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darlingod · 5 years

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Jurdan Au

post wicked king, when jude comes back for cardans’s blood.

(can’t promise any grammar is correct)

I walk into the High King’s scattered room. It looks the same as it did a year ago, but it feels… different. Unfamiliar.

He’s at the end of the bed, head down as if disappointed, ashamed. Which he should be. He looks not like a king, but a boy. Something he never was. Never had the chance to be.

I wonder if he spends all of his time moping in his room like this. I hope he does.

He picks on the sides of his fingernails, a habit he may have picked up on from the time I’ve been gone.

I take an almost inaudible, but loud enough, step to show my presence. He doesn’t look up as he whispers, “Jude.” Not a question, a statement. After this long he knows it’s me. I do not know how he knows. And I also do not care.

I think.

“Hello, darling.” I mock what he once called me. I smile at him as if we were close friends. As if we didn’t hate each other. Yet he still doesn’t move. To see the High King in a state like this is odd, maybe even a little amusing. What has affected him this way? What could? He has his wine, his courtiers.

His crown.

What else more could he want and not have?

I’m suddenly hot with anger. The person in front of me has always had a gift of pissing me off all too easily. I hate myself for it. I hate him for it. My blood boils at the memories. Of the mere thought of him. “It’s been awhile,” my hatred is thankfully concealed. I cannot let him know the effect he still has on me. How angry he can make me. Any other feeling I had towards him is very, long gone. Not even the fae can see it.

His dark locks are dangling in front of his face, long but not too much longer than when I left. It seems Cardan never fails to take care of himself, no matter the circumstances.

What circumstances? He never cared. He exiled you because you are nothing to him.

I cock my head to the side, “Though, it wasn’t in any of my control since you exiled me,” he lifts his head up slowly, his hair naturally moving out of his face. His eyes drift to my finger, where the ring isn’t. His face is neutral but I can see the exhaustion. Good. “It was hard, however, nothing I couldn't handle.” I mention for no reason. I have nothing to prove to him.

Then why isn’t he in pieces on the floor already?

“You’ve always been able to handle anything.” A lie he believes. He truly believes that. I wish I could believe it too.

“You are not wrong, Your Unbearable Highness,” I don’t even attempt a courtesy, I’m too angry for dramatics.

As I said the words, his eyes lock with mine and I grin wider at the sadness I see in them. At the mess I see. He’s been terrible without me, this I know. This, I want to scream with delight.

“You won’t say my name.” he says and I fight a scowl.

“You don’t need a name,” I spit, “you have a title. One that I gave you and in return, you repaid in kind.” I say with laminated respect, still smiling. I lift my hand up and start picking at my nails, to act as though this conversation has no effect to me at all. “Banishing me was clever, more than I’d like to admit. I wouldn’t allow myself to believe that you had become accustomed to playing High King, turning me blind to your talents, your desires. Well played,” I take a step toward him, our gazes still connected. I’m about to take another but his next words stop me short.

“I’m sorry.” My eyes go wide and my smile falters. I swallow hard, too shocked to do anything else. Those were the last words I thought I’d ever hear from his mouth. I almost wish he didn’t say them. Maybe I could start with cutting his tongue off. It would fix so many problems.

“What?” I question unbelievably, my voice coming out high.

“I’m so sorry, Jude,” He covers the right side of his face with a hand and wipes an eye exhaustingly and a bit dramatically.

“You don’t mean that.” I accuse and he scoffs.

“Of course I do. I cannot lie.” He snaps, obviously pissed off by the fact. He relaxes himself and drops the hand on his face. “I’ve thought about it every day since you left. I’ve thought about you every day since you left.” he quietly curses at himself.

“Since you exiled me.” I correct harshly. “Since you humiliated me in front of our court. You made me look nimble and insane. You made me look powerless.” He makes a pained face though continues.

“And you killed my brother,” I flinch as he snaps. I never intended to kill Balekin. I never intended to kill anyone. It’s not my fault the fae have a talent for underestimating me. “I had plenty of reasons to exile you. You forget, Jude, that I don’t forgive. You forget that I’m not the childish, naive boy I was a year ago,”

“And who made you who you are today? Who gave you the title you currently hold?” I question but we both already know the answer. I tell him anyway, to make him realize a mortal gave him something that he, himself, a faerie, couldn’t take. “I, a weak mortal, made the folk believe you are important. They no longer think of you stupid and foolish because of me; because of a mortal.” I push my words into his face, something I’ve always been so good at, especially with him.

He pushes back. “Does it nag at you that no one knows you are the crown?” He raises a single, dark brow. “True, they don’t see me as foolish, but they see you as that. I was not the one who was exiled, I was not the one who lost the crown. I was not the one,” he tilts his head to the side, “to lose power.” And he smiles.

The Devil smiles.

“I don’t have power? Who’s the one with the knife?” It’s my turn to grin. His black eyes start to glow. I try not to remember why.

“Beside those facts, I still hate myself everyday for what I did.” My smiles fades. “It was the most idiotic thing I have ever done, and I’ve done many idiotic things.” He admits and closes his eyes, hiding whatever he feels. If he feels at all.

“Then why’d you do it?” His eyes snap open. Now it’s his turn to be surprised.

“What?”

