#(nix's secret desire to be anything from accepted to barely tolerated by other living souls especially angels)

[godzexperiment]

Nix, under most circumstances will not offer up their thoughts on god/god's abandoning creation and all that- but usually there is plenty of glimpses or moments where it's like "I dedicate this fuck you to my maker." Usually chalks the whole thing up as 'complicated favoring strong disdain and it only makes sense, inevitable that would peace out'. Wouldn't place any weight, credence to the concept of an return. Or buy into schemes/even if solid instructions of 'hey do x, y, z i'll return' exist far more likely to sabotage such things. Solidly certain won't be any return but terror,etc will lead to "well just in case- I really need to counteract or derail that process." Generally tries to avoid all the various emotions/takes, or conversation regarding it. Tendency to not subtly roll eyes if somebody is all praise for god,etc. However isn't typically outright about it. Acknowledges that his experience is very much an unique one, stranger connection than that of say angels who might've been praised/got to have connection with more than just themselves+ the isolation of a tool shed, barely much real attention from god give or take. (it can vary with verse/moment- if is just non ending topic of conversation an outburst may be pretty likely)

#<< falling apart at the seams i cant deny >> headcanons #(thoughts of nix wanting accepted only for the fear to make them wreck even the vaguest scheme to reach god) #(nix: pfft all of this is not even a speck that crosses that mind very likely) #(somebody: so perhaps creating peace among everybody will bring god back) #(nix: that is unlikely to happen nor work but i feel this desire to ensure it will be even less successful) #(nix's secret desire to be anything from accepted to barely tolerated by other living souls especially angels) #(vs lacking lots of social skills and countless behavior etc that could destroy such things) #(gets taken under an siblings wing maybe with their good intents and since its so unknown territory picking a fight) #(which really extreme cases? realities where nix actively raises so much hell just to ensure and secure god's absence) #(is such an intriguing concept) #(i am totally typing up an open for it)