#*old geezer voice* i don't blame you buddy i blame youtube star and tiktok influencer culture

[mean-scarlet-deceiver]

Ik know this isn't a ask but this is the person who asked you about your opinion on tugs idk how or why you got so mad when I was just asking about tugs but I wasn't to bark orders at you or anything like that

I appreciate this communication. That helps me get a better sense of where you're coming from. I don't believe you were trying to be rude.

However, I know you sent four Tugs asks in two days. I am reasonably sure you are the same anon who also sent at least four other asks over the course of the past week (including the one about OCs and then the follow-up on ERS that I have answered). Plus it's quite possible you are behind three other anon asks.

(I could be mistaken about the additional 4-7 asks. The confusion is one of the risks you run when you send things anonymously. All 11 of these asks have a very similar style.)

Sending four asks in 48 hours is spamming the inbox. And I said (rather angrily, yes—I was feeling heated that day, in more ways than one) that they were "demands" because when you repeat your request four times with no explanation then it does rise to the level of a demand. Anyone would be offended. If you wanted to avoid giving offense or being annoyed, a little extra effort to communicate goes a long way — Sorry if you get this multiple times, I'm not sure this ask went through. Okay, cool. If you had said that, that would be different. I'd have known your motives were uncertainty rather than impatience.

But this miscommunication didn't happen in a vacuum, either. Sending 8 (possibly more) asks in a week is also spamming. It did not predispose me to give you the benefit of the doubt.

Final pro tip: Communication should have a give and take to it. In person this happens more naturally. Online, it takes a bit more effort (though the rules are easier to learn.)

When it comes to dropping asks (or just notes or comments! I know they're called "asks," but it's totally fine to use inboxes the way you did unless the blogger makes it clear otherwise!) the ask-er can frontload a lot of "their end" of the communication when they just have a profile that the ask-ee can click on. That gives me an idea of where you're coming from. Even so, ask-ers often give some context for their asks. Like, they'll say "Hi."

Or "X is my favorite, (s)he's so Y."

Or "I saw your post about X or "Your fic/art is really cool."

Or "lol i didn't realize there was a Thomas the Tank Engine fandom till tonight, this is crazy."

Then they go on to ask a question (if they have one. It's OK not to, really.)

It's not required, but it does help you to come across as friendly.

And it's probably an especially good idea to make this extra effort on anon. Sometimes anons who send more than one ask will literally say "Hey, I was the anon who asked about X." It's just part of building a relationship, even if you are anonymous.

And that sort of relationship can be helpful in establishing yourself as a friendly sort who has basic respect for the people they are talking to online.

*

(Also... just to reiterate... just plain don't send someone that many asks at once. Not unless they're actually answering them as fast as you're sending them.)

#*old geezer voice* i don't blame you buddy i blame youtube star and tiktok influencer culture #but none of us around here are celebrities or big name fans or authorities or any of that shit around here #and so firing off large numbers of questions isn't flattering it's just uncomfortable #and if you do ask large numbers of questions then you are building a relationship... so take care to act like it