#𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 / kieran + evan .
𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 , 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟓 ; 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘦𝘷𝘦 ›› 𝐊𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐍 + 𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐍 .
kieran could count the amount of times he’d been over to this side of town , in his life , on ONE hand . most were because of his grandparents — on his mam’s side — taking him & liv to tea with their friends , while one or two were because the quieter , smoother , wider streets were better to skate down at night . at least until the garda’s car pulled up at the end of the road & flashed their lights , sending four boys scattering back off to the older part of town ; back to where they BELONGED . though there was always ONE thing they always had in common , kieran had always hated it . there weren’t many places where kieran walsh could go without receiving at least a few double takes , disapproving stares , quiet whispers that were all the same at this point and — his least favourite — looks of PITY . he was USE to it . he had , after all , endured nearly eighteen years of it once the clock struck 12 am tonight . & maybe if it was just the PEOPLE that lived here looking down their noses at him , wondering why samuel walsh’s son was on THEIR side of town — far from the plaster speckled terraced houses & narrow streets cobbled — he’d be able to brush it off & not let it get to him too much . but the whole damned place made him feel small . every inch of every street they passed as he'd driven into the neighbourhood was a stark reminder that he didn’t belong there . that everything he was wasn’t GOOD enough , & never would be . if he’d wanted to be made to feel THAT small , he would have stayed the hell home & seen the new year in with his father . but he’d promised . . . he’d promised the ONE person that he’d never be able to break a promise with that he’d be there . that he’d come to declan mccarthy’s new years eve party . it was a JOKE really . he knew damn well that declan didn’t want him there just as much as he didn’t want to be there . the guy had barely acknowledged his existence when he’d shown up LATE to mass on christmas eve & found evan & him standing in the entrance way of the church . it was only because of evan that he , conan , ruairi & adam , had been allowed to step through the wrought iron gate that led up to the mccarthy house . it was only because of evan that he , conan , ruairi & adam , were here in the first place . evan connely & her bloody crystallised eyes . she was IMPOSSIBLE to say no to when those endless blue seas glistened with the begging of a jutted bottom lip . she could make him do anything . all she had to do was ASK . & if it hadn't been clear before . . . the fact he was sat on the ledge of a window seat that overlooked declan mccarthy’s back garden with hundreds of people crammed into what may as well be a manor & fucking RAP music damaging his hearing — along with a few of his brain cells — was proof enough . evan connely could get him to do anything . especially when it felt like he'd hardly seen her .
not that he could say that he’d seen that much of her tonight . they’d caught her when they'd first arrived , but declan had been quick to drag her off again . disappearing off into the crowd with an arm around her shoulder that had made kieran’s stomach twist & conan’s brow to raise as they’d caught each others eye after he’d FINALLY pulled his gaze away from the gap in the crowd evan had vanished into a while ago . “ don't fucking start . ” conan’s hands had raised in defence before he’d lifted the edge of his beer to his lips , answering before he took a swig , “ i didn’t say anyt’ing , mate . ” he didn't have to . it hadn’t gotten much better as the clock ticked closer & closer to midnight & kieran’s patience for swallowing back the discomfort of hands upon his arm as girls smiled up at him wore thin . glimpses of evan were all ANY of them seemed to get & kieran was beginning to think it was all they were going to get . at least until a careful , quiet nudge of elbows helped zero in on an approaching figure . he wasn't use to it yet . . . the change of hair . once he would have been able to pick her out of a crowd not to much bigger than that of the one that was in declan’s living room . but with her curls straightened , she could have really been ANY small brunette from the back . it had been how he'd be stuck talking to a few of them after he’d mistaken them for her . but as she moved through the crowd towards the spot the boys had designated as their own since the start of the night , it was hard to believe he could have mistaken ANYONE as her . a beer bottle missing only a few sips , & kept mostly to keep others from offering him a drink , balanced in his grasp as he lifted his chin up ever so slightly in a small wordless greeting , “ a real proper hostess tonight i see . if i didn't know any better i’d t’ink you were born for t'e role . ” a teasing tone had crept its way into his voice even as his eyes scanned over her features . searching for the tell-tale signs that maybe the role she was playing was getting a bit too much . “ but since i DO — ” he trailed off as he offered out his bottle of beer to her via the neck , “ if you need us ‘lot t' help spring ya , just say t’e word . ”
14 notes
·
View notes
𝐊 & 𝐄'𝐒 𝐀𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 ; 𝙫𝙖𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙚'𝙨 𝙙𝙖𝙮 ›› 𝐊𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐍 + 𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐍 .
it was what they’d both needed ; time together where it felt as if the world consisted of them & them ALONE . & though it hadn’t gone exactly how kieran had imagined it — when he’d decided , less than 12 hours after he’d said goodbye to evan at the airport , that waiting a whole week to spend time with her was ridiculous — he couldn’t say he would have really wanted it any other way . his plan of surprising her in new york after all had had to work in around her job with saint valentine . work that would have likely , & understandably , kept them from being able to pretend they were the only two people on the planet . but her coming back , her walking in the door when he’d expected ruairi , had meant that there would be no schedule . no interruptions . no counting down till she had to go . neither one of them would have to feel guilty about leaving their phones on or turning them off . they were free to sink back into a world that was theirs & theirs alone & make up for time lost . it was SELFISH really . but then again . . . could it really be all that selfish when evan had wanted it JUST as much ? & she had once , after all , TOLD him that he could be selfish with her . & who was he to go against what she wanted ? especially after what they’d both been through . no . . . this wasn’t selfish at all . it was EXACTLY what they’d both needed . & exactly what they’d done after they’d finally managed to coax ruairi , along with ziggy , out the front door of their apartment . because even if the sharp edges of the passed few months had been smoothed by a gentle touch , as hands had smoothed wild curls , & gentle reassurances , spoken definitley under breath . there was really only one thing that could soften them entirely ; time . & with valentine’s day , a whole stretch of days FREE ahead of them & just the two of them to worry about . . . time was all they had .
