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the-bjd-community-confess · 4 years

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DoA megapost (22 confessions)

Mod: So https://true-bjd-confessions.tumblr.com/post/189300138511/mod-due-to-excessive-offtopic-arguing-in-the

All you guys’ pending DoA confessions presented in no specific order, before we move into the hold, as announced above.

To be clear: I think this is a feature DoA should have yesterday. It’s completely inappropriate to force people to use deadnames and names which are related to traumatic life experiences, or be banned.

However, *weary sigh, gesturing at the multiple 70+ reply confessions on this topic* people told me they were finding the rapidly escalating discussion to be upsetting and offputting, and that’s not my goal for this blog. ❤️

I am exceptionally weary of all the DoA hate over the person who got banned over making a new account after not being allowed to change their user name. DoA isn’t the only doll forum out there. If you don’t like their rules, don’t join. I for one find their rules about on- and off-topic dolls to be unfair and arbitrary as hell, but in the end it comes down to their house, their rules. Move on.

~Anonymous

Us: Sure would be nice to maybe be able to change your name on DOA.

Some of y’all: Are you asking for anarchy?? If we allow this, what’s next?? A reasonable review of outdated rules??? The rules are there for a reason!!1! The reason may be antiqued because technology has updated and changed since then, meaning there are better solutions available, but it’s still a reason so we DEFINITELY should NEVER change!! Change is too scary for me. :( You’re bullies who want to be special :((( Stop that :(

~Anonymous

I love seeing people get so offended at anon saying “bigots”. How do you know it was about you ? Guilty conscience? DOA could allow name changes if they really wanted to. There are other hobbies where they forbid certain people from entering forums while still allowing name changes. It’s not hard if you really care.

~Anonymous

Honestly the way people fall all over themselves to defend DoA against any sort of criticism (regardless of how you personally feel about the validity of said criticism, reader) makes me glad I never got into the community aspect of this hobby. It's just... stressful.

~Anonymous

The transphobia in the comments on this blog in particular are so gross. Being a bigot makes your dolls instantly hideous. And no, I’m not saying everyone who is defending DOAs decision is transphobic. I’m talking about the one who thinks trans people transitioning is wrong and their friends. You’re gross and so are your dolls.

~Anonymous

scammers can & will get around DOA's no name change policy, it's really not that safe. also, DOA isn't the only website which allows the sale of high-value items.

~Anonymous

First it's "if you want name changes coded in DoA, offer to do it yourself!", then it's "why tf would DoA accept some rando to help code their site?" make up your goddamn mind, your argument is falling apart.

Also when did this issue become "DoA vs trans people"? Like, I like DoA yet I also recognize it should be more accessible and updated for the modern userbase. I want it to become as good as it can be because I like the community and would hate to see it die out like so many other forum sites do. Yes, it has flaws- and believe me, the folks who get extremely upset about the idea of admitting that embarrass me- but I liked the format since I was new to the hobby. I just wish it was more inclusive!

~Anonymous

girlisav3rb: "this isn't about exclusion or leaving anyone out". Also girlisav3rb: "I'm just kicking your punk ass off [obvious metaphor for DoA]" yyyyiiiiikkkees

~Anonymous

The DOA username debate is really starting to feel like 4 people's personal beefs against each other. It isn't really about dolls and I wish it wasn't dominating all the confessions here. I don't really care about watching pomoaples, pupkinspce, aigisthewlve and tellmeifthursday make fools of themselves daily.

~Anonymous

10.

Say it louder for the people in the back: IF YOU INSIST ON NAME CHANGES FOR DOA, THEN VOLUNTEER YOUR CODING EXPERTISE. Don't know how to code and are just squawking about something you can't directly contribute towards? Then shut up or offer up money so the mods can hire a computer programmer to make the changes you're DEMANDING from a FREE service.

~Anonymous

11.

God it's so painfully obvious to see how many of the people defending DoA on the grounds that name changes would destroy the integrity of the website have never ever worked on or even been part of a forum or really any website of any kind in their lives. Seriously arguing that "the database" would break if you changed a name like?? No??? Have you ever seen a server backend before? You can automate this shit, you know, keep a log of former names, just... it's not some big huge challenge???

~Anonymous

12.

I don't have a horse in the trans name change race but calling DoA one of the friendlies communities around is abject bullshit lmao. There's not a more elitist, paranoid, abusive community this side of comic books -- but that kind of goes for this hobby as a whole, let's be honest.

~Anonymous

13.

THE RULES ARE IMPORTANT WE CAN't cHANGE THE RULES IT WILL LEAD TO CHAOS IF WE CHANGE ONE RULE WHERE WILL IT END THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!! In my town it used to be THE RULES that POC have to go to separate schools and use separate bathrooms, but sure, the rules are the most important thing, not the people. And before anyone says cOmPaRiNg DoLlS tO rAciSm, 1) shitting on trans people IS a form of prejudice you smoothbrains, and 2) my ass is POC and I call it like I see it. Check yourselves.

~Anonymous

14.

I personally think DOA should just.. go away? It’s been around for years, most people use it as reference rather than a community anymore. Everything is on FaceBook and Instagram now, DOA is pretty much just a glorified Dolly Dictionary at this point. Besides, if they aren’t going to change an Incredibly simple, easy thing to change just to accommodate transitioning people, it’s not the best place to be.

~Anonymous

15.

I mean about the whole rules is rules is rules thing about doa: the thing is, some rules are there for a reason and obviously do need to be respected whether you agree with them or not, like don’t block fire exits, murder is bad, etc. but some rules eventually become outdated and need to be changed to keep up with society, and that doesn’t make the people pointing out that they need to be changed evil or entitled or spoiled. Imagine if we all still had to drive 10 mph everywhere because when someone pointed out that car technology had improved since 1915 and the speed limit should be increased accordingly everyone had just shouted them down with “BUT TEH RUUULLLEESS!!!” You’d be pretty interested in getting some of this “special treatment” yourself so you could get to work on time, huh?

~Anonymous

16.

Honestly the easiest solution would be let people change their names only once and have it trackable.. as a trans dude its NOT that deep.

~Anonymous

17.

I notice that the unrelenting attacks on DoA are now even using the same phraseology along with the name-calling and implications of sinister motives. These are textbook bullying tactics. Next is the boycott, except that most of these people already say they don’t use the forum because they are just too “21st Century” for it.

Luckily this is just a confession board and no matter how many folks you manage to rile up here, it’s not going to affect DoA. Now, this is why I love DoA–you can’t go on their own site and spew this nonsense. They have Rules. They are Strict. They attempt to avoid drama, especially off-topic drama, and they don’t allow meanness, vulgarity or obscenity. If you’re looking for a pleasant, safe space, it’s your best bet.

~Anonymous

18.

Easy to lay bigotry, laziness, stupidity and worse on DoA mods for not just accepting tales of trauma and pasts to erase. But the internet has always been full of lies by people trying to get their own way or escape consequences. Not just pro scammers. People who cry things like illness, trauma, disaster, family or pet problems over and over to get sympathy for demands or as all-purpose excuses. Recast ownership lies. People who never got a no before, and don't like being turned down no-how.

~Anonymous

19.

I just realized that no one understands the people saying DOA can allow name changes are the people who have actually modded forums before, most forums unless they’re running a totally outdated system use user id numbers that are linked to display names, which can be changed, and you can write a simple string of simple-baby-code to show old display names on a profile, to explain it in simple terms.

~Anonymous

20.

Honestly I think that the anti-name change people are mostly just shilling for DoA because they can't believe that their precious forum with its volunteer mods could be anything but flawless. Or something like that, given how indignantly these people have *always* reacted to confessions criticizing DoA, even before the trans controversy was a thing. There have definitely been some obvious transphobes as well though, whose bile is really more suited to conservative FB pages or something. Go away!

~Anonymous

21.

the DOA mods can obviously change people's usernames because it's 2019 and basically every other site in existence can do it. they might have to change the site slightly to accomplish this. maybe there are reasons for them to choose not to do that, but let's stop pretending it's some technological impossibility.

~Anonymous

22.

How about this: Implement a system on DoA that indentifies users by a unique code and allow users to have a changeable display name. Changing the display name could become a paid feature to pay for the technical changes. Think of a system like discord has. It's a win-win situation. Thoughts?

