t3rr0rbyt3

[t3rr0rbyt3]

you all never loved me.

thank you for showing me that you guys don’t care a literal fucking shit unless it you guys having the fucking issues.

you are all assholes.

#FRONT: 🌊

[t3rr0rbyt3]

THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR NOT GIVING A FUCKING SHIT. THANK YOU, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU. WHAT THE FUCK. I ALWAYS MAKE SURE TO GET OUT OF NY FUCKING WAY TO HELP AND I GET THIS IN RETURN — FUCKING NOTHING??? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

AM I NOT FUCKING IMPORTANT LIKE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES ARE? AM I NOT FUCKING SPECIAL LIKE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES ARE?? WHAT MAKES YOU ALL SO FUCKING DIFFERENT ABOUT ME?! ALL I AN BEGGING AND SCREAMING FOR IS FOR FUCKING HELP.

THAT IS ALL I FUCKING ASKED AND I CANT EVEN GET THAT. YOU ALL DONT FUCKING LOVE ME, YOU LIKE THE IDEA OF ME. THE IDEA OF HAVING A PATHETIC AND MENTALLY UNSOUND PERSON KISSING YOUR FEET. I WANT TO FEEL THAT TOO.

I WANT TO RELISH IN THE FUCKING FEELING THAT MY FUCKING PARTNERS LOVE AND CARE ABOUT ME. I WANT TO RELISH IN THE MOMENT OF SOMEONE ACTUALLY LOVING ME.

FUCK ALL OF YOU.

#FRONT; 🌊

[t3rr0rbyt3]

WHY WHY WHYW HWY

WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE BAD GUY. WHY DO I HAVE TO BE WEIRD. WHY DO I HURT PEOPLE, WHY DO I HURT YOU. DO I HURT YOU? DO I BOTHER YOU?

DO YOU LIKE ME? DO YOU LOVE ME? WHY AM I ALWAYS TH E ONE WHO HURTS YOU???

#FRONT: 🌊

[t3rr0rbyt3]

i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. i dont care. I DONT CARE. I DONT CARE. I DONT CARE. I DONT CARE. I DONT FUCKING CARE. I DONT FUCKING CARE. I DONT FUCKING CARE. I DONT CARE I DONT CARE I DONT CARE I DONT CARE I DONT CARE

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD, I DONT CARE, I CAN FUCKING CARE LESS. I WANT TO RIP YOU APART. PLEASE GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

I HATE HAVING THE VOICES. I HATE HEARING VOICES. I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT

I HATE IT

I DONT CARE

STOP GETTING LOUDER

I DONT FUCKING CARE.

#FRONT: 🌊

[t3rr0rbyt3]

my body feels like ice, my body feels like a large body of icey, cold water -- a large body of an icey, cold sea.

i dont know what to think, i dont know what to say.

i hate speaking up, i hate not knowing what to say. i hate knowing i have to provide an answer.

i have failed you, i am sorry. i cannot speak, the snow is filling my lungs and causing them to ache in coldness.

i feel cold. i feel like ice.

i dont know what i am anymore, i feel so chaotic, so untame.

i feel so wild.

i feel so icey. i feel so cold. i feel like how the ice surround the waters feel like, numb and with no feeling.

this this what i was meant to be? was i meant to be a figure of ice and melancholy? am i supposed to resemble the worst fate of ours possible?

please forgive me. please allow me to change.

i am sorry. i am sorry for failing you. i am sorry. i am sorry.

#front: 🌊

[t3rr0rbyt3]

HAHAHAHA I GOT A BETTER BOYFRIEND THAN YOU

HE FUCKING LOVES ME AS MUCH I LOVE HIM

THEY MEAN ABSOLUETELY EVERYTHING TO ME AND IF ANYONE GETS IN MY FUCKING WAY, I WILL RIP DOWN EVERY WALL, EVERY CORRIDOR, EVERY MOTION UNTIL I GET THEM

'

I AM FUCKING FINE, I AM FUCKING NORMAL, I AM FUCKING OKAY NOW THAT HE IS WITH ME

#front: 🌊

[t3rr0rbyt3]

i can’t help but feel angry and embarrassed

you are making me feel so fucking awful about myself and doubting myself and my system because of your stupid word choice

you literal idiot, i can’t fucking control what my brain does or not — that includes splitting people based on you.

do you really think i care about you so much?

do you think you live in my head rent free?

i’m trying to leave you and myself alone.

i want nothing to do you and i self destruct to get back at myself — so i can feel something.

so no, i’m not trying to “steal your personality”. this is just how my brain works.

#FRONT: 🌊

[t3rr0rbyt3]

IM FUCKING SCARY IM SORRY

i’m sorry

i’m sorry

imsorry

i’m sorry please forgive me please

#FRONT: 🌊

[t3rr0rbyt3]

IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY

iIM SORRY FOR MAKING YOU SCARED

IM SORRY FOR NOT LISTENING TO YOU

PLEASE TELL ME YOU LOVE ME PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME

PLEASE DONT FUCKING LEAVE ME

#FRONT: 🌊

[t3rr0rbyt3]

i scare them

oh my fucking god i scare them

i knew it i fucking knew it. i scare them. im a monster. im nothing but a fucking monster.

im sorry im sorry im scared im sorry im scaring you. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry.

im a monster im a monster im a monster im a monster im a monster im a monster im a monster im a monster im a monster im a monster im a monster im a monster im a monster

im sorry

i’m sorry

i’m sorry

#FRONT: 🌊

[t3rr0rbyt3]

i just want to sob and claw my wings out

i just want to scream and bash my head against the wall

if you want to talk to me, talk to me please

please show me you love me

please show me your care

stop holding back.

#FRONT: 🌊

[t3rr0rbyt3]

i’m sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry

i’m sorry

i’m sorryy please talk to me please talk to me, i’m sorry i’m so stupid for not talking to you, i’m so stupid for not listening, i’m stupid i’m stupid

please

talk to me i can’t take it when you don’t talk to me

i’m sorry please please im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry

#FRONT: 🌊

[t3rr0rbyt3]

oh my god mitski

#FRONT: 🌊 #FRONT: 🌨️🪽

[t3rr0rbyt3]

“If you ignore your feelings they will get your attention in other ways.”

— Kathy Kalina

#FRONT: 🌊

[t3rr0rbyt3]

Naomi Shihab Nye, from Fuel: Poems; “Hidden”

[Text ID: "If you tuck the name of a loved one / under your tongue too long / without speaking it / it becomes blood"]

#FRONT: 🌊

[t3rr0rbyt3]

by Sam{Lightonthewater}

#FRONT: 🌊

[t3rr0rbyt3]

i fucking hate everything. i feel like you don’t love me. seeing you act so loving to others and act so dry to me. you don’t think i see that? you don’t think i’d notice the sudden drift? what am i doing wrong? what am i doing to you that you drift away from me?

is it my wings? is it my voice? is it my face?

what do i need to do for you to love me. what do i need to do to make you obsessed with me.

#FRONT; 🌊