“Was it because I posed a threat?” I take a step closer, leaving two feet separating us. “To spare your feelings?” Another step. “Or did you always feel nothing at all?” I let my emotions get the best of me, I compose myself, empty my expression, which is something I have gotten too good at. I take my last step and lean closer to his face so we are only inches apart. He’s much taller than me but I feel as though we’re on the same level. I hope I make him feel small. “You said you had many reasons to exile me, tell me the most valuable one, the one that settled my exile.” He’ll tell me, I’m not worried about that at all.

“You want to know why I really exiled you.” his eyes fall to my lips, then to my knife, then back up to my lips.

“The High King actually listens now does he?” He raises an eyebrow. I lean back up and cross my arms. “Of course I want to know. It’s been gnawing at me ever since.” I exasperate, flinging my arms in the air. As I do, he looks uncomfortable and moves his body slightly. His eyes are on my knife and I fight the urge to laugh.

He waits a few seconds to see what I’ll do, he doesn’t move until I put the knife back into my pocket. His eyes dart up to my eyes then he says, “I did it to protect you.” Impossible. So stunningly impossible I can’t believe it. I am not able to.

But he cannot lie.

For once I wish he had the ability to.

“You were constantly getting hurt, being threatened. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to offer protection, but I would not allow my true feelings to show. Not allow you to know how I felt.” True feelings? I thought he only knew what anger and hatred were like, in those ways we were the same. He goes on, “After the Under Sea made their move and took you their prisoner, I went mad. I blamed Madoc, then myself, for not protecting you at all.” I want to scream at the memories that surface from the Under Sea.

“I never needed protection. I’m no challenged. I’m a challenge.” I pride myself, almost smiling again. But smiling is hard to do when the person you hate most stands only inches from you.

“When you were brought back to the land, and I saw you, that state you were in, I…” He looks for the words. “Hate was never such a weak word for how I felt. I wanted to rip apart the sea bit by bit. To drain the waters, or freeze it perhaps. To destroy it all whole at least.

They kept you in that dress.” His voice softly breaks. “It didn’t fit you as nearly as it had used to, you were more of a hanger for it. So frail; your rib cage was sticking out too far, as if they never fed you. Which I doubt they did.” He says bitterly. “It completely and utterly destroyed me.” He glares at me. “You destroy me.” Distaste covers his face. “And that was it for me. I was so sick of everything terrible happening to you. Sick of people using you against me.

So I began planning,” He sits up straighter. “I thought of all I could, Jude. Trust me. I want nothing more for you to stay with me. I needed you by my side, especially then. But only one idea was the most reasonable, most effective.” Exile.

Words do not find their way to my mouth.

“I’m truly sorry. You killed my brother and I still cared. I even thought you’d be glad to be sent away to your home, to be rid of ever seeing me again. Then you cried and I acted like it didn’t affect me at all. Acting is very easy when you convince yourself it’s not an act.” I know that, I’ve done it plenty of times.

I take a step back. “Did you know how miserable I was?” I shout. “How horrifying it was to be forced to go back to the home that I witnessed my parents murdered? My memories had never been so frightening. I have never been more terrified in my entire life.

I never got to know them, Cardan! I never got to love them enough. Do you know what I did get?” I yell, not intending for a reply from him. “To know what it’s like to feel absolutely nothing at all,” tears start to fall from my face, I don’t don’t have the strength to wipe them. “I never got to experience what loving was like, to be loved. I never had the chance to be a child.” I cry. “The chance to be human. I’ve never had the chance for anything, my life was fated illy.” I stay quiet a few seconds, then, “I miss them so much, everyday. I think about how I could’ve stopped it. Yelled at my father to stop or to stop my mother. Or hurt Madoc. But I just stood there, not able to do anything.” I choke out. “In the end,” I inhale slowly, trying to steady my breath. “I am always powerless.”

I don’t realize I’ve fallen to the ground, Cardan in front of me, hand cupping my cheek, eyes filled with too much real emotion that I decide not to place. “Don’t touch me.” I swat his hand away and wipe my tears, only to see him crying as well.

Cardan.

Crying.

I’ve always been so delusional.

“Stop it.” I demand. Confusion strikes his devastating face. “You don’t cry. You don’t feel anything at all.”

“You’d be surprised how I feel.” He seethes, wiping his fallen tears.

“Well then,” I say, wiping all emotion from my words. We both stand up, Cardan eyes me suspiciously. I whip out my knife faster than he can detect and push him against the hard wall, blade to his throat. “Give me a reason not to kill you,” I don’t know if I’m begging him or not.

“Oh I have no reason, though, I feel as though I need to tell you something.” I shrug, lacking care. I think.

“It’s too bad I wasn’t planning on keeping you alive either way.” I make a move to cut him-

“I love you.” I jump back immediately, as if he was the one with a knife to my throat. My knife flies into the wall, where his head just was.

Cardan stares endlessly at me. As if he can’t believe his words either.

“No you don’t,” is all I say, all I can say.

“I wouldn’t allow myself have it be true. But when I banished you, the way I felt… I knew. I knew and I thought I was going to die.” I almost laugh. “No, I knew long before that,”

“You’ve found a way to lie.” I say, stunned.

“Oh dear Jude, if I had we would definitely not be having this conversation.”

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marauders70s · 5 years

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So I just watched Crimes of Grindelwald and I have a huge rant list.

Spoilers (obviously).