phones had lay forgotten & lost since the evening before & for the first time in a LONG time , neither kieran or evan slipped from between white sheets . not even as the sun began its descent on a cloudless winter day behind drawn sheer curtains . why would they when all they needed was right there . kieran couldn’t think of any better way of spending what was meant to be a day about love wrapped up & completely lost within the only girl he’d ever loved — the only girl he WOULD ever love — reminding her of just that in the form of murmured words pressed against the warmth of her skin & deft , careful fingers that traced a name that would soon belong to her over every curve & line of her body . because even if she’d only believed it for a moment , he wasn’t going anywhere . not now . not ever . she was his . just as he was hers . but even if the two of them could have easily spent the next week lost beneath a world of white . only surfacing when they had to for small moments . it WAS valentine’s day & there had still been a booking — that kieran had never quite gotten around to cancelling — at a small , intimate restaurant not too far a walk away from their apartment building . . . venturing back into the world for a little while at least couldn’t be TOO bad . at least not when it meant an excuse to see evan in a pretty dress . his phone had been found for a brief check in as soon as he’d heard the shower switch on in the bathroom , & though his eyes still scanned the screen as his elbows rested against the kitchen countertop half an hour or more later , all it took was the smallest movement out of the corner of his eye for him to pocket it away once more into his leather jacket as he straightened . hands gilding across the marble countertop as his brows slowly crept upward beneath slightly tamed curls , “ well i was right — ” he started as his fingers tapped against the countertop a couple times , “ getting you up & out of bed was well wort’ it . because , don’t get me wrong , you in only a white sheet might be one of my favourite t’ings you wear but t’is — ” his head began to shake lightly as he let out a low whistle before he pushed away from the kitchen island & turned towards her , allowing his eyes to glide over her head to toe before they rose once more to meet hers , “ t’ink everyone’s gonna know i’m t’e luckiest guy for certain tonight . ”
3 notes
·
View notes
𝐊 & 𝐄'𝐒 𝐀𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 ; 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙚𝙨 & 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 ›› 𝐊𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐍 + 𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐍 .
EIGHT ; that was the total amount of days that was meant to stretch between them before they found their way back to one another . 1 day over a week . which in retrospect , was only a few days more than the five they’d managed almost every week for the first year they were together . & FAR less than the weeks they’d been apart when the found had gone on their north american tour . they should have been able to manage it easily . in any other situation , they probably could had . but with the past few weeks & their mediocre parting at the airport hanging like a grey cloud , eight days felt impossible . eight days felt like it would drag on FOREVER . especially considering all it seemed to take was 6 hours apart for kieran to miss her to the point of multiple voice messages he refused to listen back to the morning after she’d left . because sure he’d been frustrated with her ; more for not telling him sooner that three days had become eight than anything else , but all that it had taken for him to get over that was a 10 minute conversation with the boys over their first drink of the night .
she might have made a mistake , but mate — i get why you’re annoyed but it’s
not like she did it on purpose .
& it’s not like you’ve been exactly faultless the past few weeks .
na , you’ve been fucking insufferable .
he missed her . she missed him , & it was his own damned fault . & there was really only ONE way to bring all of to an end — the guilt , the regret , the hurt , the missing each other — he needed to make those eight days the original three they had only ever planned to be apart . because even if he’d convinced himself that it was only a day , that valentine’s day could be celebrated on ANY day of the year & not just the 14th , he didn’t want to miss it . he didn’t want to spend the day without the one person that had made him damn well believe in what the whole day stood for . he didn’t want to spend another minute without evan , knowing that he had EVERY opportunity to put this whole thing behind them with a few simple clicks . because with the worst of the album prep completed , studio time becoming far more scheduled & an offical date to start recording not set until earlier next month , there was time in which kieran could easily take advantage of . there was NO excuse . so the morning after he’d left her at the airport — regret thick in his throat & guilt churning his stomach — he booked a flight . new york would be the back drop of their second valentine’s day together .
at least . . . it would be if everything went to plan . surprises , after all , always carried the risk of being ruined . whether it was a change in venue last minute , people simply not being where they were supposed to be at the right time or just having the timing just THAT bit off , surprises could always run into snags . but with evan’s manager of sorts on board , kieran was CERTAIN that there was every chance his plan would go off without a hitch . he’d take ziggy over to ruairi’s that morning to spend the next few days with him before he & evan both came back on the thursday she was meant to land . then he’d go to the airport & catch a mid-day flight so he could make it to new york mid-afternoon to get together the rest of a surprise before he FINALLY surprised evan that night backstage after she finished up shooting the show she was booked for . then they’d go back to the hotel & fix everything so they could spend valentine’s day the way they had always planned ; wrapped up completely in their own little world without a single outside distraction . all he had to do now though , after his duffle bag was packed & ready to go behind the back of the couch , was tell ziggy that leaving him behind was unfortunately part of the plan . “ look — i know t'at you miss her just as much as i do , but sometimes t'e world is unfair , kid , & we can’t ALL do what we want just because we want t’ . or just because we're cute . ” his voice was solemn as he carefully threaded ziggy’s legs one at a time through his harness , “ but your uncle ruairi promised t' facetime us a couple times while we’re gone . so it’s not like you won’t see eit’er of us . we’ll be back before you know it because really — ” he trailed off as he clipped the harness securely round the corgi & allowed endeared eyes to fall upon the blank , tongue lolling expression that starred up at him hopefully , “ you have no idea what’s going on & you’ll forget about bot’ of us as soon as ruairi gives you a treat . ” he patted him upon the head before he straightened to his full height , “ speaking of , where IS your uncle , hmmm ? ” ziggy scooted out from between his legs with a bark in a response that caused kieran's head to nod in agreement , “ you’re right . he’s exactly like you’re mot’er . never on bloody time . he should ‘ave been ‘ere 10 — ” but complaining cut off as the echo of a key in the door moved through the quiet apartment & prompted ziggy to scramble against the surface of the floor , as the carpeted floor of their bedroom was traded for wood , in a blur of fluff as he went barking through the apartment to the front door to greet ruairi as he finally arrived to pick both kieran & ziggy up , “ ‘bout bloody fucking time you show up — ” kieran called out as he took one final glance around his & evan's bedroom to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything , “ i wanted t' be out of here 10 minutes ago . ” & upon tapping the pockets of his bomber , he moved out the door & down the hall to the open kitchen & living space ziggy had vanished off into moments ago , “ t’ough maybe it's a good t’ing you’re late because maybe if you’d been on time i’d ask why t'e HELL you — ” his sentence trailed off the same time his footsteps did . it wasn't ruairi that had arrived . a crease appeared between his brow as his lips parted , “ evan ? ” her name fell from his lips , surprise & confusion laced through the four letter word , “ what are you doing ‘ere ? —- you’re meant t' be in new york . ”
9 notes
·
View notes
𝐖𝐄𝐃 𝐅𝐄𝐁 𝟗𝐭𝐡 , 𝐊 & 𝐄'𝐒 𝐀𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 ; 𝘢 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘬𝘦𝘱𝘵 ›› 𝐊𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐍 + 𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐍 .
