#I'LL ALWAYS BE BITTER THE LONGER I GO WITHOUT HEARING MYSELF ON SCREEN

[fluent-in-lesbianism]

I really appreciate that you've talked more than once about growing up with a stutter. If you feel comfortable, would you share anything you wish people would know when they talk to people who stutter? I mean, the obvious "don't be a dick" and "let the other person finish their sentence" seem to apply (I hope!!), but is there anything else people should know or do which maybe they don't? Thanks and hope you and your mom are doing well ❤️️

I’m happy to share, but your “don’t be a dick” is the best tl;dr

So obviously, everyone with a stutter is different and has their own process and their own rules to follow when speaking with them. These are just a few of mine:

1) You can finish my word/sentence only if I give you permission. I won’t though, bc I hate it when people do that. Even friends and family. I know people do it bc they think they’re helping me, but I just interpret it as a sign of impatience. The only time I allow it is if I’m really tired and I don’t have the mental energy to maintain fluency anymore. In that case, I’ll usually just wave my hand at you mid-word/sentence and let you say whatever you want (even if it wasn’t what I meant at all).

2) Piggybacking off that: Stutters are physically and mentally draining. I can’t even fully explain everything it takes for me to talk to somebody, especially for long periods of time. By the time I’m done, I’m exhausted bc I literally spend the whole time planning out everything I’m gonna say in my head and how I’m gonna say it. Fluent people just expect a certain pacing to their conversations that I can’t maintain as easily as they can and tryna keep up with that pace is tiresome. So if you see me getting tired or taking longer to respond to you, it’s not you. My brain is just overwhelmed.

3) With that being said, I don’t care if it takes me 5 whole minutes to say one word, DO NOT:

  A) tap your foot   B) look at your watch/at a clock   C) sigh really loud   D) make that pinched :\ face   E) interrupt me   F) look away, like you’d rather be anywhere else   G) finish my word/sentence (without my permission)   H) or any combination of those

People think they’re being subtle, but I know the exact second someone’s losing interest in what I’m saying, and nothing shuts me down quicker than seeing someone mentally checking out of the conversation just bc I’m struggling to maintain fluency.

4) I use a lot of “filler words” (um, uh, hm, ah, like, etc.) because they get me out of stutters quickly. I know how I sound, but if you want fluency, then you’re gonna have to suck it up and listen to me say “uh” for the thousandth time.

5) Idk if I should be revealing this bc I’m kinda afraid to get called out on it if I use this method with y’all lmao, but I pretend I don’t know a word/phrase just so I can get out of saying it. All the time.

Like, if I already know I can’t say something without stuttering and I don’t have a replacement word/phrase for it, then I’ll just be like, “uh, you know that, uh. what’s it called? sweeper thingy you get dirt up with?” “broom?” “yes! that. you got one? I spilled my will to live…”

6) I also repeat words and claim it’s “for emphasis”, but really it’s just bc I’m about to stutter on the word after it and saying the previous word again usually gets me out of a stutter (“that’s really, really strong tea”). It’s not. I just struggle with st- words and words ending in -ly are easy transition sounds for me.

7) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HERSELF, STOP 👏INVITING 👏ME 👏TO PLAY 👏TIMED 👏GAMES 👏If a game involves me having to verbalize a thought before a timer goes off to win, I will throw fucking hands! And, yes. I’m looking at you Pictionary, you piece oF SHIT (ง'̀-‘́)ง

8) I have a very strained relationship with fast food drive-thrus. Have I had a breakdown in a Full Moon drive-thru bc I couldn’t order my food clearly enough which led the employee to get pissed and ask why I was “wasting her time”? Maybe... That’s why I always walk in to order unless I already know exactly what I’m ordering. I also have to order it in the same exact way or I’ll stutter and the employee won’t understand me.

9) Speaking of strained relationships, phones. Fuck those, too! If I hear one more person say “You’re breaking up” while I’m tryna talk to them, I’m gonna scream. People hang up on me all the time bc they think the connection’s bad or the phone cut out. Even after I explain that I just have a stutter, they usually have no idea what that means. The more extreme people think I’m playing a joke on them so they get angry and start yelling or cussing at me before eventually hanging up. So using a phone is extremely difficult and has led to many an anxiety attack. I avoid them altogether unless I’m talking to someone who already knows to expect long pauses and skips.