Also, I did not like hardly any of it, so I’m sorry. Don’t pick a fight with me after reading a post entitled rant list and then be upset that they are all rants.

- wow AMERICA yeah jo we know what you think of us. it’s obvious in our de-tonguing geneva-convention violating (i know it’s not around in 1927 okay) inhumane treatment of not just grindelwald but apparently all the prisoners and animals we keep in cages (i know our prison system is inherently terrible i’m very aware) but to transport him like a paralyzed stroke victim drooling to a thestral carriage on a Dark And Stormy Night really just is lazy writing on why we should dislike aurors without giving anyone a plot, dialogue, or exposition

- this guy who has been posing as Grindelwald....since the beginning? since when? they cut out his tongue?? but then? it’s just forked? there’s magic? like? could they grow the tongue back?? they can regrow bones in harry’s arm but okay

- this thestral carriage chase scene is really CGI explosion heavy turned actioned film and mostly consisted of me being like what. what. WHAT. wait what. wait who is that. what. why wouldn’t he just disapparate. what happens to these thestrals. okay. what. grindelwald can just dissolve wands since when can people do that why didn’t voldemort do that why didn’t harry do that this presents problems

- okay look david yates and co. you had this incredible opportunity to create an entire wardrobe of WIZARD FASHION in THREE COUNTRIES, most notably the fashion capitol of the world and what did you do you put every single person in trench coats and random muggle garb. Also, not even cool wizard hats. No. Just muggle bowlers and mobster hats.

- Does Newt have a job. If so, what is it? How can he pay for this lovely house with magical modifications? Don’t you have to get a contractor to put that in? Did he do it himself? How does he pay Sad Girl In Love With Protagonist tm? Does he pay her? How did they meet? Why do we never see her again?

- For a movie entitled ‘Fantastic Beasts’ we really gloss over looking at any of the in-house beasts, learning anything about them, or doing anything except a CGI palooza.

- Wow Queenie and Jacob are here ‘hope you don’t mind we let ourselves in’ ah yes rude american trope again. who on earth would do that. also this entire time jacob acts like a goon and newt is like let’s take the enchantment off and i’m like hi that’s hella nonconsensual you’re basically raping and kidnapping him and jacob is somehow okay with this. newt is somehow okay with this.

- ‘please don’t read my mind’ um dude you’re talking AT her???

- movie glosses over how jacob got his memories back with a throwaway line of unbelievable dialogue. If obliviate only worked on bad memories, Hermione Granger really needs to go to family counseling with her parents.

- mysterious postcard is exposition over really dumb journalism error that could have been easily fixed within seconds by sending an owl because owls don’t need addresses, something queenie conveniently forgets by not knowing how to find her sister

- queenie is a Dumb American for cheap laughs by letting a woman say something in french, laughing, and saying she doesn’t understand anything only for the droll French woman to repeat it in the exact monosyllabic voice. Apparently everyone entering/leaving a country needs to register a visa or something, which is conveniently circumvented by going through a muggle port? It’s unclear. Queenie herself does not seem to have registered.

- French Ministry of Magic is gorgeous. Has a cool roots to iron elevator. It is also probably improperly named as they put ‘American Ministry of Magic’ despite America not having ministries or ministers outside of some serious religious stuff. They put all this effort into creating MACUSA but didn’t use it.

- Is it just me or does the MoM change the interior every time I see it.

- Queenie is devastated she can’t find her sister in a city of millions despite having magic, a means of communication that is foolproof, and enough money to find a hotel and wait to meet up. Queenie is overwhelmed that other people think in their native language. Instead of finding this helpful for tuning out a crowded city (like she does on the daily in New York), she somehow finds it overwhelming even looking for Newt/Jacob.

- Random woman is Silence In Queenie’s Head. I literally never learned who she was except Hard Bitch Kills Toddler. Or why Queenie can’t hear her thoughts. (Plot twist she’s Bella Swan).

- Toddler didn’t get his own little casket in the French mourning cart. Nice of Grindelwald to give a supposedly muggle family a funeral cart when he could have transfigured their bodies into armchairs or something. (Muggle supposed after he makes the remark about a ‘thorough cleaning.’)

- No one in Paris uses French in spellcasting. Spells are still English-based.

- Dumbledore is a dramatic bitch for gloves and rooftops. It’s a very specific brand of Gay.

- Don’t kill me but I don’t...hate? Jude Law as Dumbledore. He was still kind. But he wasn’t auburn and that was dumb.

- Unclear why Jacob and Queenie have to live in shame and secret when they could move to another country especially when Jacob loves bread and would like Paris. This seems to be Queenie’s motivator which is thin as hell and I didn’t follow her ‘logic’ at all. LAZY WRITING.

- Queenie immediately doesn’t disapparate upon seeing Grindelwald. Queenie somehow gets into this rhetoric. Later Queenie does not get disgusted with apropos wizard-Hitler being like ‘they are lesser beings’ and she, who wants to marry one, is like ‘yeah they totally are because I’m basically Jacob’s mom.’

- Grindelwald, in addition to being played by Johnny Depp, is albino, has one mutilated eye with a bad color contact clearly visible in multiple scenes, and is British when it is specifically stated he went to Durmstrang and was expelled for Dark Magic (at Durmstrang, which is noted for its Dark Arts program). As an allusion to wizard-Hitler, I always inferred that Grindelwald was German or Austrian.

