#I’M SORRY I TOOK SONLONG TO WRITE THIS HANNA ANON

[if-music-be-the-food-of-love]

Behind the scenes of “I Want it All”

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11

This is based on an ask/suggestion I received for Sander’s birthday. I liked the idea so much I set it aside to work on separately later as a bts post. @ Hanna anon, it’s not exactly the same, but I hope you like it and see it! 💕💕💕 Thank you for the idea 🥰 

You can also read this story and any others you missed. I just added part 2 of the bts collection to Ao3, chapter 16. 

***

No Way!

As Hanna reached for the box of cereal on the shelf, she heard a giggle, followed by a deep chuckle and a high pitched squeal.

Her hand paused mid-air. She knew that giggle. She knew that chuckle. What—

She left her cart behind and raced up the aisle, only slowing down to make the turn and peer surreptitiously around the corner.

There!

She was right! It had been Sander and Robbe.

Robbe stood in the bread section, Sander crouched at his feet, clearly looking for something on the shelves. He said a quiet word to Robbe, who then shuffled sideways out of his way. At his shift, a little girl came into view. 

Oh wow. That…that must be…Amelia, who’d—God—be almost two by now.

She…was beautiful, cherubic in pink sparkles. She sat in a carrier on Robbe’s back, her chubby little legs hanging wildly at his waist, occasionally kicking his hips and thighs with her feet. Her hair was golden blonde and fluffed about her head like a feathery halo, little ringlets just beginning to form at the base of her neck even though the top was still quite short. She was enchanting.

After another kick, Robbe grabbed her legs and tickled her calves, eliciting a peel of shrill laughter. He grinned over his shoulder and said something unintelligible to her, and she responded with a squealed string of words that ended in a loud “Daddy.” He laughed and tickled her again, which of course resulted in another giggle.

Hanna was endeared by the spectacle. Her daughter— No. Amelia. Amelia was obviously happy and well cared for. Granted, she hadn’t expected any less from Sander…or Robbe for that matter. They were both good people. Sander probably spoiled her rotten, and Robbe, as her godfather, could only be a willing accomplice. She was a lucky girl.

Hanna did, however, find it surprising that Amelia was on Robbe’s back instead of Sander’s. Even more, he looked so natural carrying her and teasing her, and the way Amelia’s fingers curled into his hair and pressed against his cheek indicated a level of familiarity that surprised her. She’d been wrong about him. Robbe had obviously taken his official duties seriously, plunging himself into child-rearing instead of setting off to live carefree and unencumbered like she thought he would.

Sander had been right. He wasn’t raising her alone. The picture perfect family they made proved that.

Then Sander stood, coming into full view for the first time, and he…looked good. No, he looked radiant, aglow with happiness. His dark hair was windswept, and his skin was sun kissed a warm bronze; but it was his eyes that caught her attention. They shone with an inner light. Hanna’s heart lurched briefly, wistful for what could have been if he had chosen her.

But at the same time, she felt no regret, no bitterness. As beautiful as he was and as tempting as this domestic tableau might seem, it wasn’t what she wanted. They were both better off where they were. She was truly happy for him, and she was selfishly glad that she’d been able to steal this moment to watch them from a distance, to check up on them and feed her curiosity without the awkwardness of speaking to them. That was…unconscionable.

Had she thought it possible that she might run into them when she came home for the summer? Yes, of course. She’d mentally prepared herself to see her ex and their…his daughter, but she hadn’t thought it likely. Antwerp was big enough, and Sander’s flat wasn’t anywhere near her parents’ place, nor was it near this grocery store. What on earth were they doing here, laughing and shopping so far from home? Maybe Robbe had moved nearby? That was possible. Or, did Carlos live near here? It didn’t matter. Here they were.

At that moment Sander placed a hand on Robbe’s stomach and reached for a package of cookies on the other side of the aisle. Before he could put it in the basket, Robbe snatched it out of his hands and put it back, shaking his head.

Sander pouted, looking like the absolutely besotted doofus he was for that boy, but then, rolling his eyes, Robbe took a few extra steps and pulled a larger box of the same cookies off the shelf. 

Of course it had worked on Robbe! Hanna groaned internally. They’d always been so ridiculous.

