#⌇headcanon ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 )

[distopea]

What Mads probably hates the most in his life, is the fact that despite his best effort, he does look alike his father.

Elys is a very dark figure of his life. His father traumatized him on many levels, but while Mads finds himself different in every possible points, he hates to notice that he sometimes thinks like his father. Whether it's through opinions, words or even attitude, he finds himself memories of his dad and it haunts him.

His father is responsible of their mother's death, he's the despiction of violence, brutality, harshness and cruelty. He hated his children, he was purposely damaging, and whenever Mads feels strong emotions, he has the sensation to see a mirror of his own father in front of him. He hates losing control because of this; because it reminds him that physically and mentally he might be closer than he thinks to someone he truly doesn't value.

And he truly despises it.

#⌇headcanon ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #⌇character study ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #; works for all verses #; his relationship with his father is quite complicated #; and while Mika is definitely more like their mom even physically #; Mads carries the burden to be the carbon copy of his dad

[distopea]

There are days where Mads suffers from a heavy dissociating state and doesn't even recall when he has woken up, if he has been eating or drinking, if he has moved somewhere. 

It can occur due to triggers surrounding him. Events, smells, a certain setting that bring back memories of war and the trauma he suffers from it. Usually, if something triggers his PTSD, for days Mads fights it through coping mechanisms, trying to muffle those waves of overly negative emotions, absolutely crumbling his mind because this is how he has been doing for years. But it happens that he lacks the mental strength to cope anymore, and his brain somehow shuts down to avoid facing his traumas. 

Mads can handle conversations, but he looks passive, absent. For anyone outside, they will perceive his automatism, his lack of implication in tasks, and his more distant attitude. It's quite dangerous for Mads to remain in that state of mind; it could lead him to hurt himself without noticing. 

#⌇headcanon ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #⌇character study ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #; applies to all verse truly #; he's a lad with a lot in his head #cw: PTSD

[distopea]

How much would it take for Mads to ask for help with his ptsd? Who would he turn to in a crisis? Or who does he turn to?

@nezumivc103221

It would take quite a long time for Mads to over ask for help during his PTSD episodes. 

First, he's a man who asked for a helping hand in the first place. He deals with his own issues quietly, and he always believes that it would only bother or burden people surrounding him. He's secretive regarding his own demons because he doesn't want to hear anyone suggesting going to see a therapist. God, he knows already that he should, but he has also never taken care of himself. He's an eternal martyr in that matter; he's a rock to anyone in need, mature and logical, but he doesn't know how to lower his guard in order to gain help in return. 

So far, well... The best answer is Mika when it comes to the person he can open up to. Mads trusts his brother more than anyone else in the world, because they have shared the same traumatic experience. Mika is not soft either, and Mads knows it. Despite his brother being more a goof and an apparently carefree man, he's also profoundly moved and shattered by what their father did to them both. They understand each other without talking about the elephant in the room, and that's probably what's helping Mads the most. When he doesn't need to express his emotions or what he's going through. 

In terms of developed ships, I would say that Mads would be inclined to trust Nezumi (in the circus verse and probably the 50s too). Perhaps he might open up to Raum later after the war in their verse too, but they have those inner codes and attitudes that make him feel... understood. Without having to reveal what he thinks either. 

#; nezumivc103221 #⌇dialing the void ( 𝘼𝙨𝙠 ) #⌇headcanon ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #⌇character study ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #; getting myself back in the mood of writing with those hcs! #; aaaa Mads... if only he could open up and talk right? #; I think he just needs to be with people understanding his silences #; and that's what helping the most!

[distopea]

Mads: favorite family member? why? do they own any sentimental objects? why are they sentimental? do they play any instruments? if not, would they like to learn one?

@nezumivc103221

THE REAL IMPORTANT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT QUESTIONS

Favorite family member? why?

His brother Mika is definitely his favorite family member and it's easy to guess why. Basically, the two of them are orphans; their mother was killed by the violence of their father, and their father eventually died because of his alcohol addiction. Since they are teenagers and even before, they could only rely on each other and it's an unmatchable bond. Mads profoundly loves and adores his brother, he trusts him with his guts, and he's the only human being (aside from development in threads) capable of calming him down whenever he has an episode. 