- Wow Paris street magic carnival gave me LIFE and WOW and MAGIC feels. I loved the ducking through the barrier.

- Weird freakshow circus gets blown apart but Newt only manages to catch one creature that is helpfully foreshadowed it can leap Paris in a single bound. It is a Chinese creature when no mention of Chinese magic, Chinese handlers, or any sort of Asian magic is referred to (except in the cringe-worthy case of the ‘South Asian blood curse of Nagini’ which is a whole other can of worms). In all likelihood, as China is one of the oldest civilizations, their magic and dragon worship would be more paramount. China cat’s serious Great Beast’s weakness is a cat toy.

- Why is Nicholas Flamel....like that. Sure he’s like 600 years old but (a) is Jacob literally breaking his hand what the hell, (b) as much money and life as you could want does that mean he has to be like 100 years old forever that sucks that’s not even worth being immortal. (c) Where’s his wife. (d) When he goes to battle I thought he’d drink some elixir and be young again but...no.

- Nagini has no purpose in this movie other than to be snake slave and love interest and run around in a circus outfit with tits out bra off. She did not do a single useful thing.

- Wait I’m sorry WHAT you can like...fuck house elves now?? There are half-elves? How....you know what no thanks I don’t want to know.

- Credence, despite the last movie setting up an obscurial as like a suicide bomb, can relatively control mega destruction now and get back into his body fairly easily. No one even wonders why this lacemakers roof apartment exploded.

- Are he and Nagini in love? Are they escaped carnival freak bros? Why isn’t Nagini heading for the hills? She literally has no personality of her own at all.

- Paris is suspiciously white in this film. Especially for the 20s art renaissance.

- I don’t know why Credence falls into Orphan Must Know Parentage Trope because it’s really overused and boring. And frankly the superfluity of ravens was really beating me over the head. Credence can like...do anything. He could get some money and go to a wand shop. He could just...disappear. I don’t know why he has to be so easy to track.

- By the way who is this weirdo tracking him for Grindelwald/the ministry. It’s very unclear. I never got his name. It’s probably one of the many death eater names they throw in to make sure you know these families great-grandparents are also running around being evil instead of, you know, regular people doing it. So he could be Travers. I guess. LAZY WRITING.

= Now is a special segment on Hogwarts =

- The layout of Hogwarts changes every time I see it. Why are the classrooms always different. Why would the wood still have carvings. Why is there a bridge over this lake which is different than the covered bridge leading towards the Forest that Harry and Lupin have a Serious Chat on.

- YOU CANNOT APPARATE IN HOGWARTS GROUNDS. And don’t you try to tell me Dumbledore instituted that because it’s directly stated in Bathilda Bagshot’s Hogwarts, A History as being a longstanding charm with muggle repelling.

- Everyone apparates onto the bridge and walks through the castle without anyone bothering them into the correct classroom right away?? Like did they get a copy of the teaching schedule? Did Peeves show them?

- Dumbledore did NOT teach DADA. Dumbledore taught transfiguration. He was still teaching Transfiguration when Tom Riddle went to school. So if Dumbledore is teaching Transfiguration, Minerva McGonagall would not be at Hogwarts because she taught transfiguration after Dumbledore. Pretty sure mcgonagall was too young in 1927 to be a professor. LAZY WRITING.

- Just looked it up. Pottermore (official JK writing, btw) states that Minerva McGonagall was born in 1934. So she’s officially negative 7 years old and a professor. That’s GOT to be a record. Poor Rowan Khanna will never beat preconception tenure.

- Despite me being ecstatic to hear/see a young McGonagall, the camera never held still long enough for me to see a young McGonagall. Any far away shots only demonstrated despite this being 1920s, she was still dressing in the 1890s. McGonagall, despite the obvious laughs it was going for, would never use magic against a student.

- Haha this dumb neanderthal student is Grandpa McClaggen.

- Dumbledore, being known for wearing really flamboyant robes, dresses in conservative three piece suit.

- Why would you not go home for the holidays when you have to take care of a baby raven you can just put it in a box or your pocket for christ’s sake you’re carrying like 6 niffler babies at one time but you never even show them again

- Will say that young Newt’s casting is A++

- WHY ARE THE UNIFORMS NAVY BLUE. WHY DO THEY WEAR RED TARTAN SKIRTS. WHY DO THEY HAVE PHD EMBELLISHMENTS ON ACADEMIC REGALIA? Why do they have colored hoods when the original films (and books to boot) say all black robes. Why are these robes not even proper wizarding robes but just like...cambridge robes.

- To be honest this boggart lesson is like?? insane?? how did it last for 70 years it’s honestly so unethical and cruel. I’ve ALWAYS thought this even reading it for the first time in POA I was like “people’s worst fears are spiders and mummies?” like my greatest fear even at 12 was people I love dying. The fact that Newt is more scared of a desk than Theseus dying is weird.

- “I don’t want to talk about my boggart” Leta LeStrange means there was an Incident where Dumbledore realized that some students don’t have Great Home Lives and yet persists in this lesson for the next 70 years knowing that multiple kids are going to have their parents abusing them as their greatest fear.

- Corvus, as a name, just means Raven. How stupid. “Is your house crest a raven?” “Yes. Also my brother. Like if you were named Badger McHufflepuff.” “Oh don’t worry my name is just Lizard Lizard.” “Cool."

