#-- -> being rejected over and over again/discouraging comments (falling down as soon as she nears the top)

[thesnailtail]

Who's the most Sisyphus out of mmj and why?

Discuss.

;; GREEK MYTHOLOGY IN MY INBOX

;; tldr because i went on: airi, mainly due to everything going on with qt pre-mmj.

;; the myth of sisyphus is about an evil tyrant (the named sisyphus) who killed the visitors to his kingdom (corinth, formerly ephyra) to show his power, violating every law of hospitality that the greeks had. he also cheated death twice i believe, breaking a promise with hades at least once. all of this piled up until his own death, in which he was stuck to roll a boulder up a mountain only for when he gets to the top to have it roll to the bottom, and he was sentenced to do this for all eternity! very similar to the myth of tantalus actually. out of both of the "sentenced to do something pointless for eternity" myths, personally i prefer tantalus. there's just something so funny about it. anyway-

;; first thought of mine? airi. just vibes wise. also everything (pre-mmj) going on with happy everyday was a pointless task where she was pushing a boulder (wanting to do concerts and whatnot again) up a mountain (against her managers) only to have it fall down (being ignored completely.) but honestly? any of mmj can fit the pointless task aspect.

;; i can't see any of them being evil tyrants though. cheating death though? again i can see airi doing that.

;; so in conclusion, i believe airi is the most sisyphus out of mmj because all her efforts regarding qt, happy everyday and her managers were in the end pointless because she was never listened to, and she has the "i would cheat death" energy

#and for the others' pointless task bit that i mentioned: #minori: practicing to be an idol all she the time that she has free (boulder) -> auditioning constantly/live streaming with mmj (mountain)-- #-- -> being rejected over and over again/discouraging comments (falling down as soon as she nears the top) #haruka: wanting to be an idol to spread joy like how it was spread to her (boulder) -> unintentionally harming someone else in th-- #--process (mountain) -> law of associations messing about and now it's forever associated with guilt! (falling down when nearing the top) #and shizuku: trying hard to meet everyone's expectations (boulder) -> being forced into a position she can barely handle-- #-- (mountain) -> having no support so feeling she has to work even harder or start from square one again (falling down when nearing the top) #ANYWAY! this was such a random ask to see and i love it #ngsdgjgjrw greek mythology :) #project sekai #airi momoi

[five-miles-over]

‘Aftermath’ Part 8: Something There (Commodus x OC)

Summary: Emperor Commodus is distraught after unnecessarily taking a life, and even more after he meets his witness.

Warning: Angst, lots of fluff at the end. (I apologize if it feels cheesy at certain points. This is honestly a bit short compared to the previous two chapters, and I promise the next ones will be much better)

Word Count: 2,041 words 

Read Part 1: The Impossible Dream here

Read Part 2: Proud of Your Boy here

Read Part 3: Point of No Return here

Read Part 4: Look Down here

Read Part 5: Beneath a Moonless Sky here

Read Part 6: These Palace Walls here

Read Part 7: Wait For It here

Almost an eternity of silence had passed as Caesonia stood at the doorway of her chamber, remaining stern as Commodus turned towards her.  

“Never show weakness,” her father’s voice echoed in her mind.“You mustn’t be afraid of Death. It will only get you killed.” It wasn’t the violence that scared her, but rather having been the unfortunate witness of such an act that brought internal terror. It was no secret that the emperors of Rome valued their public image and many of them would stop at nothing to preserve a persona of wisdom, justice, fortitude, and temperance.

Disappearing into her room, Caesonia backed away from him gingerly. And without a second thought, the emperor followed her. Yet Commodus found himself remaining near the threshold of the doorway to debate his next choice of words.

Perhaps it was guilt, or even fear, that could be used to describe the emotion Commodus had been afflicted with. Lucilla’s words followed him like a shadow, even as he advanced towards Caesonia. Those stinging remarks were by his side long after the vision of his sister had disappeared. What if Lucilla were correct - that all he’d ever done was push everyone he’s cared about away? Would Caesonia, his Pink Fairy, become disgusted with his violent outburst and reject him? No, she couldn’t…she was his prisoner…he held the lives of her and his father in the palm of his hand. She belonged to him.