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #TrueBJDConfessionz #BJD Confessions #DoA #Just let people change their damn usernames

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unlimitedskyeproductions · 5 years

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100 Random Things About Miriam Gurin

1: full name is Miriam Gurin - she never really brings up her middle name often so nobody's really sure what it is 2: she also responds to Miri, Her Royal Highness, and Potato 3: nobody knows why she respnds to being called Potato 4: sometimes she specifically asks to be called Potato 5: there are times when she won't respond to anything BUT Potato 6: it only gets weirder from here so if you're not prepared then stop reading this list cuz I ain't sayin it again 7: born on a Saturday at 4:00 AM on May 18th 8: 19 years old but she'll occasionally act like she's 7 for who the fuck knows why 9: really sarcastic and funny and generally super laid-back 10: doesn't really get angry about anything ever unless someone is really really annoying or rude to her on purpose 11: solid G-cup 12: do not force her to run or she will die because her boobs are very very heavy 13: often makes jokes about how large her chest is 14: has stated on several occasions that she doesn't even HAVE boobs at this point - she has natural flotation devices 15: spends about 15 hours a day eating and snacking but never gains any weight (except she does actually - it literally just goes straight to her breasts and makes them even bigger) 16: not thicc but not skinny either 17: always experimenting with crazy hairstyles 18: almost always has her hair up in uniquely designed ponytails 19: when her hair is down it literally almost touches the floor 20: her vision is 100% perfect without her glasses until you make her try to read something, and then she just instantly becomes illiterate 21: fully Japanese but perfectly fluent in English and often speaks in it around her Japanese friends just to fuck with them and make them wonder what the hell she's even saying 22: potentially self aware and knows that she doesn't even exist and is fictional 23: heterosexual bitch 24: watches a lot of american police and car-chase shows 25: can hold her breath underwater for SEVEN FUCKING MINUTES 26: possibly a marine animal 27: she'll eat any damn thing you put in front of her as long as it isn't rotten 28: she ate cow liver on a dare once and just... started buying it constantly after that because apparently it tasted fantastic? ??? 29: did this for over six months 30: A MASTER AT MARIO KART AND ONLY RIVALED IN SKILL BY BLAKE 31: literally cannot go two seconds without saying something random and completely off-topic 32: she made an online dating profile once just for shits and giggles and the information she provided was ridiculous 33: she stated that her sexuality was "maple syrup" and for her hobbies all she put was "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEED" despite the fact that she's not even a stoner 34: SHE'S A TOTAL SLUT FOR DORITOS and if you ever give her any at any point she will automatically be your best friend 35: she has an entire sub-reddit called "caterpillars in hats" and it's literally just pictures she took of caterpillars she found outside either wearing tiny hats she got from doll clothes or just photoshopped to be wearing one 36: it has over 700 subscribers and she's very proud of her masterpieces 37: super flirtatious all the damn time 38: the oldest of eight sisters 39: has a thing for sexy cops 40: she knows a an actual sexy cop for reals 41: she wants a piece of dat sexy cop 42: 100% does not care about sex in any way at all 43: not apathetic, just thinks that there's way more important stuff than sex 44: like caterpillars in hats 45: perfect candidate for motorboating and she'll probably let you do that to her because she thinks it's funny 46: spends several nights a week reading creepypastas and then bingewatching stupid shit like cat memes just to cleanse her soul because it stresses her out 47: despite this she does it eVERY FUCKING NIGHT 48: she knows it's bad for her but she just keeps reading 49: firmly believes the Rake lives in her bedroom closet 50: if someone says or does something she doesn't like she respnds with a very loud "FUCK OFF, GIL" 51: she doesn't get scared easily despite all the creepypastas she reads, if anything just a bit paranoid 52: if you poke her while she's reading them she'll probably hit you with her keyboard so if you see her at the computer at 2 am make sure you clearly and audibly declare your presence before approaching 53: favorite movies are Scary Movie 1 through 5 54: personally I had no idea there was a 5th Scary Movie 55: IT CAME OUT IN 2013 FOR FUCKS SAKE 56: I got a bit sidetracked here and honestly Miriam does that a lot too 57: she has a pet tarantula that's literally the size of her fucking hand 58: she named it Fuzzy and she plays with it as if it's a fucking dog 59: all other spiders are gross to her but apparently Fuzzy is fine 60: Fuzzy isn't poisonous or anything so she'll let it just 61: sit 62: on her head 63: on any given occasion 64: because she's insane 65: she can say over 75 different swear words and insults in Latin 66: nobody knows why 67: she has double-jointed wrists and she does all kinds of weird hand tricks to freak people out 68: one of her pinkies is significantly shorter than the other and she likes to believe she's the first in a line of natural born humans who will slowly evolve to not have pinkies 69: she owns 97 bras 70: it's super hard to find ones that support her chest size so she just improvises 71: the password to her home wifi is supercalafragioulisticexpialadoscious 72: she loves seeing people's reactions when they realize she's not fucking with them and that's literally the fucking password 73: HATES PEANUT BUTTER 74: not because of the taste but because of the texture 75: she fucking loves the taste of peanut butter but can't bring herself to eat something like a peanut butter sandwich because the texture is gross to her 76: she can mimic a dog barking perfectly and it's scarily accurate 77: likes to come up behind people and just bark at them to scare them 78: once disguised herself as a potted bush in a public area and scared people for fun 79: needs to make a youtube channel for pranks but she's too lazy 80: NEVER MISSES AN EPISODE OF JERRY SPRINGER 81: suffers from frequent back pain becsuse her chest is so fucking huge 82: she weighed just her breasts on a scale once - both combined were 48 pounds 83: wants to get them reduced to a nice, classy, tolerable B-cup 84: but again she's lazy and also she doesn't really wanna deal with a surgery 85: almost always wearing eitber pants or shorts 86: she literally only owns one dress and it's black 87: the dress is perfect and both casual and classy events, and she wears it for weddings, funerals, and other random social events where it would be inappropriate to show up in jeans and a t-shirt (her preferred outfit combo) 88: likes to put song lyrics in one language into Google translate, then translate them back and then sing the fucked up wrong lyrics 89: investing money into building a blinding laser weapon 90: her motto is "Life will go on like your bra strap goes on your chest" 91: when people mention that one's bra strap doesn't actually go on one's chest she just grins and... says nothing until someone awkwardly changes the subject 92: likes saying weird random things in conversation just to mess everyone up 93: has an unnecessary fear of moths for some reason 94: HAS NO FUCKING IDEA HOW TO JUMP ROPE AT ALL 95: also can't use a treadmill 96: she can run for about three seconds before she just falls on her face 97: calls everyone Joe 98: both friends and strangers 99: she doesn't care who you are - if you're in your life, your name is Joe 100: all in all she's a very good potato

#unlimitedskyeproductions #miriam gurin #oc info #100 random things

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mustafinaandhergirls · 6 years

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Here's Aly's statement that she was unable to read in court.

"Below is the statement that I was prepared to read at the sentencing hearing.

Realizing that you are a victim of sexual abuse is a horrible feeling. Words cannot adequately capture the level of disgust I feel when I think about how this happened. Larry abused his power and the trust I and so many others placed in him, and I am not sure I will ever come to terms with how horribly he manipulated and violated me.

Larry was the USA Gymnastics national team doctor and the U.S. Olympic Team doctor. He was trusted by so many and took advantage of countless athletes, and their families. The effects of his actions are far-reaching, since abuse goes way beyond the moment, often haunting survivors for the rest of their lives, making it difficult for them to trust others, and impacting their relationships. It is all the more devastating when such abuse comes at the hand of such a highly respected doctor, since it leaves victims questioning the organizations — and even the medical profession itself — upon which so many rely.

I am writing this letter to share some of my story, in hopes that it will help others understand the profound impact Larry’s abuse has had on me, how his betrayal of trust has changed me and how his actions years ago continue to affect my daily life.

From the age of eight, all I wanted to do was go to the Olympics. I loved gymnastics with all my heart, and worked as hard as I could. Larry, you knew how badly I wanted to be the best I could be, you knew how hard I worked, and that I would do absolutely anything to be on the team. You were my doctor, and like most people, I was taught to trust doctors. I believed that you had my best interests at heart, and you made sure that message was reinforced, insisting your inappropriate touch was for medical reasons and that your care would help me get to the Olympic Games. You promised me that you would heal my injuries. You gave me gifts to make me think you were a good person, to make me believe you were my friend. You were nice so that we would trust you, to make it easier for you to take advantage of so many people, including me. But you lied to me. You lied to all of us.