10) And I know I’ve said this before over the years, but I’m gon’ say it again: I want more positive stutter representation in media.

I’m talking (lmao *finger guns*) verbal representation of a heavy stutter. Not a stutter on a word or two periodically with no obvious tics or one sentence in a flashback to explain why she doesn’t speak anymore (looking at you, OitNB). The split second rep stuff is okay, but let’s be honest, the vast majority of fluent people need to be exposed to heavier stutters. They need to see what a heavy stutter looks like, physical tics included. Otherwise, they’re not gonna know shit when they meet someone with a heavy stutter bc they’ve never been exposed to it. And it ain’t even their fault, but people like me suffer for it. If there were more true-to-life depictions of people with stutters on mainstream media, then it would go a long way in de-stigmatizing us and teaching people how to properly interact with us.

And maybe just because I want to see that aspect of myself on screen. I mean, I got wlws coming out my woolawoo atm, but ain’t none of them sound like me. And I’m tired of it. Damn it.

#Anonymous #okay that last one is more of a rant/vent than anything #BUT I'M STILL BITTER OKAY #I'LL ALWAYS BE BITTER THE LONGER I GO WITHOUT HEARING MYSELF ON SCREEN

[ahloveisboo]

game on (m)

pairing: gamer!jeon wonwoo x fem!reader (soonyoung makes an appearance)

genre: smut (18+), established relationship, cock warming but make it soft, comfort sex, unprotected sex, swearing, implied auditory voyeurism if that is A Thing but it doesn’t have to be if you’re not into that.

wc: 2.1k

summary: it’s been a shitty day and all you want to do is be close to wonwoo.

a/n: i literally finished writing this last night and this morning i stumbled onto THIS. which i had COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN ABOUT and i want you to know that is exactly how i pictured him and i’m in l*ve with him and i would give him my left arm if he ever needed it

"I can't fucking do this anymore." 

You puff the hair out of your eyes as your bag clatters to the floor, your jacket aggressively thrown onto a chair even though you and Wonwoo had agreed to not let clothes linger around the house. 

The love of your life is lounging on the sofa—clad in a simple t-shirt and shorts, a headset on top of his unkempt hair, and a PlayStation controller in his hand. There are a few empty cans of soda littered around the furniture, and a scented candle burning on the coffee table to his right.

"Wonwoo," you whine, a dramatic pout etched on your lips. You're irritated, to say the least, and it weighs down on your limbs as you shuffle closer to the sofa. With each step though, your annoyance miraculously fades, and the final remnants of any unease melt away when your lover reaches a hand out to you, beckoning you closer. 

"Oh hey, sweet cheeks," he greets you, his eyebrows shooting up in pleasant surprise. "I didn't expect you home so early."

You know you should've given him a heads-up. "I took the afternoon off," you explain as you come up to straddle his lap, cupping both cheeks with your palms before planting a firm kiss on his lips. It crooks the glasses on top of his nose a little, but he doesn't seem to mind. You feel the corners of his mouth perk up, and you can't help but follow suit. Leaning back a little, you brush his choppy fringe out of his face, letting your hand rest at the nape of his neck. "I couldn't handle one more second of old men assuming they can do my job better than me." 

"Dude, stop feeling up your girlfriend, I need cover," a voice comes over the mic, blaring straight into his headphones. Wonwoo clicks his tongue. 

"If your point was to sound bitter about having to nut into your own fist every night, you succeeded," Wonwoo retorts before easily picking off an enemy right behind on-screen Soonyoung. You make yourself smaller, so he gets a full view of the tv. "You're welcome," he adds, and Soonyoung's laughter can be heard coming from the other side of the voice chat. 

"Touché." 

"You're so cool," you murmur against the skin of his collarbones, neatly settling further onto his lap. "And such a nerd. But like, the hot kind." At this, he barks out a laugh; the sound like music to your ears. 

It takes a little squirming and trying to make yourself fit into his embrace without interrupting the game too much, and you sigh in content when you find the perfect position. Wonwoo's hips buck up on instinct as you move around, and he shoots you an apologetic smile when you brush your lips against his jaw in response.

