#//He felt comfortable w/ Addie bc he wanted to be strong for Crepus & Luc. She was safe to confide. Nowdays; he feels ashamed to w/ her

[dutybcrne]

A little known fact is Kaeya usually tends to cry out of frustration. Little known, because he tends to be so good at masking it and holding back when it comes to a head, with only Adelinde having been the one he felt comfortable enough to cry around, back in his youth.

Nowadays, he will adamantly refuse to cry in front of anyone, even those he’s closest to. But if one who knows him well enough might happen to witness his lashes seemingly fluttering as he rolls his eyes after a verbal bout with Diluc, they’ll know.

They’ll know.

#hc; kaeya #//He felt comfortable w/ Addie bc he wanted to be strong for Crepus & Luc. She was safe to confide. Nowdays; he feels ashamed to w/ her #//Back as a kid; he only (genuinely out of heavy emotion) cried in front of Crepus and Diluc ONCE; each #//Him crying crocodile tears to get something out of them is a WHOLE different story. But yeah #//Crepus; after he got scolded for going to Sumeru—bc he realized then how much the man cared. Crepus realized what it meant to him; too #//With Diluc; he never once legitimately cried in front of him up until The Confrontation #//Would make faces and almost tear up; at times yeah #//But he TRULY cried only that time; and it wasn’t even BECAUSE of Diluc himself #//It was because of Kaeya's Vision #//Kaeya had already only been in a bit of a spiral over Diluc lashing out & conflict of his loyalties; of Crepus' death & guilt of mourning #//But it’d been made worse by the Vision bc how was it KAEYA got to have a Vision & thus be saved from certain death by the gods #//But CREPUS; the good; kind man who’d taken him in and been nothing but loving to him; & courageous to the end was left to DIE? #//WHY would the gods spare a SINNER and not HIM? #//It had been too much to bear and utterly broke him in that moment; his sobs more akin to screams drowned out by the downpour #//Of others he’d cried in front of; Lisa and Rosaria are the only others. And even then; it's been AWHILE since either event #//Even with the extremely vulnerable moment he had with Jean after Diluc left; he kept it together for her #//Lisa and Rosaria both caught him while drunk and his fears and frustrations (respectively) bubbled right to the surface #//Significant others/close friends will NEVER see him actually cry unless it's MASSIVELY serious. Like; genuinely life-or-death serious #//Anywho BACK to the post's actual subject #//With Diluc; ever since he's come back; Kae gets so easily frustrated with how they can't get along; even if he gets Why it's so #//But it's much rarer for him to actually get upset enough to tear up in the moment; so unless you're LOOKING for it; it goes unnoticed #//Those times tend to coincide with when he up and decides to head out early for whatever reason #//Bc he Knows he's about to break; and thus tries to get away #//It's not really that he doesn't think Luc would care; it's that he Knows the man would be utterly Awful handling it #//And thus Kae would much rather take the L and lick his own wounds alone than let Luc's rep take a hit #//He does cry a LOT more than most people think; but Diluc actually has nothing to do with it then—it's actually over his paperwork #//It frustrates him the most of everything; esp since he'd always struggled with writing and reading; no matter the help he recieved #//In the privacy of his office compared to his lessons as a lad; he's actually able to get his frustrations out #//Which does help LOADS bc he's forced to take a break to cry it out; then continue a lot calmer after he's gotten it out of his system #//It's one of; his not his Only; healthiest coping mechanisms