmn, no."

"Come on," he patted again with a low chuckle.

"Fine."

When you came back to the bed, already cleaned up and ready to sleep, Joshua cuddled you from behind now, one arm beneath your neck and the other wrapping you by your waist.

You felt him press a soft kiss on your shoulder blade, making your skin prickle.

"I meant what I said earlier," he muttered sleepily.

"Mm?" you turned on the bed.

Joshua opened his eyes. "About us," he explained briefly. "I want you to be my wife."

You paused to search his face, but he looked sincere.

"Am I rushing things?" he asked and his eyebrows knitted.

"A bit," you nodded but gave him a smile. "Let me be your girlfriend first, okay?"

Joshua giggled softly. "Okay, maybe I'm going too fast."

"But I meant what I said too," you put in quickly. "I want to... someday."

He gave you a grin and pressed a kiss in one of your temples. "M'kay, Ms. Hong."

You laughed blissfully. "God, you're crazy."

"But you love me anyways," he muttered with eyes closed, falling into a quick sleep.

"I do," you said before following into a dream of your own.

The morning came too soon with a loud alarm that jolted you awake. Joshua let out a groan and got his phone before you did, and you heard him sigh and huddle beneath the covers and get you in his arms.

Joshua said nothing, but his reluctance to leave was palpable. He held you tightly against him, nuzzling his face against the crook of your neck and you heard him inhale your smell slowly, making you smile secretly.

"Would you like to see me off at the airport?" he asked, he didn't need to see your face to know that you had woken up.

"Of course," you muttered groggily, turning over under the covers to press your naked chest against his and hugged him tightly.

"Then we need to get going," he muttered and you shook your head, pressing your body tighter against him. "Come on, baby. We can get some coffee and muffins on the way. And you'll meet my mom and my best friend."

"What?" you craned your neck to see his face. "Your mom will be there?"

"Yeah, she wants to see me before I leave and will take my van with my stuff," he explained but realized your question was not entirely genuine.

He laughed when you threw the covers off and jumped from the bed.

"You should've told me earlier," you said and went straight to the bathroom to wash up.

You came back to your room to find Joshua propping himself up on one elbow, looking at you from your bed with a fond smile on his face. "I didn't know you wanted to meet my mom."

"Of course I want to!" you whined and breathed out anxiously. "Oh, god. I'm nervous."

Joshua laughed with his characteristic high-pitch giggle. "Why?"

You threw him a look. "Because I'm meeting your mom," you replied in an obvious tone.

He rose from the bed, wholly naked and pulled you in an embrace. You could tell in his happy eyes how content he was.

"Does meeting your boyfriend's mom make you this nervous, baby?" he teased and you nodded silently. "Why? She's gonna love you."

"Have you... told her anything about me?" you pried.

He kissed your brow and nodded to dress up himself. "Yeah, some things."

"Some things?" you pressed, following him around your room to look at his face. But he masked himself well, pretending to busy himself by putting on his clothes.

"Of course, I've told her about you, baby," he teased: "She wanted to know why I was all marked on the neck so I told her about my pretty neighbor."

Your jaw dropped and used the bra you were about to put on to throw it at his head, which you missed.

"You have a terrible aim," he giggled himself silly. "I'm joking!"

"What did you tell her?" you demanded, smiling despite yourself.

"I told her that I met someone," he shrugged, fixing his hoodie by squaring his shoulders. "She seemed happy to know. So I told her more about you, that you're an accomplished writer, how we met, and showed her a photo of you."

"Wh-what photo?" you tilted your head to the side as he approached you with his phone in hand.

It was a photo he took when you were both in the aquarium, you were too mesmerized over jellyfishes to even notice him snapping a photo of that moment. The side of your face was partly visible, and illuminated by the soft blue glow of the water tank.

"I–," you lifted your gaze to his. "I never knew you took this."

"I know," he shrugged and gave you a shy smile.

You shook your head. "You told her about how we met?!"

He laughed again and braced himself for more of your feeble attacks. "I just told her bits and pieces, baby."

"Oh my god," you breathed out and finished dressing up.

You shivered and hissed when you sat on the seat of Joshua's van as he threw the last bits of his stuff on the back and when he got in, he saw you trying to warm your hands.

"Cold?" he asked and turned the engine on. "I can turn the heating."

He started driving and slid a hand on your thigh.

"I'll be fine," you said and grabbed his hand, lacing your fingers with his.

"D'you want coffee?"

The morning sky was illuminated by a pale sunlight that matched the cold dewy air outside.

"Can we get blueberry muffins?" you asked, eyeing him shyly. "There's a place on the way."

"Anything you want, princess," he replied, taking your hand to kiss your knuckles.

You smiled when he kept your hand pressed to his lips as he drove with one hand only.

"What?" he asked, noticing your gaze on him.

"You look hot when you drive," you confessed, feeling your heart flutter at your own words.

"You think so?" he smirked and lowered your laced hands to his thigh.

"Yeah," you replied with more assertiveness. "You're really hot, Josh."

