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dontbeathorloser-blog · 6 years

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Three Blondes Walk Into A Bar || Hulkling, Thor and Quasar

Teddy, Thor and Wendell are dispatched on a mission to investigate a dangerously drifting oil tanker. However not all is as it appears.

Teddy landed with a thud on the ship’s control centre, wings morphing away into his back. He wasn’t trying to be quiet, they were to be expected. He jumped down onto the ships deck and entered the room. He had planned to speak to the captain of the ship, but the room was empty which wasn’t normal. “Hulkling to team, the captain isn’t here, maybe they abandoned ship to let us do our thing or he’s in the engineering room or whatever.” Teddy wasn’t sure how ships worked, but he was sure the captain was supposed to be steering, but if the ship couldn’t change course, he supposed that you didn’t really need to steer. He was nervous, it was the first time working with Thor and Quasar, he was used to his team, but when S.H.I.E.L.D asks, you don’t exactly say no. “I can see the Island so I think we might have to move fast.”

While Wendell was still not an official hero, his probation offered him a bit of leeway when it came to getting a spot on certain missions that would not prove too much to handle. The upward limits of his absorption still couldn’t be determined so he was prohibited from being assigned anywhere with high voltage or energy reserves, though that didn’t seem to stop S.H.I.E.L.D. from pairing him up with Thor. He was instructed to stay closer to Hulkling just for good measure. This was why he hovered close to where Teddy had dipped into the ship’s upper deck. He landed soon after the younger male and began moving into the ship’s inner workings. “Quasar here,” he said into the intercommunication device lodged behind his ear. “I’ll head toward the engine room. These things aren’t electrical, so I can’t syphon any energy off of it, but I can try to shut off the main gas supply from in there.”

Though he had been on missions with the other Avengers before, Thor had never had the pleasure of operating with a S.H.I.E.L.D. ‘team’ before. They’d given him a comm channel, a small ear piece that they slotted into his left ear, before strapping a microphone to his helmet and even giving him a brief on what he should expect. “This is Thunderbird.” He had decided that he needed a new codename other than y’know, his actual name. “Wait no this is Lightningbird,” he smirked before shaking his head as he continued to hover above the ship, “I need more time for my new name.” He decided as he watched the ship drift closer and closer to the island at an alarming rate. “As soon as we cut the power I can prevent the ship from continuing in it’s trajectory, but at it’s current rate I won’t be able to halt it’s progress.” Even the God of Thunder had limits.

Teddy couldn’t help but laugh as Thor rattled off codenames. “I think you should stick to Thor.” He chuckled before leaving the room and making his way to the front deck of the ship. The ship gave him the shivers, like a ghost town would. “I don’t get it, where is everyone? There weren’t any evac vehicles we passed on the way here.” He realized that he wasn’t exactly being useful and leaped off the deck and flew towards the front of the tanker. He wasn’t used to not having America lead the team and nobody giving him orders. “Thor, or uh, Thunderbird 1, perhaps if we push the front of the ship on one side, we could change its direction?” He wasn’t sure if he’d have enough strength to work against the ships steering mechanisms, especially at this speed, but they had to try something in case Quasar couldn’t shut the engines off.

“Yeah, it’s almost a little too Twilight Zone for me. That show always gave me the creeps,” Wendell mentioned as he wandered about looking for the engine room. He found it rather swiftly. After inspecting the door and listening for any odd sounds, he pushed in and was met with a set of pipes and gears he had no clue how to work. If only he’d gone into the Navy reserves instead of infantry. “Yeah, okay...eenie...meenie...minie...you.” He grabbed onto a valve and spun it. Fire reared from the oil burner and he jumped back as it hissed, blue eyes blinking rapidly through his possible blunder. He pressed the intercom with the pad of his index finger. “Not sure which valve is the one with the fuel in it, so I’ll just turn them all.” And that’s what he did, going about spinning cogs indiscriminately until the whirring noises tapered out. “How’s it looking out there, Hulkling and Lightningbird? Are we losing any speed?”