Do they own any sentimental objects? why are they sentimental?

Mads doesn't really attribute value or sentiment to objects and he doesn't keep many of them around. He's terrified, somehow, of the value you might give to something and the impact it would have if he ever loses it. He's a minimalist aesthetic lover, and he doesn't want to cherish objects or souvenirs for the sake of self preservation. However, he will be deeply happy if someone ever gifts him something... But still, there's this line of attachment he's afraid to cross. 

Do they play any instruments? if not, would they like to learn one?

He doesn't play any! He never had the occasion to learn, but definitely, cello would have been his choice if he ever had the privilege to learn music. From the profound sound, deep and intense, the melancholic melodies, it's truly his favorite instrument.

#⌇playing all the aces on the table ( 𝙈𝙚𝙢𝙚 ) #⌇headcanon ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #⌇character study ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #; first one and of course I go for my baby #; Mads relationship with objects is really difficult :(

[distopea]

More Random/Useless Muse Facts

Did they believe in Santa?: Not very much as a kid. He was quick to move on, his childhood wasn't the happiest and he didn't have much occasion to celebrate Christmas after his mother's death (he was 7). Christmas is not important for Mads.

Were they a dinosaur or rock kid?: A little soldiers kid.

Bugs or slimy critters?: None. He prefers dogs.

Do they fidget? How?: He sometimes fidget whenever he feels in an uncomfortable position or experience a social awkwardness. Usually he wants to move from his spot, he will cross his arms and he will make sure that his hair doesn't fall in front of his eyes.

What were they frequently in trouble for as a child?: Yes, often. He was the type of kid to be rebellious and to defy the rules. He was constantly missing classes and his brother would come along. He was also punching kids whenever they were attacking someone weaker.

What underwear do they like?: Generally boxers, the classic.

Designs on clothing or no?: He have just a few shops he visits whenever he wants to get something. He takes cares of his clothes and he doesn't own much. Though, they are good quality fabric, the brand doesn't matter.

Birthmarks?: Nothing.

Do they have good self control?: Back in the days, absolutely not, but with his army discipline and his change of temper, I would say yes. However, it requires him an effort, because his nature would push him to break his calm.

Favorite franchise?: Not really.

Do they re-enact scenarios in the shower?: In his head, a lot. He will think about what he should have done and how he wishes he would have react (basically with violence instead of calm).

Do they tell the waiter that their order is wrong?: Yes, he can be picky so even for a butchered coffee, he will say something.

Stairs or elevator?: Both, he doesn't mind or care.

Are they an exaggerator when telling stories?: No, never, he's very factual whenever. he talks and will rarely let his emotions get the better of his statement.

tagged by: @nezumivc103221

#⌇playing all the aces on the table ( 𝙈𝙚𝙢𝙚 ) #⌇broken soldier ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 | modern verse ) #⌇headcanon ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #; I wanted to do this meme for his modern verse because I crave to use it more 😩 #; funny how Mads tries to always keep himself under control

[distopea]

Has Mads, in either verse, ever had to put a comrade out of their misery? ( Or even a soldier he didn't know the name of? ) Be it on the battlefield or in any other situation? If yes, how did it affect him? If not, was it among his fears? What does he think of others who may have had to do that? Does he see it as a reasonable option? Would he condone it, or damn it?

@nezumivc103221

In any of his verses, Mads has never put someone out of their misery due to a fatal injury on the battlefield. He has killed soldiers during the battle, but he has never had the guts or mercy to actually put an end to someone's life like that. 

Watching his comrades dying and suffering was a highly traumatic experience that has profoundly changed Mads and his connection with life. He felt himself frozen and powerless in those situations, and he couldn't actually be the hand guiding those men to death. He had held hands, bodies, he had tried to have reassuring words, he had picked up medals and letters, photos as well... But that was the only form of support he could have ever offered. He had a very profound respect for life, and killing someone, even unknown, in a moment of absolute weakness feels totally abnormal and monstrous for Mads. 