"It was just…. A really shitty day, you know," you say in tiny, the words barely a whisper as you lazily rock against him. Wonwoo instantly picks up the hint, already hardening underneath you. 

He pushes his mic up, muting it in one swift motion so Soonyoung doesn't overhear. “Do you want to fuck?”

You nuzzle into his neck, lazily nipping at the skin. “I just want to feel you, I think.”

Wonwoo manages a soft chuckle and presses a kiss to your forehead. "Give me a second to end the game." 

"It's okay," you say, as his hand moves to unmute his mic. "You can continue playing if you want." 

The look he gives you in response is almost comical. "I'll sit still, I promise." You give him a quick peck on the lips, and Wonwoo's reluctance dissolves in an instant. 

Shifting uncomfortably, you take off your jeans as Wonwoo pulls down his shorts, cock visibly strained against his briefs now. He curtly speaks into his mic, taking note of something Soonyoung's character just did on-screen behind you. 

A few seconds pass before you move, taking in all of Wonwoo before you first. He's always been handsome—his sharp features turning more than a few heads. He's bulked up since you first got together (which made him even sexier if that was possible), with his shoulders now broader and his arms toned to perfection, but your favourite part of him has always been his eyes. There's something inherently gentle about them; a warm brown colour that shines whenever he laughs, or darkens whenever he glances up at you from between your legs. 

Something clenches in your chest when Wonwoo turns to meet your gaze, a smile on his lips. Something similar happens in your gut when he reaches out to touch you over your panties. The gesture isn't demanding or lustful, and you sigh into the feeling. 

Wonwoo slips past your folds, two fingers checking if you're slick enough to take him without extra help. The corner of his mouth tugs into a smirk, but he swallows the words on the tip of his tongue, knowing they don't fit the mood you're after.

As soon as he fills you up, your form slacks against his chest. It's comforting in having him this close, being this intimate with the man that makes your heart burst in the best way possible. Your arms snake around his waist, your cheek now resting against his shoulder. 

"Can you move forward just a tiny bit so I can koala-wrap myself around you?" you mumble against the fabric of his shirt, and there's a sharp intake of breath from him when he lifts his hips to comply, his cock moving inside you. 

Soonyoung mistakes it for a disappointed reaction to his failed offence, and you can hear his voice through the headphones over Wonwoo's ears. Wonwoo is quick to reply, his low tone reverberating through his chest and vibrating against your cheek. 

Another thing you love about him, that voice of his. You could listen to him talk for hours. Which you hope he does, and is the reason you told him to keep playing in the first place. 

There's no sound but the dull clicking of Wonwoo's controller and machine-gun fire coming from his headphones for a while, and you can feel your body begin to relax—all the tension previously stored between your shoulder blades now slipping off you, like raindrops sliding down a window. 

Wonwoo's a decent size; not too big to sting when he first fucks you, but big enough to always make you feel so full, so satisfied. It's something you're not afraid to reiterate every so often, which he appreciates in the right context (you once let it slip at movie night when you were beyond horny, and Wonwoo had to excuse himself ten minutes later because he had no idea your mouth could be so foul, and he didn't want his friends to see the obvious problem in his pants). 

He lasts longer than you thought he would—too caught up in his game to notice how every little move he makes in reaction to whatever is unfolding on screen is starting to affect you. It's subtle, the way he moves inside you, but the thrusts are sharp and clean as he moves the controller to one side and back, his body jolting forward when Soonyoung fails to cover him and his screen flashes red. It isn't until you clench around him, that he stills. 

As your fingers tangle into his hair at the base of his neck, you tilt your head, waiting for a quiet moment to lift his headphones just enough to tell him, "Okay, now I want to fuck." 

To accentuate the words, you gently lift your hips, sinking back down just as slowly, only to repeat the action once more. Wonwoo groans in response, his hand gripping your waist to stop you, and you lean back to watch his face for any signs that he might not want this. You interpret his actions as rejecting your advances, but soon he's pushing up your t-shirt to grope at your breasts, and you moan when he thumbs over one of your sensitive nubs. 

