#But my bf is exactly like me in that department and I was so thrilled to be understood

[subconsciousmysteries]

love my bf love my life but that one song by Corey Taylor gives me war flashbacks to all the 48 combos I've loved before and I secretly listen to it sometimes when I'm bored with healthiness and I want to feel pain again

#Drama is an addiction #Nothing else #Forever grateful to the healing crowd for teaching me abt trauma bonds #Really broke the illusion of my intense feelings being True Love #With my bf where things are healthy #The love takes time to grow #It has taken a year for it to grow to where it was instantly with the 4/8 dudes I was with #When you stay together committed even during those times when you aren't euphoric about each other... it shows realness #My exes were the type to cry and whinge and panic abt the relationship being a waste as soon as I stopped being their perfect ideal #as soon as their feelings mildly shifted it was a BIG DEAL and I had to scramble to save the relationship #See this is the downside of True Eros Relationships tm #as soon as the mood shifts it's a big disaster because the relationship is built on nothing but feelgoodies and illusions #When the relationship is also built on pragmatic things like finances ambitions and family #You value each other based on things other than Muh Feels (ie your virtues and talents and skills and what you physically bring to the tabl #So the relationship doesn't fall apart based on stupid teenage mood swings #I used to think relationships were all about feelings but that's actually not the case at all #I think partly because the type of men I was into wanted relationships to be all about blind illogical feelings #They shamed women for thinking pragmatically and opportunistically about relationships. #But my bf is exactly like me in that department and I was so thrilled to be understood #My bf praises me for the things that my ex called me narcissistic and evil and deceptive for #Like being aware that I have options #Anyways my bf could be a 48 combo which would be hilarious cuz it would make this post stupid #But he's 7 core so that cancels out all the negative stupidity of other 48s