#But like Rei specifically physically can’t leave. both bc she needs her medication which. I doubt anywhere else makes stuff to stop your

[proudfreakmetarusonniku]

not to make angst out of a fucking gag but also thinking about the silly au rei in the final episode makes me think about how different rei would be if she didn’t have literally the worst dad ever. like, no, she probably wouldn’t have been the upbeat adhd whirlwind in the high school au lmao. but it does just make me think. because while all the pilots lives are incredibly marked by trauma, rei's the only one to have never had access to any sort of normal life. her entire personality and worldview is shaped from being isolated, groomed, and taught to see herself as a tool and not a person. and then i just get so sad that she never had any chance of a normal life where she could discover herself and what she is. she went from being abused and manipulated by gendō (which is made even worse with the implications certain scenes leave about their relationship) to becoming god. she never had any chance of living a normal life. and just like. fuck.

#like when people talk about gendō being a bad dad it’s normally to do with shinji but like. he was an utterly abysmal dad to rei as well. #outside of the implications of csa even. like even outside of that she was isolated confined and used as a tool her whole life #like. it’s not like she can just leave. I mean none of the Eva pilots can just leave because they’re being groomed it’s horrible and awful #But like Rei specifically physically can’t leave. both bc she needs her medication which. I doubt anywhere else makes stuff to stop your #body from falling apart bc your at field aka like your fucking soul more or less just is failing. #but also bc like. she’s kinda literally vital for gendōs plans. there’s no way nerv would physically allow her to leave #god like. no wonder she was so insistent on her not getting better treatment than the rest despite the obvious favouritism of gendō #like. yeah maybe she gets scraps of affection but she’s also like. trapped. and also being abused. #fucking biting #free my girl she didn't do shit #Neon Genesis Evangelion