“I’ve re-thought the bird options and decided that I am not only to majestic to be known as a bird, but also far too deadly, but Thunderrattleshark doesn’t have the same ambiance, bards wouldn’t sing great tales of Thunderrattleshark the Lord of Lightning,” Thor, ordered as he hung in the air momentarily before dropping down and placing Stormbreaker on his back. With it securely in place, he moved to the front of the ship and then to the right. Pushing with all his might, he could feel the ship begin to turn and begin to slow down. Of course it would be far more difficult than he had anticipated. That was just the way of the world. Sighing dejectedly, he moved back up to the deck of the ship and spotted the ships anchor. “Hulkling, try and find a way to drop the anchors, that will slow the ship down enough to stop it I believe.” With his new plan in mind, he wiped sweat from his brow and kept pushing, doing everything in his might to stop the ship.

Hulking thought Thor’s codename was ridiculous. “I honestly think Thor works just fine.” He flew over to the back of the ship and landed on the anchor. He jumped a few times before changing his plan. He was now tugging at the metal chains that held the anchor in place. “It’s not working, where would the mechanisms be?” With a flag of the wings, he leaped to the control room again, pushing and pulling every button and lever he could, even scaring himself by pulling the ships horn by accident. Eventually his hand made his way to a lever that had its end broken off. “I found the anchor lever, but it’s broken off.” He couldn’t understand why. “Guys, I have a bad feeling about this…”

A lot of things happened all at once. The whirring of the oil had stopped, but in its place came a sudden grinding and a force against the side of the ship Wendell could only assume was from his allies attempting to stop the ship. His communication device buzzed with their conversation and he headed his way out of the engine room to the front deck. “We missed ‘a bad feeling’ two lefts ago. This took a sharp right into—Oh fuck!” Suddenly, the ship’s grinding had increased exponentially, becoming terribly jarring to the ear. Wendell had to cup his head to try and keep out the sound. One of his eyes was forced shut in a flinch. “Guys, it’s…” he tried to get out, but ended up wincing as his ears popped. It carried on for about a minute or so, with each second droning on for individual eternities. Once it passed, Wendell’s ears held a constant ring to them that made his teeth feel the need to chatter. He almost missed the sound of the lower deck opening up. Heavy footfall indicated that people were approaching the upper deck. “We, uh, have company.”

Thor had been forcing his body against the ship as its engines had cut out. Driving his shoulder into a boat that dwarfed any Viking longboat that he had ridden on was something he hadn’t exactly planned. He couldn’t help groaning from the strain of it, he heard the ship protest and creak in response as he pushed it away from the island or at least attempted to. As he finally managed to stall the ship, he hovered for a moment. Seconds later he began moving to the deck of the ship, he forcefully grasped the anchor and tugged it into the ocean without too much strain. “Thor here; I have solved our little anchor problem,” he said into his comm link, “Quasar, can you tell who the company is, something about the entire scenario is peculiar. The oddness of this situation would startle even the good Doctor Stephen Strange.” He laughed, loudly at his own joke. “Hulkling, you’re closer to Quasar’s position and it will take me a few moments to reach either of you. Link up and head for the deck, I want to be able to execute a swift exit if necessary.” He took one final look at the ship, as it slowly ground to a halt a ew kilometres off the island coast,

Teddy’s jaw had somewhat dropped open at the might of Thor as he yanked the anchor chain loose. Thor’s order had awaken him and he realized he was staring at the muscular god through the ships front windows that peered out onto the decks out front. “Yeah, Right, On it.” He said as he turned on his heels and ran straight into another muscular man, not quite impressive as Thor, but still intimidating, that was blocking the cabin’s exit. Teddy stumbled backwards before speaking, “Excuse me, I believe you’re in the way.” The changeling quickly let his human form morph into his natural alien state, growing taller in seconds. “I’d say pick on someone your own size, but oh wait, that’s me now too.” He threw a punch at the man, he blocked it and delivered one of his own. The two sparred for a few seconds before Teddy finally threw a winning punch and knocked the other man out. “The company isn’t exactly friendly.” He stated over the comms, something he was sure Wendel already knew. “Where are you Quasar?”