And because of you, I now have a hard time trusting other people. When I go to the doctor, especially a male doctor, I am scared and uncomfortable. Even if that doctor is recommended as the best, I am skeptical because I was told you were the best, and you certainly weren’t. I am afraid that another doctor will mistreat me and abuse his power like you did. In turn, I feel guilty that I harbor these doubts and suspicions.

This mistrust and guilt has had a very real impact on both my physical and mental well-being. For example, when I started to realize what Larry had done to me, I avoided certain treatments that gymnasts rely upon, especially during intense Olympic training. I should have gotten massages three times a week or so, but I was too afraid (even if the therapist was a woman). I lost confidence in my recovery, and this uncertainty began to undermine my training. Even today, I find myself scared that something bad will happen to me when I seek any medical treatment.

The stress of training to make an Olympic team and competing in the games is all-consuming, and success demands laser focus. As my training ramped up, my stress about the competition increased. But added to that was the stress that came with trying to come to terms with the abuse, and constantly wondering how such a thing ever could have happened. This added layer of stress was more than I could handle. It was as though I couldn’t begin to let myself believe what had happened to me. It was too much to bear.

I have come to realize that everyone deals with trauma differently. As a gymnast, we train to control our emotions under pressure. We become good at compartmentalizing. I became almost numb to my feelings. It was the only way I could survive the Olympic process. It was exhausting. The stress of constantly keeping certain thoughts in the back of my mind may have allowed me to focus in the moment, but it became more and more painful over time, both physically and emotionally. I knew when I finally allowed myself to feel again, it would be one of the hardest things I ever had to do.

I was right. When I allowed myself to start thinking about what Larry had done, I was overcome by anxiety. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, like someone was pushing on my chest and my throat was closing up. I couldn’t sleep well because I would have terrible nightmares. I never felt rested. The anxiety got so intense that I needed to see a doctor — a female — who prescribed anxiety medication so that I could function, and sleeping medication to help resolve my extreme exhaustion. After adjusting the dosages of some of the medication, I had a bad reaction and lost consciousness. I woke up to my terrified mom calling 911. I was loaded into an ambulance and taken to the hospital, where the doctors realized the issue was a side effect from one of the medications. My doctor has recommended that I try other medications to help me cope, but the trauma of what happened with those medications put me over the edge. It just added to the list of things I was anxious and stressed about.

After this experience, I decided I needed to allow myself to feel what I had been suppressing for so long. I had spent so much time and energy trying to block out all the pain and trauma, and I realized it was just too much for me to contain. It was the most difficult period in my life. I was exhausted, barely able to do things I loved. I had no energy. I felt sad, anxious and confused. I couldn’t understand how someone could be so evil. And, painfully, Larry and his actions made me hate gymnastics for a time. Larry, you made me feel so uncomfortable and sad, and you made me believe the sport had let me down.

I am trying now to take back my control, to remind myself that Larry has no power over me. It is never easy, but I am fighting to believe that the sport — which I do love — is independent of Larry and those who allowed him to do what he did. I’ve decided that I can’t let him take gymnastics away from me.

Despite my best efforts to regain control, I still have my triggers. My work requires frequent travel, and I feel anxious traveling by myself. I find myself constantly looking around, paranoid and afraid to be alone. When I am at a hotel by myself and I order room service, I worry a male will deliver the food. I’ve had to develop strategies and coping mechanisms. If a male knocks on the door, my heart begins to race. I hold the door open as he drops off the food and keep it open until he leaves. I often wonder if I am hurting their feelings by being so obviously distrusting of them. I always used to give people the benefit of the doubt, but if a decorated doctor who served on the national team for over 30 years turned out to be a monster, then how can I trust anybody? Now, I’ll often catch myself being scared that people I meet are like Larry. And I hate that. I hate that Larry took away my trust of others.

One of my best friends is also a victim of Larry — or a survivor, as I prefer to say. I thought we would be friends forever because we had gone through the best and worst moments together. But I think I remind her too much of what Larry did to us, and our friendship has suffered. Abuse isn’t something you can just bring up with anyone, and I often wonder if I ever will find anyone like her who gets me so well and knows just what to say to make me feel better.

This situation has also affected my relationship with my parents, with whom I’ve always been extremely close. Over the last year, so many of my conversations with my parents have been about dealing with the trauma of what happened. I’m so grateful for their love and support, and I know I wouldn’t be able to get through this without them, but I don’t want to talk about him all the time.

Still, there are so many moving parts to figuring out how to process and understand the abuse. While training I was often away from my family. Now that I finally have a more flexible schedule, I try to make up for lost time with my parents and siblings. I hate that Larry’s abuse has affected my relationship with my family, and how we interact. My sisters are in high school; one of them is in her senior year, a very exciting time. A lot of this past year has been about Larry, processing and dealing with his abuse. I try to discuss it with my parents when my sisters aren’t around, but sometimes they walk into a room when we are talking about it and I can’t help but feel bad that they have to worry about this. It is not fair. Abuse impacts the whole family.

I want more than anything to make sure the next generation never goes through something like this. I don’t want anyone to experience the pain, anxiety, fear and other horrible feelings that stem from abuse. Every 98 seconds another person experiences sexual assault, and sexual violence affects hundreds of thousands of Americans each year. That is hundreds of thousands too many. One in four girls and one in six boys will be molested before they turn 18. Too many abusers do horrible things and get away with it. Too many abusers are master manipulators, who somehow make those they abuse feel guilty. And worse, many find a way to convince adults to support and protect them. Larry’s abuse started 30 years ago. At least that is the first reported incident. In those 30 years, many survivors came forward about Larry’s abuse. Adult after adult, many in positions of authority, protected this monster, telling each survivor it was O.K., that Larry was not abusing them. Larry was decorated by USA Gymnastics, by the United States Olympic Committee — he was even named to an advisory board to come up with policies that would protect athletes from this kind of abuse! Knowing this is like being violated all over again. How many hundreds would have been saved if even one adult had listened and acted? It sickens me to know that for years and years, so many put an institution, or an organization, or medals, money and reputation, above the safety and welfare of young, innocent people. We must listen and take proper action. Shame on all those who actively protected Larry and shame on all those who looked the other way. Those who looked the other way are just as guilty. And shame on you, Larry, you are the worst example of humanity.

Maybe by speaking out, by sharing my story and the way my daily life continues to be impacted by Larry’s depraved actions, I can help other survivors feel less alone, less isolated, and encourage them to speak up and to get help.

I ask that you give Larry the strongest possible sentence (which his actions deserve), for by doing so, you will send a message to him and to other abusers that they cannot get away with their horrible crimes, that they will be exposed for the evil they are, and they will be punished to the maximum extent of the law. Maybe knowing that Larry is being held accountable for his abuse will help me and the other survivors feel less alone, like we’re being heard, and open up pathways for healing.

I hope today you impose the maximum sentence the court allows and I hope people begin to talk about how common and insidious abuse is. Every person we hold accountable for abuse makes a difference.

Thank you."

#aly raisman #what courage #larry nassar #TW - abuse #TW - child abuse #may he rot forevermore

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usagingy · 6 years

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Send me numbers..

Wait, these are actually hella cute questions.”

Source: bambwie

— 1. Who was the last person you held hands with? A friend from uni. There’s nothing romantic between us, was just for fun.

2. Are you outgoing or shy? Shy. As. Frick.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My niece. She’s precious!

4. Are you easy to get along with? I honestly don’t know. I guess so?

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Pretty sure they would, yeah.

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Usually people who are really easy to talk to and who are very kind and sweethearted (is that a word?)

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? HaHaHaHahaHAAHhahaAHAhaha!!... No

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? A good friend from high school. I just have platonic feelings for her, but I still miss her.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Depends on how detailed the conversation is. If it’s not super detailed, then no, it doesn’t make me uncomfortable.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Probably the friend from high school I mentioned in #8.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “I was just confused” (boring, I know)

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Nine Point Eight - Mili

Candy Store - Heathers: The Musical

Here Comes A Thought - Steven Universe

Family Party - Kyary Pamyu Pamyu

Holding Out For A Hero - Bonnie Tyler

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? If they’re really gentle with it, then yes. But when people get rough with it then I hate it.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? I guess so, I’m not sure tbh.