- No background or even hints at future background (e.g. they haven’t written it yet) on why Leta gets with Theseus even after the first film where he has a picture of Leta in his suitcase.

- Theseus and Newt have no screen time interaction. They do not behave like brothers. They have no flashbacks. Even young Newt never interacts with his brother. There is no realism here that Newt says they have a complicated relationship or is annoyed by his brother. This exposition is just lazy writing with nothing on screen to back it up.

- So you’re telling me Dumbledore had the mirror of erised for SEVENTY YEARS and yells at harry for looking in it for three nights. How did Dumbledore not go mad? Where did he get it? I feel like 70 years is a long time to have it.

- I guess when you think about it yeah being 40 in the 1920s does put you on the mark to be 110 when Harry meets you but fuck the books did NOT explain HOW OLD Dumbledore was to me I always thought he was like hale and sprightly 70s/80s

- Okay so you’re looking in the mirror and going to just BRAZENLY FLOUT CANON and say his deepest desire looking in the mirror is to relive the memory of the blood oath? That’s exposition. That’s a memory. That’s a pensieve not a mirror. Your greatest desire has ALWAYS BEEN saving Ariana. And even if it was loving Grindelwald this is your GREATEST DESIRE like being together not reliving a blood oath just for the sake of audience explanation. LAZY WRITING.

------ Back to other rants

- Most of this movie was me squinting being like ‘what’s the plot??’ and if there was a whiff of plot (”we all have to find credence’s birth records!”) most of it was me being confused “why does this matter?” “how did they all get there?”

- The confession of Newt trying to talk to Tina in the records room was painful. Not cute. Not even funny. Just so painful. It was like secondhand embarrassment but like...pity embarrassment.

- I don’t know why Grindelwald has a map of a Parisian cemetery. I don’t know why he had to give it to Credence except as a big reveal. I don’t remember how Queenie got there. I genuinely DO NOT understand how Jacob got there much less passed through to the secret wizard place as a muggle.

- No idea why the records lady was attacking them when Leta checked in twice (once as Tina). NO CLUE why they were the worst animated cats of all time or why they became multiple cats or even why when taken out of the French records they became even worse animated ‘real’ cats when they could have just used real cats. The entire chase scene was baffling and unnecessary. The records lady was not an agent of Grindelwald so no idea what’s up with her bee in the bonnet sorry for wrecking all your shit bye.

- I saw this movie less than an hour ago. I’m still confused how Leta, Newt, and Tina all teamed up or why they were cool teaming up or what.

- This mausoleum has a Greek hellenistic statue of a man reclining for no apparent reason and these shelves are supposed to bear ashes right so why are you putting a dumb pop up book there. Why would Grindelwald’s agent remove the record in drag as an old lady? It was weirdly unnecessary.

- Yosef’s exposition on how a white man literally imperiused and raped his mother was like WOW NO ONE IS GONNA EVEN TOUCH THAT???? and then for her to die in childbirth it’s like...my dudes wizards have cured so many diseases muggles haven’t you know they’re up there inventing the c-section with Julius Caesar and accio’ing babies out of utero like ‘gimme that catcher’s mitt she’s fully dilated.’ This whole “oh it was the 1900s” nonsense does NOT apply to magic. LAZY WRITING.

- I immediately forgot what happened to Corvus’ mom. but whatever right? she’s just a disposable woman! this movie does NOT care about consent! much less women! haha they’re just flowers!

- ‘I killed my brother’ yeah i mean we saw that coming she was REALLY SURE he was dead. But I was 90% sure it was going to be a child accident like dropping him down the stairs or shaking him too hard to get him to stop crying and then swapping him with a live baby but no? so i don’t know i feel like you didn’t really kill him.

- this steamer going down is confusing. is it a muggle ship? if it’s a muggle ship than is Credence swapped a baby with...a muggle born wizard? Are their other wizarding families on the ship? If so then why did they drown? you can all magic out of there? your lifeboat wouldn’t go down? why even take a steamer ship to america? you can...apparate or portkey or floo or fly like this titanic nonsense makes NO SENSE. And if Papa LeStrange hates muggles so much why put his only children on an all muggle ship with a half elf (again why) who can’t do magic to protect them

- Finding Credence’s identity REALLY doesn’t need to revolve around the LeStrange’s sordid past. Steamer ships keep passenger logs. So. We really should leave the mausoleum now to go find that.

- Yosef took an unbreakable vow to kill this white baby and it’s dead so is he released? He was released like...20 years ago. Why does he continue to hang out with these people? Your endless vengeance has rested? No need to team up with the sister you never knew? apparently (their family dynamic was also poorly/not explained).

- Why is this mausoleum an underground amphitheater. Literally why it makes no sense. Is it supposed to bring up the first David Yates film OotP? I don’t know. It also has a lot of blue fire and people rapturing the fuck out of there (literally when did apparating involve staring up at the sky and blasting off in rocket smoke). Also in re this movie how can you be tracked after apparating (Newt/Dumbledore’s tail).

- So if you touch this curtain do you automatically teleport to this amphitheater. Also what if you touched it by accident and were like OH SHIT HOW DO I GET OUT. Like wow this guy wasn’t kidding when he said there’s no wizard that can match him magically. This is like Charles Xavier Magneto Level 1 Mutant Power kind of shit. Not even Voldemort could do that. Big Power Too Big trope. Again. How did Jacob even GET there.