After blinking through the pain that rang in his ears, Wendell touched the device near his ear to hear what the others were saying. Handle the company. Got it. “I’m coming,” he said as he quickly rushed down to where he could hear the footfall. As he moved, he flexed both of his hands and channeled as much sunlight as he could with the cover of the ship overhead. It wasn’t a lot, but it might be just enough to knock a few people down. He rounded a corner, got a good look at ten men rushing in the opposite direction, and the speed he used to spin back around that same corner before he was shot could only be described as inhuman. “I’m here.” He needed to quickly form a plan to dispatch all of the enemies in front of him. He didn’t think he had enough energy to create a cage just yet. How about a ball? One formed in his hands about the size of a baseball and the footsteps were only getting closer. He allowed it to bounce between his hands for only a moment, then sent it flying on the other side of the corner. It connected with the first man’s chest, bursted, and took out all but one of his allies with a strong pulse. The last man stood on shaky legs, having been knocked backward. Wendell was fast. He crowded the stranger’s space and delivered a punch to the man’s face with enough force to flip him. He took a second to survey them. “I think...they don’t look like crewmen.” Wendell had no time to check them out any further, however, as he was now face-to-face with another group. There was a man with a safari hat and an admission, one that the blond superhero was sure to record through his communication device for his teammates to hear. They were a distraction. The real poaching was commencing as they spoke. “Uh oh.”

The unfamiliar accent that rang through their comms as the man in the safari hat addressed Wendell, made it clear to Thor that they weren’t here for a meet and greet. Quite the opposite infact. Apparently they were attempting to empty animals off of the island, something that Thor could not abide by. He was a protector of the weak, a defender of the innocent and he would not allow these men to continue to take advantage of those who were unable to defend and protect themselves. “I shall way lay them before they can move the animals,” he announced, leaping into the air and using his abilities to take flight. “But I’ve got company.” Already he could spot aircraft moving towards him as he streaked through the sky heading towards the island. Twin propellers sending the aircraft hurtling towards him were the least of his worries however. The most pressing matter was the arsenal of high tech weapons hanging from the bottom of the black ship. A peppering of energy blasts rattled past him, scorching his armour and knocking him lower in altitude. “I’ve got company, make sure that the targets on the ship are detained, I’ll handle this.”

Teddy instantly felt torn. He wanted to help Thor save the animals, but at the same time, they still had to take down the men on the ship and essentially stop it. He raced down stairs to below deck, summoning Excelsior and taking out anyone who stood in his way. Teddy knew he was getting close when a flash of light appeared down the hall. Quickly he turned the corner, prepared for anything. He turned the corner so fast that he almost tripped over the men that had been knocked out by Wendell. “Woah. Nice job dude.” He said with a smile before wiping his head around in the direction which more footsteps were coming from. “Do you think you can do that again?” He asked with a smirk. He more than okay to stay behind and fight At Wendell’s side, but they were running out of time. “I mean, do you think you can do that again but at the engine? If you can shut it down, I’ll handle these guys?”

Relief was only temporary when Teddy appeared, mostly because he was being shot at only seconds later. Wendell rushed forward. He kept his body low to the floorboards beneath him to make his target smaller and harder to hit, allowing him to close the distance between himself and the first man. With aggressive force, he lifted the man up and slammed him down onto the ship. Thankfully, he didn’t have enough energy stored for extra augmented strength or he could’ve knocked him through the material of the vessel. “I think I’ve already fried the engine. We should be coming to a full stop soon,” he replied as he worked around the first guy’s body and knocked his fist into the face of a second. Then a third. Another man shot him in the back and the blue pulse of his weapon wrapped around the impact zone, drawing itself into Wendell’s bands as he toppled forward. His eyes flashed yellow and he had to quickly roll away to recover. “...but I can expedite that process if i can just get my hands on one of their weapons.” He slid toward the first guy, snatched his gun, rolled away and landed near the second, stole a second weapon, and took off for the bow of the ship. “I’m leaving them to you. I’m gonna go stop the ship.” As he moved, Wendell gripped the high powered firearms between both hands and concentrated on pulling the energy from them. The power coursed through him like blood through veins, only it was far warmer than he cared for it to be. He wouldn’t keep it for long, however. “Alright. All passengers please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at this time and brace yourselves for impact.” His body was obviously rejecting it and he released it as he held his hands out in front of him. A large wall of yellow light sketched itself out in front of the ship and when the mass made contact, the entire ship jolted, but it broke through the wall. Slowly. Very slowly. The grinding noise began again, but this time it felt like it was coming to a close any time now.