15. What good thing happened this summer? This “summer” only just started, so I can’t really say much, but I hung out with my brother and his friends.

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? I can’t answer this because I’ve never kissed anyone.

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? I don’t see why it couldn’t be possible. There are a lot of planets out there, so it would make sense if at least one sustained life on it.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Yeah, it’s cool, yo.

19. Do you like bubble baths? Ooh, I haven’t had one in so long, I can’t remember if I do.

20. Do you like your neighbors? I don’t even know my neighbors lmao

21. What are you bad habits? I procrastinate, I take too long to get ready, I am sometimes too open, I pry a bit too much, etc, etc.

22. Where would you like to travel? Germany, I guess, they have really good chocolate.

23. Do you have trust issues? Yep, trust issues with myself.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Going to bed.

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Excluding more inappropriate areas, my upper body, specifically the front part.

26. What do you do when you wake up? Sit there for a while, ponder life, check my phone if it’s not dead, then get up and do the same thing while standing up.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? I don’t really wish my skin was different, but if I had to choose one I’d say darker cuz I’m pale af.

28. Who are you most comfortable around? Hmmm, I guess I’d have to say I’m most comfortable around that one friend I mentioned in #8 again.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Considering I don’t have any ex’s, no, they have not.

30. Do you ever want to get married? Yepppppppp

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? Currently it is possible; however, I’m getting my hair cut soon, so it probably won’t be long enough in a little while.

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? None of them. I’m ace.

33. Spell your name with your chin. I’m not even gonna try this right now.

34. Do you play sports? What sports? Nope, what’re sports?

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Without TV; music is too precious.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Several times, yo. I don’t know how to talk to people about that kind of thing.

37. What do you say during awkward silences? Usually nothing. Jk, I will often ask how someone else is doing, but it goes back to awkward silence again really quickly.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? I’m not sure I really have a super ideal fantasy for a dream guy/girl, but I guess I’ll go for it. Generally I’m attracted to guys who are really soft and kind, usually significantly taller than me, usually with little to no facial hair, and most frequently they have dark hair and dark eyes. Generally girls that I find attractive are around my height, not usually much shorter than me. Usually they have dark hair and dark eyes, are very sweet, but also can be very assertive and driven. For anyone, I’d like to have similar interests, of course, because that makes it easier to have conversations. Also, the main reason I’m attracted to people of certain heights is just because of how it feels to hug people of those heights. (Sorry, this was a long one)

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? GAMESTOP. Just game stores in general, and also the Pokémon stores in Japan.

40. What do you want to do after high school? I’ve already graduated high school and I still don’t know what I want to do after high school. I’m going to uni, originally for computer engineering, but now for theatre and electronic media performance.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Not everyone, I guess. I think it’s more on a case by case basis, depending on the severity of the offense.

42. If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean? Depends. Being quiet could mean that I’m uncomfortable (usually with strangers), comfortable (usually with close friends), thinking deeply about random shiznit, or just don’t know what to say.

43. Do you smile at strangers? Depends on how I’m feeling. I usually don’t look at other people because I don’t want them to think that I’m being creepy towards them.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Outer space; the bottom of the ocean is terrifying.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Usually the need for food, but sometimes the need for cleanliness.

46. What are you paranoid about? Way too many things to list here, so I’ll list a few. Abandonment, rejection, the feeling that there is a hole in my clothes, the feeling that people are watching and judging everything I do, the feeling that I’m going to unintentionally hurt people or things, etc.

47. Have you ever been high? Nope.

48. Have you ever been drunk? Nope.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Not that I can think of.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Brown with yellow letters.

51. Ever wished you were someone else? Too often, yes.

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? I’d like to get rid of my envy and jealousy.

53. Favourite makeup brand? Don’t have one.

54. Favourite store? Pokémon store.

55. Favourite blog? Don’t have one.

56. Favourite colour? YELLOW

57. Favourite food? Curry rice with creamy crab croquettes.

58. Last thing you ate? Beef curry rice.

59. First thing you ate this morning? Haven’t eaten yet, but it’ll probably be Life cereal.

60. Ever won a competition? For what? Won a couple Pokémon tournaments. One made me a gym leader for a League, another got me a New 3DS XL.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? Nope.

62. Been arrested? For what? Nope.

63. Ever been in love? Yepppp

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? And this is where I’d put the story of my first kiss. IF I HAD ONE.

65. Are you hungry right now? Yessssss

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? Considering I don’t really have many tumblr friends (I think?) I like my real friends more.

67. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook

68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now? Nope

70. Names of your bestfriends? Jay, Natz, Xixi, Frances, Aleigha, Kirbs, Dani, Hunter, Marissa, (the list goes on and on, I can’t decide on just a few best friends)

71. Craving something? What? Takoyaki!

72. What colour are your towels? Brown

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two (2)

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? I used to, but since ya mentioned it, I might start doing it again.

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? At least 20, question mark???

75. Favourite animal? Tie between monkeys, foxes, and rabbits.

76. What colour is your underwear? Idk, it changes everyday.

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Depends on the quality. Usually vanilla since too much chocolate gives me a stomach ache.

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Strawberry banana, but since it’s really uncommon I usually settle for mint chocolate chip.

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Yellow

80. What colour pants? Blue

81. Favourite tv show? Steven Universe

82. Favourite movie? Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? I haven’t seen either, I’m trash

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Same as above

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Same as above above

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Dory

87. First person you talked to today? Friend staying at my house

88. Last person you talked to today? Friend staying at my house

89. Name a person you hate? I don’t think I hate anyone, that’s a really strong word.

90. Name a person you love? Kaia (my niece)

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Nope

92. In a fight with someone? Not right now, I think? If I am, I’ve forgotten.

93. How many sweatpants do you have? Quite a lot, but I don’t wear them.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? Too many, probs over 15, but I only regularly wear two of them.

95. Last movie you watched? Psycho-Pass: The Movie

96. Favourite actress? Emma Watson

97. Favourite actor? Does John Mulaney count?

98. Do you tan a lot? I straight up burn, so nope

99. Have any pets? Nope

100. How are you feeling? Neutral in general

101. Do you type fast? Depending on the situation.

102. Do you regret anything from your past? Toooooo muchhh

103. Can you spell well? Sometimes

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Lotsa old friends.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yeah, not really a fan of them.

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? I think maybe once or twice? I don’t know about many people liking me.

107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yeah, but it was when I was super young so I don’t remember what it was like.

108. What should you be doing? Probably applying for scholarships.

109. Is something irritating you right now? Only my intrusive thoughts, but that’s all the time.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Pretty much every time I’ve liked someone, yeah.

111. Do you have trust issues? I think this was answered already, but yes.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? The last person I cried full out in front of was my mom, but I have had a couple tears run down my face when in the dorms at uni.

113. What was your childhood nickname? Gingerbread, Gingersnaps

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yep yep

115. Do you play the Wii? Yesssssss

116. Are you listening to music right now? No, but I should be.

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Hell yeah

118. Do you like Chinese food? Hell yeah!

119. Favourite book? Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

120. Are you afraid of the dark? Yes, but only if I’m unfamiliar with the area.

121. Are you mean? I don’t know? Sometimes

122. Is cheating ever okay? Nope. Never. Absolutely not. If you cheat, I have big problems with you.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? I probably couldn’t lol

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? Not really? But it depends. I’d say it’s possible upon the first meeting, but not by just seeing the person. I think truly falling in love with someone purely based on their appearance is rather shallow and difficult to do.

125. Do you believe in true love? Kinda? I don’t really believe that there’s one specific person that you’re destined to be with, but I do believe that people can develop a strong enough connection with each other that it could be considered true love.

126. Are you currently bored? Somewhat, but it’s rare for me to not be somewhat bored.

127. What makes you happy? Long hugs with people I care about, snuggles, some video games and anime, having deep conversations with friends.

128. Would you change your name? I don’t know what I’d change it to, so no.

129. What your zodiac sign? Libra

130. Do you like subway? Yeah

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? If I like them back, then try to make a relationship work out I guess. If not, I try my best to let them down gently and comfort them if possible.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? I think this was answered before as well, but friend mentioned in #8.