they’d always had bad timing . it was something they’d joked about endlessly . & you’d think after over 1 year , approaching 2 , together that they’d have left that bad habit LONG behind them . but with two careers that demanded long hours & one person that had a habit of falling into a pattern that bordered on obsessive . . . their habit of bad timing still seemed to not be able to be shaken . kieran had thought they’d gotten better , thought that they’re worked through everything that lent to the habit wrecking havoc , but after the past few days bad timing still seemed to be able to hook its claws in & turn what he’d thought was a smooth relationship into ��something ROCKY . because even if it was HIM — him & his inability to know how to juggle two important things in his life — at the root of it all , the timing of the WEEKS of him putting evan onto the back burner catching up to them was far from good . for either of them . if it had been any OTHER time , kieran wouldn’t have dared to leave evan to wake up to an empty bed . he would have stayed . he would have stayed put in the warmth , a stark difference to the ice he’d woken up to still sitting upon his chest , created by a hand slipped within his . he would have stayed until her eyes fluttered open & he could forget what it was like to see ANGER boiling within them . he would have stayed until he’d apologised over & over & over again for making her miss him even if he slept in the same bed every night . he would have stayed until she believed that moving in with him wasn’t something to regret . because he WOULD do better . he would BE better . just like he’d told her that night in new york when he’d promised to never dismiss her feelings . but with only one day left to put the final touches on what was essentially an album pitch , kieran had only lingered to watch her lashes flutter against her cheeks as sleep still held her under before wordlessly pressing a gentle kiss upon her forehead & carefully untwined their fingers as he slipped away to leave her once more . because even if he’d wanted to stay . & he'd wanted to , more than ANYTHING . he couldn’t . he couldn’t do ANYTHING to even begin to fix what had been torn open on monday night because just as he’d only had one day , so had evan . & where he was bound for a disclosure meeting room in manchester , she was bound for NEW YORK . . . for three days . their timing was as bad as it could ever get . he HATED the idea of her leaving when things were still rocky . because even if the boiling anger that had simmered in her eyes had faded , even if she’d said hi as he’d walked through the door the earliest he had in weeks , even if she still lingered within reach & did reach from him as he slipped into bed beside her , NOTHING was fixed . the ANGER had dissipated . but the hurt he'd caused was still there . it was unmissable . & it churned his stomach every time he remembered it was because of HIM . but she was leaving . & nothing would change that . so all he could do for now , until she got back , was make certain she KNEW her words hadn’t been ignored .
taking her to the airport had ALWAYS been the plan . it had been one of the MAIN reasons behind the found’s official second album meeting being scheduled for 5pm that wednesday evening . he’d wanted to take her . he’d wanted to hang around & keep her company until she was called to board . he’d wanted to be able to say goodbye to her , like she had for him , as she jetted off to chase her own dream . he'd WANTED to be there . & he still wanted to . because even if the past few weeks had made evan believe otherwise , NOTHING had changed for him . this was still a two way street . he still wanted to be with her . he still wanted to make a life with her . he still wanted to support her as vehemently as she supported him . & he was still going to be the one to take her to the airport . at least , as long as she WANTED him to . maybe he should have asked her last night , when he'd gotten home to her packing up the last bits into her suitcase ; do you still want me to take you to the airport in the morning ? but he hadn’t . he hadn't been able to risk the possible chance of hearing her say NO . he hadn't wanted to know in case she told him she didn’t want him there with her , that she'd rather go alone than go with him , AGAIN . it had already cut him deep enough on monday night , he wasn't sure if he could stomach it again just yet . not that hearing it that morning would make it any less easier to swallow . but as far as he was concerned , the difference between asking night before & that morning were two COMPLETELY different things . the night before could lead her to believe that he was trying to get out it . that he was once again going to put her off for a final chance to get everything in order for his meeting . while the morning . . . well , he MIGHT have been the morning bird out of the two of them . but there was really only ONE reason why he’d get out of bed at 3am ; there was something IMPORTANT happening . so even if she DID end up saying no , he hoped she'd leave knowing he’d WANTED to take her . just as he'd planned — just as he'd promised .
but even if he WANTED to take her , it still didn't make actually getting up at 3am any easier . NO ONE should have to get up at 3am . but especially not when they hadn't gotten a decent night sleep before hand . so when evan's alarm quietly began to build & fill the still darkened room , he wanted to beg for a little more time . he wanted to roll over onto his other side & draw her back against him as he mumbled a sleepy ; just 10 more minutes , into the crook of her neck . but two days had passed & still he hadn't been able to be the one to reach for her first . so even if in his mind he was reaching for her , the only thing his fingers curled around were cool sheets beneath his pillow as he let a heavy breath slip from his lips as his face turned into soft fabric . just 10 more minutes . whether it really was 10 minutes though , he wasn't entirely sure . all he knew was by the time he FINALLY pushed back the covers & pushed himself up from the bed , trying to rub sleep from his features as he headed to ‘his’ side of the cupboard , the bathroom door was closed . luckily the golden glow emitted from the crack beneath the door was just enough light for him to swap out a pair of pyjamas for a grey jumper & , if squinted eyes were enough to judge a dark colour , a pair of black pants . another jacket would be needed before they left , that much he knew . but for now , he only cared about ONE thing . because there was only ONE thing that could make a 3am wake up call on little sleep seem semi-okay . & as he padded into the kitchen , another small set tapping behind him , he flicked on the extractor fan light to make it easier to navigate the buttons of a coffee grinder & a drip filter coffee machine . a breath passed from his lips as he came to rest with his elbows against the island counter top before his head fell forward & his fingers raked through a mess of bedhead curls as his eyes fell closed for a brief moment . today was going to be a long day . if he was SMART , or sensible , he’d come back to the apartment after he left evan & go back to sleep until the meeting at 5 . but he knew the likelihood of that happening was minimal . he'd more likely come back & go straight into the studio at home . both because he was sure there were some last minute things he could do & because he’d need a distraction . because after today was over . . . he’d be on more of a schedule . he’d have more free time on his hands . & evan wouldn't be there . his shoulders lifted in a heavy breath as his fingers curled into the hair at the back of his head . this was all a mess . but his mind couldn’t linger too long on that thought because with a tapping of paws against the wooden floor , ziggy’s receding paws back towards the bedroom was sign on only ONE thing . one person . & as his head lifted , his gaze settled upon evan . a small moments breath passed before his lips parted , “ morning , ” sleep still wrapped itself around the already softly spoken greeting as he shifted to let his palms meet the cool surface of the island counter before a finger began to tap a quiet rhythm against it , “ i , uhh —- put on some coffee if you want some . now or —- or i can make you a thermos for on t'e way if you've got t’ings t’ get ready still . ”
15 notes
·
View notes
𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐇𝐐 , 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐈𝐎 𝟒 ; 𝘧𝘪𝘹𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 & 𝘪𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 ›› 𝐊𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐍 + 𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐍 .
five , nearly six , months kieran had been filling his days by playing stay-at-home-dad . & , if he was honest , he’d loved every single minute of it . 2021 , after all , had been ANOTHER big year for the found as a band & for kieran as a musician ; they had still been running on the high of a #1 debut album & , on the career front at least , they’d had a successful first american tour . it had been GOOD to wind down . it had been good to FINALLY slow down enough to truly process EVERYTHING that had happened . to figure out just how his life worked now that more people did a double glance over their shoulder when he walked passed . when such a simple thing as taking ziggy for a walk was somehow considered NEWS . how he no longer had to check his bank account on a weekly basis to make sure he had enough to live . but maybe , most important of all , the nearly six month break had given kieran a chance to settle into what a YEAR with EVAN could really look like ; what it was like to wake up to each other every single morning & then be the last person they saw before they went to sleep . & then , in the last three months , what it was like to LIVE together . truly live together & not simply have a designated drawer in each others apartment like they’d had for the past year that was only filled every alternate weekend — if they were lucky . now , kieran couldn’t remember what had been his & what had been hers . it had felt seamless . but then again , was it really a surprise ? evan had ALWAYS fitted into his life seamlessly . even long before either of them had ever thought they’d even make it to admitting their feelings out loud to each other , let alone believing they’d one day be moving in together & planning a FUTURE . but life did have a funny way of making the unbelievable believable . & as far as kieran had been concerned , he couldn’t have thought of a better end to 2021 . nor a better start to 2022 . because if 2021 was a year to remember , 2022 was certainly going to be a year to write about . their first year living together . a two year anniversary later in the year . evan’s new studio space & dream coming to life in the same city as his own . multiple festivals lined up throughout the year & an impending sophomore album . . . it was ALL happening for them . & it was really no surprise that as evan put the final touches on her studio & jobs surely began to roll in as everyone returned from the holiday season , pulling her away from the apartment & away from spending her days with him & ziggy , kieran began to itch for something to do . because no matter HOW much he’d joked about just never going back & becoming a ‘kept man’ , they both knew that would NEVER happen . he loved music too much — he loved being able to CREATE music too much to ever give it up . & no matter how much he’d loved the last near six months , there was no denying he was going a bit stir-crazy . london had been different . he’d been HAPPY to simply spend his days walking ziggy , trying to pack evan’s boxes in the most evan way he could & making it so evan ALWAYS came home to something cooking in the kitchen . but being in manchester , knowing disclosure was on a short number of blocks away & having access to his music all around him . . . he’d already traded one of the two walks he took ziggy on for time spent in his home studio . pattering about on the keyboard to test out possible new sounds or plucking the beginnings of a chorus that could one day make it into a song . so when the time came to go back to disclosure . . . he’d NEVER been more excited about a meeting with their whole team . even when it to start talks about their sophomore album .
A SOPHOMORE ALBUM . it was quite possibly the most daunting thing a band or musician could go through . but when you have a #1 debut album under your belt . . . well , it’s quite possibly the perfect recipe for making an age old saying ring true ; your second album is never as good as your first . a saying otherwise known as second album syndrome . a syndrome that had come for a band that all four boys had once idolised ; the stone roses . a syndrome that had been brought up on the FIRST day & twisted kieran’s stomach into a knot he hadn’t felt since he’d heard the last ever play through of their first album before it was set for its final release date . he’d thought he’d gotten passed this ; being nervous when it came to music . the past two years had cemented the fact that this was what he'd been BORN to do . music was what he was good at . it was how he thought , it was how he loved , it was how he lived . music was WHO he was . but maybe THAT was what made the fear of second album syndrome all that more TERRIFYING . the found’s music was tied so closely to who he was that if it didn’t WORK . . . then what did it say about him ? he hadn’t had to prove himself since they’d released their first album & really , it was quite possible that maybe their debut album was just a stroke of luck . that album , after all , had been made up of nearly 22 years of his life & six years of PINING for a girl he never thought he’d ever get a chance to be with . what did he have to write about now ? two years of success & a year of a relationship that made him the happiest he’d EVER been ? they were hardly the type of subjects their fans would want to hear written about — no . . . no . it ��WOULDN’T happen to them . kieran wouldn’t let it . conan could joke about evan needing to break up with him to get some decent songs out of him all he wanted . he still had some old songs tucked away that never made it onto the first album that he thought , after some tweaking , could make the cut this time & he’d never stopped scribbling down ideas in that nearing FULL leather bound notebook he'd carried around for years . no , their sophomore album wouldn't succumb to the second album curse . not if kieran had anything to do with it . he’d run himself into the ground before he let that happen .