- Johnny Depp wears leather pants. Costume department, get your act together.

- Grindelwald, continuing to be British, shows clips of the Great War, approx 1914-1918. While the tanks and biplanes were appropriate, there were also lines (assumingly?) to concentration camps and the nuclear bomb of Hiroshima, which wouldn’t take place until 1945. So is Grindelwald also a prophet? Is he a seer? They kept referencing this book of poems and prophecy but without letting us see it? it went along with my general ‘I’m getting the gist of this but not really the why because it doesn’t make sense.’ And then Grindelwald rumor mongers and uses fear tactics when one of the police aurors straight up KILLS A WOMAN like wow can we cool it with use of force/police brutality is this guy going to get written up or is he fire now?

- Ethnically ambiguous Grindelwald supporter (only person of color) gets immediately incinerated for not being 100% sure of his side. When Credence feels the same way, he gets a couple of gifts.

- Look, I didn’t start this way but I stan Leta LeStrange. She was honestly one of the only people and the only woman in this film with a personality.

- Queenie stands still as weak, silly, expositional, dumb American. For those of you about to be like ‘She’s spying on Grindelwald! She’s the greatest legilimens that ever lived!’ I just want to beg you to reconsider because if you’re right and if the writers get wind of that you know they’re going to have her like teach little Tom Riddle something just BECAUSE everything has to connect.

- Poor Jacob he seems okay with being stranded in another country. Is his bakery okay? Do his friends know he isn’t dead? He is super super super brave throughout this movie despite his main comedic strength in the other movie being nervous. But this time he’s like meh firefights and large monsters.

- Credence I understand going over. Nagini continues to not be a character and did not go with Newt and Crew.

- Wasn’t even sad for Theseus because again, Theseus had little to no character development except being a Whipping Boy to authority. Theseus and Leta never interacted in any meaningful way. Their relationship didn’t even seem real. I wasn’t even sad.

- I feel like Leta isn’t dead though because who the fuck else is carrying this LeStrange line to give birth to Rabastan and Rodolphus.

- At this point everyone apparates AGAIN to Hogwarts. This time I guess a ghost went and alerted Dumbledore because he’s waiting. But yeah like come on in for tea Newt but fuck all those kids they can wait here.

- What is this plot?? Is there a plot?? What is going on??

- Who gives someone a wand like this hi I hid it up my sleeve touch me my boy I long for your touch.

- This is a phoenix, not a Raven. Newt is a sad ordinary bird but you’re a bright beautiful phoenix. Apparently phoenixes can grow up in ONE DAY. Foreshadowing Dumbledore is foreshadowing. LAZY WRITING this is so stupid. The books would have been EXPLICIT about a fourth child.

- Maybe he’s a cousin. Close relative, perhaps? *Pleakley voice*

“He hasn’t got a brother?”

Dobby shook his head.

Literally where I’m at right now.

- ABRUPT ENDING IS ABRUPT I didn’t even realize this was the end of the film because the score, cinematography, and writing did NOT cue me that this was winding down. I literally was like ‘how long does this last’ and then it was like DAVID YATES. Okayyyyyyy.

- Anyway my sum feeling upon the lights going on was: what the fuck. was there a plot. there were so many loopholes. i was confused about many things almost the whole time because nothing was fleshed out and if they threw enough CGI at me I’d be patched up.

Final rating: It matches up pretty well to the middle film of The Hobbit trilogy.

#crimes of grindelwald #spoilers #ftbcog

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hopevalley · 6 years

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What are your thoughts on the direction the show will be taking? The 'new' direction, I mean.

Hmm, again with the tough questions! I think my biggest issue with trying to answer this one is that I have no concrete understanding of what this new direction might actually be. I guess if I was attempting to speculate, I’d say they’re going to try and move away from the intense drama of S5 (both in-show and on social media) and toward calmer pastures—er, plotlines. Or at least plots that aren’t so busy that there isn’t time to hash them out in the allotted screentime.

Honestly? I hope that’s the case. Like I said in an earlier post, the setting of this series allows for some pretty organic drama to occur; there’s no reason to make it hamfisted or to shoehorn characters into performing roles just for the sake of upping the ante, especially not when they have limited space to tie things up in.

Let’s talk an example.

Plotlines like the rattlesnake bite of S5 weren’t bad on their own, but they were handled in a way that made them a lot worse than they had to be. Jack Wagner’s acting wasn’t what made the plot hard to watch (it was pretty reasonable IMO). It was a combination of the things that led up to the bite that didn’t make sense and poor timing of what I’ll call “meaningful moments.”

Let’s look at the lead-in issues, first:

1) Bill escorting AJ to Cape Fullerton by himself on horseback in the middle of the woods (not on a known trail/road) with no explanation as to why this was.

2) Implying that AJ intentionally didn’t tie her horse up just so that she could ride with Bill.

3) The camera angle making it look like Bill got himself bit on purpose.

4) The lack of time/space placement in terms of where they are at that moment and how far from Hope Valley they are.

Look, I know Bill was throwing out his arm as a defense and putting himself between the snake and AJ, but that is decidedly not how it looked the first few times I saw it. And it doesn’t fix the fact that the main components that are necessary for this plot to work…also don’t make sense or aren’t clarified. Why would Bill take a random backwoods trail when there are obviously main roads or a stage/train option, and why would AJ (a grown woman who has taken care of herself just fine all her life) purposefully try to let her horse go? If they’re not far from Hope Valley, why not try to go back there?