He giggled at that. "You've been wanting to tell me that for a while, baby?"

"Yes," you admitted through a rush of warmth on your face.

"What else?" he asked, eyeing you with playfulness.

You smiled and rolled your eyes at him. "I like the way you look when you're on stage."

"Oh, yeah?" he smiled sweetly and appeared to begin to fluster.

"Yeah, I like that thing you do in your solo during Hypnosis," the words poured out of your mouth shyly.

It was a small thing, that you knew only keen eyed people would notice during one of Midnight Haze's songs and it was time for Joshua's guitar solo. He'd do a half twirl just when his fingers worked on reversing the notes of his solo.

It took him five seconds to do that but–

"You noticed," he arched his pierced eyebrow. "Have you been watching the videos from the last concerts?"

"Yeah, I've watched all of them," you admitted with a shy laugh.

"Oh you sweet thing," he poked your ribs teasingly but there was a glint in his eye when he looked at you, and a smile that crowned his beautiful lips.

"Are you blushing?" you teased him. "Joshua, am I making you blush?"

"Course not," he muttered but the tips of his ears were bright red.

"I made you blush!" you squealed and broke in laughter when his fingers poked your ribs in a feeble attempt to make you stop teasing him.

"Don't let it get to your head," he said with a playful smile and parked in front of the coffee shop you pointed to.

"Don't worry. I won't, baby boy," you smiled and opened the car door to jump to the sidewalk.

You heard him snicker before he got out of the car too.

The smell of coffee and cakes overwhelmed your senses upon entering. You quickly approached the counter, being greeted by the staff.

"Hi, there!" Seori, the girl that worked there in the mornings greeted you with a bright smile.

"Hi Seori, good morning," you smiled. "Can I get–,"

"The usual?" she smiled when you nodded. "One blueberry muffin and your latte."

"Thanks," you replied and turned to look at Joshua over your shoulder.

"I'll have the same," he replied with a small smile. "See what the fuss is about," he told you for your ears only.

Seori looked at Joshua and then you with a knowing smile that made you blush. "Okay, that'll be all?"

"Yep," you said, pulling out your phone to pay.

"Stop that," Joshua hissed and pushed you from the counter.

"Josh!" you used your hips to try to put in some weight and push him back.

"I'll pay," he told Seori, who just watched the whole interaction with an awkward smile.

"No, Seori, don't listen to him," you tried pushing him again to no avail.

Joshua giggled and tapped his phone on the machine. "Thank you, Seori," he said with a charming smile and grabbed you with his arms to pull you from the counter.

"You're such a child," you muttered with an embarrassed smile.

"I didn't do anything this time," he giggled. "You're the child."

"Shut up," you pouted and grabbed your coffee cup from the end of the counter and the baggy with your muffins inside.

When you got to the van, you noticed in your baggy a small message written with sharpie on the upper corner of the paper bag.

‹you two are so cute together! ...(^•⩊•^)ノ›

"Ha, how cute," you smiled and supposed that the girl who worked on the espresso machine noticed your interaction and decided to drop a small compliment.

"What's that?" Joshua asked as he closed his door and leaned in to read the paper bag and smiled, pressing a soft kiss on your cheek.

You handed him a muffin and got yours, instantly sinking your teeth with a blissful groan.

"So you're known in the local coffee shop," he eyed you with a small smile. "Do you come here often?"

A sudden thought crossed your mind. Joshua was trying to get more information from you, as if he were trying to get closer to you now that there was more freedom to do so.

You nodded. "I come here whenever I need to take a break from writing."

"Mm, that reminds me," he chewed on the blueberry muffin and paused. "Oh, this is really good," he mumbled.

"See? I only have good taste," you said with a cheeky grin and winked at him, your act only made you laugh and cringe at yourself.

Joshua laughed and leaned in on his seat to kiss you on one corner of your mouth. "I got to the first sex scene of your book," he told you and his eyebrow quirked up.

"Oh?" your stomach twisted anxiously. "And?"

"We haven't done that," he said, his pierced eyebrow still slightly up. "Is it something you want to do, baby?"

You blushed and nodded shyly. "Yeah," you breathed. "Did you... like it? What did you think of it?"

He kissed the other corner of your lips. "Mm, did you have the character look like me or why does he have an eyebrow slit?"

"You don't have an eyebrow slit," you pointed quickly but then sighed. "Okay, maybe I did add bits and pieces of you subconsciously to help myself write. Sorry."

Joshua let out a breathy chuckle. "Mm, I thought it was hot," he admitted. "I was impressed, to be honest."

"Why?" you breathed and pulled back to see him, drinking your coffee cup to mask your nervousness.

"I guess I was blown by how intricately you're putting the pieces of the story together," he shrugged, looking at his muffin before taking a bite. "And I'm not just talking about the sex scene. I'm intrigued, I wanna keep reading."

You paused, taking a moment to savor his words. "Thanks, Josh," you replied with a warm smile.

"I had to fight a semi on the flight," he admitted and sent you shy smile.

You broke into laughter. "You read that on the plane?!"