Ducking beneath a third volley of energy blasts that hurtled his way, Thor dipped towards the water before soaring upwards. Energy coarsed through Stormbreaker, and a lance of lightning hurtled towards the aircraft, clipping its undercarriage and sending it spiralling through the air. But it didn’t take long for the pilot to regain control, and within moments he had retaliated, hitting Thor with not a single missile, but three. Two seemed excessive, but as the third explosion caught his side he went head over heels and crashed into the cold ocean water. Gasping for breath, he pushed his wet cape out of his face and took flight once more. Charging his hammer as he went, he slammed the electrically charged weapon through the windshield and jerked it free, punching the lights out of the pilot and taking a step backwards before allowing the aircraft to spiral towards the water, a plume of black smoke pouring off of the aircraft as it collapsed into the waves that crashed below. “I’ve dealt with our air company, if you two can cope with the villains who’ve taken possession of this ship then I shall do my utmost to prevent the poaching of anymore elephants and rhinos, but I must go now.”

Everything happened so fast that Teddy could barely grasped what had actually happened. Before he knew it, Wendell has disarmed two men and left Teddy alone with a mixture of conscious and unconscious men. His mind quickly caught up with the situation and he finished off the rest of the men before he began to drag the bodies into an open room nearby. The room seemed to be sleeping quarters with no way out except the front door. Teddy grunted as the ship jerked and sent him stumbling to the floor. He was about to complain but he assumed it was Wendell working his magic and stopping the ship. Teddy shifted the heavy men into the room and closed the door behind him, punching the door handle and breaking it so that the men couldn’t escape. “Cleanup in aisle 9 completed.” He said over the coms before making his way to Wendell’s side and patting him on the back. “Good job dude.” Teddy couldn’t help feeling that he wasn’t really needed on this mission, not with heroes like Thor and Quasar around. “Thor, do you need backup or are you good?”

Seeing heroes in action was something Wendell could admit he could watch for hours. He was a trained fighter, capable of holding his own against the enemy by very human standards, but the famous Avengers and those with similar clout were just more awesome than simple military training. He couldn’t help but think that when he watched Thor face off against the helicopter. It had more than just distracted him too. He’d stopped moving, feet planted firmly beneath him as he stared up with wide blue eyes and a mouth that was slightly agape. The god of thunder was a marvel of muscle and strength, capable of rather easily dispatching an entire aircraft. It was truly impressive. “What a man.” The words came out of him without a second thought. He didn’t even think to register that they’d actually been from his voice until he was being clapped on the back by his other teammate. Wendell looked over to him, checking the younger male for any signs of physical injury, and then smiled at him. The tips of his ears were pink, but not from any chill. “Thanks. You too. Sorry I left you with so many of them,” he said softly. He then looked back up to the skies. His finger tapped at his communication device. “I should go call the proper authorities, huh? Wait with the boat while you two handle the rest of the poachers.”

Hurtling through the air, Thor spotted a small camp full of cages and poachers with guns. There were some very depressed looking elephants and rhinos, he at least recognised those. Not all of Earth’s fauna and wildlife was as familiar to him as he would’ve liked, however there was only so much that he could learn in a limited time. But he recognised these two rather famous animals at least. They were something that he had seen on the discovery channel with his roommate Darryl. Pausing for a moment, he hung in the air before summoning a tempest. Dark clouds rumbled in the sky above him, thunder boomed and lightning crackled before it began to fork down towards the ground. Striking the sand and turning it into glass with the pure force behind it. “My name is Thor, God of Thunder, rightful heir to the throne of Asgard and you all have a few moments to vacate this island and never come back before I turn you into rugs for my castle.” He allowed the lightning within him to leak from his eyes, energy pouring out of him. The poachers seemed too terrified to move, until one of them picked up what looked like a rocket launcher and opened fire at Thor. “I think we might need all of us for this one.”