“Ave, Caesar,” Caesonia greeted, breaking the long silence and Commodus’s string of self-doubt. “Good evening, my lady,” he replied amidst blinking with astonishment. Commodus had not expected her to be so formal or calm, after what she’d just seen. And the sight of her obediently kissing his ring brought about a sense of temporary calmness for the emperor too.

Raising her chin so that their eyes met, Commodus took a moment to study her features before asking her a question. “Am I a monster, Lady Caesonia?”

She shook her head in reply. “I want to hear it from your lips,” he quietly growled.

“You are not a monster, Caesar.”

The emperor walked towards the aging, white bed, still standing before her with an intense stare. “Do you loathe me?”

“I do not, Caesar.”

Abridging the space between them, Commodus felt a slight quiver in his tone and swallowed as he inquired his last question.

“Am I not merciful?”

The analytical side of her would’ve weighed her answer based on which would guarantee her being alive to see the next day. An outright criticism of the emperor’s ways would guarantee an execution, while agreement would spare her. Yet, as the weeks passed in her empty, incarcerated existence, Caesonia asked herself endlessly why she was still obeying every command and trying to live. Her father hadn’t fought for her; he abandoned her in a heartbeat when she fought to spare his life. Then again, if her father were dead, she’d have no place to go. For all the righteousness and virtues many emperors claimed to possess, Rome was never kind to a lonely girl.

Still, was she merely trying to stay alive because that is what she was taught - to survive at all costs? Or was she finding herself loyal to her captor? Caesonia knew why her father was in trouble, and tried for treason. He failed his duty towards the Emperor of Rome, and had to be duly punished. The Emperor accepted her offer, and was as benevolent as possible to her. Instead of the dungeons, she was given a room. Granted she was not allowed to leave said room, but it was certainly better to be alone than to be surrounded by violent, insane men who’d certainly prey upon a girl thrust into their premises. And for his seemingly kind gestures, Caesonia took it upon herself to be obedient to him in return.

“You are merciful indeed, Caesar,” she answered, barely louder than a whisper.

“No, I’m NOT!”, he wanted to scream at her. “You watched me take an innocent life before your very eyes! Why would you still address me as merciful, you deceitful girl?!” But this was not the time for screaming. Maybe this wasn’t the time to say anything.

Instead, the chamber was filled with the sounds of weeping as the emperor of Rome suddenly fell to his knees. Tears streaming down his reddening face, Commodus couldn’t control his sobs. Whether it was for the unlucky servant, the scheming senators, his discouraged sister, or even the prospect of loneliness, his cries were beyond explanation. He didn’t know why he wanted to cry, but it was all that Commodus really wanted to do.

Caesonia stood as stiff as a statue for a moment, attempting to process the tragedy unfolding before her. Let alone an emperor, a man crying openly was almost unheard of. Trembling, she slowly knelt before him and caressed his cheek in hopes of wiping his tears. To her surprise, Commodus clasped her hand, their fingers interlacing, and held it close to his face. It was as if he wanted to know if she were truly real, or merely a figment of his imagination.

“Sh-sh-shall I bring you something, Caesar?” She asked, trying to be helpful.

He looked up at her with misty eyes, longing for only one thing. Commodus swallowed again, “I am not an emperor tonight, Caesonia.”

With a deep breath, he clarified, “Let us pretend that I am a weary traveler come from afar and that you are a lovely maiden in whose arms I seek refuge.” Inching closer to her, Commodus softly asked. “Will you grant me that, radiant beauty?”

“Yes, dear traveler,” she nodded sadly. Without another word, Caesonia wrapped her arms around Commodus and held him to her chest. “My rose…,” he whispered, losing himself in her touch while he closed his eyes. The poem, Caesonia remembered, the one about a rose blooming from another rose. The unfolded parchment was on top of her pillow as she’d been re-reading it to herself lately; how kind of him to notice that, she thought.

Whispering into his dark brown hair, Caesonia said, “Sleep well, dear traveler.”

——— ———— ——— ——— ——— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— 

Slightly irritated by the glare in his eyes, Commodus groaned as he shifted around in Caesonia’s lap. He had accidentally fallen asleep on the floor and now it was almost past the break of dawn.

