#I'm kinda proud that I can't eat anymore but that's kinda cringe idk

[no-one-hears-me]

really thinking about how my only options are to continue starving and stay skinny or eat but gain weight. I can never be normal

#ed tw #today I saw a video of someone showing what her friend eats #and it was a whole pizza and then pasta and whatever #how are some people capable of doing that #realistically some of it is my fault bc I've slowed my metabolism by restricting too hard #and the only way to fix it is to eat more BUT that will cause weight gain #and yeah I can lose it but I'd rather not gain any in the first place #also I'm genuinely not able to eat that much anymore #today I ate a fairly small amount of food and my stomach starting getting uncomfortable halfway through #even though that was the only thing I had in awhile. idk #I'm kinda proud that I can't eat anymore but that's kinda cringe idk #anyways. I really just wish I could eat normal amounts of food but still have a really low weight #I don't want a healthy weight tbh so yeah it makes sense that I can't eat healthy portions #still sucks tho #ALSO it sucks that alcohol has calories but tbf I don't need to drink much if I haven't eaten anyways #and my tolerance has never been high actually bc I don't drink that much #Sera