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reminder that fatphobia is not simply a deep-seated hatred for fat people. It is the pathologization of a body type. you may think you love a fat person dearly and still view their body as a problem to be solved. our oppression is systemic. it is not just a matter of attitude change.

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If you're a self proclaimed "Christian" who won't call out racism, sexism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, antisemitism, Islamophobia, classism, ableism, xenophobia and any other form of bigotry and discrimination, you're not a very good Christian. If you endorse any of those forms of discrimination, I'd say you're not a Christian at all. Be a kind person and call out bigotry when you see it. It is unacceptable in truly Christian spaces.

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of COURSE this white woman who claims she was taught chakras by an Inuit medicine woman(who apparently went to hawai'i and Pele told her the white woman was going to be a famous musician) is "using quantum healing to help Starseeds"

"""she felt the woman's prescense when she went to a sweat lodge """"

🙄😒 how many cultures can she admit to appropriating in one post

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"I don't mind New Agers and starseeds so long as they're minding their own business-" Look, the thing is, New Age and starseeds will never mind their own business, because that's not how the belief system works. Appropriating other cultures' traditions and converting as many people to New Age as possible is the core of this belief system. They'll never stop their spiritual colonialism and cultural genocide because that's what it's all about.

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Thin people aren't allowed to complain because there literally isn't systemic oppression of thin people.

Are you able to fit in one seat on a train or plane without issues and struggles?

Yes? Then STFU.

I, a midsized person, may be somewhat uncomfortable because I just happen to be tall with long legs. But I can manage, albeit a bit cramped the whole time for want of more leg room.

But I've seen fat people who have to buy an extra plane or train ticket because the seats are just too fucking narrow.

This world favors thin people and hates fat people. The end.

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thinness ≠ health

and health does not define your worth.

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Dear Non-autistics:

If someone you know or love is having a meltdown, please do NOT

Tell us to "stop it"

Touch us without permission

Yell at us or talk over us

Ask for complicated tasks or answers

Leave us alone if it's obvious we're a danger to ourselves or others

Use restraints, either with your own body or with physical restraints

Panic

Shake us or manhandle us. We can hear you, we just can't respond well

Remember, we are not being a problem; we're having a problem!

So, things to do!

Do:

Make sure we're safe

Remove all stimuli including turning off lights if possible, giving stim toys, noise cancelling headphones etc

Remove us from the situation if possible

Talk softly and offer alternative forms of communication if possible

Sit with us if safe to do so

Offer a stuffed animal or comfort item

Set up a meltdown guide with us so everyone is on the same page

Understand we will be unable to do much post-meltdown. Water, snacks and quiet is required.

Reassurance helps. Guilt often sets in post-meltdown.

A period of inactivity (known as a shutdown) often occurs right after a meltdown. We won't respond or look at you, but we can hear you. Please let this happen naturally

Autistics please add on. What does and doesn't help you?

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I don't think there's enough discussion of the transmisogynistic voyeurism that's extremely widespread in online spaces. it's definitely a problem offline too but it's become significantly more pervasive and inescapable online.

transmisogynistic voyeurism is an obsession with trans women's internal lives. while traditionally it's usually been focused on our bodies, hormones, sexualities, transitions, and other such aspects that portray us as exotic, artificial, hypersexual mimics of "real" women (this is still largely the case among conservatives), it's taken on a new form in the past several years as society's understanding of transness has slowly improved.

in more recent years, the fascination with trans women and transfemininity, particularly in purportedly progressive spaces, has shifted to focus on the "artificiality" of our womanhood from a sociocultural perspective, rather than from a biological and sexual perspective.

it's become common to see screenshots from 4chan and other similar communities of trans women or transfem eggs posting about their unusual kinks, often with racist or antisemitic undertones. screenshots of ostensibly closeted trans women being transphobic to openly trans people have become commonplace. whenever a trans woman is revealed to be racist or a sexual predator, she becomes the new topic du jour, where everyone has to weigh in and publicly disavow her actions.

you might be thinking, what's the problem with this? after all, shouldn't we be holding racists, antisemites, transphobes, and sexual predators accountable? and while the answer to that question is an unambiguous, resounding "yes!", the problem here is the unusual focus on trans women in particular, and the fact that what's happening doesn't even remotely resemble accountability.

bigotry is not a uniquely transfeminine trait. anyone can be a bigot. however, by and large, even supposed trans allies, people who put "trans women are women" and "terfs dni" in their bio, still secretly see trans women as fundamentally male, due to having been "male socialized" (a notion which very strongly contradicts our own lived experiences). thus, when they see post after post after post of trans women being bigoted, it reifies tme people's beliefs that we are all holders of male privilege who have never had to face oppression before coming out as trans.

this idea is problematic for a number of reasons. first, it denies the experiences of trans women who have been oppressed by other systems before coming out as trans. for example, multiple times in just the past few weeks, I've seen trans women of color accused of being racist, even against people of their own race; as if having to face racism all their lives wasn't bad enough, now they're assumed to be perpetrators of it. however, this idea also ignores the very real effect that transmisogyny has had in shaping our lives, even when we didn't know we were trans ourselves.

when we attempt to talk about this topic - the perception that tme people have of trans women being uniquely bigoted, we are by and large brushed off as seeking to "excuse the actions" of bigoted trans women so that we can be bigoted ourselves. this abject refusal to actually engage with what we are saying to instead paint us as the very people we're constantly made to publicly disavow lest we face social ostracization (even if we have no idea who said people even are) further reifies the stereotype of us as privileged men.