Her hushed snores immediately caught his attention. He was surprised that she hadn’t budged all night, instead choosing to lean her head against the bed. Right now, she seemed to be almost fast asleep; not a muscle of hers moved as he rose from her lap.

Despite having admired the Sun all his life, the emperor felt a twinge of jealousy for the celestial star being the first one to brush her cheeks. Mine, he thought, she should be mine alone -  to hold, to hug, to cherish…  Commodus tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, marveling at how peaceful -almost seraphic- she looked.  “Good morning, my rose,” he cooed into her ear while affectionately stroking her warm fingers.

“Good morning…” her voice faltered as she saw the emperor looming over her. “F-forgive me for making you sleep on the floor.” Caesonia wiped her mouth, suddenly self-conscious before him. The night was gone, and so were the traveler and the maiden.

Offering her his hand, he carefully helped her up. The two of them stood silently before each other, too hesitant to directly look at the other yet afraid of seeming weak and unnecessarily bashful. “I must go to the baths,” Commodus commented. She shakily nodded in reply. “I see.”

“Would you come with me?” he asked sternly, not wishing to let her out of his sight

“I accept your invitation,” Caesonia placed her hands behind her back and followed him out of her chamber, lowering her head. Most likely, the palace would be filled with maids and servants bustling about. Would they know that the emperor spent the night in her vicinity, or would they assume that he wanted her relocated for…penal purposes? She didn’t know; perhaps it was better to lie low than rouse suspicion.

When they reached the imperial bathing chambers, the emperor ordered for the doors to be closed. He began disrobing before the pools, letting his garments fall from his body. Caesonia averted her eyes only to be fiercely jolted by a hand on her shoulder.

“It is rude to show your back on an emperor, Lady Caesonia,” Commodus snickered, taking strange delight in her fear. He brought her here mainly because of remorse for bringing an unpleasant sight to her eyes; she deserved something to cheer her up.

His peridot eyes fixated on her, Commodus watched Caesonia dip her toes into the water. He waded gently in the pool and decided to gaze at her for a while, letting himself be consumed by her loveliness. Her soft side-glances spoke of a charming coyness, and it appeared that she had reciprocated his warm expression. After all, the baths were no place for suspicion; who would carry out dangerous plots in the baths?

Lost in her own company, Caesonia flicked her toes in the water, making little splashes. One of them wet Commodus, who turned around and raised an eyebrow at her obliviousness. Without a second to lose, he splashed her in retaliation. Her shocked eyes immediately met his mischievous ones from across the pool.

“Go on,” he goaded her with another splash.

Soon, the two of them were throwing water at each other, laughing like children, and grateful that the doors were closed. For now, the world faded away and time stood still for their innocent indulgence. In an effort to keep up with his splashes, Caesonia accidentally fell in. “Are you alright?” He made his way towards her. She nodded in return.

Her hands traced his broad shoulders as she clung to him. Commodus did his best to keep his breath steady, simultaneously bewildered and excited by being touched so tenderly. She studied him closely, running her fingertips over his slightly curved jawline and finally settling on his lips. Her thumb traced over the corner of his mouth, and in a playful manner, he pretended to bite her finger. Caesonia flinched, a fond smile forming as Commodus sheepishly grinned.  “What is it, my rose?”

“I wanted to know if this was all a dream,” Caesonia confessed shyly.

“What do you think?” He asked in a hushed tone before capturing her lips in a kiss. Her lips locked with his, as if they had been separated for far too long. Caesonia daringly ran her fingers through his hair, softly yanking the cropped dark brown locks, and it was enough to arouse the emperor beyond compare. Whispering her name under his breath, Commodus kissed her deeper and tugged at any inch of fabric on her body that he could get his hands on. He wanted to have her so badly, to feel her skin against his, to make her melt with desire for him.

Their moment of intimacy was promptly interrupted by the voice of a guard outside. “Highness, your chariot to the Colosseum awaits you.” The emperor looked longingly at her before slowly making his way out of the pool, water dripping from his muscles. Caesonia followed him despite the heaviness of her soaked dress.

“Do you need…would you like help with your armor?” She asked, picking up the metallic breastplates from the floor.

“You may,” he smugly spoke. Even though he would ask for another suit of armor and a fresh set of robes the minute he reached his quarters, Commodus never wanted to reject her touch. Promptly she fastened the clasps holding the dark and shiny ensemble together.

