#I am sad again and I know that bc im writing self indulgent fan fiction again laugh out loud

[notquitecanon]

Stardust & Fungi // Egon Spengler x reader

Me, breaking my writers block with shittily written fluff about a ghostbuster? More likely than you think]

Warnings: none other than this is top ten worst things I've ever written lol

"Is there a reason you're staring at me?" Egon asked, not glancing up from his microscope as he jotted down his observations. If it was still the days of stolen glances and supposedly unrequited feelings, or even in the early days of your relationship, you would have blushed at being caught, averted your eyes and found something to occupy yourself with. Though those days were cherished in their own right, they were in the past.

So, at his accusation you just smiled lazily over at him, chin propped in your hand, offering a challenge, "Do I need a reason?"

The scientist thought for a second, carefully adjusting the focus on the microscope, "I don't suppose so, though typically I can deduce what I'm doing to garner such attention. Right now I can't find anything of note."

You snorted a laugh, shaking your head as you closed your book- as if his entire existence hadn't been 'of note' to you since you met him, "Well, I just happen to think my boyfriend looks very cute when he's analyzing fungus blooms."

You knew your teasing found it's mark when his usual precise movement jerked, throwing the fine adjustment knob completely out of focus. Egon spared you a flustered glance before he fervently fixed the focus again, ducking his head back to the ocular piece to hide the flush creeping up his neck.

Slowly, like a cat after a nap, stretching lazily you rose from your perch, your very own, lovingly assigned lab stool. The stool was a small seemingly meaningless gesture from Egon that if you knew the scientist, had several layers of subtext. To start with, it was the only surface in the lab that was safe from the good doctor's 'organized' chaos. This particular still had a back and cushion, appearing ~randomly~ the day after you had complained of a sore back. It always had an extra lab coat, discarded sweater, or sports coat hanging on the back since you often complained the lab was too cold. Typically, the stool was parked next to his super top secret snack stash that was classified information to everyone in the firehouse. And while others were allowed to sit on your stool, the moment you entered the lab Egon would wordlessly shoo them away or stare at them until they caught the hint- Peter liked to test these limits just to mess with him. The stool was how the other ghostbusters knew how Egon really felt about you.

When it came to Egon, it was all in the details, and you had become fluent in reading between the lines.

"Cute isn't the word choice that I would go with," The scientist muttered after changing the specimen again with you slowly moving to hover behind him.

"So sorry, you're right, my boyfriend looks very handsome when he's analyzing..." You trailed off for a second, squinting to read the cursive label soon the slide, "Ganoderma Gibbsom."

He spared a glance over his shoulder, the faintest blush still in his cheeks as he leaned back ever so slightly so the curve of his back was flush to your front, "Excellent pronunciation."

"I've had a pretty good teacher." You hummed at the praise, pressing a kiss to the shoulder of his lab coat and then one to his jawline, internally preening at how he leaned into the contact. Egon chuckled- your favorite sound amplified by how the sound vibrated through his chest and into your skin- before tilting his head so his lips could catch yours briefly. You smiled against his kiss, "How's your fungus, honey?"

"It's preparing to reproduce." He informed you, motioning the microscope towards you- both to share his interest and to have a moment to wipe your lipstick off his lips. He leaned sideways so you could scoot forwards and press an eye to the ocular piece. You squinted against the bright light and observed for a moment.

It was, in fact, fungus. Just fungus to you, and it looked exactly what fungus should look like- fungussy like. But, if it was interesting to Egon, so it was interesting to you. You watched the specimens wiggle a bit before relinquishing the microscope back to the scientist.

"Getting real hot and heavy in there," You joked, pressing one last kiss to the top of his head, "Should I leave you two alone?"

Egon rolled his eyes but his famous sideways smile crept up as his gaze followed you back to your stool, "You're no better than Venkman."

"I'm a little better than Venkman." You retorted with a faux sense of offense, hand to your chest though your grin was cheeky. Egon hummed as he jotted something down, so you flicked a discarded straw wrapper at him, giggling when he only offered you a withering look.

"You love me." You 'reminded' him, taking you assigned seat and parking it across his work bench so you could be closer to him. Peeking over his microscope at you, his gaze softened as he nodded curtly.

"I do." Egon's voice was soft and sincere- some might say even out of character but you knew that tone was reserved just for you. His admission earned him another smile as you took your book back out.