Sander’s reaction was instantaneous. “Ugh, you—” his eyes cut to Amelia, and dropping his voice too low for Hanna to hear, he finished the sentence with something that made Robbe giggle.

Robbe tossed him the cookies, and after dropping them into the basket, Sander whirled on Robbe, fisting his shirt and tugging him into a hug with the stupidest “I’m madly in love with you” smile on his face.

This time Hanna had to roll her eyes. Sander never could hide his feelings…or keep his hands off of Robbe. Some things never changed.

Robbe hugged him back, his face disappearing into Sander’s neck for a moment, and Amelia patted his head, her legs swinging wildly again. Sander’s hand stilled her kicking foot, and she shouted a dismayed, “Dada!” He leaned over Robbe’s shoulder to kiss her cheek, and then stepping back, he took Robbe’s hand and led them back to the basket. They moved down the aisle holding hands, chatting quietly with one another, all smiles.

Now that was different. Sander and Robbe didn’t hold hands, not like that, all coupley and cute. They’d always hugged and touched excessively, but hand holding…not so much. Some things apparently had changed.

As they reached the end of the aisle, Hanna’s eyes nearly flew out of her head. Robbe’s hand moved to Sander’s far hip, and hugging him in, he pressed a kiss to Sander’s neck. Flushing pink and visibly melting, Sander lifted his left hand to Robbe’s face and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. Robbe followed it with a turn of his head to leave a kiss on Sander’s palm, which brought Hanna’s attention to Sander’s new tattoo…on his ring finger!

Sander gave Robbe a dopey, adoring smile, and then taking his hand once again, they left, disappearing from view as they turned the corner.

They were—

Holy shit.

Sander and Robbe were together, and if his new tattoo was any indication, they might even be married!

What the fuck had happened?

Last time she’d seen them, Sander had been hiding from his feelings, and Robbe had been oblivious to all of it, happily dating another man and living his best platonic soulmate life. It would have been comical if she hadn’t been wrapped up in it (and yet the petty part of her had still found it somewhat satisfyingly tragic).

She’d known Robbe for over two years. Not once had he returned Sander’s longing glances. Not once had he ever truly seen Sander. She’d been so sure it was unrequited. As the jealous other woman, or at least contender for Sander’s affection, she would know, right?

What had changed?

Obviously something had happened because Robbe was just as disgustingly in love now. It was obvious. If she hadn’t been initially distracted by Amelia and Sander, she would have seen it right away. Still, the concept was so foreign to her she thought she could be forgiven for not noticing it. 

They’d made the sweetest picture, standing there at the end of the aisle, staring adoringly into one another’s eyes, all gooey and touchy-feely.  

Two years ago this development would have made her angry and filled her with jealousy, but now it didn’t matter. She was happy for him…for them, all three of them.

She’d never forgotten her parting words to Sander—using Robbe’s indifference as a weapon. She’d felt so guilty about it. It hadn’t been fair, and while it had been true (as far as she knew at the time), it had been mean. She almost wanted to apologize to him, but…she also didn’t want to talk to him.

This was better. Seeing them like this and knowing everything was fine, that Sander and Amelia were better than fine, was exactly what she needed. She could now close the door on that chapter of her life with no worries or regrets. She could move on. 

More than anything, though, she was grateful to have gotten a peek at Amelia, to hear her laughter. Hanna would be lying if she said she never thought about her. She thought about her all the time but in an abstract way with curiosity, not longing. She wondered and imagined, and now she had a face to add to her musings. 

She also had to admit it felt good to have confirmation that she’d made the right choice. Amelia was beautiful. She was happy. She was loved. She had everything she needed. She was far better off here with them than she would have been with Hanna under any circumstances. 

No, Hanna had no regrets. As she strode back to her cart, she wished them well with her whole heart, but just in case, she hid in the frozen section at the back of the store for a few minutes to make sure they didn’t run into one another in the check out lane.

#wtfock #wtfam #sobbe #behind the scenes of iwia #1.5k #i want it all #gonna post the collection to Ao3 now #this should be the last one #I’M SORRY I TOOK SONLONG TO WRITE THIS HANNA ANON