He had always feared to see someone he knew dying by his side. That's a general thought and feeling among soldiers. With the army culture, companionship is often pushed very far, so it's quite terrible to lose someone you knew and trusted deeply; someone you trusted with your whole life. That's potentially why he would be profoundly resentful to those taking the last moments of those soldiers. Even through fear and pain, Mads isn't among those who believe it's a good thing to have someone quickening the process. For Mads, no one can die peacefully on the battlefield, and a friendly hand wouldn't save the day. 

For the anecdote, in his broken soldier verse, someone actually killed one of his friends to put him out of his misery. He had been profoundly traumatized by the look in his eyes. It felt as if the few precious minutes he had left had been stolen, and he often dreamt about it. 

#; nezumivc103221 #⌇headcanon ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #⌇character study ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #cw: death #; quite traumatic topic for sure for Mads #; he legit can't do that at all

[distopea]

Meta + relationships for Mads

@nezumivc103221

Meta + word headcanon meme

It's quite difficult for Mads to build relationships in general. 

He suffers from multiple traumatizing experiences that he has never been able to fully face or handle at all. He believes that he has a proper grasp on his life, but most of the time, he sabotages himself regarding potential relationships or simply getting involved with people. 

Basically, Mads is terrified of showing his true colors. He's not at ease with what lays underneath what he shows to the others, and he thinks that, the moment he exposes himself, people will reject him. He's not comfortable with the man he is, not even sexually, so of course, he naturally pushes people away. He will pretend it's a form of protection for them, but it's mostly a form of protection for himself. 

He's a lonely individual in many ways, but still thought, very human. Building relationships is possible, but it requires a lot of patience and not too much expectation from his partners. He might have a decent approach, he might even fall in love, but the whole concept of relationship and courting is a foreign language he doesn't speak at all and the slight pressure might set him off. 

To summarize, a lonely man in quest of bonds, but quite afraid to ruin them all of the time. 

#; nezumivc103221 #⌇character study ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #⌇headcanon ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #; so yeah he's a puppy

[distopea]

| blank template / from @cantuscorvi

Working for all his verses except the historical ones ✨

#⌇headcanon ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #⌇character study ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #; the texture is rough for Mads #; his element would be dry earth 'cause that man is full of cracks and trauma #; really love that template it's so cool

[distopea]

For Mads, getting himself engaged in a relationship is a double-edged sword. He’s quite a decent person when it comes to sharing intimacy with someone, but it’s definitely a challenge to crack a few parts of his personality. He’s both the reason why he’s unlucky and why he’s lucky as well, but by his own standards. 

Mads doesn’t need help regarding his PTSD, but support. It’s quite a different approach and it wouldn’t work from one person to another. There’s a thin and indescriptible line between those things, and it can be easily crossed and perceived as dangerous or intrusive on his side. He knows it’s his own perception, and he tries to work on those issues, but at the same time it requires him to explain his state of mind and he struggles with that, as anyone with a profound trauma regarding his past, his childhood and his years as a soldier. Usually, his relationships are doomed because of that; he’s incapable of stating the difference nor to have the patience and words, and he’s less in the capacity to properly express it when his partners need it. 

When the relationship reaches that state, usually he breaks up. 

#⌇headcanon ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #⌇character study ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #; that whole relationship thing makes me muse a lot it seems #; his mental state is so complexe to grasp sometimes #; but I think I can see it better over the years

[distopea]

Did Mads and Mika inherit their father's traits? Are there parts of them that they deny, ignore or fear because they can see their father reflected in their own actions or thoughts?

@nezumivc103221

Among these two, Mika is definitely the one who's closer to his mother, Selene, in terms of attitude and behavior, even physically. She was a sunny woman with a high positivity in general, very much inclined to help people. Her eyes were like Mika's, her hair and complexion too. 

