#{for context... July 20th is the day Daniel died...}

[l4d-special-delivery]

How did this day manage to creep up on him every year? how did he always manage to forget just how close it was until he checked the callander and saw the date “July 20th”? And to make this year worse, he wasn’t single anymore... he couldn’t spend it alone like he usually did...

Desmond felt like an asshole for not tell Chris about today, not telling him why he was acting so much more withdrawn and spaced out than he usually is with everyone inclusing him. He felt like an ass for just leaving Chris when he clearly sounded conserend for his behavior, I mean, with his resent “attempt“ Chris had the right to be worried. But Desmond didn’t even give him a reason for his behavior, he just told him he was leaving and left the house, and he felt like an ass for doing that because he KNEW how Chris was going to enterprate thoes words after what happened with his recent suicide attempt, but he didn’t want to be around him right now, and he hoped to fucking god that he hadn’t followed his scent up here, he didn’t want chris seeing him like this.

Desmond was sitting over the railing of a tall building in a safe zone that Keith had mentioned in passing when talking about a new hunter friend, the area was owned by said hunter and, of cource, the ex-military solider had asked permition to be up here on this day, just so at least ONE person knew where he was. The reason he chose this safe zone owned by Aiden? it was because Desmond has hoped that if he knew the area was owned, he wouldn’t feel the urge to throw himself off the edge and burden the hunter with having to clean up his mess, however... the need to jump was still overwhelming to the soldier’s mind...

11 years... 11 years, and yet I can still feel the moment when I pulled the trigger like it just happened.

Desmond let out a quiet, forced sigh, leaning his back on the cold metal of the railings that ran around the roof while taking a long drag of a blunt he had rolled just for the ossacion. He felt extreamly selfish for still feeling this regret and guilt after so many years, he felt like he should have gotten over these feelinsby now, expecially now that he had a new family to take care for, but even then, the feelings long built up over these 11 years still stabbed at Desmond’s heart like a harpoon to a whale.

His one good eye drifted down to the asfolt below him, the need to step off the small ledge he had his feet resting on causing a sickening taste to develop in his mouth, a growing sickness forming into the very pits of his stomach that he couldn’t tell apart from his emotions or the amount of weed he had smoked today ontop the building, he'd been up there for a few hours already anyways.

Desmond was still trying his hardest to prevent himself from jumping, trying to keep his friends and family in his mind. The way he saw how worried Chris was when he left the house, the way Ryan made him promise to come back home today as, of cource, Keith couldn’t keep a secret and had told Ryan what today was. He had saw the all too familiar look on Keith’s face when he had left, the look that had said that he didn’t want to lose his brother. There was also the book he had been given from Aiden too keep hold of for the day, and he knew why he had been given it, after all Desmond was still a soldier at heart and he respected others property, he fully intended on returning the favorite item. And then there were of course his pups, his three childeren that depended on his as their papa, as their father. He may not be related to any three of them by blood, but he still saw them as his childeren and he knew they saw him as their father, even the newborn, their baby, his baby with chris...

He had all this, all of this to his name and so many reasons not to do this and yet still... still the memory and thought of what he had done to Daniel was just so... unbearable.

You know... what really even is the point? I try so hard to keep everyone happy and safe and put my own life on the line so many times and all I ever get back from it is pain and suffering... and I can’t even TALK to people without holding a GUN to them... Ryan? I threatened to shoot him three time because he’s dating Keith... Siren? Shot her because I had an episode... Dennis? Threatened him for being close to Jasper... And Fucking CHRIS!? If I hadn’t hasitated I would have Fucking killed him then and there... and I’m probably going to fucking hold a gun on Aiden at some point to! I’m a fucking mess....

Desmond wasn’t exactly talking to anyone, he was just ranting, going on about how he felt and what he thought as he knew he’d never say any of this to anyone, the weed in his system giving him the extra push to just be emotional where noone can see him. He felt so empty and alone in this moment, fists clenched tightly shut as his green orb glared at the concreat he felt to be hunderads of feet below him.

Without even thinking, Desmond shuffled one of his feet foward, hanging the tips of his toes over the edge and feeling a growing pit in the bottom of his gut once he felt the lack of a solid surface on a section of his sole. It woud be that easy, just move his feet slowly over that limit and it’ll all be over, right? that pain and regret would stop... Right...? but was he willing to break his promise? He had promised Chris he wouldn’t do this again... that he wouldn’t attempt this, that he’d get better and he wouldn’t leave him. He had promised Keith that he’d be there when he would get top and bottom surgury. He promised Ryan that he would be there to suport him through his change too. He had promised Jasper that he would protect him. And he had promised Aiden that he’d try not to follow through so he could return the book given to him for the day. But still... still, he couldn’t... He couldn't do this anymore...

Keith and Ryan have each other... Jasper has Dannis to protect him... the pups have Chris, and Chris doesnt need me... I can’t keep doing this... I can’t keep pretending like poeple care about me... The only man I knew loved me, is fucking dead because of me! If I hadn't have pulled that trigger, then.... Things would be different... Why.... Why did you leave me, Daniel....? Why did you tell me to take your life, why me!? Daniel.... I miss you.... I love you, so fucking much.... You won't have to wait for me much longer, love.... I'm sorry I made you so lonely, and I'm sorry I've made you wait..... I'll be there soon, Daniel.... I want to see you again....

Even just muttering his name caused the stabbing sensation in his heart to grow and spread through out his numb feeling body. He felt the burning sensation in his throat from the tears forcing their way to the surface, irritating the scars on his left eye and causing him to to wince and sniffle while he began to sob, the blood mixed tears staining his overly pale cheek. slowly, Desmond raised his arms to cross them over his leaking eyes and over the bridge of his nose, letting his tears fall after months of denying their existance and acting like he was okay.