"Yeah, it's the only time I can get to read," he smiled while chewing on his food.

"Josh! Don't let anyone catch you reading that!" you reprimanded with a blush.

"Why? If anyone asks, I can tell them to buy your book when it comes out," he shrugged but you could tell that he wasn't joking. "It's good, baby."

You both finished your coffee and muffin over talks and more questions about each other. It felt nice to finally have the freedom to tell him things that you couldn't before. You felt closer to him, you felt loved.

Upon arriving at the airport, you started to feel overwhelmed by a very familiar anxious feeling. And Joshua seemed to be dealing with some of his own thoughts, since he remained quiet as he got his bags from the back of the car and when he looked at your face, his gaze softened.

"Bunny, help me with this," he told you, distracting you from your own train of thought.

"Kay," you breathed and took his phone and car keys in your hand momentarily.

He threw his backpack on his shoulders along with the strap of his travel duffel bag, took his guitar case and closed the doors of the van and nodded to you.

"Come on, bunny," he said, extending a hand to you.

You took his hand, lacing your fingers with his as you entered the large airport.

"There they are," he muttered and nodded to a small group of people.

You quickly identified the other two members of Midnight Haze, which you greeted with a shy wave of your hand and they returned their own.

But Joshua had also referred with the other two people that upon seeing him, walked over towards you and Joshua. It was a woman, who you instantly recognized as his mother due to the striking likeness and a dark-haired man, about Joshua's age.

Joshua introduced you to his mother as his girlfriend, who immediately wrapped you in a hug, telling you that he has told her about you and that it was so nice to finally meet you. She was so warm and sweet with you that all your worries about making a first impression vanished and returned the sentiment with sincerity.

Then you moved onto the guy that Joshua was talking to. He turned to you and grabbed your hand, motioning over to the two of them.

"Baby, this is Jeonghan," he introduced you in the same fashion he did with his mother, my name and quite proudly stating that you're his girl.

"Ah," you mouthed and nodded. "Nice to meet you," you smiled, recognizing Joshua's best friend by his name.

Jeonghan pressed his lips in a friendly smile and nodded. "You too," he replied. "Josh has told me about you," he said, flashing a cheeky smile to your boyfriend.

Joshua was put off immediately and shot a warning look to his friend.

"Has he?" you pushed, catching on the unspoken game between the two.

"Oh, yeah, loads of things," he teased with a shit-eating grin and you quickly realized how these two got along.

"Shut up, Han," Joshua muttered and ruffled his friends hair teasingly. "Don't listen to him, baby."

Jeonghan cussed under his breath and fixed his black hair with one lithe hand. "Ah, you little–,"

You stood by Joshua's mom and best friend as he checked his bags and you started to get really nervous as the time for him to go to the gates drew near, you toyed with the hem of your long sleeved sweater, twisting it with your fingers.

Joshua said goodbye to his mother first, hugging her tightly and kissing her cheek. She cried a little and cupped his face to tell her something quietly, and he nodded, hugging her one more time.

Then he said goodbye to his best friend whom appeared to be really happy and supportive for your boyfriend, a thing that made you smile briefly.

And lastly, with an air of heavy reluctance, he approached you and wrapped you in his strong arms without saying a word. You were unable to say anything, choking on your tears, as he buried his face on your shoulder.

"Don't cry, bunny," he muttered when he heard you sob. "I'll try to bring you to me soon, okay?"

"Okay," you breathed but weren't sure he heard it. "I'll miss you, Josh."

"I know, baby. I'll miss you too," he replied with a low tone and pulled back to kiss your tear stained cheeks.

"Can we talk everyday? Over facetime?" you asked with an embarrassed smile. "I want to know everything you see in the cities you visit."

He chuckled and leaned to kiss your mouth. "Of course, baby," he muttered in between tender kisses.

You breathed out your nervousness and locked eyes with his. "I love you."

His lips rose in a small smile. "I love you."

You locked his lips with your own briefly, trying to convey all your emotions into a kiss without putting on a show at the airport. He noticed that and smiled briefly before giving you one final peck.

"See you in a bit, bunny," he muttered with a knowing smile.

"See you in a bit, Josh," you returned the smile.

You gathered your tears silently with your sleeve as Joshua walked into customs and disappeared to the boarding gates.

Then, you felt a small pat on your back and lifted your gaze.

"Do you need a ride home, Ms. Hong?" Jeonghan asked with a playful smile.

✮ a/n: heyoooo

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO WAITED FOR THIS AND EVERYONE WHO INTERACTED WITH THE LAST CHAPTER!

i truly can't believe how many notes that other chapter got haha, it was crazy! ty ty ty tysm ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

i hope you liked this, if you did please let me know? i'd appreciate a comment, a reblog or like. my ask box is always open for anyone who wants to pop in ꒰ᐢ. ̫ .ᐢ꒱

anywhoos, thank you for reading and engaging, this last few days have been a little wild for me, but i'll try to keep you updated!

✮ STAY TUNED FOR PART 8 !! ✮

toodles

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