From his father, he carries almost nothing, if perhaps a few traits here and there that give clues to his origins, and the blurry memory of a man of strong violence and abuse. He was blessed to somehow forget a bit who that man was, and he has never picked up on his attitude either, simply because he has always tried to help Mads carry on through his trauma. He's only stubborn and secretive in the end, a bit like his father Elys was... But other than that, Mika feels utterly different. 

For Mads, it's much more complicated. He has the sensation of carrying all the flaws his father ever bore, and it's definitely hard to endure it. Since a very young age, everyone who has known his father had always claimed he was the spitting image of Elys. Same dark straight hair, same intense eyes, same nose, same shape of lips and same jaw... Physically, Elys was everything he is today. 

From his father, alas for Mads, he has the sensation of being forever tainted with his anger issues, his lack of trust, his guarded nature and his profound loneliness. He doesn't wish to be like him, but he finds a reflection of himself inside his memories, and it's quite increasing his trauma and his inability to move on. 

Elys could have been someone decent; a part of Mads knows it. He was a man who snapped and got broken inside for different issues, and more than once Mads felt like he was standing and walking on the same path. 

#; nezumivc103221 #⌇headcanon ( 𝙈𝙞𝙠𝙖 ) #⌇character study ( 𝙈𝙞𝙠𝙖 ) #⌇headcanon ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #⌇character study ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #; I guess Mika could be more like his father if he had better memories of him #; but it's Mads' burden alas #; and quite a heavy one

[distopea]

💦 - mannerisms that your muse has when they’re shy or nervous

💢 - mannerisms that your muse has when they’re angry or sad

🙌 - mannerisms that your muse has when they’re extremely happy @Mads

@nvrcmplt

It's probably a meme I have reposted somewhere

💦 - mannerisms that your muse has when they’re shy or nervous

Mads doesn't really experience shyness but he can be nervous without any doubt, and it's often showing.

His behaviors betray him with the way he's going to cross his arms during a conversation, his eyes always wandering and looking at the various corners of the room, gathering intel regarding the possibilities of escape. Nervousness triggers his fear of being locked and trapped, so naturally he tends to be certain that he has a way out. He's also far more snapping during the conversation, and quite sarcastic.

💢 - mannerisms that your muse has when they’re angry or sad

He's a quiet wrathful man. Whenever Mads is angry, he wouldn't be the kind of person to voice it for a long moment, nor to scream too hard at first, or to immediately be aggressive. His anger is blooming quietly. It's usually something that irritates him. He appears very withdrawn and doesn't talk much, but his body language shows that he's not comfortable and not very inclined to continue the conversation.

However, at some point his anger might explode. It's usually very brutal, violent either, and he wants to avoid that side of him that he doesn't control much.

Sadness is harder to perceive with Mads, because it equals a similiar state of quietness. He won't voice it though, he keeps his emotions for himself. Though, he looks more tortured and would find a way to stay away from people and withraw into himself more.

🙌 - mannerisms that your muse has when they’re extremely happy

Once again, he's not the kind of muse to explode and totally change whenever he's having a change of emotions but he's certainly far more smiling. It's warm, soft, he's more inclined to joke as well and will be easier to approach. His state of happiness feels like you're perceiving something you have never seen before, a certain warmness he has, quite imperceptible at first, but comforting, gentle.

He appears more vulnerable, somehow, and exposed. He also feels more exposed, but usually, during that particular state of happiness, Mads is necessarily surrounded by people he trusts.

#; nvrcmplt #⌇playing all the aces on the table ( 𝙈𝙚𝙢𝙚 ) #⌇headcanon ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #⌇character study ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #; thank you for the questions about him! #; I liked this one very mucho

[distopea]

Mads’ lake of patience with idiots is very much simple to explain.

When you have a dumb ass of a brother, all of your patience go there. The rest of it? Inexistant. Breathing near him will give him hiccups and gags.