the only thing was someone needed to remind him that he didn’t have to have it all figured out within the first few weeks of returning to the same studio they’d recorded their first album in . hell , he didn’t even need to have it all figured out within the first few MONTHS . nothing had been set in stone . mikey had booked out a block of weeks at the end of january & the beginning of february only to let the boys get back into it . to give them some time to play around with ideas they may have gotten over the break & begin to think about what direction they might take the album in before any REAL talks about the details their sophomore album happened . but kieran had always been a perfectionist . he put his ALL into anything he did . & for the 15 minutes spent goofing around on guitars , keyboards & drums , he spent a further 30 pouring over pages of old lyrics & sheets that held fragments of melodies that just about covered the whole floor of the lounge area outside of the recording booth . hoping that if he stared at them long enough the notes would etch themselves black upon them on their own . it had been a sight that had become like clockwork since they’d all settled into a routine . three boys standing at the edge of a sea of off-white that surrounded kieran , bent over a guitar propped against him as he scribbled out a note & replaced it with another , all in a useless attempt to lure him out to get some air or water or food or to go home to evan & ziggy . “ come on , walsh . we’ve been at t’is for fucking HOURS . give it a rest & come grab some food wit’ us . ” kieran registered conan’s voice over the gentle notes that resonated from the movement of plucking fingers across metal strings that came with a slight tilt of his head . but the only movement his lips made was a soundless mimicking of the notes that filled the air . “ kieran . ” the left corner of his nose twitched slightly as his head rightened , a breath loosening lightly at the sharpness of conan’s tone , “ i’ve nearly got t’is bridge figured out , just go catch up wit’ t’e ruairi & adam & bring me somet’ing back . ” & even though his eyes hadn’t lifted from the placement of his fingers upon the neck of his guitar , he didn’t need to to know the look that flashed across conan’s features ; irritation . . . frustration . . . defeat . “ at least be in a different bloody spot when we get back , you’re gonna lose a couple inches in height if you keep t’at up & you ain’t got a lot t’ lose before evan’s right about you being SHORT . ” but kieran had already tuned him out the minute he’d heard defeat in conan’s voice . & conan KNEW it . he could see it in the working of kieran’s jaw as his head angled once more in an attempt to tune further into the notes he worked on . though conan wasn’t sure if he’d EVER seen anyone more in tune than the boy that sat hunched over his guitar . it was the ONLY reason he didn’t resort to physically dragging him out when he got so fixated . . . it was hard to pull someone away from something that was like watching magic right before your eyes . he knew he'd even out eventually . he always did . it was why he let the studio door close firmly shut behind him as he finally stepped out into the corridor to catch ruairi & adam before the elevator made it to the fifth floor . but as he'd only made it a few metres down the corridor , a familiar figure rounded the corner ahead of him . causing his brow to arch upward as his eyes made a quick study of the girls small frame carrying the telltale sign of takeaways , “ you planning t’ feed ALL of us wit’ t'at measly amount of food , connely ? or is t'is a special request from t'e god damn diva t’at refuses t’ eat wit’ t'e rest of us ? ” he called down to her as his hand lifted from his side to jab a thumb in the direction of the studio that sat a few metres behind him . “ nearly forgot how much of a fucking pain in t'e ass he can be when he gets like t’is —- ” it could have been cruel , but only jest & admiration wrapped itself around his voice as he spoke & he kept walking . “ i’d stick around t’ help but — i’ve got two ot’ers t’ look after & feed & t’at one IS yours so —- ” as he slipped passed her , he turned to walk backwards down the hall as his hand rose once more to point at her , “ ‘ave fun . don’t take it personally if he’s more into t’at guitar of his t'an he is into you at t'e minute . but most important —- don’t call . i’m off the clock till 9 . ”
13 notes
·
View notes
𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 , 𝐊 & 𝐄'𝐒 𝐀𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 ; 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 ›› 𝐊𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐍 + 𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐍 .
the last & only time he’d moved , a duffle bag & two boxes were the only things sitting in the back of his beat-up secondhand car on the ferry over from dublin . it had taken a total of an hour , AT MOST , to pack up his entire life to move to another country . but now . . . now he’d HATE to think just how long & what exactly it would take . but with his belongings spread through a total of two rooms & an open plan living & kitchen area , he was certain it wouldn’t fit in the back of his car any longer . especially when it seemed to be the ONLY thing that had decreased in size . & especially not when EVAN’S things were thrown into the mix with his own . her things alone , after all , had warranted a renting of a small moving truck & COUNTLESS hours spent packing box after box — & then some all over because he hadn’t quite packed it the correct way . even if he had been CERTAIN he’d done it exactly as she’d told him . but if there was at least ONE thing he’d learnt since they’d landed back in london , it was that to get through the last few remaining days they had , until his place finally became THEIRS , all he had to do was do exactly as evan said . if she wanted things folded in a certain way , even if he thought folding them another way would fit more in , he did it . if she wanted to wrap things individually , instead of in groups , he did it . if she wanted him to traipse back & forth & up & down from the moving truck parked down on the street below her apartment , he did it . without argument . or at least . . . without minimal argument . there was no denying , after all , they’d likely gotten on each others nerves the MOST they ever had in the last couple of months . moving was NEVER easy . but as kieran had pulled down the back of a fully loaded truck & latched it closed , there wasn’t a SINGLE stupid little squabble caused by sleepless nights & stress that he’d take back . there wasn’t a SINGLE thing he’d take back because each & every moment in the past two days had brought them that bit closer to the moment that he’d been hanging onto since the night of their one year anniversary ; when they’d stood in the middle of a studio that had existed only in evan’s imagination & he’d asked her to move in with him . sometimes it still felt like a dream . like it was one of those old dreams he use to have when he’d only been able to call her his best friend . the old dreams he’d wake up from & have to feel the warmth in his chest drain away when reality set in . but EVERY TIME he woke up beneath a rising london sun to a halo of wild curls & a sleepy tone of laughter that dimpled cheeks beneath a pressed kiss , he was reminded that his dreams were no longer sweeter than his reality . his place was going to be theirs . evan connely was moving in with him . they were starting a life — a home together . & it was going to be everything the house back in lorcain , who’s threshold he’d stepped across for for the last time , had NEVER been . every stupid squabble , every disagreement , every aching muscle . . . it was ALL worth it . it was all worth it because he was certain not even his dreams were capable of painting anything sweeter than the sight of watching evan find the perfect spot between his belongings for her own to fit .
