#Nessa2021writes

[almondbiscotti]

I have a Problem.

You know what I did this week? I just consumed a lot a lot a lot a lot of Shinee content. Because they’re still promoting their latest comeback! And they are seriously working their assess off because THERE’S SO MUCH CONTENT TO CONSUME. From music shows to variety shows, to YouTube content and radio shows. 

Being a fangirl is tough. 

I’m also not (too) ashamed to say I’ve dropped actual money on some Shinee merch this time round. In my entire Kpop fangirl life, I’ve only ever dropped money on Kpop idol merch like... maybe 5 times? Pretty sure I can count them all on one hand. 

I have bought... 

The Wonder Girls Nobody album, the first and ONLY idol album I have ever bought. I do not buy albums mostly because I already spend money every month for Spotify. And the pretty pictures that come with albums don’t appeal very much to me. 

Shinee’s 2009 desk calendar. I cannot remember if this was a gift from DY or I asked him to help me get it from Korea but I had it so... okay take it as I bought it. This was a BEAUTIFUL calendar but I didn’t actually use it because I kept it flipped it to the month Minho was featured for like... the entire year. 

TBJ Wonder S jeans and a TBJ pink t-shirt which was endorsed by the Wonder Girls. 

A Clride t-shirt endorsed by Shinee that had some super ominous message about climate change and a penguin on it that I bought SOLELY because Minho was wearing it in the photoshoot. 

As you can tell, I only drop money for Shinee and Wonder Girls. And keeping in mind that all these were bought in 2009, when I was a broke ass student with next to zero income. The obsession dedication! (BTW, I’m pretty sure I’ve thrown all these away. The clothing doesn’t fit me anymore and wtf would I do with a 2009 calendar in fucking 2021?!) 

This time round... I er... dropped money on the Shinee x Jinro collab. I fucking dropped 50sgd on shot glasses HA. HA. HA. What the fuck Vanessa. (but 온유이즈백!!!!!!! I MEAN, COME ON! THEY 이즈백!!!!!) 

I also dropped money on a pullover and a hoodie from ODG because the Shinee boys wore them in a video. I specifically bought the one Onew was wearing but also, it is the nicest one la. Honest to God, not just because Onew was wearing it! 

But the thing I’m most WTF at myself about is... I dropped money on a box of  Mcnulty drip coffee because Onew brewed a cup of it on a variety show the boys appeared on. WHY AM I BUYING DRIP COFFEE PACKETS?! I DON’T EVEN LIKE DRIP COFFEE. AND I HAVE A FUCKING NESPRESSO MACHINE. WOMAN WHAT THE FUCK?!

Whoa, I think the Wonder Girls disbanding is not a bad thing. Lord knows what else I’ll drop money on. And the content to keep up with! Seriously, being a fangirl is tough! (Yes, fucking first world problem, I know. There’s an entire part of me that’s going WHAT. THE. FUCK. VANESSA. constantly, 24/7) 

All in all, I became a Shinee fangirl in 2008 and that fire burnt alarmingly bright for about 2 years (I read my blogposts from that period and I was fucking DELUSIONAL and downright creepy, I tell you) then it calmed down and NOW IT’S BACK WITH A VENGENCE. But now, I have something I didn’t have then. A stable job that brings in a stable income which means I can spend actual money on Korean boys who don’t know I exist. SHINEE FOREVER! 

One day, I’ll look back at all of this and think to myself, this was my youth. (I know I in my 30s liao but aiya fuck it, still young.) I will look back at all of this fondly and be thankful that there was something that gave me so much joy, something that brought comfort, a distraction in a world that demands so much of you. 

And that’s a good thing, right? 

#Shinee #Nessa2021writes #I seriously need to properly evaluate where I drop money though #the drip coffee is seriously last warning

[almondbiscotti]

I don’t have any good news this week and I know that I shouldn’t haven’t expected anything else since it’s really just my first time and I’m really a nobody in this rich glorious sphere of clever people I cannot be and I know that it doesn’t mean anything and that hope must spring eternal and that rejection is 99% of the game and that people slog and work hard and I can’t expect immediate success. I know I know I know. It’s only January (but it’s nearly over...) and I have 11 delicious months to savour and that there is more I’m going to create and enjoy and mold and I KNOW ALL OF THAT GOD DAMN IT. 

