#'my soul is dying. i feel my spine turn to sand and bitter cotton. there is no more joy and i am a hostage of my own making.'

[miodiodavinci]

i've been going through my twitter and working on cleaning out old irrelevant rants (like all the times i complained about my art or went on and on about how sick i was of ace discourse) and personal life details that no one really needs to know (dealing with the leech and fighting with siblings) and just

it really is so so clear that i have adhd and have difficulty regulating my emotions skdfhgls

#i am scrolling so so much and yelling 'SLOW DOWN!!! SLOW DOWN!!!! STOP POSTING!!!!!!!!!!' #literally every little thought and whim went onto that account and now everything pre-2020 is just an endless stream of meaningless thought #it's legitimately like chewing on styrofoam #more importantly you can Very Clearly See the ongoing issues with burn out and being ruled by a novelty-driven brain #by which i mean there is so much 'YEAYEAYEA YIPPEE' followed by #'my soul is dying. i feel my spine turn to sand and bitter cotton. there is no more joy and i am a hostage of my own making.' #and 'i want to work on these things. i want to work on those things. i do not want to work on this thing.' #followed at least 25% of the time with #'I SHIFTED THE COVER UP A KEY AND NOW IT'S BALLER YEAYEYAYEYAYEYA' #my brain really does function on novelty and impulse huh . . . . . . . . . . . . . . #hell on earth frankly w