they’d been at it for HOURS at this point . & even with the help of three boys , that had been waiting on the curb as they’d pulled up at 10am that morning , it hardly felt like they’d made much of a dent in the boxes that now lay strewn around the whole of his — their apartment . but not even the quiet ache of a too long day pulling at his body could dampen the soft smile that had grown upon his features as a warm gaze locked on the small wild haired brunette that stretched this way & that as she rearranged one of the shelves that had once only housed a small collection of old cassette tapes & a cluster of potted succulents liv had given him . there was no denying that by himself he’d managed to make the apartment feel like home . it was the FIRST place he’d ever been able make his OWN & over the last three or so years it was hard to walk into it & not get a feel of just who lived here . but for the last year . . . it had felt like something — SOMEONE was missing . there’d be times when it felt as WHOLE as it once had . when the empty top drawer on the right of his dresser was full & the spot next to him was warm when he reached over in the middle of the night . but it’d never last as long as he wanted . because the missing piece would always be taken away on a train as sunday night crept in . but watching her now , settling items that he’d caught set up on shelves within an apartment he’d spent half his own weekends in between his own , there was no more overhanging threat of that piece vanishing as the sunset when that sunday night crept back around . the piece had been pressed back into place once & for all . & if he was honest , he'd never been THAT good at decorating anyway . he lingered for another moment , shoulder lent up against the doorframe of his — their bedroom , before he took in a breath , drawing himself back down to earth , & stepped forward . “ hey ev —- ” his throat cleared lightly as his eyes jumped around the room now void of three boys who’d all slowly peeled off one by one as the sun had set , the takeaway pizza boxes had emptied & the twelve case of beer had dried up . leaving the crackle of a record playing in the background as the only noise to accompany the rustling of packing paper & boxes dragged across wooden floors . “ now t’at’ t’e hangers on 'ave finally left , t’ere's somet’ing i’ve got t' talk t’ you about . ” his eyes found hers from a little ways across the living room & though the smile was still lingering within the warmth of his gaze a serious tone had crept into the edges of his words , “ & maybe i should ‘ave said somet'ing earlier but — ” he trailed off as the left corner of his nose scrunched before his hand slipped into the pocket of his pants , revealing a folded piece of paper just as he reached the couch . leaning back against it he tapped the folded edge of the paper against his pointer finger on his left hand as his eyes flittered down to it , “ i just —- fuck , i'll just fucking say it . ” a visible breath shifted his shoulders before he unfolded the paper & held it up , revealing a near blank page other than an excessive amount of tally marks upon it , as his head lifted to let his eyes focus upon her . a quiet glint of mischief sparking within their depths . “ you , connely , have got a problem . ” his free hand lifted to tap against the paper before pointing over at her , “ all t'ese tally's ? ALL — definitley all , NONE ‘ave been added by me , ” expect maybe a dozen or more for dramatic effect , “ are items of my clothing t’at YOU made me believe i’d lost but am now just somehow finding with your t'ings . ” his gaze lingered upon her for a moment before he glanced towards the paper held up at face height , “ i was expecting a couple but t’is ? —- ” his head shook as his cheeks puffed up before he slowly let them out in a long whistle , “ bloody excessive , baby . ” his head was still shaking from side to side as he looked back at her . but this time , as he did , a grin as mischievous as the glint in his eyes had broken its way across his lips as he lowered the paper down to his lap , “ i really do t’ink you owe me some kind of reparation for every little bit of sanity i lost for each of t'e marks . ”
11 notes
·
View notes
𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐂𝐀𝐈𝐍 , 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐒𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 ; 𝘢 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 ›› 𝐊𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐍 + 𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐍 .
the thing about chapters was in order for a new one to start , another had to end . & as the night of the 30th turned into the 31st & halloween weekend faded with the rising of a new month , evan’s 23rd wasn’t the only thing that signalled a changing of chapter . EVAN may have been the reason they’d come back to lorcain for the halloween weekend . so she could be with eloise & where she felt closest to beck on days that had been hard to endure for the past 4 years . but there had been another reason for kieran to make the trip back to lorcain , another chapter that he needed to see closed as october faded into november . one not necessarily for him . . . but for his MOTHER ; for nora . because unlike him , who’d gotten to write the ending of a ten year long chapter in a restaurant back in manchester nearly 8 months ago , nora’s was still being written . nora’s was still being dragged out . samuel walsh STILL had a hold on her , no matter how FAR she’d come . & he always would until the house kieran had grown up in — the house nora & samuel had moved into when they were just a few years younger than he & evan were now to start what was meant to be a happy life together — was no longer a place she could call hers . the sale of the walsh home was the last piece needed to allow her to move on . but the sale of the walsh home was easier said than done . kieran & liv had been trying to get nora out of the place filled with memories that lurked in every corner of every room for the past three years . they’d only JUST managed to convince her to move into a newer , smaller place mid-way through the year ; a decision HEAVILY influenced by mikey . but whenever the subject of SELLING the old house was brought up , nora always withdrew . it was the ONE part of nora walsh that kieran could never understand . he could never understand just what HOLD that house had on her . he could never understand why she wanted the reminder of years of abuse . why she had left the house untouched , as if she was waiting for samuel to walk through the door any minute . it made NO SENSE to him . at least not until one day his frustration had gotten the better of him for the first time in YEARS . & as nora had excused herself , mikey had — carefully & kindly — explained. the day nora had left behind that house , she’d NEVER been able to go back . not even been able to drive passed it . it wasn’t that she WANTED the reminder . it was because she didn’t want to think about , let alone step into , a place that had been more or less a PRISON . kieran had felt guilty enough seeing the look on nora’s face the minute he’d snapped at her . but it had settled deep within his bones when he realised that out of the three of them — him , olivia & nora — HE’D gotten out easiest . he’d moved to manchester & been able move on without any reminders of his past . & even when he went back , he could avoid them by retreating to the sanctuary that had ALWAYS been the connely’s . nora & olivia on the other hand . . . they’d had to deal with seeing that place & knowing it would always be there every single day . kieran had , had the luxury of being able to put it out of his mind for far longer than either of them had , & it was EXACTLY because of that reason why he’d taken it upon himself to make it possible for them to do the same ; the walsh family home had to be sold & HE was the person to plaster the sold sign upon the for sale sign that had been hammered into the small stretch of grass that lay before the front of the white plastered home with a black door .
& it was because of that sold sign that he was FINALLY able to stand in the hallway without his throat constricting . it was because of that sold sign that the PANIC that had once come when he’d seen the light lighting the end of the hallway , as he’d closed the heavy black door behind him , was a memory that could no longer hurt him . he was SAFE . his family was safe . NOTHING that had happened here could hurt them anymore . samuel walsh couldn’t hurt them anymore . & maybe the sold sign was enough to signify the close of a too long chapter . but for kieran , it was the presence of a girl he’d kept away for 12 years that told him it was FINALLY over . because as he stepped through the doorway at the end of the hallway , it wasn't his father — sat in the chair at the head of the table with a beer in one hand , a cigarette in the other & an expression that made him wish he’d never gone out to begin with — that he saw . all he saw , as he stepped into the dining room that flowed off of the kitchen , was EVAN CONNELY . the girl he loved . the girl that , against all what the ghosts of this house had made him believe , loved HIM . the girl that had loved him even when he’d slipped beneath water he’d barely been able to keep his head above . the girl that had seen EVERY part of him — good & bad — & only grew to love him more . she had been a light at the end of a dark hallway that he hadn’t been scared to walk towards . & it was because of that , that he had NEVER let her step foot past the foot of the stairs that led up to the second floor . he hadn’t wanted the darkness that lurked in this house to seep into one of the only sources of LIGHT in his life . but with that darkness now GONE . . . what was stopping him from showing her the LAST piece of the puzzle that made him kieran walsh ? TWELVE YEARS he’d kept her away . TWELVE YEARS there had been a part of him she’d never seen . but just like the chapter of his life that had been written when he’d lived within these four walls , those twelve years had finally come to an end .