"I heard that," Soonyoung's voice comes over the headset, and you're already too worked up to care. Wonwoo smiles when you roll your hips, grinding onto his cock in slow motions. He licks his lips, gaze trained on yours as he drops the controller onto the floor. 

"Goodbye, Soonyoung," he says into the mic before taking off the headset, not even bothering to mute it. 

You half expect him to be rough. To pin you down on the sofa and rail you into oblivion. Instead, he kisses you. The kind of kiss that makes your head spin—slow and hot, his tongue lapping against yours languidly. There are little, sweet pecks in between. One on your nose, one on your cheek, one on your eyelids, and you giggle into the kiss when he pulls you back in for what seems the nth time. His cock is still buried inside of you, snug and warm, unmoving, until you buck your hips to meet his and he groans. 

“Quit stalling, Jeon,” you sigh into his mouth. Your teeth graze along his lower lip before stopping at the corner of his mouth, kissing the edge of his smile. “If you don’t touch me this instant, I’m going to spontaneously combust.”

He glances between you, to where your bodies meet, and gently lifts his hips to move out of you. “I bet I could make you cum untouched right now,” he says, tentatively swiping a finger between your folds again. You quiver in his arms, already too sensitive from having him inside you for so long, and you hate how he’s probably right. 

“Maybe so, but where’s the fun in that?”

“I get to use my dirty talk voice,” he offers, already lowering his tone to make a point. “Tell you all the things I would do if I were to touch you.” You clench around nothing, suddenly feeling too empty to your liking. “You can blow me after.”  

Every nerve in your body is on edge, skin crawling in anticipation, and you desperately want to say no. But Wonwoo’s eyes are sparkling as he hovers over you, and god, he’s so fucking hot. At this point, you are positively soaked, pussy throbbing and aching for his touch, anything he’d be willing to offer, and he’s still smiling at you.

“Fuck me now and I’ll still blow you after.” 

Wonwoo pouts, but instinctively lowers himself to kiss you when you hook your ankles behind his back, pulling him closer to you again. When he pushes back in, you’re scared you won’t last long. You tell him as much, and he shakes his head in feigned disbelief. “Quelle surprise,” he mocks, and he jerks his pelvis forward, easily bottoming out before pulling back out, repeating to build up a steady rhythm. It’s agonisingly slow, his cock curving just the right way to hit the spot over and over again, and your breath hitches with every thrust. “Want me to go faster?” he asks, tongue lapping at the abused skin right below your collarbone, where his mouth just successfully marked you as his. You shake your head no, unable to speak.

As tension builds in your abdomen, your eyes fall shut, your eyebrows knit together, and your lips shape into a silent O. Wonwoo feels his heart rate increase when your breath starts to shudder with every exhale. He can tell you’re trying to hold back your moans and he really wishes you wouldn't. “Use your words, baby,” he says, his voice cracking as he pushes into you again. “Tell me what you want.”

“I want- hnnng, fuck,” you manage, right when his thumb presses down on your clit, and your back arches off the sofa. “Keep going. I’mhhmmmmm- almost there.”

A few more trusts have you toppling over the edge, your orgasm washing over you like a tsunami. Wonwoo presses his lips to yours, swallowing the moans that finally push their way out of your throat. Your thighs shake as he ploughs into you a few more times, finally picking up speed to chase his own climax. 

It's not long until Wonwoo half collapses on top of you, chest to chest, and he chuckles as both of you struggle to catch your breath.

"Still want me to suck you off?" you ask, half in jest, but you did promise. 

He pushes a stray lock of hair from your sweaty forehead, his hand stopping to rest against your cheek. "Maybe later." You beam at him and suddenly the room falls quiet, now that your breathing has levelled out. There's a faint rattle of gunfire coming from behind the sofa, and you exchange glances as something dawns on you both.

"Did you mute your—" 

“Oh shit, Soonyoung—“

#caratwritersclub #jeon wonwoo #wonwoo smut #wonwoo fanfic #wonwoo scenario #seventeen wonwoo #seventeen smut #seventeen fanfic #seventeen scenario #wonwoo x reader #i had to get this one out of my system thanks #the more i read it the more i doubt it so i'm just going to. PRESS POST.