Biting her lip, Caesonia timidly looked up at him when she finished dressing him. “Forgive me for being so bold…but I like you very much.”

“Commodus,” he finished, raising her chin to his eye-level.

“I like you very much, Commodus,” she repeated.

The emperor sharply exhaled at her confession, elated yet frightened, and tentatively stroked her hair. Perhaps Lucilla was wrong this time. For once, he felt like the hero he’d always desired to be.

#commodus #commodus fic #gladiator #gladiator 2000 #gladiator AU #emperor commodus

[rawnwas]

@nunukim-182  here it is! Thank you very much for waiting, I'm sorry it took me so long.   Enjoy it!

Since the kindergarten, I have been a child with difficulties to communicating. I commented on Star Wars all the time, it was very difficult for someone to put up with me. Actually, apart from my parents and my sister Esther, only one person cared about me. Her name was Rebecca Tucker.

Red was my best friend since kindergarten. she always sat next to me at lunch, in class, we worked together at school, and we also sat together on the bus. We even brought different fruits to lunch to exchange them, we went together to the cinema and to a Casa Bonita, it was funny. But all that changed when we got to fourth grade.

in this grade, everyone tried to appear "mature" and groups (some forced) were formed to "improve the interaction". There were the populars, the emos, the ugly ones, among others. red was adjusted immediately between the "hot girls" and me, obviously, with the nerds. I thought this wasnt going to affect our friendship, but as soon as the groups were defined, she started to avoid me and left with her friends.

Although Red avoided me, I continued to observe her and I realized that all our years of friendship were not in vain. I remember one time that she suggested seeing "the attack of the clones" to her friends when they chose which movie to watch at the cinema. Obviously her friends rejected that option for being a "nerd" movie and Red smiled falsely.

Our biggest interaction was on a school trip to "Villarejo dos peregrinos" where everyone said it was 1864. Our teacher told us to make pairs, and Red grabbed my hand instantly. I was surprised, because we hadnt spoken in months. During the tour, we talked as much as we could and i enjoyed her company a lot.

I didn’t realize, but I missed her a lot. Her voice, her smell, her hair, how she played with his strands as he spoke, the freckles she tried to hide with makeup, the perfume she wore ...

all those things that I missed, were back ...

but my joy evaporated as soon as the armed men invaded the place and threatened us.

I stood in front of her when they sat us on the floor, to prevent her from getting hurt. After the men were arrested, Red was so grateful that she sat with me back on the bus, and she forgot her friends during the trip, which sadly lasted only a few hours, and we kept talking. when we arrived, there was still a lot to talk about...

I thought she would continue talking to me later, but no, she was with his friends again. Even so, all those memories would follow my memory.

Even without her, I was not alone all this time. I started sitting at lunch with my friend Bradley, who was also a fan of galaxy wars, and with whom I had many things in common. I can say that at the time Red avoided me, he was my best friend.

besides him, I started to get together with Craig, Token, Tweek, Jimmy and Clyde. Somehow, I fit into their group, and among all of them, Clyde became a close friend. I confess that I felt betrayed when he started dating Red. However, thanks to Master Yoda, his engagement didnt last long.

at some point, I even played with eric, and ended up in Somalia, on a french ship with my laser sword, a heroic moment.

Over time, my interactions with Red decreased. some of her friends discovered her looking at me at lunch, and they started bothering her with that.

one day there was a talk about yaoi art at school and they showed images of Tweek and Craig, doing things that they normally don’t do. unlike the others, I was familiar with this topic and knew very well that tweek and craig were not really gay. I mean, there are a thosands of fanarts and fanfics about obi-wan x Anakin and Spock x Kirk and they are not really homosexual ...

During this event, I saw Red. She behaved like the other girls and found everything very nice. I dont doubt that when returning home, she looked for the two previous couples.

I thought Tweek and Craig were not really gays until they both ended up in front of the whole school. I was surprised with everything Tweek said, never imagined that Craig would be capable of all those things that Tweek said. I was also curious to know who Michael was, who apparently had been guilty of the separation.

The next day, Craig lost the class and Tweek appeared, but he looked very discouraged. Red also looked sad, it was as if the relationship of those two gave her hope for something.