he could have told the real estate agent that he’d drop the keys around on the 29th . when evan was busy & distracted by eloise . but with the knowledge that this was the LAST time he’d ever step through that black door , kieran couldn’t do it . they were starting a LIFE together . when they boarded that plane that afternoon , they’d be only days away from moving in together . it wouldn’t feel RIGHT to keep her from even having a chance to see EXACTLY where he’d grown up . where he went when she watched him drive away from the safety of a pale blue door . he wanted her to know EVERY part of him & this part had lay out of reach for too long . so after they’d said goodbye to eloise , olivia & nora that morning . he’d told her there was ONE last thing he needed to do before they went to the airport & flew back to london — to finish packing the last of evan’s belongings into boxes before they made the drive up to manchester & his apartment became THEIRS — & took her with him to fit the final piece of the puzzle into place . letting her go further into his childhood home than she had EVER been . since it had been put on the market earlier in october the walls had been painted , removing the last telltale marks of a man’s anger , & nora had removed all personal touches to fill her new home . but the furniture still remained . it was still , at its core , EXACTLY how it had been when kieran had left nearly three years ago . & the invitation for evan to see it had been spoken quietly in the car ; ‘ i just need to drop the keys off — you can come in if you want , ’ with a careful look of consent shining in his eyes . but it had been the ONLY thing he’d said since they’d pulled up . he didn’t know where to even START . & as his steps quietened to a stop in the archway of the kitchen , his fingers twisted the three keys hanging on his keyring around & around the silver circle . grateful to have his fingers doing SOMETHING as finally his lips parted , “ mam’ only ever asked if i wanted t’ invite you round ONCE , you know — ” his eyes travelled over the small wooden kitchen as he spoke , “ t’ink she would ‘ave asked more times if it hadn’t been for my reaction or — lack of one t’e time she said it’d be okay if i wanted t’ ‘ave you round t’ ours one night instead of going t’ yours . ” his fingers curled around his keys as he shifted back a step , angling slightly so he stood halfway between the kitchen & the dining room . “ i WANTED t’ — i wanted her t’ meet you & for you t’ meet her . i wanted it more t’an fucking anyt’ing . but — ” he trailed off as he sucked in a breath before a hand lifted to point towards the chair at the head of the table that sat empty , “ t’e t’ought of him sitting t’ere waiting for me t’ come home made me make her t’ink i didn’t want you t’ meet her . she acted like it was okay . like she understood why but — it hurt her . i know it did . reckon she t’ought it was HER fault too . but it was NEVER her i didn’t want you t’ meet — it was him . him drunk & looking for a fight wit’ a fucking 15 year old . ” his hand dropped to his side as his head shook before his keyless hand lifted to rub at his forehead before he dared to take a glance towards her . eyes darting over her from the distance that he’d let stay between them since they’d stepped across the threshold , “ it shouldn’t ‘ave taken me twelve years & a sold sign for me t’ bring you ‘ere . i just — ” he fell quiet as his lips pressed together before a single corner lifted into a small smile just as a single shoulder lifted in a subtle shrug , “ better late t’an never , right ? ”
11 notes
·
View notes
𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐅𝐄𝐁 𝟕𝐓𝐇 , 𝐊 & 𝐄'𝐒 𝐀𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 ; 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦 ›› 𝐊𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐍 + 𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐍 .
two days . they had TWO days left until they had to sit down with mikey & erin & show them what they had for the second album . ideas , visions , songs — finished or not . . . everything . EVERYTHING had to be presented . he’d thought it was hard enough the first time around , when mikey had first introduced them to erin & promised she’d help them put together a debut album that would go #1 . but looking back now , putting together the first album was going to be NOTHING compared to putting this second one together . that first album had been an amalgamation of YEARS of their lives . each song had depicted some part of their lives up to that point in time . it had been easy to decide what they wanted to put out into the world . but now . . . they had songs . plenty of them . kieran had never stopped writing & the four of them had always been able to play around until they cracked the music . there were even some songs that hadn’t made it onto the first album that could fit on this one . but that all depend on just WHAT they wanted the second album to be . did they want to play it safe & stick with the sound they knew like the back of their hand & knew their fans loved ? or did they want to change it up & play around with their sound so they weren’t pigeonholed into one genre ? did they want to attempt a concept album of sorts ? or did they want to simply make it be another amalgamation of songs of the past years of their lives ? they were ALL questions they had to figure out . & maybe they didn’t need to have ALL the answers by wednesday , but they sure as hell needed to have SOME clue before they went in there . & with two days to go , & two weeks in the studio PLUS hours in between at each others apartment & in their usual booth at maggie miley’s behind them , one would think that they’d have SOME clue about what their second album might end up looking like . but instead , they hadn’t even decided on the final list of song options to put in front of mikey & erin . & it felt like they’d NEVER get there . kieran was just about ready to pull the plug on everything . if it hadn’t been for a haircut he’d gotten only a few days ago , too long curls would have indeed looked like the very mop evan had ALWAYS said it had . due to the way his fingers had buried themselves within them as his elbows rested against the table , dragged in from an office a floor down , & he starred at the array of songs — all in different stages of completion — organised from favourite to least favourite . their order had changed multiple times since he’d come in at 10 that morning . conan had grumbled that it was just him being a perfectionist & he needed to calm down , adam had assured him that any of the songs would be good options to kick the album off & ruairi had barely glanced over them before patting him on the back & told him to shove them all into a folder . but still he wasn’t sold . he wanted SOMETHING solid for wednesday but their time was running out . his time was running out .