133. Favourite lyrics right now? The entirety of Here Comes A Thought.

134. Can you count to one million? Yeah? I’m not sure what this question is supposed to mean.

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? “Yeah, I’ve done my homework *has homework on computer screen*”

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed. Open feels too insecure.

137. How tall are you? 5′ 7″

138. Curly or Straight hair? Straight

139. Brunette or Blonde? Brunette(?) I don’t know what this is asking, but I find dark hair attractive.

140. Summer or Winter? Winterrrrrr. No bugs and no sunburn.

141. Night or Day? Night, it makes it feel like emotions are heightened.

142. Favourite month? Never thought about this, but I guess February.

143. Are you a vegetarian? Nah, I like chicken too much.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Milk chocolate. Dark chocolate is too rich and makes my stomach hurt. White chocolate has a flavor that I think does best at complimenting other things, like fruit. Individually I like milk best because it’s flavorful, but not too rich.

145. Tea or Coffee? Coffee, but only if it has a lot of sweetness mixed with the bitterness.

146. Was today a good day? Today has barely started, but it seems like it’ll be a decent day.

147. Mars or Snickers? Snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote? "My vibe is like, hey you could probably pour soup in my lap and I'll apologize to you." -- John Mulaney

149. Do you believe in ghosts? No? Idk, I don’t think about that stuff.

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “The recommended dietary intake of potassium ranges from 500 mg to 700 mg per day for infants between 6 and 12 months.”

#ask game filled in #because I'm bored #sorry for such a long post

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rilenerocks · 4 years

Text

The other morning, I walked into my house after working out in the yard. As usual, I was sweaty, my normal state once the temperature rises above 70• F. My standard complaint has always been the same – “man, am I hot.” When Michael was alive, he’d always answer that comment with the same response – “you’re telling me.” A part of me never believed him because I was keenly aware of my physical imperfections. But he really didn’t agree with me. I was lucky enough to spend decades with someone who always made me feel beautiful and desirable. What a great gift to leave me. On this particular day, my son was clacking away at his computer at the dining room table when I came in and spouted my “hot” line. I’ve told my kids what their dad used to say to me so I asked him for the proper reply to my prompt. He refused me, saying he knew the answer but that it wasn’t appropriate for him to say it. I got it. I can see where he’d think that was an off-color remark for a son to say to his mom, even though I was just testing his memory. I said I understood his point, then told him that some day when I wasn’t around any more, he’d still remember what those words meant to me. He looked at me and asked, “and what things did your mom say that you still remember?” I was surprised by the question and initially was at a loss for a response. But I’ve been thinking about this for days.

The phrase “that’s what she said,” is an iteration of a British double entendre implying some sort of sexual behavior. Through Steve Carell’s use of it multiple times in the television series, “The Office,” the expression became popularized in America. But that sexist humor isn’t the connotation that I’m intending in this reflection. Rather, I’ve been pondering what comments, bits of advice, suggestions or instructions stick in our minds as we traverse our lives. The words you never forget, out of all those spoken to you by your family, your friends, your teachers, your mentors. In my case, I’d also include lines from books, movies and songs in that collection of the words that resonate, long after they’re initially heard. I’ve been trying to think of what different people have said to me, words that have stayed with me, which pop up randomly in my mind. And maybe even more significantly, what have I said to others, my family, my friends or even acquaintances, that they still hear in their minds. Isn’t it true that we are composite creatures, made up of input from so many sources we can’t possibly distinguish what got integrated into our perception of self? I remember once I was walking along on a sidewalk, and coming toward me was a woman pushing a stroller with a baby aboard, somewhere between 15-18 months old. As we got close, the baby and I made eye contact which we held for about ten seconds. As I moved past them, I remember thinking that the little moment of recognition we shared is stored somewhere in that person’s brain. I was old enough to remember that brief connection. For the baby who hopefully grew up, my image is tucked away somewhere, in the folds of its brain.

But the words, though. My mind is packed with memories that I’m lucky enough to access regularly. If that ends, I hope I’m not alive. During this pandemic experience which I share with countless people, I’ve turned inward to reflect on my life. Having the ability to recall the places I’ve lived, literally strolling through physical spaces in my brain is fascinating. I’m reminded of the lyrics from the Beatles song “In My Life,” which is an example of the words that stuck with me over these 55 years since its release when I was just fourteen. As I’ve been sifting through my son’s question – what I remember of what my mother said to me, the aural landscape has gotten bigger. I’ve even given it a title – Ancestral Noise. What a surprising study I’m in right now. Both the presence and absence of verbal memories from some people who played a central role in my life, at least for awhile, is a mystery.

For example, I can’t recall a single word my maternal grandfather said to me, despite the fact that I spent as much time with him as I did with my grandmother. I can hear her talking all the time. The insignificant comments of random and mostly irrelevant people that still ring in my head seem absurd. So I decided I had to codify some of them. Otherwise they’ll disappear when I do and although that’s inevitable to a large degree, my historian impulse is to leave tracks of myself in my little universe so that my children, grandchildren and whoever may arrive after them, will have some sense of what influences affected the me I am today. So here’s a sampling of what’s emerged from the verbal past. My ancestral noise.

Mom. I thought about her first because she was certainly the most talkative person in my life, much like I am with my family. At first, I was hard put to think of anything but her stories, the growing up ones of hardship, her small victories over her rigid mother, her love story with my dad, her wretched ill health and her remarkable survival skills. But actual words? That took a bit of digging. Eventually, I dredged some of them out. The Dorothy-isms. “I always wanted to be a dancer.” Mom was always wishing she was something other than who she was. A way of being worth noting for me as her child. I didn’t want to do that. “Never put anything in writing.” Ever paranoid, she believed in leaving no evidence which could be used against you (I guess I didn’t give that advice much weight.) “When I die, I’m never leaving you-I’m going to hover over you and protect you.” That one was interesting because the truth is, I starting protecting her when I was quite young. Everyone is entitled to the occasional illusion. “I could never survive the death of my child.” Another interesting memory for me, as I forced a tough decision on my conflicted family regarding this memory. When my brother died, my mom was afflicted with dementia. I had never forgotten what she said. I was here with her providing care in addition to holding her power of attorney. I wouldn’t let anyone tell her he was gone. A controversy ensued but I prevailed. All I could think of was her unnecessary pain and confusion as this lifelong dreaded event actually happened. She died a few months later. I’ve never regretted that decision. Maybe the most practical advice she ever gave me was to remember to be creative about keeping my marriage fresh over the long haul. Although that was impossibly sexist counsel, I did think a lot about putting my relationship with my husband first, as I wanted to be with him after our kids moved on. I implemented that philosophy. Not much sage advice after spending over 60 years with someone. She had a great sense of humor and could come up with sarcastic zingers. But there’s nothing that earth-shattering resounding in my head from mom.

Ironically, my dad, who wasn’t known for being particularly verbal, said a lot of things which carried me through different periods in my life. Parts of him were utterly childlike and ridiculous. He called the four of us kids “little drips.” “Wake up and go to sleep.” “Why don’t you dry up?” “How about taking a long walk off a short pier?” “What’s the matter with you-you got rocks in your head?” “Did you marry your teacher today?” “Did you do your scientific studies?” “You know your mother’s crazy, don’t you? I could go on. Maybe all these inanities stuck with me because mostly, his head was usually buried in a newspaper so his pronouncements were memorable. But there was serious stuff too. “You have to make a plan and stick with it even if you get offtrack for awhile.” An excellent piece of advice. “You’re going to be smarter than many people in life. The average American voter is uneducated. When you believe in something, stick to your principles and don’t back down, no matter what.” Those words are central in my daily life and always have been. “When it comes to financial decisions, you rarely hit the high or sink to the low. Aim for some reasonable goals and don’t look back.” He explained a lot about how the world works to me. He also called me names like con artist and weasel. I can’t fault him for that. I was a streetsmart kid. A squeamish guy, not as physically courageous as my mom, when he got cancer, he bravely announced that he would beat it “the way Grant took Richmond.” He only got through one round of chemo before quitting. Unable to confess that to my mom, he told me first and asked me to arrange his funeral. A young woman in my 30’s, I did what he wanted. Years later, I figured out how inappropriate a choice that was for me. I also remember how incredible I felt when, while home from college in my freshman year, I was the only person available when my grandmother called early in the morning, shouting that my grandfather had collapsed. I called the fire department and ran a mile through the snow to their apartment, winding up in an ambulance tearing down Lake Shore Drive in Chicago. No cell phones in those days, so I was on my own while my grandmother was sedated and I stayed with my grandfather, being his advocate at the tender age of eighteen. Later that evening when my parents came to the hospital and eventually took me home, my dad said, “do you realize you saved your grandfather’s life today?” I’ve never forgotten that moment. I also remember our verbal war when he threatened to disown my sister if she married a non-Jew. I told him he’d have to disown me too and reminded him that he was the one who told me to stand up for my beliefs. He found me very irritating back then. Finally, my dad was a an avid lifelong Democrat. When he was annoyed with Republicans, he’d always say, “death to the vipers.” At my sister’s wedding rehearsal dinner, her husband’s family, who were mostly on the other side of the political spectrum, were treated to my dad’s pronouncement following a few cocktails, shouting out, “the only good Republican is a dead Republican.” Oh my. Those are my most prominent memories of my dad’s voice.

