#(when instead you can have the spectre of yr toxic 'femininity is a race yr assigned to run' conditioning lurch up out of the sludge!!)

[aeide-thea]

you would think that actively wanting to look masc would deactivate yr reflexive '😔 at being unfeminine' reaction but, alas,

#like literally it's like. would i feel better if i were more ~delicate~ in XYZ ways. absolutely i would not #like i imagine that and it's like. yikes no that image is some uncanny valley snapchat filter shit #the way i look is correct for me and could only be improved by getting butcher #and yet. shame like handkerchiefs!!! #brains r insane. sometimes you really do relate to all these SFF stories abt like. alien processes/consciousnesses lurking in yr head #like yeah there IS some other bitch tucked away in there like athena barbie and nothing she advocates is good for me! #(anyway. prompted by seeing a non-moot's Feminine Selfie and having a minor crisis abt it.) #(absolutely idiotic of me bc like. why shd their appearance have ANY implications for me whatsoever. we're different people.) #(but why have feelings you can intellectually & ethically endorse) #(when instead you can have the spectre of yr toxic 'femininity is a race yr assigned to run' conditioning lurch up out of the sludge!!) #(god.) #the psyche #what is gender we just don't know