They could have had a really nice, organic plotline, but the showrunners tried too hard to make things extra difficult for the characters (see: dramatic), and in doing so made them act in ways that…didn’t quite work.

So for a few examples on how to write this particular plot so that it’s more digestible and interesting…

Let’s say that Bill decided to take the back way because AJ isn’t dangerous and he doesn’t want to humiliate her by having to keep her handcuffed on public transportation all the way to trial.

OR…they’re delayed getting on the road in the first place/the stage is running late or held up and rather than wait for the stage another day or two and make her late to her own trial, opts for a route he thinks might save them some time.

Either option works perfectly well. It’s just a matter of not forcing the audience to extrapolate all of the minor details themselves. A short scene where Abigail or Henry questions Bill for riding out with AJ more or less free (when Henry was taken away in a cage) might do the trick. Not that Bill would ever admit to Henry that he was making this choice to be kind to AJ, but he might say enough (in words or facial expressions) to tell us what’s really going on.

In the “before it rains” scene, which was pretty pointless, AJ could try breaking the silence with an annoying comment like, “Are we there yet?” prompting Bill to drop a hint about how far from Hope Valley they’ve traveled.

Alternatively, we could get a fairly long silent scene between them where AJ and Bill aren’t speaking but keep glancing at each other when the other isn’t looking. Bill could fiddle with that telegram in his pocket—even pull it out and read it. That could promote a conversation between them, starting with AJ commenting on what he’s doing, that, if nothing else, isn’t wholly unfriendly.

AJ’s horse can still spook and run away in a storm, but it makes more sense if we play it as unintentional on her part. Maybe she was the one spooked by lightning and failed to tie it up properly in her fearful haste to get to shelter. That wouldn’t be hard to portray in a scene at all. Then her asking Bill personal questions out of nowhere would seem more like…you know, her acting on nerves (and genuinely just trying to make conversation to distract herself, especially if the character flinches or jumps when thunder booms right overhead). If Bill understands this, him bothering to answer her makes more sense, too.

To go one step further, Bill does try to chase his horse down, and AJ physically yanks him back and keeps him from getting very far or AJ goes after the horse herself (but can’t keep up with it and ends up having to come back).

Want me to keep going? Sure. Bill’s “24 hours” comment might be fairly realistic in this time period, but it sounds out of place in the scene. AJ could ask how long they have to find help. Bill could act upset about the situation, or afraid and admit he hasn’t been this particular way enough times to know where the nearest hospital or doctor is for sure. He could still spitball ideas at AJ and determine they’re not concrete enough to pursue.

Then the rest of the plotline doesn’t feel as contrived or silly. Bill and AJ spent the entire rest of that day and part of the night together before she left him to find help, but the only meaningful part about it is that her staying with him meant something to him.

But why? She’d already turned herself in. She intends to go stand trial and knows she’s headed to prison (hence her refusing to take the dress with her). She’s accepted her fate. It makes more sense if we assume Bill just doesn’t want to be left alone, probably because he’s afraid of dying alone. That could be hinted at earlier. He could persuade her to stay, even if not in words.

Again, it doesn’t make sense that she’d wait to leave him until after dark when it’s unlikely someone else will find them. She’s kind of his only hope. If she goes at least he has a chance at living. A low chance is still a chance! So showing her having a reason to stay would be a smart move.

What might work? A few things. She’s afraid to leave him because she’s a wanted fugitive and maybe nobody will believe her and come to his aid anyway. He’s confused and she’s afraid to leave him because she might not be able to find him again even if she gets help. He keeps telling her, or asking her, not to leave, and comes up with some kind of ‘home remedy’ she can try on him that ultimately doesn’t work. Anything to lead the viewer to understand he’s more afraid of dying alone than he is of just dying. While we’re at it, him trying to keep her from leaving for Safety Reasons might be interesting, too. It’s possible he’d be worried about her walking around alone out there with no protection and all that, but if he says it, at least it would give us a lead-in to when they’re reunited that would help to alleviate the harshness of most of their earlier interactions in S5.

As a quick aside, the whole “Adeline…Josephine…Foster” bit was beyond cringey in its implementation but could have been really meaningful if timed appropriately, or led up to in such a way that when Bill said it, it felt like he was confessing something important. Part of that is timing. It felt crammed into a moment that had already given us a bit of meaning (“Thank you for staying.”“You’re welcome.”) and didn’t have room for more.

To make it non-cringey and something that we, the audience, could believe in Bill (as a character) saying in a moment of clarity or raw emotion, maybe he just calls her Adeline.

And…maybe we move that to a new scene when she’s about to sneak out of the camp. She builds up the fire and he stirs a bit and there’s a short conversation that ends in him telling her he’s never known anyone like her and it’s a good thing…he thinks. Maybe he says more than that and she tells him not to say things he doesn’t mean, touches his hair, “It’s just the fever talking.” “Probably.” “Try to get some rest.” Covers him up, waits until he’s asleep again and softly apologizes to him. Then we see her quietly leaving the camp, a worried glance back at him like she’s not fully convinced she’s doing the right thing.

Now that would feel meaningful, like she’s making a hard choice.

