#*me picking up every tragic character fighting w/ themselves in my arms* my family now.

[ayatoscupid]

holy shit that new trailer made me so fucking sad i have to adopt xiao as a sibling figure now. lore rant under cut

its just. the "fighting hard to not become the very thing they swore to destroy" trope always HITS and xiao is such a tragic character through and through that i think itd be hard for anyone to not feel sorry for him, once they have a deeper look into his story. it can be easy to dismiss him as the growling edgelord character but really just a deeper look in and u can see just how...... sad he is

ive said before that i hold a soft spot for adepti lore- after developing lore for xue yin ive come to rly appreciate what the adepti symbolise n common themes that they have, and how it connects to the overarching themes of genshin as a whole.

idk if ive said this before? i forget what i say in my (few) lore rants here LMFAO but i feel that genshin is, to me, a story about grief. about loss. how it happens, how people cope with it, and how they ultimately move on. a more obvious theme in the narrative is ushering in a new era- mond and inazuma having already done this imo by thriving without their archon's guidance, liyue moving on from the loss of rex lapis, and sumeru finally reuniting with their archon. but in order to welcome a new era you have to say goodbye to the old one- you have to lose the old one and move on. such as the archons have to cherish but move on from old friends and old memories, the people have to as well

adepti are sort of deital beings who served the same purpose for thousands of years and now have to learn to adjust to a liyue thats rapidly changed before their very eyes- and they deal with this change. some of them have already started (ganyu, madame ping), and it comes easier for them

but not for xiao.

im very much not qualified or informed enough to make an in-depth analysis on this specifically but ill say that xiao's current story focuses on his recovery from his ptsd. and i dont think im informed enough to talk about ptsd so i wont- but his recovery is so very carefully written in that its so slow. he's not quick to accept these things and can even be harsh about them. not only is his duty ingrained in his brain from years and years of war, but he is physically unable to stop, lest he succumbs to his karmic debt.

(at least. thats how i remember it. cries if im wrong)

i love how we got an update on him during lantern rite actually (i mean, lantern rite is always xiao time but yk), bc ive been dying to know how hes been since we last saw him in the chasm. and it looks like hes been doing the same old things he usually does- but hes making an active decision in getting better, and that makes me proud of him!!!

he interacts with baizhu and qiqi now (though he leaves right away lol, but from their interactions this isnt the first time theyve taken care of him. cute!!) and he even walks around liyue harbour instead of just leaving, even letting a little girl interact with him and letting her grandpa give him some rice wine (from venti noticing that he's already drank, by the time they see each other)

of course, it's hard- hes constantly haunted by his debt. by the demons he's slayed. by the evil he's purged. by himself. he has nightmares about himself- about his fear of one day becoming the very evil he swore to purge. that's why we get those nightmares of the two xiaos- in it, hes the one with the mask on. hes succumbed to the darkness, and he cant take it off- hes become the very thing he swore to destroy.

(AAAAAAAAAAAAA ANAK NG PUTA ANG SAKIT)

hes still haunted by his nightmares, his secret fears- but hes getting better now. though its slow, and he may not see it, his development is there and its incredibly meaningful. and i Cannot Wait to see more of him, and his journey in learning that: "It's good to take the mask off once in a while... even just for one night."

#*me picking up every tragic character fighting w/ themselves in my arms* my family now. #this is a long post btw. LMFAO #💘.doc