I want you to imagine for a moment if trans men were subjected to this kind of voyeurism instead. on an average day scrolling through tumblr, you'd see a post of a trans man's nsfw blog where he shares posts about how rape should be legal, right alongside his bloodplay and cannibalism kink posts, accusing trans men of normalizing rape and murder. another post would show a screenshot of the trans guy who proclaimed to have been hitler in a past life, accompanied by comments demanding trans men take responsibility by purging their community of people like him. you'd scroll down a little further and see a screenshot of a terf blog with "dysphoric female" in bio where they complain about how a trans man they know has been brainwashed by "gender ideology" with all of the comments hoping they figure out their gender identity but still vehemently disavowing them and asserting they would feel unsafe around such a person even after coming out.

the reason that doesn't happen is because biological essentialism runs rampant even in queer spaces. trans men, who were afab, are often presumed to be incapable of harm due to having been "female socialized". trans men don't have their kinks publicly shared to paint them as dangerous because they're generally assumed to be victims of sexual violence, not perpetrators. trans men aren't collectively held accountable for the actions of one trans man they don't even know because a trans man doing harm is believed to be an anomaly, and thus can be dealt with on an individual basis. that last example is especially laughable, because trans men who were formerly terfs are often lauded as heroes for sharing their stories and offered condolences for having been victims of "cult brainwashing".

the fact that this kind of voyeurism does happen to trans women is because, having been amab, we are presumed to be the perpetrators of harm rather than victims. that's not to say that trans women can't be bigoted or dangerous; clearly they can, or else this kind of voyeurism couldn't exist in the first place.

trans women can be racist, trans women can be antisemitic, trans women can be transphobic, trans women can be sexual predators, and so on. these things are all true. however, they are not more likely to be true of trans women than of other demographics. that's the point I'm trying to make here.

stop and consider for a moment, what accountability actually means. are racist, antisemitic trans women being held accountable when you share screenshots of the bigotry they post anonymously on 4chan? does that screenshot you reblogged of an assumed transfem egg being transphobic to an out trans person hold them responsible for their transphobia? is that racist trans woman who's a convicted sexual predator sentenced to prison being held accountable when you share detailed documentaries about her crimes? are they facing consequences for their actions because of you raising awareness about them?

in the vast majority of cases, the answer is no. what's really happening is that you're raising outrage about trans women, and demanding that all of us publicly disavow and distance ourselves from them, even when we have no idea who they are, so that you won't come after us next. you're upholding the idea that trans women hold a "male privilege debt" that we can never fully repay but must endlessly strive to repay regardless. this obsession with our perceived socially male traits has got to stop.

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Late diagnosis does not equal low support needs.

Being verbal does not equal low support needs.

Having good grades does not equal low support needs.

Being employed does not equal low support needs.

Living alone does not equal low support needs.

Having periods of remission does not equal low support needs.

Not having support workers does not equal low support needs.

No single factor dictates the support needs of a person.

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You do not owe your partner(s) sex. I mostly see this passed around in the asexual community, and it absolutely needs emphasis there, but this applies to anyone of any orientation. You never owe your partner(s) sex under any circumstance.

If your sex drive or libido is lower than your partner’s, you may feel obligated to “keep up” with them to make them happy. But you have a right to say no, or not be in the mood, or be too tired, or just not want to right now. Your partner(s) should respect your right to say no and your bodily autonomy.

If your partner(s) try to harass, manipulate, or coerce you into having sex when you say no, they’re an asshole. Having said yes in the past does not mean you can never say no. It is not your responsibility or obligation to provide sex. You do not need to violate your own boundaries to make someone else happy. Your partner(s) should respect your right to say no, and if they don’t, they don’t deserve you.

Your body belongs to you, and you decide what’s best for your sexual health. Happy Pride

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I'm starting to think that virginity is a made up thing that establishes the worth of someone especially a woman, like you've heard that if a woman has a high body count she's a "whore" and if a man has a high body count he's considered someone who gets a lot of "play" or something like that, I really disagree that someone's virginity tells what kind of person they are as someone who is asexual.

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trauma does not excuse ableism.

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the problem with “you don’t owe anyone else anything” is that what I think people first meant when they said it was “don’t apologize for existing, you do not owe others for tolerating you being alive especially if they are cruel to you” but what everyone online took it as “if someone in your life ever asks you for anything ever you should kill them”

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Just a reminder. Hating men isn’t feminism.

Hating men doesn’t mean you’re dismantling the patriarchy.

Thinking we should replace the patriarchy with a matriarchy are just replacing one power structure with another. You will never achieve gender equality.

If you think hating men is the solution to the problem then you will never solve the problem.

Radfems have no ability to end patriarchy and you need to stop acting like they do.

You’re feminists you just want an excuse to hate men.

Talk to me when you have actual solutions.

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terf stands for trans exclusionary radical fartface by the way y’all aren’t feminists

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people are really obsessed and entertained by violence against women huh