#BUT THEN. 2019. the unthinkable happens. dan howell comes out and i realize i'm a dyke.

[jonathanrook]

okay but the problem is. and the reason i don't actually id as ace. is that i have. ya'know. been sexually attracted to people before. two. to be specific.

#okay so in hs i thought i was demi which ik is on the ace spectrum #but there were some flaws in that logic. those namely being. i had never actually been attracted to someone before. #in hs okay. you need to hear me out on this. in hs i was doing like. compulsive bisexuality?? #i figured out i was queer but didn't know how really so i was randomly picking all sorts of crushes. not just guys like anyone. #which is why fun fact to this day i still don't know how many people i've actually ever had a crush on lmao bc i'd even lie in my diaries #but i know some of them were real but it was just like. a little romantic attraction. #and everyone i had a crush on (real or fake for the most part) i was friends w so demi whatever. #BUT THEN. 2019. the unthinkable happens. dan howell comes out and i realize i'm a dyke. #it didn't actually happen exactly in that order but it's funnier to explain it that way. #anyway. like a week later i met the second hottest person i've ever seen in my life ever. #side note i'd already met the hottest but i have Sieve Brain and i genuinely don't remember how that went at all in the slightest #so the second hottest will have to do as my point of reference forgive me #anyway before i even knew her name. Salivating. insane. #and to this day i've still only been attracted to those two people. not even celebrities. #i don't know what “celebrity crush” means and at this point i'm too afraid to ask. #but i feel like i'm fairly old to have only wanted to. like. fuck two people. that seems like a low number. i don't know how this works. #and it's not demi if i didn't get to know them first right? #ace people explain y'all are smarter than me real #but it literally is still like i don't understand you people and your. sex. why are you like that. #rachel rants