Speaking of which… I’d like it so much better if the Mounties she ran into were a complete fluke and treated, by the characters, like a miracle. This could have carried into the next episode, where Carson makes some kind of comment (being a doctor, this might carry weight from him) about how fortunate Bill was, or is, to be recovering so quickly from something that, given a handful more hours, might have been permanently damaging to his body, if not something that could have outright killed him.

(I’d push for this mostly because it doesn’t make sense that Bill, a former Mountie, would be unaware of an outpost in the area, one close enough AJ could walk to it in 7-8 hours.)

That we don’t see what AJ’s up to is…meant to make the viewer consider the possibility that she just abandoned Bill to his fate and ran away again, but it’s such a cheap trick in this instance (and completely unbelievable without more lead-in) that it would be better to just show her trying to get him help. I’d take her stumbling around in the dark at a dead run, falling down and getting right back up again, over nothing. And I’d definitely take it over just having Bill wake up without her there and panicking without��ever really finding out why he’s upset for sure. (Again, is he worried about her? Afraid she’s run off and he’s failed at his job again like Henry accused him of doing intentionally, before? Afraid of dying alone and wants to find her so that he doesn’t have to? If he’s worried about her, having him check for his gun and finding he still has it would make that a good option.)

Show AJ really going out of her way for him. Why not? It makes her likable. Falling down and twisting her ankle and keeping on anyway? Sure! And then she stumbles on this little mill town or something and there just happens to be an escort of Mounties moving through heading somewhere for a job, and then she has to get them to come with her, convince them that she’s worth listening to. We’ve mostly seen AJ be incompetent so it might be nice to see her doing something well. Then showing her return to an empty camp tells us she’s good at remembering things/good with directions (because she’s found her way back) while also giving us a peek at her reaction to finding him gone, and that fear she’d have to feel, because he could be literally anywhere (and when she left he was in pretty bad shape so it’s not likely he’ll be able to call out to them even if he does hear them).

That makes her finding him feel rewarding. He could say he was worried about her, which would give us a moment where he admits something genuine and kind. (And I’d probably write that dialogue with him just earnest asking her why she didn’t take his gun, and then admitting he was worried.)

That helps the goodbye, just a few hours later, feel like it comes too soon. Like there could be more but can’t be right now. Like it’ll be coming later. Which is satisfying enough for these characters at this time, IMO.

The problem with these “fixes” is that they’d take at least a full episode to implement, one without scenes featuring other characters.

What I’m trying to get at is this: there’s nothing wrong with breaking up plots like this over a couple of episodes to ensure the whole story—or a lot of it—is told, and moreover, is fulfilling and satisfying when it ends.

The rattlesnake bite plotline didn’t feel satisfying because Bill was so cruel to AJ in earlier episodes that the lack of resolution between them, the lack of an actual conversation beyond that somewhat one-sided, “I care about you and I don’t know why because you’re mean to me”, ruins the attempt at resolution that the series gives us…which is a kiss. A kiss doesn’t make up for the things Bill said to her, intentionally digging at her to hurt her feelings (and in front of other people, too). We know he actually cares about her and did the right thing from the start because he shows her the telegram, but it still doesn’t feel like it’s enough.

While he was busy hurting and feeling bad and afraid of dying alone, they could have had an actual meaningful conversation.

Yes, I get that Bill was under the impression that she was using him, and that because he was feeling some attraction to her (physically and personality-wise), being used hurt him pretty badly, but a kiss doesn’t wash away the complicated interaction they’ve had. AJ deserved more than that by the end of the episode. I know she’s not everyone’s favorite character, but giving her and Bill a plotline that twisted both of them to fit into specific roles to force the story to work? Wasn’t doing either of them any favors.

With more screentime, more organic interactions between the characters, and raw emotion (especially from Bill, who isn’t very good at Relationships or Feelings), the resolution could have felt acceptable in the “for now” sense, because we’d feel like the characters would have the chance to work things out—that this is a temporary way to say, “Yeah there’s something between us and we’ll deal with/explore it later.” Or, “I don’t have the strength or time to hash this out right now but this is what I feel.”

After all, in the end, the first thing Bill did was try to right something he felt he did wrong, which wasn’t to say, “Hey I was trying to help you this whole time,” but, I think, showing her proof to ease her fear about her future. He felt guilty about withholding that information from her, knowing it frightened her (and she was brave enough to try and go through with it anyway just to get on with her life).

So there was an attempt at something good. But the scenes were so short and incomplete-feeling that the message ended up being lost in the drama. Again, unfortunate, because there was plenty of room in the basic idea of the plot for some really genuine interaction between these characters.

My point with this long rambling post, using one specific plot example, was to say that I think S6 might be moving in the direction of longer, more time intensive plots that are resolved a litttle more slowly and without as much hurry to tie things up with a neat bow by the end of the episode. It would make sense. The earlier seasons were pretty successful with their plot juggling, mostly because they only juggled 2 or 3 an episode, and didn’t always resolve them all within that episode. Doing this would benefit the series a lot, and would help prevent dreaded plotline faux pas like, you know, the rattlesnake bite plotline, which just felt crammed into a single episode when I think we can all agree, could have been interesting if it had been given the time it deserved. With more time, I feel like the showrunners would have had some better writing for it, too.

#when calls the heart #answered mail #anonymously asked #character studies and information #analysis and meta discussion #aj foster #bill avery

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