#FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better

[pynkhues]

jazillia007

replied to your post

“Oh boy, the hitman is definitely for Max! Or what do you think? And...”

I wonder though: what must happen for you to criticize the show's choices. I know you think of it "It's just a tv show" and you certainly point out stuff you don't like but I'm genuinely curious. :)

Hey! Okay, so I’m responding to this comment as a post just because I’ve had this question come up a few times in comments or in asks or on other people’s blogs, and I think there are a few facets of that that might need unpacking. 

The first part, and perhaps the biggest, is that I’m just a fan of the show.

I’m honestly not anyone. I’m not connected to the show, or anyone who works on it; hell, I’m not even in America. So this blog is just mine. And when I write about the show, or write fic, it’s just me, enjoying it, and enjoying my free time by watching it and chatting about it and writing fun scenarios about it. 

I’ve had quite a lot of people who have reached out to me to tell me that I don’t criticise the show enough, and that I waffle in my praise or have my blinders on (to say nothing of the people who’ve sent me abuse, or other user’s asks about me, or the users who’ve written posts or subtagged me), and I generally don’t respond, because I don’t really know how to, and also, y’know, as my old therapist told me - you can’t tell somebody how they feel - and I’d never, ever want to assume to tell anyone that how they felt was wrong. 

But still. 

I know how I feel. 

And right now, I know that I do want to say that when people tell me I don’t criticise the show, I not only find it frustrating, but insulting too. 

Because I do criticise the show a lot. 

I also make an active choice to be positive. 

And it is a choice. It’s actually not easy for me (I have lived a life, let me tell you, haha), and I work really hard to talk about things positively because that’s the effect that I want to leave behind me. 

Positivity =/= a lack of criticism, nor discussion, just like the capacity for negativity does not mean that the conversation somebody is generating with that tone or outlook makes them somehow more knowledgeable or socially aware.  

I’ve talked at length about how much I thought 2.13 was a disaster, about how the end of season 2 suffered from a narrative lull and a lack of sufficient rising tension, among many other things, and this season alone have talked about how the Dean x Gayle storyline isn’t working, how Annie’s therapy storyline is pretty mangled, and how much I really, really need the Beth and Dean arc to be working towards divorce. 

I just also like the show, so I’m never going to be the sort of person who says ‘fuck this, fuck the writers, everyone’s bad at their job’, as a small, but vocal portion of this fandom are. 

In fact, I hope I never will be. 

I hope that if I felt the urge to be so , that I’d have the self-awareness to rein myself in, or to quit a show and find something more in line with my interests, or at least quit posting about it, and just rant to my friends instead. 

Because there’s a difference between having conversation around plot points, narrative choices, racial and gender stereotypes, and just feeling miserable about something you’re watching and doing your darndest to make sure everyone else watching it feels miserable too. 

What I’m getting at is that if you want a user who rags shit on the show, that’s okay! I’m just not the woman for you, and I never will be.  

The biggest reason for that is that I don’t want to contribute to a culture of negativity and mockery, I want fandom to be a fun, safe space which helps people to explore what they do and don’t like in stories, and relationships, and characters, and also - - y’know what? 

People work hard on this show.

The episodes don’t just manifest as some sort of season-long-blob with Jenna as a dragon who sits on the top, like I feel some people would like the broader fandom to believe. It’s a team who’ve come together from Jenna, yes, as showrunner, but it’s one made up of other writers, the cast, producers, directors, art department, costume crew,  grips and gaffers and editors and music crew, among many others. A lot of people have come together to make this, and it’s not something that we get ownership of, and in fact, I actually resent some of the entitlement that I see in this fandom.

It’s something that’s being given to us.

We don’t get to dictate the story. 

And it has issues, for sure, and we can not like the show as a whole, or parts of it, or find things problematic, absolutely! But I hate this idea, honestly, that we’d spit on a lot of people’s hard work just because it wasn’t what we personally imagined or wanted it to be.

It hasn’t been written for anyone in particular. 

It’s just a story that a bunch of people have gotten together to tell.

If you don’t like it as a whole, pay it with your lack of attention. If you like it, but have a problem with it - then like it, but have a problem with it - instead of just choosing not only aggression against the show, but aggression and a desire to police how other people feel about the show.  

And on that note, I’ll continue to criticise the show in my own way, and as I feel it’s necessary, but I’m also not going to be posting diatribes after the end of each episode criticising the minutiae. 

I just want to enjoy it. 

#jazillia007