The lab fell back into comfortable silence, just the two of you enjoying the other's presence as you each worked on your own hobby. Or, at least, Egon worked on his. You couldn't get past the the page you had opened to- not for lack of interest, earlier Winston had gotten through an entire conversation before he realized you were nose deep in your book, and still took five minutes to get your attention, and certainly not for lack of trying, you'd read the first six lines easily fifteen times. By line four your mind would start wandering, by line five you'd be stealing glances at the scientist across from you, and by line six and seven your brain would discard everything you just read in favor of daydreaming.

About twenty minutes passed and you were only able to turn the page once. You did however manage to steal at least seventeen dreamy glances at Egon, mentally decorate your future shared apartment, plan your honeymoon, and a hundred other little things. Between thoughts of the future, there was also reminiscing. How you met, late nights in the lab, the long and awkward pining phase, patching him up after busts, your first kiss, all the times you'd made him laugh...

"What are you thinking about?" Egon asked, looking up from his notes. That was one of the things you loved about him, despite being the smartest guy in any room, he always wanted to know what was going on in your head. His voice snapped you out of your own mind, this time you did blush.

"Oh, not much, just reading." You shrugged after clearing your throat, holding your book up with a little shake as if to say- see?

"You're average reading rate is 300-350 words per minute, yet you've only turned the page once since you opened the book again, suggesting your mind is preoccupied with something else." He explained. How could you forget just how observant the scientist was, of course he would notice your distraction. You sighed.

"You're going to think I'm crazy." You laughed a bit, knowing even you thought you were a little crazy. Egon simply arched a single eyebrow over his glasses, as if to say, 'try me.'

"Should I remind you that we're still excavating marshmallow goo out of all our gear from the 100 foot staypuft marshmallow man?" He asked sarcastically, pushing the microscope aside to give you his undivided attention. You breathed a short laugh- how could you forget? Ray still complained about Ecto1's permanently stick back seat.

You met Egon's dark eyes, his oh-so-always-serious face, his large calloused hands folded in front of him as he waited for you to explain. Leaning forward, you traced a single but gentle nail over one of the small scars that decorated his left hand, product of lab work gone wrong, you had been the one to bandage it.

"I know you don't believe in the idea, but..." You trailed off, folding your hands into his. As always, his hands, large and warm, gentle despite the roughness of working, encompassed yours completely. Like they were made for you and you alone, "I didn't until I met you. I think, if soulmates are real, then you must be mine."

After you said it, you closed your eyes, expecting his to spare a laugh or have some scientific lecture to disprove your rather sappy theory. You had no doubt Egon loved you, he proved it in little ways everyday, but he was still a man of science through and through. He didn't believe in luck, superstitions, destiny, or fate. When he didn't immediately rebuff you, you peeked your eyes back open to find the scientist deep in thought.

His brow was furrowed like It did when he was trying to figure something out, usually you loved that look, loved watching how his brain worked, but now it made you a little nervous. Your relationship with Egon hadn't followed any of the typical time markers or milestones of normal relationships- but maybe it was too early to droop the 'we were made for each other' on him. Or maybe, he just didn't agree.

"Many scientists believe that the carbon that makes us up is billions of years old, even trillions. Remnants of supernovas and dying stars, and it was this stardust that drifted for lightyears before eventually being composed into planets, flora, fauna, and eventually humans. Using that notion, one could hypothesize that perhaps our idea off soulmates could be reduced to two individuals sharing carbon of the same origin, finding its way back to itself over and over again in the carbon cycle despite all odds," Egon thought aloud, staring at your interlocked hands before lifting his gaze to your eyes, "Perhaps, that could explain our immediate attraction, how we play to each other, gravitate towards the other... carbon matter, stardust, soulmates, perhaps could be all the same thing."

You were stunned to silence, picking through the scientific jargon absorbing perhaps the most romantic thing anyone had ever said to you, but Egon wasn't finished.

"And whole I can't definitively prove or disprove this theory, I... savor the idea of us being soulmates. Very few other things in the world make as much sense to me as that." His admission was quiet, though it echoed around your head for a while all you could do was stare back at him with tears threatening to prick the the corners of your eyes, "So, in summary, no, I don't think you're crazy, (Y/N)."

Blinking your tears away, you forced a chuckle through a suddenly tight throat, squeezing his hands before lifting them so you could press a sweet kiss to his knuckles.

"That was the sweetest, most romantic science lesson I've ever heard, Egon," You whispered, feelings running crazy but offering a grin nonetheless.

