#IM NOT LEACIVING TUMBLR by the way i just mean i would like to not overshare or impulse post my every thought or turn to here to spew my

[pathologising]

i want to reinvent myself tbh...the move to nyc is literally going to be a new era...

#like i want to be . new #because on here i think ive overshared so much of my life because i did not have a true family to spend many of my moments with #because of the abuse so i am thankful for the many years on here where i learned what friendship meant and i am learning what it means to #love and be loved but i must reinvent i must evolve into a new self #and i mean like growth and change takes time its not instant but the way i wore my heart on my sleeve because this was all i had #was a little. embarrassing to say the least #but such is life. baby steps and tumbles and embarrassing 3am vent posts #IM NOT LEACIVING TUMBLR by the way i just mean i would like to not overshare or impulse post my every thought or turn to here to spew my #emotions i would like to learn self control i think is what iwould like and it is what im learning slowly #i aspire to be a certain way and i think its impossible to be one way #when youre a million different fractured identities because i dont ever want to be whole. i love myself as i am. wholeness #psychologically and clinically at least is something i do not need for healing i am content with these selves #but wanting to exist as several different things and holding these ideals and opinions and traits is difficult anyway #what im tryign to say is i forsee a new era.......and im moving towards that era and im excited for who #i am to become because life truly does begin for me in august like living as a person with agency not in fear it begins soon #and im excited anyway im rambling i want to live a life akin to what it feels like #to bask in the sun. or a fruit platter. or the twinkling of crystals in the sun #if that means anything to you #like thats what i want and i cant sit around and wait for it to happen i must make it for myself #i dont know...i dont know...im just. excited to be someone new and to build a life where i can live as me #like. angel live as angel ophelia. and distant from my abusers. finally