THEE FACT THAT SEONGWHA PUT OF ALL THR 7 BILLION PEOPLE IN THE WORLD
i think i am genderfluid (๑˃ ֊ ˂).
!I have my adhd diagnosis!!! I’m so happy!! And I already got medication which I will start today!!!! :D
Oh my god, they were crewmates…
date on the beach and a lot of white wine
In Norwegian we have a saying that goes: «det er viktig å føle at du lever» which translates directly to its important to feel that you are alive. We say that about situations that made your heart race. good, but mostly bad situations.
I had a moment like that this morning when a snow plower came at me full speed on a fenced in piece of pavement.
GUYS GUYS GUYS
I FUCKIN PR’D MY MILE
I PR’D IT
I’M SO PUMPED
(ok so admittedly the fastest I’ve ever run a mile is 8:06 and that was in high school during volleyball tryouts, so, 7 years ago. BUT THAT DOESN’T COUNT THIS TIME AROUND SO THIS IS MY NEW PR AND IT’S ONLY A MINUTE AWAY ANYWAY)
0.25 mile warm-up walk @ 3.0 speed and 1.0 incline
9:06 minute mile (HECK YEAH BAYBIEEEEEE) @ 1.0 incline and 6.6 speed
Squats: 10/25, 10/110, 10/110
Bench Press: 10/25, 10/65, 10/65
Leg Extensions: 12/45
Leg Curls: 12/55
Calf Raises: 12/165, 12/165
Machine Flyes: 12/40
Pushdowns: 12/10, 6/40, 6/35
Russian Twists: 100
Now I’m stretching and my muscles are SO TIGHT
BUT I FEEL SO GOOD
GET OUTTA TOWN DODDOXJAONXSONXSO I’M CRY-LAUGHING WHO SENT THIS ONE????
trichotillomania is absolutely my least favorite mental illness
I think, therefore I am 😘😘
I can’t wait till I can go to the hairdressers because I’m dying my hair rainbow finally for the first time. I’ve considered it for a decade and it’s so expensive and awful for upkeep but it’s a hair style I’ve wanted for fucking forever and also Luka with LOVE it because he adores colours and I wear black all of the time these days but if my hair is rainbow I just, I just hope it brings more smiles to his face. His nurse visited and he’s apparently hit all milestones of not MORE than expected and I’m so exceptionally proud of him, and the times I feel down about if I’m a good parent are slightly reassured when this sort of thing is said and it makes me glad that we are doing well being first timers and not having family really for help in tips and tricks and whatnot that others could’ve had due to covid keeping us away from one another. He’s beginning to try to walk as well and he almost a whole year old! I can’t believe it. I truly can’t. Sometimes I just say, “I wonder what he’s going to be like” once he’s a little older and starts coming into who he will be as a person but I just hope that I can guide him with having good morals and being kind and as happy with living in this world as I possibly can, and give him things I didn’t have due to not having a father. Well, he’s got two so, twice as many as I did! 😂 I’ve been freaking out with my mind state and confusion about my gender and what he should call me but now my mind is clear again on that front I am reassured much better about being called dad for sure now, as that was leaving me in a horrible feeling position for almost a year now, and I didn’t want him to call me just by my name if that makes sense even if that works perfectly for some people. God, I’m so relieved I reached out and came out, and I’m in a state of communicating again as it comes in leaps and bounds and this isolation has caused me to go through so many things and deeply relive hard parts of my life but a lot more clearly as I haven’t had many people around me for a long time and it’s both been awful but helpful especially on the aspect of getting to know myself again after some deeply troubling years since I reached my teenage years. I’m glad I’m in a better mindset and understanding why I do the things I do, understanding even if it takes a while why I feel the things I feel because connecting to what is irking me takes a long time sometimes or figuring out why something is affecting me a certain way when it wouldn’t others, and coming to assert that it’s not my fault or bad but I can try and work with it and do something about it rather than flailing and no getting anywhere and it just getting worse. It doesn’t help that I’ve been on the wrong medication for such a long time due to worrying about bringing it up with professionals and just sucking it up and actually making efforts to work through so many different options is helping but there’s so many I have a bad reaction to in different ways it’s so long and complicated and takes a lot of energy. What I’m on now is probably the best I’ve had but is working terribly for my insomnia so I’ll have to figure out what’s next on that front. But yeah, but breaths, big plans, hopeful future, I’ve gotten through a lot and I can keep going on despite my brain being the way it is and I will try my hardest.
I was reading a book earlier today, and it made the classic error of conflating sexual intimacy with love and deep affection. I found myself hurt. I have fought so hard and long to convince myself that being Ace is natural, it is normal. That being Aromatic does not mean that I am merely afraid and dooming myself to a lifetime of loneliness and solitude. Reading words that denied my experience from the pen of someone who I expected to understand the complications of these dynamics felt like a rejection of my humanity. And it stung.
So, to any fellow aces and aros out their in the void tonight… Hi. I care about you. You are meaningful, and important. Whatever relationships you choose in whatever form they take are real, and valuable. Their intimacy is not defined by their physicality.
It can be hard for people who experience desire differently to recognize the legitimacy – the genuineness – of our feelings. Sometimes they project their own understandings (or misunderstandings) onto us, and decide that we are repressed, or stifled, or otherwise doing something wrong.
You are not wrong. I am not wrong. Our love is real and deep.
Like not to have a superiority complex about being happy whem people use their clout to promote charities (despite my complicated feeling surrounding the work that gave them said clout) BUT
Can’t wait to be with Jackie this weekend😊
wish she could stay over all the time tho
Hope of a full night of sleep, shattered. Somehow managed to rip open two more sores in my sleep. Am now bandaged and have given myself a bowl of ice cream, but oh do I long for skin that doesn’t hate itself. Body, skin is our friend. It is. I promise.
Dealing with your own mental issues while dealing with someone else’s at the time time, however temporarily, is f***ing exhausting.
To be clear, it wasnt their fault. Med issues.
12. Who told you they loved you last?
My partner. She’s somehow managed this entire lockdown without trying to kill me once. I think that must qualify her for sainthood.
28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
I’d set up an application system which includes an essay of at least 3000 words, detailing in what ways you’ve been lucky in your life circumstances. Then you have to provide a list of verifiable examples of how you’ve used your own luck for the good of others.
(If anyone grumbles about having to do this, it’s an instant fail.)
32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!
I’d use my super powers to get my guinea pigs safely into New Zealand without putting them through quarantine. Then just live there, safe and happy. I wish I could say that I’d travel time and space, having adventures and saving people, but honestly, a peaceful life would be enough of an adventure for me 💜