"I concur, though I think in most relationships such heartfelt confessions are punctuated by more than just a kiss to the hand." Egon theorized, arching another brow at you. You laughed, roughly wiping a happy tear away as you nodded.

You pretended to think about it fore a moment before reaching into the drawer nearest you where you knew your quarry laid. With a smirk, you slid the worn out 'maid service Do-not-disturb' door sign across the table to him.

"I think you might be right, Dr. Spengler."

#egon spengler x reader #egon spengler imagines #dr. spengler x reader #ghostbusters x reader #Egon x reader #I am sad again and I know that bc im writing self indulgent fan fiction again laugh out loud

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah i suppose ur right. yeah i think quarentine has had that sort of effect on a lot of people :( sorry to hear abt ur strict parents, hopefully ur friend will be able to come back soon. small outings (even with family) are still good tho, make sure ur taking care of urself toff.

youre totally right! ah yes thats good advice (/gen) ill try and use that when im in a slump ty. any music suggestions?

lol sames. even some of the stuff abt seungmin, innie etc is a little uncomfortable, like theyre grown ass men for sure, but at the same time, theyre still young, still just over being a teenager in the grand scheme of things. (on that note, i do struggle with worrying that im infantalising them, obviously theyre adults but at the same time, theyre still young. i do treat all fictional characters as my children, but i guess its different when its real people. idk. what do you think?) yeah some stans rlly need to take a chill pill, some are rlly walking the wire between 'ah theyre attractive/that look rlly suits them' and making fucking smut fics abt minors, like... they do not see a problem with that?? yeah tbh i feel like unless theyre 18 they shouldnt be put into the spotlight, weve seen what it does to peoples mental health, but modern day kpop industry is a lot like old hollywood with a lot of popular child actors -_- hopefully the big companies will learn but i agree, its unlikely

suuuuure toff haha. ill go searching for them, but idk if ill be able to find the fluff needle in the angst haystack (jkjk) yeah, fair i groan and complain but you do write angst etc rlly well, so if its what ur comfortable with, then pls continue, it is one of your strong suits, well as you write fluff aside

ah okay good! ill continue to send you essays then

THE ALBUM YES. so ive been looking forward to it for literally months, this is actually my first skz album release as a stay (since the last on was 9 months ago) i was sitting there hitting refresh on my spotify the second 6pm kst came around. (speaking of which, how did you do the release? i couldnt decide whether to watch or listen first but i ended up on listening cos there would be more material) okay: so cheese was super cool, very skz ya know? tho i almost wish theyd made domino the title track, tho obv it was a more experimental track and would have been a bit controversial (much like whistle for bp) i looooved domino and thunderous was absolutely impeccable. all the songs were amazing but standouts were- secrets, secrets which lowkey made me tear up idk why, red lights which almost killed me (it did not have to go that hard, but it did) and OT8 WOLFGANG omgggg i wasnt sure if hyunjin was going to be included in it but i was hoping and, ya know people had said hed be in there, but the further i got in, the less i was sure and then BAM hyunjin started what had been jisung's part and i just sat there grinning for about 5 minutes. surfin was absolutely adorable and gone away almost made me cry AGAIN. star lost was so touching, almost a nod to hyunjins little star? silent cry was relatable beyond anything. SSICK was funny? for some reason I was laughing while it was playing, idk the combination of added cheering and minhos aggressiveness and the totall seriousness they sung it. but i rlly enjoyed it. sorry i love you showcased their vocals like nothing else. the view is THE BOP of 2021, absolutely going to be stuck in my head for the next decade, that hook is genius. what did you think?

also did you watch their grow up performance? with all the stays and ALL THE TEARS? ;n; i feel like this is the end of an era of skz and tbh im kinda happy but also sad. super excited for their promotions but super bummed they wont get to tour. ah well

<3 w.a. 🐺

answer under the cut bc i gave an equally long answer to this already long ask HAJSH

oh yeah, abt quarantine having an effect. my friend and i talked about this earlier actually. i didn't realize the world was moving so fast until the pandemic happened. being in quarantine gave me time to think and i got to know myself more. it's just the sole good thing i got out of the isolation lmao. and abt my strict parents, ironically i got to go out today so i got to hang out with a few of my bestfriends. i had fun but my legs are a bit sore from walking. but they're a different set of friends. i'll get to hang out with the others when my getaway driver comes home in december.

hmm music recommendations for writing? depends on the plot you're writing. care to share what story you're working on and i'll try to rake my brain for a song that might match the vibe. i listen to classical / lo-fi if i don't have song inspo for a fic because lyrics sometimes distract me.

i don't think that's infantilizing tho. for me, it has something to do with my environment and the way i was raised. maybe it's the same the other way around? like this certain age (for the ones above 18 but below 20) is thirst-able for them. idk really. it's just not for me ?n? what i do NOT condone is writing smut for minors??? like get checked : D // i agree with everything with the idols being 18+ before they debut simply because it's for the best for their well-being like. how can young idols decide that this shit is the thing they want to do for life? or at least until their contracts last. idk :// it's unfortunate that it's unlikely to happen.