I can hear my maternal grandmother’s voice frequently. An immigrant, she spoke decent English with some scrambled words like saying she was having her description, rather than prescription, filled at the drugstore. She was smart but illiterate, a product of a truly male-dominated culture. She didn’t see her way out of that. But she was sharp-tongued and used a lot of Yiddish phrases, most of them judgmental and demeaning. “Gey cocken offen yom – go take a shit in the ocean.” “Gey avek – get out of here.” “Momzer, schmendrick, schlemiel – bastard, fool and stupid, respectively.” When she thought something was funny, she’d say, “gib a kick,” which meant look at that. She told all of us grandchildren individually that each of us was the only person she could trust while she confided her complaints to everyone. She liked watching baseball because she thought the players were sexy, especially when they adjusted their protective cups. She paid attention to politics and I remember her muttering that Ronald Reagan was a stupid cowboy. She was a compulsive cleaner, plastic covering her furniture which was so sticky and hot in the summer. Perhaps her most famous line was – “you can eat off my floors.”

I barely remember any specific thing that my brother told me. He made up his own alphabet which I recall and I remember discussing world wars and predictions of what the future would look like in terms of superpowers – his money was on China. The only outstanding line I remember from my older sister was her always telling me to “modulate your voice, Renee,” because I was apparently too loud. My younger sister frequently told me that if I died, she would hurl herself into my grave. The sum total of these individual words from my siblings doesn’t sound like much in the overall scope of aural memory.

I can hear my friend Fern telling me she wanted her epitaph to be “she died smiling, if you know what I mean.” I hear my first true love Albert saying, “just for tonight, I love you.” That didn’t bode well for the future. Another boyfriend Dennis, told me that if I’d married him, he wouldn’t have wound up divorced and unhappy. That wasn’t true.

I can’t begin to list all the things Michael said to me over the years, both romantic, sarcastic and funny. “The only place I belong is with you.” “No one has a face like yours-you with the face.” “You’re the smartest person I know.” “We are cosmically connected -I’ll be with you forever.” “Take a hike.” “Life’s a hard road.” “Would you mind removing your feet from my back.” “Everything would be perfect if you’d just stop talking.” “What seems to be the greatest single problem?” “Put a cork in it.” Michael is still so alive in me. The books, music and movies we shared helped us develop a code that bound us together inside and out. He may not be here, but my dialogue with him continues daily. He’s in my head.

So what about me? What have I uttered that my kids will remember when I’m gone? I asked my daughter. Her response was, “run.” When she was driving me crazy as a young girl, there were times when I wished I believed in corporal punishment. But I didn’t. I found a benign way to express my hostility. I held her ponytail and told her to run. She was too smart to do it but it made for a memorable moment. When my son made me want to tear my hair out, I quoted a line to him from the wonderful film, Diner. I told him if he didn’t get a grip on himself, I’d hit him so hard I’d kill his whole family. Preposterous, of course. But one day with an uncooperative playmate, he repeated it to this sensitive child. I thought I’d have my kids taken away by the Department of Children and Family Services. Aside from a variety of movie lines that I adore, I do think I’ve said some things of worth to my kids. I told them about the five year rule, the premise being that whatever is happening right now, which feels so overwhelming, should make them stop and think of exactly what they were doing five years ago. Since they can never recall what that was, I remind them that five years from now, they won’t remember the intensity of this moment. Perspective is everything. I’ve told then ad nauseam that the people with the best lives are the people with the best coping skills. Everyone’s life requires coping and the better you get at managing, the better life will be. Lastly, I tell them that when you tackle problems in life, you want to be operating from a position of strength rather than one of weakness. Identifying what’s directing your internal responses and shifting from your worst skills to your best is always the right move. Those are the best examples of my attempts to provide a strategy for moving forward. Who knows how they’ll feel years from now, when I’m part of their history. Maybe they’ll only remember me walking around quoting Animal House saying, “you’re all worthless and weak.” I’d give a lot to see the future, to hear them discuss me and declare, “that’s what she said.” Joining the ancestral noise of the past.

That’s What S/he Said The other morning, I walked into my house after working out in the yard. As usual, I was sweaty, my normal state once the temperature rises above 70• F.

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ruffoverthinksthings · 7 years

Note

Can you do JayxJordan for the ship meme?

1.Whois the most affectionate?:

Jay.Jordan is reluctant to show affection most days due to having beenburned by failed relationships and “falling in love with people toofast;” being new to physical affection and how great it feels togenuinely love someone and be loved back, Jay has no problem“binging” on hugs, kisses, and hand-holding.

2.Bigspoon/Little spoon?:

Jayis big spoon, Jordan is little spoon, always. “He’s got muscles,he uses them.”

3.Mostcommon argument?:

Playfullyspeaking, it’s whether or not Jordan can use her minor, non-wishmagic to solve a small inconvenience for Jay, like a loose thread.

Seriouslyspeaking, there’s Jay’s antics as he grows up, because it takeshim a while to get out of his “reckless teenager with nothing tolose” phase, and Jordan is getting spotlight with the scandals allthe while, getting the bad sort of attention to her channel.

“Idon’t know what you’ve been told, but here, bad news is stillbad news.”

4.Favoritenon-sexual activity?:

Workingout together.

Jaygets a spotter who can easily handle whatever weight he’sattempting, and someone who can easily match him or up the pace forhis training regime without need for complex machines, Jordan gets toenjoy seeing her man sweat and show off those muscles of his, and heher in form-fitting yoga pants.

Really,no one loses!

5.Whois most likely to carry the other?:

Jaywith Jordan.

WhileJordan is more than capable of carrying Jay by virtue of Faestrength, “there is no way I’m hauling your unconscious, drunk,and/or lazy ass down the street, to bed, or across the room, unlessyou’ve broken one or both your legs, or are bleeding out—and asfar as I can see, you’re neither.”

6.Whatis their favorite feature of their partner’s?:

Jay’shands for Jordan. “It’s all the care and attention of Royal, withthe strength and texture of a Greenback, with all the tricks andspeed of a VK—what’s not to love?”

WithJordan, it’s her eyes, no contest. “Prettier, shinier, and deeperthan any jewels I could steal in the whole wide world.”

7.What’sthe first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings forthe other?:

Jaygets even more flirtatious than usual with Jordan, being morespecific and direct about his compliments and suggestions to her,along with making concrete suggestions for dates and hanging out,rather than vague promises.

Jordan,meanwhile, gets evasive and paranoid with him, as oh goodness, it’shappening all over again, will Jay just dump her eventually like allthe VKs do with their relationships, or will it just be for thewishes, or will it be a happily ever after?

Doesshe even want to find out…?

8.Nicknames?& if so, how did they originate?:

ForJay, there’s “JJ” as Jordan’s personal nickname for him, tobe different from the rest; “Red Robin,” a pun, and a referenceto one of the future teams he signs up for, the Avalor Jaquins;“Sly Guy,” used insultingly, when Jordan has figured out whatmischief he’s gotten up to this time; or “Jasim” if shewants to use his real name.