#⌇character study ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #⌇headcanon ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #; sometimes Mads see some people and he’s like: don’t inflect me the pain to talk with them #; worse is when people are like teasing dkdnfk #; god he hates that if he decides that he doesn’t want you around xkdnxkf #; cold ass bitchy

[distopea]

💍 – What style engagement ring would your muse like best? What is their ring size? //for Mads 😁

@nezumivc103221

shipping meme ooc (let’s say I don’t accept anymore, I have waaay too many to honor)

“Fuck off”

WELL. Let’s try to answer this without Mads muffling me, because he doesn’t want to come out since last time but it will be pretty short I’m sorry gfsyd

It’s impossible for me to tell what style he would like, I guess his partner would have to settle from something on their side, because Mads is anti-wedding in so many points, and he doesn’t like jewels either. He’s quite not very inclined to expose that he’s married either, not because he wouldn’t be faithful and such, but he hates the concept of wedding so much that it feels like wearing acid and its a symbol he dislikes profoundly. I think he will never wear the ring in the end, he might keep it somewhere safe, but it’s a waste of money and it would be hurtful perhaps for his partner...  

And he doesn’t know at all his ring side since he doesn’t wear rings in general, so I probably something for long and slender fingers? 

#; nezumivc103221 #⌇playing all the aces on the table ( 𝙈𝙚𝙢𝙚 ) #⌇headcanon ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #; he's pissed off ugysdyuf #; he's going to hide again RIP #; but yeah like impossible for him to wear a ring #; even more for a wedding related thing

[distopea]

You may offense Mads in many way, but if you bring him back a cup of coffee with milk, sugar, and other sweet things to cover the BITTERNESS of the beverage he loves so much... You just made yourself a new enemy. 

#⌇voice of the navy ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 | ic ) #⌇headcanon ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #; whenever he sees a Starbucks coffee he has spasms #; who ever invented fucking coffee with caramel and cream?? #; who are these barbarian folks??

[distopea]

META + brotherhood ( Mads & Mika )

@cantuscorvi

send   META   +   a   word   ,   a   name   ,   or   phrase   and   i   will   write   a   head  canon   based   off   of   this   !!! (not accepting anymore)

Mads and Mika brotherhood is probably the most unbreakable and important bond they have. 

Both of them have reached a level of trust, communication and loyalty due to their lives that can’t be matched. They have endured the violence of their father, the death of their mother, and for a long long time, they could only count on each other. They faced the world together, and I doubt their bond can ever find its limits. 

They complete each other in a way that makes them a whole whenever they are together. Mads is drowning under the pressure of his crimes, the memories of his actions, and his past recklessness. Mika was always there to be his balance, a cheerful man with an optimistic vision of life, but also capable of understanding the consequences of serious actions, the deepness of loneliness and the ghosts haunting his brother. 

The two of them are dependent on one another, yet, they are still able to exist and evolve without the influence of the other one. They are colliding stars from time to time, pushing each other to get back on track when they need to.

#; cantuscorvi #⌇playing all the aces on the table ( 𝙈𝙚𝙢𝙚 ) #⌇headcanon ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #⌇headcanon ( 𝙈𝙞𝙠𝙖 ) #; they exist in my head and other writing for so long ;-; #; I really love their bond #; thank you for this question #⌇somewhere on the moon ( 𝙌𝙪𝙚𝙪𝙚 )

[distopea]

Mads aesthetic of space, room, decoration and life can be associated to a very minimalistic appeal. 

Due to his poor childhood, his army experience, and his general need of space, Mads doesn’t like to collect nor keep objects. He wouldn’t want to have collections of any kind, since he has never found any form of appeal in opulence. He finds himself happier in a minimalist area rather than having his vision clogged by numerous items - it can be suffocating. 

For example, Mads wouldn’t collect more than two bottles of the same kind of alcohol, or wine. He would only have one watch and use it all the time until it breaks, unless he receives a gift. He doesn’t own any plant, and doesn’t have much frames on his walls either.

#⌇headcanon ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #⌇character study ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 ) #⌇broken soldier ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 | modern verse ) #⌇The Rook ( 𝙈𝙖𝙙𝙨 | art thief AU ) #; it works in most of his AU tbh #; Mads doesn't like to possess item #; unless he gives them a certain value #; even as an art thief he doesn't KEEP the arts #; he only does it to mess with his father