He wasn’t sure how long he could keep this up... He just wanted it to stop hurting... He wanted to be happy... He wanted Daniel... He wants to be with Daniel again... He loved Chris... But he still loved Daniel.... His beloved husband, his fallen angel.... Chris could never compare to anything Daniel was in his life, he wasn't even close, and still Desmond loved them both, they were both his husbands, but.... Daniel was just.... Someone he desired to be with more on this day...

He can't keep this up.... He's sorry... He's so, so sorry....

#Special-Delivery #One moment I'm here the next I'm there || Desmond #tw suicice #tw sucidal thoughts #{for context... July 20th is the day Daniel died...} #{and let the angst begin} #{depending on how things turn out} #{depends on if I kill him off or not}

[simply-not-an-egg]

Updated (and Completed) Karate Kid I and II Timeline

<Dates will be added in due time for KKIII, CK I, II, III, IV, V, and VI(?)>

Below is the canon timeline of events throughout the KKU. You can fact check it with the movies and show; it all lines up.

I will say there are some dates that needed assuming, more specifically the school start dates, although I was able to figure that out to a fairly accurate degree via calendars and context clues. So, assumed or not, it should match up anyway.

Feel free to use these dates when fic writing as well. The reason I went through and got them in the first place was because the KK/CK wiki is terribly innaccurate, and I’d like that fixed.

Saturday September 8th 1984 Daniel and Lucille arrive in Reseda. Daniel meets Mr Miyagi and Freddy Fernandez.

Sunday September 9th 1984 Daniel meets Freddy’s gang, Ali Mills and her friends, Johnny Lawrence and the quiver. Daniel and Johnny fight.

Monday September 10th 1984 School starts. Daniel gets in a fight with Bobby Brown and is kicked off the soccer team.

Tuesday September 11th 1984 Daniel and Ali sit together at lunch. Daniel sits on a blueberry pie and gets in another fight with Johnny.

Saturday September 15th 1984 Daniel visits the Cobra Kai Dojo and is later pushed by the quiver down a hill.

Monday September 17th 1984 Daniel and Ali argue. Daniel’s bike is fixed. Miyagi gifts Daniel and Lucille with bonsai trees. 

Between September and October 1984 Daniel avoids Ali and spends more time with Mr Miyagi.

Friday October 19th 1984 The Halloween Party. Daniel is beat up by Johnny and his gang (minus Bobby). 

Saturday October 20th 1984 The deal is made between Miyagi-Do and Cobra Kai that there will be no more fighting that takes place between them until the tournament. Daniel has his first karate lesson.

Monday October 22nd 1984 Daniel asks Ali on a date.

Saturday October 27th 1984 Daniel and Ali go on their date.

Sunday October 28th 1984 Daniel has his second karate lesson.

Monday October 29th 1984 Daniel has his third karate lesson. Daniel also catches the fly with the chopsticks.

Tuesday October 30th 1984 Daniel has his fourth karate lesson.

Wednesday October 31st 1984 Daniel has his fifth karate lesson.

Thursday November 1st 1984 Daniel has his sixth karate lesson in the afternoon after school.

Friday November 2nd 1984 Daniel goes to the country club. Daniel also learns of Mr Miyagi’s involvement in the war, and about the deaths of his wife and son.

Between November and December 1984 Daniel teaches himself balance and Mr Miyagi teaches him how to punch.

Tuesday December 18th 1984 Daniel turns 18 and gets his driver’s license. Daniel and Ali have their first kiss. Daniel and Ali become a couple. 

Wednesday December 19th 1984 Daniel wins the All Valley Karate Tournament. Johnny is almost chocked to death by Kreese.

Friday June 21st 1985 Senior Prom. Daniel and Ali break up.

Saturday June 22nd 1985 Daniel is told he can stay with Miyagi over the summer. Miyagi receives a letter from Yukie informing him of his father’s health. Miyagi gets his passport.

Sunday June 23rd 1985 Miyagi and Daniel leave for Okinawa in the night.

Monday June 24th 1985 Afternoon - LAX time - Daniel and Miyagi arrive in Okinawa.

Tuesday June 25th 1985 Morning - JST time - Daniel and Miyagi arrive in Okinawa. Sato threatens Miyagi. Daniel meets Sato, Yukie, and Miyagi Sr. Daniel and Miyagi meet Chozen and Kumiko.

Wednesday June 26th 1985 Miyagi Sr dies. Miyagi is given a three-day morning period.

Thursday June 27th 1985 Daniel comforts Miyagi by telling him of his own father’s death in 1975.

Friday June 28th 1985 Daniel and Miyagi practice drum technique. Kumiko teaches Daniel O-Bon dance.

Saturday June 29th 1985 Kumiko and Daniel go sightseeing. Mourning period is declared over. Miyagi tries and fails to convince Sato not to fight. Daniel and Kumiko dance.

Sunday June 30th 1985 Daniel and Kumiko perform the tea ceremony and have their first kiss. Miyagi and Daniel save Sato, and Daniel saves Yuna during a typhoon. Sato calls a truce between himself and Miyagi.

Monday July 1st 1985 Sato brings himself and his workers to help fix the village. Sato gives the village deed to Miyagi.

Between Monday July 1st and Sunday July 7th 1985 O-Bon is held in the castle ruins. Chozen and Daniel fight in which Daniel is victor.

Monday November 11th 1985 Daniel and Miyagi return from Okinawa. John Kreese flies to Tahiti.

#daniel larusso #johnny lawrence #lucille larusso #ali mills #bobby brown #john kreese #mr miyagi #freddy fernandez #karate kid #cobra kai