Teddy wasn’t too excited to leave Wendell alone to wait for the authorities, not because he didn’t think that Wendell could handle it, he was just used to the mindset of leaving no one alone during a team mission. A small sigh of relief left his mouth when Thor called for both their help, now he didn’t have to stress about it. With a grunt, reptilian wings sprouted from his shoulder blades and stretched up. “Basically a dinosaur here.” He joked and with a flap, his body began to defy gravity. “Keep up Quasar.” And with that he was off, soaring through the air. Thanks to Thor, they didn’t have to worry about any aircraft, but Teddy realized why Thor had called them when he approached the camp. A rocket launcher had been brought out and had Thor occupied. Teddy flew up before hurtling towards the ground, and just before impact, used his wings as a parachute, breaking his fall but still allowing him to land with enough force to crush the bonnet of one of their vehicles. Then, with a hulk-like leap, he flew over the heads and landed close to the rocket launcher. Teddy summoned Excelsior again, but before he even had times to use it, bullets from automatic weapons rained down on him, causing him to tuck and roll behind a nearby vehicle. “I — should have thought this through.”

Wendell wasn’t sure what to make of Thor needed assistance, considering something that would trump him would surely be too much for the new hero. However, he put the thought of his own inadequacies aside when Teddy began to fly up. Right. They were supposed to be...doing that. His bands gave the faintest of glows and his body began to rise as well, albeit a little shakily at first. “O-on it!” he called after the other blond and rushed behind him. Without any energy reserves, he wasn’t moving nearly as fast as he could have been, so it appeared more like a lazy flying stroll than a real flight. The upside to this was getting to take that extra time to assess the camp. There were plenty of people, including a few with war-grade weapons, but this brought more comfort than worry in Wendell’s mind. He may have still been rather green in the gills when it came to plasma cannons and the like, but bullets he understood. Men armed with bullets were exactly the sort of people he was trained to take down. He rushed toward a man with one of the launchers while he was distracted with Thor and collided with him, wrapping his thighs around the man’s head and flipping himself to bring the man to the ground. Once they landed, he rolled and kicked the man on the side of the neck, then turned his attentions to the others harrying Teddy. He was able to draw half of their gaze when he began disarming the men with standard CQC. That soon turned into most of their attention in seconds. His knuckles were going to be bruised after this mission.

Thor could’ve dealt with the men on the beach on his own. It would’ve been painful and it would’ve taken him a lot longer than he had time for. But he could’ve done it. He was sure that it would include many injuries and wounds that he could do without. But friendship was forged in battle, he could read. He could see that the times were changing and bringing about a change that would require them to stand strong together. If they were ever going to build a team together then it would be on moments such as these. “Quasar, keep dealing with the launchers, I shall draw most of their hellfire if I can help it.” Pausing once more, he raised Stormbreaker and leaped through the air, bringing the hammer down on an enemy with a savage strike. Thunder crackled through the sky, lightning lancing through him and blasting them backwards. “Teddy, you are on crowd control, prevent these villains from escaping and keep them from hurting anyone else. I will have all of their heads by the end of this.”

Teddy almost rolled his eyes as Thor said crowd control. That’s always what the sidekicks or kids are used for, but as Thor continued his sentence, he realized that’s not what Thor was asking of him. “Roger Dodger.” Teddy said but instantly regretted. “I mean, I got this.” Teddy leaped from his hiding place. Thanks to Wendell, the bullets had mostly stopped flying in his direction. With sword in hand, Teddy began working his way around all the vehicles, slashing tires and ‘hulk-smashing’ the engines. These bad guys were going nowhere unless they planned on going on foot. Taking out bad guys here and there, Teddy made his way through the camp and eventually came across the area where the animal cages where being kept. What would the poachers be fighting for if their goods were released back into the wild? Besides, a charging rhino would only help their cause right? Not right. As soon as Teddy broke the cage open, a small herd of three rhino’s charged off in Wendell’s direction. “Quasar! Watch out!” He shouted before leaping and mounting one of the rhino’s backs. He swung his sword out at any poacher in arms length, but most moved out of the animal’s path anyway. “At least they weren’t elephants.”

