#I'm conflicted cause its absolutely in terrible condition BUT i really want to move man

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#ok SO we went to see the apartment today and it's in a worse condition than i thought it was #like ceiling crumbling and leaks everywhere worse #my mum immediately said she doesn't want me living there which i get there's a lot to fix the previous tenant tore the place down #I'm conflicted cause its absolutely in terrible condition BUT i really want to move man #the electricity is wrecked like there's so much work to be done and even the neighbourhood is kind of a mess #which makes sense since the city is tearing down buildings atm and no sane person would choose to live there? idk #the mail is literally in a pile by the door you gotta sort it and find yours and the trash is overflowing #someone hangs their laundry by the trash cans?? #its just not what i saw a few months ago #I'm so disappointed and i feel like if i won't move there I'll be disappointing my friends and my dad #idk what to do i asked them for another day to think about it ugh #i already bought fucking everything im such an idiot for that #and i really don't wanna deal with landlords #but idk if I'll feel safe there even like it looks like a war zone but idk i feel like my mums reaction really affected me #and i do trust her judgement and tbh its not worth the rent i would be paying my parents #like i could probably find a much nicer place for the same rent #so my head is in shambles im trying to stay in a good headspace and not get sucked in to the disappointment shit #i dont wanna deal with mold and electricity shit but i also dont wanna deal with landlords so #plus my friend was thinking about moving in too and I'm sure if she saw the place she wouldn't want to #but i still feel like I'll be disappointing her too #and my other friend lives a block away we were excited to be neighbours yk #ill figue it out #just need some time to think #wwyd? #bigger apartment in a shit location and conditioning but no landlord or smaller apartment but in better location and condition #i really wanted the extra space tbh #need to have a think #personal