ForJordan, there’s “Jean,” a play on “Djinn,” “Mistress”whenever she’s ordering his lazy ass around to go and do somethinghe’d rather not, “(My Most Beloved) Treasure” when he’s beingparticularly affectionate or alternatively, he KNOWS he has fuckedup—using it like that issupposed to keep Jordan onher toes, but she knows.

Shealways does.

9.Whoworries the most?:

Jordan.

Jayhas a very laissez-faire view of the world because of how out ofcontrol of anything he’s been all his life, but Jordan has both thecapability of understanding all the many forces at work that makelife as it is, and the infinite energy stores and lack of mortallimitations that let her worry basically whenever, wherever, forever,if she wanted to.

10.Whoremembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?:

Jordan,thanks to her infallible Fae memory. Jay makes it a point to try andremember or guess what Jordan would order as a matter of pride,though.

11.Whotops?:

Jay.“Just keep in mind that who I am in the bedroom isn’t who I amelsewhere, alright?”

“Butwhat about when we do it in an empty supply closet somewhere?”

“JAY,I SWEAR…!”

12.Whoinitiates kisses?:

Jay.

Again,more affectionate, he comes from a very “love-starved”background, and Jordan takes a LONG while to get used to the factthat someone CAN in fact love her for her, the wishes are WAY loweron the perks list.

13.Whoreaches for the other’s hand first?:

Jay.Is it really a surprise at this point?

14.Whokisses the hardest?:

Jay.Man’s a demon, a devil, a doll, and the both of them know it.It also helped that he has had a lot of experience making good,delirious kisses to rob people discretely.

15.Whowakes up first?:

Jordandoesn’t really sleep, but when they do, it’s always Jay. “Gottaget picking when the picking’s good.”

16.Whowants to stay in bed just a little longer?:

Jordan.“Jay, this is not the Isle, you can probably get that shiton A-bay, or wait and grab it before they recycle or throw-away allthe excess stock!”

“ButI wouldn’t have it NOW!”

17.Whosays I love you first?:

Jay.

Hesays it casually and early as a manipulation tactic, as part of hisvery Spanish inspired “hot and fast” methodology, but changes hismind when Jordan has an incredibly negative, distressed reaction toit.

18.Wholeaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does itusually say?):

AsJordan doesn’t really need to eat, Jay usually gets coffeeand other snacks for her from time to time. She has no use forcaffeine nor sugar because of her unique, magical physiology, but shecan derive pleasure from eating, and she likes the notes Jayscribbles on the back of receipts or containers.

“It’slegally bought with my own money, I promise.” - J

19.Whotells their family/friends about their relationship first?:

Seeingas it’s much more convenient, Jordan does, with the caveat thatit’s with Jasmine and over Skype, because she is still one heavilyactive and involved Royal Consort. (Aladdin is no slouch himself, butlet’s face it: the man wasn’t made for sitting in for long,expansive meetings, nor ferocious verbal debate where you can’t infact challenge your opponent to a duel with swords and slander.)

20.Whatdo their family/friends think of their relationship?:

Jasmineand Aladdin raise eyebrows—they’re well aware of Jordan’s lessthan ideal experiences with romance, and even though they do trustJay as their honorary son, they’re well aware that monogamous,loyal “street urchins” like Aladdin were the exception ratherthan the rule.

Genieand Eden are highly supportive of Jay and keep teasing them aboutwhen they’re going to be able to call him “son” for real,something Jordan does not appreciate, as they had done thisbefore with relationships that didn’t work out, and Jay is thefirst real boyfriend she’s had in a LONG while.

Azizsays, “Jay, I respect you as a teammate [later on, “as a man”],and I will support you and help you be the best boyfriend you can beto Jordan. But I swear to Goodness, if you break her heart, I willfucking end you.

“… Also,for the love of all that is Good and Holy, try not to fuck while I’mat risk of discovering you two, please...?”

TheVKs are very nonplussed about it. “So what, Jay’s had dozensof girlfriends, that it’s Jordan just adds a new square to thebingo card.”

TheAKs are much more concerned, especially Ben as they’re all raisedwith the idea of monogamy and long-term relationships as thestandard, with casual, short-term relationships as the outlier, andare aware of how ugly break-ups with Jordan can be.

21.Whois more likely to start dancing with the other?:

Jordan,because she dances with everyone, and “there’s something in myessence that makes me want to show everyone these hips don’t liewhen the music really gets going.” It doesn’t really get overtlyaffectionate until she starts getting MUCH more comfortable beingaround Jay, and gets over her paranoia.

Afterthat, you start to wonder why Jay’s pants never catch fire from allthat friction. (They’re proofed and insulated, after the firstincident with a leather pair Jay is never wearing again.)

22.Whocooks more/who is better at cooking?:

Jordan,by virtue of having a cooking instruction series to her channelwhenever she’s feeling bored; cooking is one of those creative,endlessly novel, and time-consuming hobbies that are a great way topass the time when you’ve got all of eternity to spend, and yourperception of it is at a constant speed.

23.Whocomes up with cheesy pick up lines?:

Jay.“Someone call the museums and the art galleries, we’ve got apriceless treasure just out here in the open...”

24.Whowhispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear duringinappropriate times?:

Jay.

Jordandoes this for the people she has “Dangerous Liaisons” games withsuch as her other full-Fae friends and other immortal Fae (“age ofconsent” doesn’t really MEAN anything when you live forever, andare fully matured mentally at time of creation), but with mortals,she’s learned to tone down the sexiness and the seduction by a goodbit, as it’s more temporary and fleeting than they might think itwill be.

Aftershe accepts Jay will be her “Ever After,” the tables turn, andyou better BELIEVE that Jay has mastered the art of casually,discretely hiding inappropriate erections from said inappropriatethings whispered in his ear during inappropriate times.

25.Whoneeds more assurance?:

Jordan.

She’sgot serious self-esteem issues from all the time she’s been burned,along with the capacity to process paranoid thoughts faster than thespeed of light; meanwhile, Jay has long learned how to stop worrying,but Jordan is still at that phase where she hasn’t lost anyone dueto old age, or seen civilization completely change around her, so shedoesn’t really understand how little all of this means in the grandscheme of things.

26.Whatwould be their theme song?:

“Nobody’sBetter” by Z (feat. Fetty Wap)

Jordan’shad more than her fair share of guys who have been incredibly simpleand upfront about their feelings like Jay, but she finds she can’treally trust him as a mix of her own personal issues, and the factthat Jay’s being serious with Jordan does not preclude him “windowshopping” and playfully flirting with others.

27.Whowould sing to their child back to sleep?:

Jordan.She has the better singing voice, and Jay keeps filling them up withballads of his daring adventures.

“ButI cut out all the bad parts!”

“You’restill teaching our damn kids that it’s GOOD to be a thief stealingfor personal profit!”

28.Whatdo they do when they’re away from each other?:

Jordanworks on her videos, as usual, but she also spends a lot more timereflecting and thinking over things with how incredibly SIMPLE and tothe point Jay is. It’s the classic Philosophical issue of “Maybethat’s all that there is,” and unlike my blog’s point, it’sbest not to overthink it and just accept that the simple solutionreally is all there is to it.

29.oneheadcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart:

WhenJay proposes, it’s not a happy moment for Jordan—up untilthat point, it’s just been them dating exclusively, having anofficial status, and defenses on social media, but there’s neverreally been anything so concrete and legally binding as an actualring on her finger.

“I’mscared, alright?! What if things just go downhill from here? What ifwe end up getting divorced, and we have to fight over who gets thatring back?! What if…” she starts tearing up. “What if we’renot really an Ever After…?”

30.oneheadcanon about this OTP that mends it:

Jaywipes the tears from her eyes, kisses her, and gently says, “Jordan,I’m going to be honest: I don’t know the answer to any ofthose questions. But I what do know, I was willing to spend a stupidamount of cash, set up this whole date, and work up the courage toactually show this ring, than keep thinking to myself, ‘Next time,when there’s a better opportunity.’

“Ilove you, and I want to find out if we’ll work out. Do you?”

Jordansniffs. “… I love you too, Jay, but I don’t know…. I needsome time to think… a LOT of it.”

Jaynods, and puts the box safely back in his pocket. “Go ahead, I’llbe waiting—besides, the store had a no return policy, so it’s notlike I can do anything with this thing, anyway.”

Jordanpunches him, before she pulls him in and kisses him.

