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obrientheknot · 5 years

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6.27...and then there were 8!

So it all started when I asked one of Kyle’s sister-in-law’s to be in the wedding. Her name is Nicole; she is only five years older than me and we are very close (to the point where I will text her or we will chat about life once a week, like, we would be friends if we met and Kyle wasn’t in the picture). The first time we met she was only engaged to Dan (Kyle’s brother), and we had a lot in common, like a love of drinking and ridiculous drunk stories (reminder I was only 20 going on 21 when we met).

Kyle has a second sister-in-law, her name is Lori. Lori is my sister’s age, meaning she’s 10 years older than me. She and BJ (Kyle’s other brother) were already established adults when I met them. AKA they had a house, a kid with another on the way, etc. We were not as close as Nicole and I, because we didn’t have as much in common. There’s more backstory but I’ll keep it short.

A few months ago when kyle and I were discussing our wedding parties he told me that he had seven people that he wanted in his party, so that I knew I had to have seven. I thought that if I had one of the sister-in-laws in the wedding it wouldn’t be an issue, plus I figured that I didn’t have many close girl cousins and Nicole is probably the closest to me outside of my family and friends. Also I wanted to involve her because she’s fun to be around and she’s cool, duh.

So I asked Nicole with my original round of girls. Of course she said yes, everyone said yes, I had seven Kyle had seven, and things were peachy keen.

I had always planned to ask Lori to either be the child wrangler (because she loves the kids) or to do a reading during the ceremony. There was never a time when I didn’t plan on having her in the wedding, she just wasn’t going to be in my wedding party. Not out of malice, just because she and I weren’t super close.

I probably should’ve thought about this at that time, but we were going to have all three of Kyle‘s brothers, all three of his nephews, his only niece, his parents, and my whole family in the wedding. Lori was literally the only one who wasn’t going to be directly involved with the wedding parties.

Fast forward to about two months ago. Mrs. O came over to our apartment because we were going to sit down and have a discussion about budget. Right before she left she said to me “hey… Are you planning to ask Lori to be in the wedding?” I was kind of blindsided and said no. She looked at me and said, “well mr. O asked and I was thinking that everybody else in the family is in the wedding and she would feel left out...”

I guess I really did have to tell you the backstory for all this to make sense: so Mrs. O and Lori haven’t always gotten along. When she had her first son there was a bunch of...not bad feelings...but just some weird stuff happened and it was icy between the two of them. I can’t really go into detail about it, but things haven’t always been smooth sailing. It was an issue when we took a family vacation a few years ago. Things have been getting better between them, but I really didn’t think Mrs. O would care if I didn’t have her in the wedding.

“Well I was going to ask her to do a reading...”

“I’m sure that’ll be fine...I was just saying because the whole family is in the wedding..she would feel bad..but I’m sure that’s fine!”

So now I’m like fuck… Did Lori actually say something to Mrs. O? Because of course I would hate to join his family with any bad blood. I would hate if someone felt left out.

Mrs. O could see the wheels turning in my head and was like “no no no don’t worry about it I was just curious… She mentioned it to me but I didn’t really say anything about who you’d asked..I don’t think it’s a big deal, just curious!”

So you know how people always end up asking people to be in their weddings, that they don’t want to be in the wedding, because outside people tell them to do it? I really didn’t want this to be the case. I love them all, there were no issues, I was content with my seven, and I don’t know...I just didn’t feel like asking another person.

Then I slept on it, and figured:

1. FOMO: She was going to be my new sister-in-law… And I didn’t know what our lives were going to be like down the road. We might be thick as thieves in a year or two. I would hate to look back on the day and not have everybody involved that I want to be there.

2. Babysitting: here’s another actual responsible adult to help wrangle all of my 25-year-old friends into being responsible, so my sister, my matron of honor, would have actual help.

3. Cash money: she would help offset the costs for everyone for the shower and bachelorette.

The more the merrier right?

So the next day, naturally, I went to target. Retail therapy is a balm for the warring mind. I get up to the dollar section, and wouldn’t you know it’s wedding stuff. The first thing I see is a card that says “I can’t say I do without you!”...so I guess in reality, target made my decision for me. I bought the card and drove home to tell Kyle my decision.

I ended up calling Mrs. O to let her know. The first thing she said was “I hope it’s not because of what I said to you… “ and I wanted to be like “that’s literally what started this whole thing” but I said “no of course not! I was already thinking about it! the more the merrier!” Then she said “well don’t be upset if she says no, I think it’s nice that you’re asking her!” So then I’m like..oh word, I can’t wait to be rejected by my future sister-in-law! Let’s fucking do this 🙃

I didn’t even know what to write in the card because other than birthdays and Fourth of July parties we haven’t had much time to sit down and get to know each other. I wrote exactly what I felt: Lori we are going to be sisters, I’m going to be joining this family and I want to make sure that I have all the important ladies in my life by my side when I say I do. Will you do me the honor of being one of my bridesmaids?

I took the card with me to Yoncé and Kevin’s birthday bbq, which was the next weekend. It was a little awkward but I just sat down next to her, started discussing the wedding, and said “things are moving really quick but there was one more important thing I had to do before I start looking at bridesmaids dresses..” and handed her the card.

Again I remind you Lori can come off a little cold sometimes, and it’s fine because I totally understand not being close to someone. So I was prepared for whatever she was going to say… except for what she actually said.

She hugged me and was like “oh my god of course! Thank you so much for asking!! I can’t believe it! I could cry! I’m so excited!!” First off the hug, then the cry?? I was thinking she’s either laying it on THIQ or like..she’s actually happy! I’m pretty sure it was the latter because she told BJ and just looked happy and I was just like 😆😆😆😆

So now she’s texts me with emojis and it feels like a whole new level of “girl we’re friends now”. I guess the theme really is the more the merrier because I’m super excited to have all of these wonderful people up there with me, I love them all so much ❤️

So now the ball is in Yoncé’s court to find his eighth LOL. I’m pretty sure he’s going to ask his cousin whose girlfriend of four years just dumped him because she think she might be a lesbian… That’ll definitely help him take his mind off things.

TL;DR I ended up asking my other future sister-in-law to be in my wedding. I was worried that we weren’t close and I didn’t want to just because of my future mother-in-laws suggestion. I ended up making the decision for myself, she said yes, and now I’m super excited to see her up there with me!

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