#Is the third headcanon in here blatantly self indulgent? Yes

[tswwwit]

hi ik you don’t really do prompt rn but could we have some soft billdip hcs/drabble (or as soft as these two can get)? i’m a sucker for the way you write them and your works have genuinely helped me through the past weeks. even if not thank you for your works bc mmmm idk how you do it it’s just *chefs kiss* (:

Have some soft headcanons, then!

The first time Bill and Dipper took a bath together wasn't.... really a bath, per se. They'd probably run afoul of some supernatural skunk thing and had to soak in tomato juice, bickering about whose fault it was. The times they actually bathed together usually ended in water fights. Dipper half-drowned a couple times; Bill plays rough.

They've since settled down a bit! These days, the times they sink into one of Bill's hedonistic baths in his pyramid are pretty relaxing times to chat and flirt with each other.

And if Dipper's very sick or injured, Bill might even pick him up and set him in a warm bath, while taking charge of all the scrubbing down and rinsing of the pitiful mortal. While grumbling a little, but still!

Bill can cook. The trouble is getting him to stop adding ingredients that 'make things interesting', or go more along demonic culinary tastes - But he could, theoretically, make a decent meal. This is an uphill battle, since Bill's convinced following human recipes is boring and dumb. Dipper may even win it one day.

A fun fact that Dipper may or may not have learned by now is that Bill can purr! For the same reasons a cat might - calm, content, and relaxed.

However, Bill also hasn't done it in forever. For that kind of thing to happen, he'd have to be really content - to the point where let his guard down completely. Which I don't imagine he's done in basically.... eons? For all that he's had happy Party Times and pleased Winning Times and even Chill times, it's pretty impossible to ever really stop watching your back in the demon realm.

But say. After a great day. One where Bill's just won something, he's done something clever to pat himself on the back about, and he gets to chill with his husband in bed while Dipper rubs his back - just a calm, domestic-ish hangout where they're chilling - Dipper might feel and hear that rumbling start up. To his great surprise.

(And Bill's. He genuinely can't remember the last time that old instinct kicked in; it's unsettling.)

Here is what I imagine a triangle purring sounds like. It's more big-cat-like in the human body.

#answers #Is the third headcanon in here blatantly self indulgent? Yes #Am I one day going to write it? Also probably yes #Seems like good snippet material #I also invite you all to picture the first time Dipper was really sick or hurt #And Bill hauled him into the bath and just. Took charge of the whole ordeal #Didn't have to move anything that hurt and just shut his eyes and soaked it all in #The relief at feeling *clean* and no longer gross. A brief respite from feeling pained and sick and tired. #He's still exhausted but this is genuinely *nice* #With that good good feeling of having someone rub their fingers on his scalp and the warm water #The close touch. Being taken care of. Feeling good for a moment and knowing it's proof that Bill *really* - #Dipper started crying a little. Not much. Like a hiccup and his eyes teared up. #Which greatly alarmed Bill in the process. He's. Very not used to tears except in the respect of sad/fear/hurt #Wondering what the hell he was doing wrong. Crap. Is his human broken?? Shit. #Nah Bill he's fine he's just a lil overwhelmed. You're doing great #I again refer back to that ask I once got: How sickly sweet can you make these two idiot? #JUST WATCH ME

[evakuality]

Let’s talk about Isak

So here we are at the second of the meta posts I wanted to write, and for which I created this blog in order to have somewhere to put them.  This one is about Isak all on his own.  He’s such a complex, interesting character and I’m constantly fascinated by him.  However, as in all fandoms, there are certain perceptions of him that have become accepted as universal truths to the point that most fic and art uses those ideas as if they are canon.  Since I’m in an analytical mood, I’m going to take a look and see just how accurate they all are.  Again, I could write a book on all the things I agree with about Isak: he’s smart, he’s analytical, he’s an introvert, he loves Even etc etc.  But there’s not much use in rehashing that stuff again, so I’m going to look at things where I either disagree or at least partially do.

First: That he’s small and weak.

Okay, so I take major exception to this one.  It’s probably one of the ones that bothers me the most.  Take that as an acknowledgement that I come into this with a bias against it, but I’ll still try to be fair.   Obviously, the actor grew over the course of the show and this has an impact on how we perceive the character.  Season one Isak isn’t noticeably taller than the people around him.  He’s still not what I would call short, but he’s not a towering giant either.  However, by season three Isak is pretty damn tall.  I know this is Scandinavia and there’s a stereotype that they’re tall people as a general rule and so someone as tall as Isak isn’t necessarily going to appear out of place or even particularly tall.  Having said that, however, it’s important to note that even for this group of people, Isak is not one of the smallest.  He’s one of the tallest.  He’s close to Magnus in height and it’s hard to tell which one has the edge.  I think it changes depending on the angle of the shots, and both of them are noticeably taller than their other friends.  There is one other thing that has an impact on how we see Isak, of course.  That one thing we can all agree on, and it is that Even is very tall, taller than the rest of them.  This creates a false impression of Isak as small, and he even looks delicate next to Even in the final clip of season 3 due to the costumes each is wearing.  I understand that this is what has fueled the perception that he is small, delicate, weak etc, however it’s still wrong.  There are a few inches at most between the two of them, and by season 4 that difference seems even smaller, probably due to the actor still growing.

