#I am still proud of squeezing something sensible out of the ds jaesa choice

[xivu-arath]

Rkorya turned a padawan to the dark side and gained an apprentice. Jaesa had her life ruined and a new one offered in the same breath, and she took it. It takes them a while to realize that this story hasn't quite ended.

Jedi fear attachment, think it makes them weaker and swayed by the trivial whims of those around them, and at first, Jaesa thought the Sith were much the same – revelling in the feeling of the moment, but cutting away each bond when it became too permanent, too vulnerable. But Rkorya takes that sentiment and turns each connection into her strength, guards those near her fiercely. So no, she would rather have tossed herself off of the sanctum than seriously punish or injure her apprentice.

On some days, she finds it sweet, a devotion that she strains to match in service and loyalty. But on others, it’s jarring to be cared for, protected, even as she can see her disapproval whenever she comes back from a night out, streaked in sweat and blood. When they train, the difference between them gapes open like a void that can’t be filled, that aches with uncertainty, and she doesn’t know what she can do to make it better. She’s opened herself to the dark side, embraced her anger, and yet it’s never enough.

That it troubles Rkorya as much as it does her is a bitter balm – she doesn’t want to be the problem apprentice, forever the weak link. Some part of it might be her master’s fault, even if she is Sith to her bones, but... how much of it is her own?

#repostober #rkorya #sith warrior #swtor fic #jaesa willsaam #I am still proud of squeezing something sensible out of the ds jaesa choice #can't believe I devoted so much effort to fixing up bioware's fuck ups... six years ago aaaaaaa