Had it not been for the very professional nature of their current mission, something entirely different might have been an immediate response to Wendell receiving an order. He could thank whatever deity above later that he chose the words: “Yes sir.” The alternative might have turned him into mush. Which, all things considered, was probably better than looking like cartoon cheese with all of the bullet holes the poachers were about to make a permanent part of his anatomy. He had to dodge and maneuver the best he could around the enemies, knocking out those who took their eyes off of him for a second and trying to disarm as many as he could along the way to the launchers. He managed to disrupt their ability to fire any more rockets when thunderous footfall caught his attention. He looked over, seemingly at the same time as every other able-bodied individual in the area, and screamed internally. Only...the internal scream appeared to have also happened externally. Additionally, for some reason, his first reaction was to push his hips out at the creature, as if somehow being presented with his pert backside would make them think ‘ew, a butt’ and they’d change course of direction. They didn’t. Wendell had to roll out of the way, narrowly missing getting fully trampled, and his recovery involved him thrusting his body at a nearby poacher. He lunged at the man and brought him down to the ground with him, sitting on his chest and punching him in the face. “I think I would’ve preferred the elephants. At least they’re…” he trailed off. His body rolled off of the man and he drop-kicked the next man, laying him out just as fast as he did the previous one. “...gentle.”

Thor paused for a moment to watch his team in action. It worked. They weren’t working together perfectly yet, but there was something here. More than something. This was a team that he would confidently work with once more. “Good job comrades,” he boomed as he caused a circle of lightning to spark out of the sky and prevent any of the poachers from escaping. “Their weapons are a bit too powerful for them to have done this on their own,” he said as he narrowly avoided what looked like a chitauri laser blast before dismantling the gun with a swing of Stormbreaker, “perhaps there is something more to this than a ship off course as a distraction to allow some poachers to steal ivory, a barbaric act if I ever saw one.” He ducked beneath the swing of one of the bad guys, and knocked them on their arse with a hammer swing.

Teddy looked back at Wendell to make sure he was alright before shakely standing up on the rhino and leaping off it’s back, landing on a poacher and punching his friend in the face almost simultaneously. Wendell had performed a good job at taking out many of the men and Thor as well. Teddy was just glad Kate wasn’t here otherwise he would of had to compete with her. He dodged a few more bullets before springing out at another group of poachers and knocking them unconscious. “Yeah, these definitely look alien to me, I wonder who they got them from?” The sound of helicopter blades caused Teddy to whip his neck around into the sky. At first he thought it only meant more poachers, but when he saw the wings and eagle of the SHIELD sign on the side of the helicopter, he let out a sigh of relief. The alien tech was definitely something that they would have to follow up on, and leaving the poachers with the anyone else but shield at this point made him feel a little uneasy. Teddy used the opportunity to take out another two guys that were distracted by the helicopter. Other than that, it seemed like most of the poachers had dropped their weapons in surrender. “I guess this counts as a win right?” He asked his team over the comms.

The battle was arduous, but overall not as bad as Wendell had assumed it to be. Perhaps the hardest part was dodging bullets and animals while trying to fight. Thankfully, the ballistic nylon of the suit hadn’t been punctured by any shots that hadn’t missed him, but the bruising his skin would take on from the impacts would surely keep him up tonight. As he rolled off of another unconscious poacher, he shot a blue eyed glance up to the sky where the helicopter was approaching. “We’ll analyze the tech later and it’s a good thing so many of them are still alive. Maybe we can get some information out of them,” he said as he locked eyes with one of the poachers. They dropped their weapon and he gave them a curt nod. They didn’t want to get attacked any more than Wendell wanted to move forward to do so. Mutual understandings were nice. “I think this is a victory. What’s the, uh, after-party of a mission look like? Should we all get donuts? Krispy Kreme is on me.”

Frowning gently as the battle ended almost as abruptly as it had began Thor stroked his beard before nodding gently. “Those that know of this technology will get to analyse it,” he said agreeing with Wendell, “I am not qualified to make a comment about it and I stopped an oil tanker with my bare hands. So I could do with a break.” Pausing, he looked over the poachers before nodding. “Aye, I expect they know something about it, but let the authorities handle them. These villains are not our mess to deal with. At least anymore.” Pausing at the mention of doughnuts, Thor’s face lit up with happiness. “Ah, yes, I know doughnuts, let’s have ourselves a dozen each!”

#aprimemission #aprimewriting #p: wendell #aprimemission001 #three blondes walk into a bar #p: teddy #para #chatzy para #chatzy

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