WELL. i have a list so you won't have to go search for them! in class (minho), in the rain (seungmin), gladius maximus (chan) and you've read five star already. and i just realized that most, if not all, of my upcoming fics are fluffs and i'm fond of all of them :D i used to focus a lot on angst because fluff disgusted the living shit out of me. i think things changed when i wrote champagne problems and hurt myself so bad i wanted to drop angst entirely. i didn't, of course, but i allowed myself to be self-indulgent now.

for the release of the album, i was on twt and watched the vid at 12 views (if i remember correctly, i watched back door at 14 so HASJH) i’m gonna talk by track so it wont be too confusing? bc i wrote this in paragraph format and it just ???? beware im very picky with tracks even if they’re my ults. so no offense if we have opposing opinions and i’m not fond of reading lyrics so these are all music wise.

cheese - oh god i hated cheese at first listen but it grew on me easily. i was singing the yeahyeahyeahyeah bit all day today :D

thunderous - i cant say that it’s my favorite title track. it felt really dry sometimes, both mv and music wise. but at the same time, it’s not that bad. the choreography carried the song tho o.O it’s so fucking cool. but like go live, another track has my heart and it’s

domino - AND YES I AGREE THAT THEY SHOULDVE MADE DOMINO TITLE TRACK UGHHHHH WHAT A WASTED FUCKING OPPORTUNITY. WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW FOND I AM OF THIS SONG. it stands close to the level i love easy.

ssick - was a skip on first listen too because i found the chorus underwhelming but it grew on me? not that much but i can bear listening to it.

the view - it’s something the gen public like, hence its something i dislike. im not fond of songs that are structured like this? it’s not a bad song, just not the type of song i like. but i agree that the hook is very not catchy but it would get stuck in ur head.

sorry, i love you - it’s not as sad as i expected but i actually like it??? i can’t wait to write a fic out of it (1) HAJSHAJ it’s like a 3/5 for me. it’s angsty but chill?

silent cry - i’m pissed at this song bc it hits but sometimes it doesn’t?@?#!? but it’s starting to grow on me but definitely not my fave track.

secret secret - glad i found a secret secret enthusiast because my irls thought it was a skip?$?#@$? it gives me ikon vibes and i’m a huge fan of ikon’s discog so this was a win for me T_T +

STAR LOST - gives me bigbang song vibes and now im very sad :(( in case u didnt know, i’m a hUGE yg fan and 2ne1/bigbang introduced me to kpop so when i heard this track that gave me yg feels i just <3___<3 and it’s one of my favorite tracks anw moving on,

red lights - I WANT TO SKIP THE FIRST TEN SECONDS OF RED LIGHTS EVERY TIME IT PLAYS LIKE IT MAKES ME FEEL AWKWARD KDSJFSK but fine. i’m adding this to props and mayhem’s playlist LMAO it’s more aggressive than sexc tho. more enemies to lovers o. O

surfin’ - this coming right after red lights just wasn’t the best decision arrangement wise because how did we go from ooh sexc to aigh pARTAY. felix saying sheesh T___T it’s such a fun song i want to go to the beach ;n; do you like beaches?

gone away - i have yet to read the lyrics because i’m using this as inspo for a jeongin fic jskjash it’s not the type of ballad i like but it’s so fucking sad to listen to :’ ) the pitch change caught me off guard? still does. it’ll grow on me prolly.

wolfgang - I YELLED WHEN I HEARD HYUNJIN IN WOLFGANG. i didn’t like this song until recently. it gives me the confidence boost i need to pick myself off self-esteem crashes.

and no i haven't watched that performance and i prolly wont because i’ll cry. i’m excited for the promotions too. do you think they’ll still have a repackage?? i cant fucking believe that i just finished waiting for 12am kst for skz teasers and now i have to look forward to 12am for nct 127??@?#? NOT A SINGLE DAY OF REST FOR THIS STAYZEN

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