But the next day, Tweek and Craig arrived at school holding hands, to the astonishment of everyone, including myself. Despite the surprise, I was glad that they were together again.

¿Red looked ... hopeful? I had never seen that expression on his face before.

At lunchtime, I sat next to Bradley, as I always did since the beginning of the year. Our table was next to the girls table. I could clearly hear a conversation from Red that caught my attention.

‘’Wendy, when you sayed that every kind of love is magical… you meaned that even a popular girl and a nerd can fall in love and it would be beautiful too?’’

That was not a typical Red question, and her friends noticed it too, so she got everyone at the table to raise their eyebrows. Wendy, meanwhile, took Red's hands and answered dreamily:

"Of course, any kind of love is magic!"

Red smiled shyly and could swear she blushed.

Bradley finished eating and ran away without saying goodbye. I was confused, but I finished my meal too and went out to the courtyard. all my friends were busy doing something, so I decided to sat in a corner to observe.

But before I did, Red appeared in front of me!

‘’Kevin... can we talk?’’ she asked.

‘’of course…’’ I answered surprised.

He took my hand and led me to the most isolated corner of the courtyard.

‘’Kevin ... do you remember that dance we had last year?’’ she asked looking me straight in the eyes and smiling shyly.

Of course I remember it! I smiled widely as soon as the memories arrived.

Flashback~~~~~~

In third grade, we had a dance near the end of the year. I remember well that Red decided to dance with Token, and I was sitting, feeling excluded. No girl wanted to dance with me, and I did not want to dance with anyone else.

It was like this until a girl dressed in a vulgar manner began to kiss several boys, including Token, who left Red aside to go with her.

Red was upset and sat in the stands. I went to talk with her and ask her if she wanted to dance with me, she accepted and we danced until the end of the dance.

After the party was over, they threw us out of the gym and Red sat down to wait for her uncles, and I sat with her to wait for my parents. As Esther was playing with the snow and Craig was playing with her friends, I was alone with her.

We talked and at some point, she took my hand and told me that I was the coolest guy in the entire galaxy. I felt extremely happy and I told her that she was also the coolest girl in the whole galaxy.

But before we could say anything else, the car of her uncles had already arrived for her and craig, leaving me alone with my sister.

~~~~~~~

I must have been thinking about that for a long time, because when I realized, Red was calling me. When I react, she kept talking.

'' ¿So, you still think I’m the coolest girl in the whole galaxy? '' she asked, holding my hands in his.

I thought about it a little. Even after she had avoided me, she was still the coolest girl I had ever met.

‘’ Of course, you are and always will be the coolest girl in the galaxy, and the planets beyond’’ I said without letting go her hands.

She smiled as she looked our joined hands.

‘’ you know kevin ... I still thinking that you’re the coolest guy in all the galaxies and I ... I like you, you know?’’

I was shocked. I also liked her too, actually, I always liked her, even after she started to ignore me.

‘’I… I…’’ I failed to form some phrase.

‘’So ... kevin ... what if you're Han Solo and I'm Princess Leia?’’ she suggested, winking at me.

I smiled. I had not thought of rejecting her, and now, less! she used a low blow!

-yes red! she smiled and hugged me.

As we parted, she grabbed my face, pulled her close and closed her eyes. Before I understood what was happening, our lips joined in a kiss. I felt very excited, it was silly, but in the end it was my first kiss.

‘’let's Rock!’’ she said after kissing me. We ran hand in hand to the courtyard. On the way, Clyde intercepted us.

‘’So ... are you guys together, huh? kevin, I thought these things didn’t interest you!’’ he scoffed, raising his eyebrows. I wanted Clyde to be sent to the farthest planet, from the farthest galaxy.

and somehow, my wish was fulfilled, because tweek and craig passed by holding hands and Clyde ran after them.

However, as soon as he left, Bebe arrived.

‘’I always knew you liked geeks! eh Red? I want to be the godmother of your wedding!’’ she said dreamily.

I wanted her to be sent to a planet farther away than Clyde's. But unlike Clyde, she went faster, winking at us.

When we get to the swing, we take turns pushing ourselves.

From that day, Red and I continued together, as if that separation by groups hadn’t happened. She surprised me with kisses and hugs, and I take my hand, as I always wanted.