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There’s a specific anger that comes with seeing how other people interact with their families and realizing how fucked up yours is. Like my girlfriends parents are constantly helping us with simple things and I am always scared that they’re sick of it and secretly hate us. But it turns out, families usually do things for each other because they actually want to. Who would’ve thought?

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I just feel like a lot of Christians don’t realize that non Christians don’t see their book as the one source of ultimate truth and that referencing it while trying to proselytize isn’t all that effective lol

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aaah some one actually responded lol thank you so much for asking!!

my favorite Holiday is Halloween just because its the one day of the year where my aesthetic is considered normal and i don’t get called weird lol 

and YES I HAD AND STILL HAVE A GREEK AND NORSE MYTHOLOGY PHASE and i have like books upon books about them and read and watch everything about them lol

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i still takleh move on dengan ending scarlet heart lol. i rasa kejam sangat ending dia how at the end EVERYONE. the astronomer, the general, baek ah, hae soo semua tinggalkan king so. i rasa unfair sebab king so dealt with so much things in life, and remained orang baik, but yet everyone left him at the end. I totally get it though hae soo tinggalkan dia if i were her pun i pergi. tapi the others???????? and then ending dia king so mereputla sampai mampos sensorang dalam istana with the wives he never loved, a child he never cared for. pastu????? apa guna kau duduk atas takhta tu pun kalau at the end u tak happy???? baik jangan claim the throne and lari jauh2 dengan hae soo!! i guess kalau u nak kuasa u kena taruhkan something. sometimes benda u paling sayang. ending dia too much for me. walaupun fictional aku emo nak mampus??????? WHERES THE justice

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I watched 6 Underground when the big banner came up on Netflix. I saw Ryan Reynold’s face, I watched the movie. I regretted so much for not checking out the details section. It was a Michael Bay’s movie. I ended up hating it. I can appreciate that it is a high budget film where you got a lot of cool shoots, especially the boat scenes, it must have taken a lot of thoughts and work to coordinate. It just wasn’t my thing.

Ryan Reynold I trust you so much that I got conned into watching a Michael Bay movie.

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No existe gente fea; existe gente que nació con la suerte de encajar dentro de los estereotipos de belleza, y gente que no. Así como también existen distintos gustos.

¿Por qué existe gente que se cree con el derecho de poder apuntar con el dedo y decidir qué es lo lindo y qué es lo feo?, ¿qué es perfecto y qué no?

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We haven’t spoke to each other since last night. I am so sick of arguing over wedding plans. I asked for advice from internet strangers and read some articles about going through this and everything seems positive. Someone told me that arguing during wedding planing teaches couples how to better communicate in marriage. I appreciate the positivity, but it is incredibly hard for me to imagine an outcome suitable for both of us.

To catch you all up to speed, the other night, I was on the phone with my mom. My aunt wanted us to get together (either virtually or in person) to discuss wedding plans and wanted to know if my mom wanted to be involved. Jordan was present while I was on the phone and immediately looked upset. After my mom agreed to be there for moral support, I ended the call and asked Jordan what was wrong. He told me that he felt like I was planning things behind his back. I haven’t planned anything and he was free to join this planning session.

Apparently he has had a change of heart and wants to elope in October. But only just now told me this. Truly, I don’t want to elope. I have asked him many times in our relationship to just go and elope and he always said no. Now he wants to. I don’t, that rejection hurt me and I don’t think he took me seriously.

Anyway, since we can’t compromise, I think we’re eloping anyway. Somehow, once again, I am the only one doing any research. I applied for a marriage license and set an appointment for us to pick it up (which is tomorrow). I have looked into packages, but haven’t brought any of them up because they’re almost the cost of what I thought our wedding plans were, and I think it is the cost of a wedding that is deterring him.

If he wants to elope so bad, then why am I the only one planning anything? This isn’t even what I want.

He is also mad that I vented to strangers on the internet and says I talk about my feelings to everyone else but him. But the jokes on him because almost everything I have written is verbatim to what I have said to him.

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Desde febrero del 2020, cuando comenzó la cuenta regresiva para volver a la vida que dejé pausada, tenía en mente realizar una serie de dibujos y detalles amateurs fotográficos en los que yo pudiera desde mi sentimiento, desde el diagnóstico esquizo afectivo, desde la emoción, hablar de lo que significa para mí “continuar” después de “pausar” mi vida y poner tantas cartas sobre la mesa.

Con el tiempo, con la pandemia, ese mes se pospuso por un tiempo que aún no es definible, pero si creo que era cuenta regresiva para vivir todo lo que venía conmigo: los proyectos artísticos, las amistades nuevas, las luchas sociales y conjuntas, la ternura llevada a un nivel aparte, lidiar con mis ideas románticas, y cortarme los lazos con un montón de cosas.

Ahorita sé que estoy lista para documentarme a mí misma esta transición, este momento en el que tengo tanto por un lado, y por otro lado, sigo quebrandome los muros para poder alcanzar otro tanto.

Me despido de mucho, porque despedirse y acomodar no es algo que en un año sea posible alcanzar.

Así que, estoy iniciando a través de ideas mías mi diario de transición, de despedida y de bienvenida. Me someto a “el aire de noviembre” con todo lo que hasta ahorita, he hecho conmigo misma.

Mis casas abandonadas, la pintura textil, los estudios y repados al surrealismo y otros, la renuncia a las ideas, la soledad, la comunidad, los momentos en los cuáles parece que todo sí tiene sentido y parecen una luz en el camino de algo que se busca alcanzar, una vida que descifro tener.

Todo lo haré en físico y en la comodidad de mi Tumblr de hace 10 años, en la comodidad del anonimato social y virtual, sólo por el placer de verlo virtual y no sólo en físico para mi misma.

Etiquetaré mis trabajos con el #CLARAISABEL

Porque pense en un sin fin de nombres, pero finalmente soy yo la que está aquí creciendo y documentando a través de eso.

Y ya, sociedad anónima de tumblr.

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