The problem I have with this is that ‘small’ Isak is almost always coupled with ‘delicate, weak, needing protection and looking after’ Isak.  The fandom often has Isak as wearing Even’s clothes and them swimming on him.  Which is just blatantly, actually wrong.  In canon we see Even in Isak’s clothes and they fit perfectly.  These two are pretty much the exact same size and could probably share clothes for the rest of their lives and not have to worry about them not fitting.  It seems like the intention with this idea in fic is to infantilize Isak because along with this ‘he swims in Even’s clothes’ comes an idea that he can’t look after himself, but that’s a comment for another part of this post.  Another side effect of this infantilization is that Isak is generally cast as weak.  In fic and headcanons (and sometimes art, though forgive me I’m new to this business and I don’t see as much art as I do fic etc so it’s less on my radar), if someone is going to sweep someone else up it’s generally Even.  If someone needs carrying over a threshold it’s Isak.  However, in the show we see the opposite.  In the birthday video, Isak is the one who lifts Even onto his shoulders.  Isak is the one who’s shown to be working out.  Isak is the one who has definition and muscle in his body (seen earlier in the show, too; this isn’t a new development).  He’s very obviously not weak.  

Second: He’s manipulative

It’s fairly clear where this one comes from.  After all, Isak spent season one manipulating his friends and was spectacularly successful in his actions.  Right?  Well, yes and no.  Yes, he did what he could deliberately to try to make things difficult between Jonas and Eva.  He succeeded in making things worse and causing Eva a lot more misery than she might otherwise have endured.  However, I do not agree that he broke them up.  It’s not like this was a healthy relationship and would have remained secure and stable if not for Isak.  No, they had serious problems and difficulties already and his actions, while reprehensible and designed for his own gain, made no difference to the health or otherwise of the relationship.  As Eva says later, he didn’t fuck things up between them, they did that themselves.   I’ve only seen season one once, so I’m not totally certain of all the details, but his manipulations during it feel more off the cuff anyway.  They seem to be things that he thinks of in the moment to work for him.  He’s certainly not through everything through because he doesn’t plan for contingencies or for what will happen if he’s found out.  This, then, is where the idea of Isak being a master manipulator comes from.  It’s partially true because he does do some very underhand things in order to get the result he desires.  The problem is … he’s not actually very good at lying and manipulating.

This is most clear in season three when he’s with Even and bails on both sets of other plans for the evening.  Manipulation 101 would have you tell both sets the same lie or ensure that they can’t contact each other to prove you’re not being honest.  However, not long later he’s been called on it because he told two different and easily verified lies to the two groups.  They know, almost immediately, that he’s lying.  Not exactly master manipulative material.  Then his go-to excuse for ditching the boys is that he has a family thing.  He uses this so often that it’s become something of an in joke.  The boys clearly know he’s lying, as shown when Mahdi teases him about going to a family thing when he leaves the party they’re trying to get into.  He can’t keep his emotions off his face, either.  His misery is clear in his expression and his body language through much of his season and the boys are obviously hovering in the background concerned about him.  Even during season one he’s not the expert people suggest.  His actions come to light when Iben tells Eva that Isak is the one who’s spreading things around because he didn’t make sure that it couldn’t be traced to him.  That he never learns from this experience to become a better manipulator is actually testament to the idea that he’s just not invested in this as an activity and that when he tries he’s not actually good at it.  

The one way in which he’s actually successful at it is with girls.  He has a very practiced mask which he pulls on and uses to get girls to fall into his arms.  He’s very believable in this instance as it’s important to him to maintain that facade of heterosexuality.  Emma falls for it on numerous occasions and it can’t be denied that he’s doing this again for his own benefit.  However, it’s an understandable set of actions from someone who’s very insecure about his place and how he might be perceived if he strays off the accepted path.  It’s very telling that the only times he’s actually successful at lying and manipulation are when there are very high stakes for his own life (or if we include Jonas/Eva, when there’s a very shaky foundation ready to fall anyway).  This is not Isak’s natural state and tends to stem from misery rather than maliciousness when it happens.  It doesn’t excuse what he does at all, but he’s definitely not a master at this.

