#𝗢𝗢𝗖: // it's on me to fix this

[doctordonovan]

me vs feeling increasingly isolated on this blog and having no idea how to fix it 

#negativity tw #tbd #𝗢𝗢𝗖: // I know I know #𝗢𝗢𝗖: // it's on me for choosing a dead character from a mostly dead fandom #𝗢𝗢𝗖: // but god #𝗢𝗢𝗖: // my presence here is so reliant on people from other fandoms humouring my presence? #𝗢𝗢𝗖: // and maybe I should just... find a live active character #𝗢𝗢𝗖: // in a fandom where they already fit? #𝗢𝗢𝗖: // I'm trying very hard to message new people. to do more things #𝗢𝗢𝗖: // it's on me to fix this #𝗢𝗢𝗖: // it's just really sad to be unable to do things in fandoms I love bc I can't find a gap for maeve #𝗢𝗢𝗖: // anyway ignore me #𝗢𝗢𝗖: // I'll be here all day thursday actually trying to put stuff in the queue #𝗢𝗢𝗖: // not vaguing about anyone I promise #𝗢𝗢𝗖: // I just don't know what to do about this blog anymore #𝗢𝗢𝗖: // I love so many of you so much #𝗢𝗢𝗖: // it's really not about that

[doctordonovan-a]

 birdie rambles;   forever tempted to have maeve commonly wear gloves in her star trek verse.    I keep reading more things about how,    despite the telepathic genes vulcans have being dormant in them,   them still having touch based empathy   (  I’ve ranted about it here if anyone is curious  ).   like...  imagine your friend touching you on the arm and you knowing how sad they are but not being able to directly bring it up?  imagine your fiance touching your cheek and you realising what he’s feeling isn’t love?

 maeve probably has had so many negative experiences when it comes to things she’s felt by accident.

“Romulans can feel strong emotion when touching others, though they have no control over this ability, which is why physical contact is frowned upon among Romulans with the exception of family or other loved ones”

 just...  the thought of how much she doesn’t want to feel all she does?  and yes at times it’s useful,  and there are times it’s to her advantage...  is she already touch starved and isolated as hell?   yes.  does she want to invade anyone’s privacy?  no.   (  though,  on a sunday related note,  it’s probably a great trick to have in bed.  )

 when people thought she was half vulcan she was an underachiever when it came to any telepathic skills,  but by romulan standards,  she’s an incredible overachiever with the clarity and depth she can get.   

#𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗥 𝗧𝗥𝗘𝗞: // tomorrow we disappear into the unknown #𝗢𝗢𝗖: // touch based affection is so important from her though #𝗢𝗢𝗖: // and it's so sad it's been corrupted too #𝗢𝗢𝗖: // poor thing deserves better #𝗢𝗢𝗖: // as she fixes her dna back it gets stronger and she hates it #𝗢𝗢𝗖: // it just really suits her and how observant she is #𝗙𝗜𝗟𝗘: // headcanons #𝗢𝗢𝗖: // her always knowing bobby didn't truly love her breaks me #𝗢𝗢𝗖: // she always knew. she was just lonely.