Yearslater, she gets back to him:

“Yes.”

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the-whistlestop-blog · 6 years

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Here are Handy Excuses for Trump Backers

TWS Editor’s Note: On 12 July 1973, humorist Art Buchwald penned a semi-satirical list of discussion points for defenders of then-embattled President Richard Nixon that ran in papers nationwide. TWS recently came across it (thanks, Slow Burn) and noticed a few eerie similarities, so we made an updated version for Fox News, MAGA Twitter, and congressional Republicans.

WASHINGTON -- These are difficult times for people who are defending the Nixon Trump Administration. No matter where they go, they are attacked by pseudo-liberals Democrats, McGovern lovers the DSA, heterosexual constitutionalists #NeverTrumpers, and paranoid John Dean believers #Resistance Twitter.

As a public service, I am printing instant responses for loyal Nixonites the #TrumpTrain when they are attacked at a party. Please cut it out screenshot it and carry it in your pocket save it to your unsecured iPhone.

1. Everyone does it. (President Trump: “This was a meeting to get information on an opponent, totally legal and done all the time in politics.”)

2. What about Chappaquiddick Fusion GPS? (Marc Thiessen: “The Clinton campaign proactively sought dirt on Trump from Russian government sources.”)

3. A President can’t keep track of everything his staff does. (Sen. Orrin Hatch: “The president should not be held responsible for the actions of the people he’s trusted.”)

4. The press is blowing the whole thing up. (Sarah Sanders: “You guys seem completely obsessed with this, while there are a lot of other things happening around the country and frankly a lot of other things that people care a lot more about.”

5. Whatever Nixon Trump did was for national security. (President Trump: “The Fake News Media wants so badly to see a major confrontation with Russia…They are pushing so recklessly hard and hate the fact that I’ll probably have a good relationship with Putin.”)

6. The Democrats are sore because they lost the election. (President Trump: Russia was an excuse used by the Democrats when they lost the election…It wasn't Russia, it was a bad candidate. It was a candidate that didn't go to Wisconsin and Michigan like they should have.”)

7. Are you going to believe a rat like John Dean Michael Cohen or the President of the United States? (Rudy Giuliani: “Cohen’s been lying all week—he’s been lying for years…If his back is up against the wall, he’ll lie like crazy. He’s lied all his life.”)

8. Wait till all the facts come out. (Speaker Paul Ryan: “I think he should be free to do his job, but I would like to see it get wrapped up of course.”)

9. What about Chappaquiddick Fusion GPS? (Rep. Mark Meadows: “The fact that the Clinton campaign and the DNC paid intelligence officials in Russia for salacious and false information on President Trump is suspicious enough. But we’re also beginning to see evidence that raises questions about whether the Obama Justice Department may have inappropriately involved themselves in this project both before and after the 2016 Presidential campaign.”)

10. If you impeach Nixon Trump, you get Agnew Pence. (Omarosa Manigault-Newman: “As bad as y’all think Trump is, you would be worried about Pence. We would be begging for the days of Trump back if Pence became President.”)

11. The only thing wrong with Watergate talking to Russians is they got caught. (Jay Sekulow: “The question is how would it be illegal? You have to look at what laws, rules, statutes were really broken here.”)

12. What about Daniel Ellsberg stealing the Pentagon Papers Uranium One? (Rep. Louie Gohmert: this insane chart)

13. It happens in Europe from China all the time. (President Trump: “We found that China has been attempting to interfere in our upcoming 2018 election coming up in November against my administration.”)

14. People would be against Nixon Trump no matter what he did. (Sen. Rand Paul: “Any country that can spy does, and any country that can meddle in foreign elections does…it’s all about partisan politics now. This is truly the Trump derangement syndrome that motivates all of this.”)

15. I’d rather have a crook fool in the White House than a fool crook. (The entirety of the Flight 93 essay by Michael Anton, who went on to serve on President Trump’s NSC.)

16. LBJ President Obama used to read about this before the election FBI reports every night. President Trump: “Just out: The Obama Administration knew far in advance of November 8th about election meddling by Russia. Did nothing about it. WHY?”)

17. What’s the big deal about finding out what your opposition is up to? (Rudy Giuliani: “Any meeting in regards to getting information about your opponent is something any candidate’s staff would take.”)

18. The President was too busy running the country and everyone else didn’t even know what was going on. (Jared Kushner: “They thought we colluded, but we couldn’t even collude with our local offices.”)

19. What about Chappaquiddick Fusion GPS? (Mark Steyn: “Everyone is colluding with Russia except Trump. You’ve got the Podesta Group, you’ve got the Hillary campaign, you’ve got the DNC, you’ve got the FBI, you’ve got Christopher Steele.”)

20. People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. (Sen. Lindsey Graham: “What I can’t get over is how much more has to be uncovered at the Department of Justice regarding a political agenda…This screams for a special counsel.”)

21. McGovern Clinton would have lost anyway. (Sen. Lindsey Graham: “Russia didn’t beat Clinton. Trump beat Clinton.”)

22. Maybe the Committee for the Re-Election of the President Don Jr. and Jared Kushner went a little too far, but they were just a bunch of eager kids. (President Trump: “[Don Jr.]’s a good boy. He’s a good kid. And he had a meeting. Nothing happened.”)

23. I’m not for breaking the law, but sometimes you have to do it to save the country. (Entire hacky conservative books have been written about this, but forgive us if we don’t link to their Amazon pages.)

24. Nixon Trump made a mistake. He’s only human. (Speaker Paul Ryan: “The President's new at this. He's new to government. So, he probably wasn't steeped in the long-running protocols that establish the relationships between DOJ, FBI and White Houses. He's just new to this.”)

25. Do you realize what Watergate this president is doing to the dollar abroad for our economy at home? (Speaker Paul Ryan: “Look, the tax cuts are working.”)

26. What about Harry Truman Peter Strzok and the deep freeze scandal his text messages? (President Trump: “Take a look at the horrible statements that Peter Strzok, the chief investigator, said.”

27. Franklin D. Roosevelt John Podesta did a lot worse things. (President Trump: “Nobody asks John Podesta about the company that he has with his brother in Russia.”

28. I’m sick and tired of hearing about Watergate Russia and so is everybody else. (Sarah Sanders: “The American people are sick and tired of being inundated with Russia Fever.”)

29. This thing should be tried in the courts and not on television. (Actually, this one doesn’t apply—these guys love litigating this stuff live on television.)

30. When Nixon gives his explanation of what happened Mueller comes up with nothing there are going to be a lot of people in this country with egg on their faces. (Rudy Giuliani: “I can guarantee you this: When Mueller is finished, no matter whatever he does, he’s not going to have a stitch of evidence that [Trump] colluded with the Russians.”)

31. My country right or wrong. (President Trump: “I’m totally allowed to be involved [in Special Counsel Mueller’s investigation] if I wanted to be. So far, I haven’t chosen to be involved.”)

32. What about Chappaquiddick Fusion GPS? (Rep. Devin Nunes: “You have a campaign who hired a law firm who hired Fusion GPS who hired a foreign agent who went and got information from the Russians on the other campaign. It seems like the counterintelligence investigation should have been opened up against the Hillary campaign when they got a hold of the dossier.”)

33. I think the people who make all this fuss about Watergate #Resistance should be shot. (President Trump: “You don’t hand matches to an arsonist, and you don’t give power to an angry left-wing mob. Democrats have become too EXTREME and TOO DANGEROUS to govern.”

34. If the Democrats had the money, they would have done did the same thing. (President Trump: “[The special counsel’s investigation] was based on fraudulent activities and a Fake Dossier paid for by Crooked Hillary and the DNC.”)

35. I never trusted Haldeman and Ehrlichman Rosenstein and Mueller to start with. (Roger Stone: “I’d fire Mueller and Rosenstein for wasting the taxpayers’ money.”)

36. If you say one more word about Watergate Russia, I’ll punch you in the nose.

a. If the person is bigger than you: “If you say one more word about Watergate Russia I’m leaving this house.” Say the same thing, but on Twitter.

b. If it’s your own house and the person is bigger than you: “What about Chappaquiddick Fusion GPS?”

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rilenerocks · 4 years

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That’s What S/he Said The other morning, I walked into my house after working out in the yard. As usual, I was sweaty, my normal state once the temperature rises above 70• F.

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