#[ man had 4 years left and that was a stretch only thanks to crocus and just.

[pirateborn-a]

✧.   some headcanons on Roger after learning about his illness.

     Roger had always believed he would be traveling on the seas with Rayleigh and his crew until he grew old. He was an unstoppable force of energy and life with a lust for adventure, so it’d never really even occurred to him to entertain the thought of retirement. After he found out he was dying, he abandoned those dreams and dedicated his entire attention and energy towards fulfilling his first promise-- to turn the world upside down.

       The first few months after confirmation he was dying, Roger acted incredibly reckless, far more than he had prior. He was insistent on throwing himself into danger as if to say “Look! I’m fine! I’m still fine!”. He wanted to prove that he was still alive, that his crew didn’t need to worry so much about him. He needed for things to be normal, for people to not treat him differently. Eventually, this calmed down though, likely after being scolded a good few times or after accidentally leading his crew into danger and not just himself.

     Although he was incredibly nonchalant about the affair, he was in constant pain. He did his best to hide the worse of his illness from the crew, no matter the pain. Only Crocus and Rayleigh were ever really allowed to see him in any state besides his best. In most cases, he would just lock himself in his cabin -- or whichever room was nearest -- and stay there until the worse had passed.

     Roger did his damn best to be a constant beacon of positivity, he would encourage song and laughter and throw celebrations over any victory-- minor or major. He had to be sure his crew would be okay with his departure before the time actually arrived. He wanted them to celebrate his life, their life as a crew, not mourn it.

     He left the crew at the end because he didn’t want them to have to watch his sickness reach its peak, he thought he was protecting them this way, and keeping it so that they remembered their captain as his best before he died.

#[ headcanon ] ✧〖 tomorrow’s skies are always clear 〗 #terminal illness cw #ask to tag. #[ mostly extrapolating on stuff mentioned in last ask i replied to uvu #[ bc indulgence--- #[ still shaking lisa and poppy fr--- #[ fsdksdkl #[ just... #[ man had 4 years left and that was a stretch only thanks to crocus and just. #[ rotates him #[ so!!! #[ selfishly selfless!!! #[ doesnt even consider having feelings in favor of caring for his crew and yet!!! #[ doing so because he couldn't bare the alternatives #[ and just. never considering that his crew would want anything different because He doesnt want anything different #[ he loved his crew So much they were his life his treasure his everything #[ but he let them go with celebration because he couldn't bear having them see him decay and just #[ and just. thinks ab roger acting so reckless even beyond his usual self because he had to prove to the others that he was okay they didn't #[ need to worry about him #[ and just. #[ sdjkdsklsd #[ thinks ab him a normal amount fr