i haven't laughed for as long as i can remember, every time something tries to make me laugh i just suppress it and squirrel the bit of jolly energy away. eventually there will be something funny enough to truly laugh at and the resulting hoarded reserves of mirth being released all at once will vaporize me and most likely a decent few bystanders
anyway i'm still so fucking mad because my calathea was doing FANTASTIC it was looking amazing and EFFORTLESS to maintain then i moved into a north facing apartment without checking first, like a moron, and suddenly it's a distraught victorian woman and it shall surely perish