Third: He’s a spoiled brat

Another of these persistent ideas in this fandom is that Isak is a pampered, spoiled brat who gets everything done for him when he stamps his feet petulantly.  This Isak has an Even who falls over himself to do everything for him and to whom his petulance is an endearing trait.  I touched on some of this in my previous meta, but there are some other things to note.  Most prominently, that Isak has been looking out for his own well being for a very long time.  During season one, his father leaves him at home with his clearly mentally ill mother.  This is speculation at this point, but if she’s as bad as she appears to be later on, it’s unlikely that she was capable of caring for herself and for Isak full time at this stage.  He’s likely to have had to be self sufficient at least part of this period.  It’s also worth noting that Isak left this home to live in a stranger’s basement because that seemed to be a better option to him.  How awful must it have been to live at home if that solution was ‘better’ to him!  

That other meta deals with Isak as a domestic person so I won’t do it again.  But alongside that issue is the idea that Isak is always grumpy and that Even indulges this and lets him get away with being a brat.  But is he that bratty?  I would argue that no he isn’t.  He’s grumpy and sarcastic, yes, but that doesn’t make him a brat (and let’s not get too much into the infantilization that suggests, too, since brats are usually considered to be young and childish).  Isak has a temper and can be prone to fly off the handle with little provocation, and yes in those moments Even does get very solicitous and calms him down.  But what this line of reasoning forgets is how Isak does the same for Even.  When Even gets into his funks (‘this isn’t going to work’ etc) Isak calmly and firmly shuts him down.  We also see him wrapping Even in a blanket to keep him warm and safe, we see him rescuing Even at karaoke when he gets upset.  We see Isak looking after Even emotionally at least as often as we see Even doing the same for Isak.  This is a partnership, and they are equal.  No-one is a brat or spoiled; they both support each other.

Fourth: he’s submissive and shy

Probably the most prevalent of the fandom’s ideas on Isak is this one.  But Isak is hardly shy at all and definitely not the submissive type during what we see in the show.  He’s a little wary and unsure with Even to start with because he’s probably never been in a situation where he’s been so attracted to someone else before, but he doesn’t lack confidence or assertiveness.  He’s deeply attracted to Even, in a way that makes him blushy and a bit stuttery, and yet he asks him on their second meeting to buy him some beer.  That’s not a submissive person.  He goes out of his way to find Even and he demands answers from him when he’s been seemingly flakey (‘where have you been?’ etc).  When Even comes to his home after the text exchange, Isak is the one to move forward and kiss Even.  I’m not suggesting that he’s dominant and aggressive, but he isn’t scared to go after what he wants and he’s definitely not scared to speak his mind.  That’s not just with Even, either.  He’s got a  quick wit and he loves to sting those around him, particularly when they’ve been ignorant (‘that doesn’t mean you have any more game’ and ‘I was going to ask you the same thing’ etc).  He hits Mikael for some nebulous reason and spits aggressive attacks at the homophobe on the street.  Isak is not one to sit back and let things be done to him if he has some way to retaliate.  All of this is said much more eloquently in this post, so I suggest reading that one for more detail on this point.

The one thing where this seems like a less confident Isak might be true is when he follows Even basically wherever he wants to go and when he goes very soft and pliant when he’s with Even.  However, neither of these things necessarily mean he’s submissive.  He follows Even because Even has fun, exciting, reckless ideas and Isak is always up for doing fun, exciting, reasonably reckless things.  He also has enough ideas of his own that Even often goes along with.  He suggests they go to the party at his place, and as shown before he’s the one who often initiates kissing etc.  It’s not all a one-way street.  The fact that Isak gets soft and cuddly with Even has less to do with submission and more to do with being comfortable in his own skin.  In all of these scenes he’s in a place where he feels he can be himself and be relaxed.  As the show wears on, those places he feels that way expand and it’s not just Even that he’s soft around.  The last time we see him in season three, he’s chatting to Eva.  he looks comfortable, he’s smiling, he’s genuine, and he’s relaxed.  Even is there but he’s not the one isak’s talking to.  The scenes with Sana in season 4 move further and further to a place of real comfort and ability to relax until the end when he’s comfortable enough to tell her that he got a 5 on his test, and his body language is relaxed and his smile genuine despite there being no Even in the shot.  This suggests that an Isak who is comfortable in himself and the situation is actually quite relaxed and comfortable regardless of whether Even is there or not.

Now, am I saying all this to suggest that people don’t write or headcanon this way?  No, of course not.  But I do think it’s good sometimes to sit back and examine our assumptions and realise how much of what we do is not based on what is actually presented in the show.  

#skam #isak #my meta stuff