#I legit haven’t had a strong irl friendship since my best friend moved in 2017

[the-cookie-of-doom]

One thing my relationship (+ maturing in general over the last 2 years) taught me is confidence wrt relationships, and now I’m?? Lowkey flirting with a coworker??? Like I all but asked him on a date, and I’m seriously trying to be normal about it bc I’ve been broken up for a 10 DAYS, no way I’m emotionally ready to get any kind of involved with anyone/anything, I’m gonna be focusing on myself for the next few years, but also? I’ve had a Lowkey crush on this guy since before my ex boyfriend and I even met, and the fact that I can even talk to him now, with it without flirting, reach out and ask if he wants to go do something with me later, etc. Shocking. Like I’m genuinely just trying to make friends, and that is Not Something I Do, especially towards someone I’m even remotely attracted to. Even towards someone I’m not!

And like. We didn’t make any concrete plans bc I’m in the middle of finals. I have no idea if he’ll follow through. And even that feels kinda good? I’m secure enough in myself that I’m not riddled with anxiety over whether or not I overstepped, if he was just being nice, if I have to change how I interact to be more palatable. Just a super casual “hey, I do this thing that I think you would really enjoy, I’d love to introduce you to it if you’re interested,” and move on without any awkwardness. For someone that used to have crippling anxiety with social interactions, it was great.

Adulting is wild. To anyone under 20 seeing this, thinking they’ll never make friends after they leave school. Don’t worry baby, it gets better.

#cookie speaks #I legit haven’t had a strong irl friendship since my best friend moved in 2017 #I have no idea how to form connections with people #I always assume no one wants to spend more time with me than they have to #and god FORBID I ask if anyone wants to do something with me outside of our specific conditions #in this case work #but I’ve been trying really hard to start building those connections #adult friendships are h a r d #but they can work if you just put yourself out there #having gone through my first breakup now #I’m definitely not as afraid of rejection #I don’t have to base my self worth on what someone else thinks of me