he’d THOUGHT it’d be okay ; going with evan to a silent charity auction two days before their meeting with mikey & erin . & he’d told her as much when she’d reminded him that morning that he needed be ready by 8 to leave ; i know , i haven’t forgotten . i’m only going to t’e studio till six . i’ll be here & ready by 8 — i promise . but now as he starred at the array of songs , knowing with each passing second he got closer & closer to the time he’d have to leave to be ready at 8 , he was slightly regretting agreeing to go . the LAST thing he really wanted to do was spend the evening schmoozing rich entitled people that had deep pockets for charities until there was nothing in it for them . but he’d SAID he’d go . & evan had wanted him there & really , that was reason enough alone for him to go . SHE was all that mattered . he was going for evan . no one else . EVAN . so why , as the alarm he’d set for 6pm went off , did he pull his phone from his back pocket & hit dismiss ? he KNEW he had a habit of losing track of time in here . he knew hours could pass by him & only feel like minutes . but still , he tossed his phone onto the side table by the couch & turned back to the songs muttering a , ‘ i’ll leave by 6:30 , i don't need t’at long t’ get ready , ’ as conan shot him a look . & he’d CONVINCED himself he would . he convinced himself that half an hour more was okay . all he had to do when he got home was shower & change into the suit , that wren had hand delivered on saturday , hanging up on the door of his side of the closet . he could do that in half an hour if he REALLY had . leaving at 6:30 would be plently of time . at least . . . it would have been . “ how are you gonna look at t’at & say it should be one of t’e top ones ? we wrote it when we were fucking 15 . ” kieran swore as he straightened from his hunched position at the end of the table to try & swipe the old song ruairi had tried to move to the top , “ because it has fucking great drums in it , t’at’s why . ” “ we ain’t putting it t’ere just because it has great drums . ” “ why not ? ” “ because — ” “ because why ? ” “ because — ” kieran trailed off as his eyes darted over the table , trying to pin point a sheet of paper , before he swipe one up & shoved it towards ruairi on his left side , “ because t’ose drums might work wit’ t’is & it doesn’t make me want t’ fucking end it . ” “ great ! so t'at one can go up t’ere . ” kieran let out a groan as his hands lifted to rub roughly over his features before they fell to his sides , “ fine — alright . t'at can go bloody up t'ere . ” not that it REALLY mattered . all they needed was an assortment of song options to get the ball rolling . but it seemed more logical to take their top 15 & go from there . at least it had when they’d all talked about it the first day they got into the studio . now it felt like a never-ending nightmare . but with ruairi’s top pick secured in the fourth spot from the top & him retreating back into the recording booth to his drum kit , at least ONE thing was secured . all they needed now was conan’s & they’d have the first of each of their favourites picked . & with the click of the studio door filling the room , signalling conan's return from the pizza place around the corner , kieran wasted no time . “ i need you t’ pick somet’ing , we — ” but his sentence faded on his lips as conan interrupted him , “ what are you still doing 'ere ? ” kieran’s brows furrowed together as his eyes stayed focused on the papers , “ what ? ” “ what . are . you . still . doing . 'ere . ” each of conan’s words were annunciated singularly as he grew closer out of the corner of kieran's eye . “ what are you going on about ? ” his head lifted to let his confused gaze focus upon conan who pulled to a stop & starred at him . brows raising up as he prompted him , “ evan ? ” the crease between kieran’s brow evened out , “ oh . it’s fine , i've still — ” “ it's 7:55 . ” kieran felt his heart stop in his chest as his eyes darted over conan’s features , searching for some kind of sign that he was lying . no — no , it COULDN’T be . he’d just . . . but why would conan lie . “ no . no — ” his head shook as he took a step back from the table & moved towards his phone that sat upon the side table by the couch . “ it's 7:55 , kieran . ” conan repeated . & sure enough as his phone lit up to display a photo of evan & ziggy taken on new years eve , it was there displayed in white — along with a handful of missed texts beneath — 7 : 55 . “ FUCK . ”
he was dead . he was going to be well & truly DEAD . he’d PROMISED he’d be there just this morning ; not to mention all the other times she’d reminded him the last few days ; i’ll be there . you don’t have to worry . i remember . i won’t be late . i promise , i promise , i promise , i promise . he ALWAYS made good on his promises . always . but yet — . . . his stomach hadn’t stopped churning as he’d grabbed his things from the studio in a mad rush — sending papers flying here & there & drawing ruairi away from his drums to stare in confused wonder in the process — & spilled out the door before hardly waiting 1 minute for the elevator to get to the fourth floor before he abandoned it for the stairs . he just had to get home before 8 . that’s ALL he had to do . that’s all he could do at this point . apart from pray & hope there WAS some divine being up above looking out for him . because he knew he sure as hell could use the protection . it was one thing to be half an hour late from the 6 he'd told her . but it was a WHOLE different thing to be getting home just as the clock hit 8 pm ; the time he was meant to be ready by . though really , getting home at 8 would have been meant he had luck on his side . because even if his stride had hardly broken from a run as soon as his feet had hit the pavement , he’d still get home AFTER 8 pm . evan was going to kill him . & really , he wouldn't blame her .
8:08 pm . his lungs burned with every breath he dragged in as he stepped out from the elevator & made a b-line for the front door of their apartment , switching his phone for his keys . please god , or whoever the hell is listening , don't let me have just missed her . let her still be here . because if she was still there , there was STILL a chance for him to explain . there was still a chance for him to go with her . they’d be late . incredibly so . but it wasn’t as if it'd be the FIRST time they were late to something . they’d once gotten so bad that they’d been told the wrong time in hopes they'd actually get there on time . granted , it had usually been for soundchecks for his own band & events where if you showed up even an hour late no one would really care . but still , being late wasn't foreign to them . all he had to do was choose the right words , tell her how sorry he was , be as quick as he could getting ready & they’d be out the door before they knew it . at least that was what he’d convinced himself with on the run over . whether or not it was going to work . . . only time would tell . kieran’s keys jangled loudly in the quiet hall as he pulled to a stop in front of the door but just as he lifted the right one to the lock , the lock slipped away from him as the door swung upon . wide eyes snapped up from the spot a lock had sat seconds ago to focus upon a steely gaze . she wasn’t happy , but she was still here . his lips parted in a struggled breath as his fingers curled around his keys , “ i know . ” he paused for a minute to gather back some of his breath , his curled hand lifting to point at her unamused features , “ i know i’m late & i'm really sorry . i just — ” another breath was dragged in as he stepped forward to slip passed her in the doorframe , “ just let me go jump in t'e shower for 5 minutes & we’ll be out of here by like , 8:15 . ” he paused for one quick second to rid himself of his jacket , tossing it over the back of the couch before he turned on his heels to face her once more . his features covered in apology as wide earnest eyes darted over her features , “ 7 minutes , 10 at most . i can be real fucking quick & t'en i'll explain & apologise properly in t'e car . where you can do my tie up a little too tight & pretend like it was an accident . i just need 10 minutes & t'en i'll be ready . i promise . ”
5 notes
·
View notes