But rejection still hurts and I’ve had a long day at work and I’m already sick of wishing I was better at this and seriously woman, it’s only fucking January. I wish, I wish so hard. But nothing is going to come out of it and after this, I’m just going to go back to my word document peppered with short incoherent paragraphs and I will try again. 

#Nessa2021writes

[almondbiscotti]

Week 11: HELLO I AM BACK

HELLO HI HOW YA DOING. 

Wow, I have not done my week in review in quite a while! And Shinee is to blame. Though, really, the boys are fucking flawless and blameless. I’m the useless one in this narrative. 

But regardless, I BE BACK for my week in reviews after like a 4 week break detour to Shinee World.

Progress has been slow this week TBH. I’m slowly getting back to reading and writing. I didn’t do much of either this week but some progress is better than no progress! 

Deets under the cut! 

Reads This Week

A Darker Shade of Magic by V. E. Schwab (12/2021) I remembered really liking it when I first read it in 2015/2016 but I liked this a lot less this time round. I don’t know if it’s changes in my reading taste or I just... got older, but I find Schwab’s incessant emphasis on how different, special, isolated and tragic her main characters are, incredibly IRRITATING. I kept thinking all her characters are fucking millennials who need to get their shit together. 

Schwab has talent in world building. Her premise is actually quite complicated but she has managed to make her worlds intriguing and mysterious but still relatable. Plot wise, it’s pretty well done too. It’s just her characters I cannot stand. Pity, it had such potential. I don’t think I’ll pick up the rest of the trilogy. 

Writes This Week

I started on a prompt AG gave me but I’m struggling to flesh it out. Mainly because I’m writing on a topic I’m not very familiar with. The whole piece is very flat because I can’t draw from personal experience. I’m thinking I need to do some real research on the topic. This would be my first foray into writing research! 

I also started on a piece inspired by my favourite Shinee boy. HAVE TO PUT THOSE INTENSE FEELINGS SOMEWHERE. Though... I’m a bit worried it’s starting to sound a bit fanfic-y. 

Fun fact, I have actually written fanfic before. Of course it’s Shinee fanfic. Ha.ha.ha. The cringe, the horror! 

Watches This Week  

Vincenzo on Netflix  I LOVE THIS SHOW IT’S SO AMAZING I LIVE FOR HONG CHA YONG AND VINCENZO. The more I watch it, the more I like it. It has pretty much everything I like in a show. Beautiful faces, entertaining characters, HILARIOUS CRACK, Song Joong Ki’s face, Song Joong Ki being violent in a suit, Song Joong Ki in a suit, CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, anti-heroes that aren’t all righteous and shit and totally will fuck you up mafia style, EXCELLENT comedic timing by the cast, twists and turns like an Auntie Annie’s pretzel, but best of all, a female character that isn’t a pushover. SHE WILL FUCK YOU UP and be fucking irritating while doing it. I love. I love it so much. I highly recommend Vincenzo for it’s extremely high entertainment value. And of course, SONG JOONG KI’S BEAUTIFUL FACE. 10/10 will recommend. 

Ghosts by BBC Comedy  I chanced upon a Facebook ad for this show and started on it because the short clip on Facebook was so bloody funny. And it’s actually really very funny! It’s typical British humour which I like so that’s great. Premise is a couple inherits a old big ass country side home and the ghosts that come with it. And comedy ensues because the ghosts are just silly idiots who aren’t very good at haunting. It’s great, I love it. Will recommend. 

Listens This Week 

Still on my Shinee binge! Ah, their songs are SUCH BOPS! My favourites are:

한마디 (Beautiful Life)

Why So Serious

Dream Girl

데리러 가 (Good Evening) 

Replay (누난 너무 예뻐) - THE REAL OG SHINEE SONG!!!!! 

The Studio Ghibli Sleep playlist on Spotify is pretty dope relaxing music too. It’s essentially Studio Ghibli songs on Piano. It’s great. I love it. 

Not a bad week. Getting back into the swing of things!! :) 

#Nessa2021writes

[almondbiscotti]

Week 7 - Where Does The Time Go?

Doing this one day late because I was lazy yesterday. And also because I spent most of yesterday obsessively watching whatever Shinee content I could find on YouTube. There’s so much Shinee crack online, it’s giving me life. SO MUCH LIFE. 

Deets below.

Reads This Week

The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde (11/2021) This was such an original novel! I really really really enjoyed it, even if it got really quite absurd and confusing at some parts. 

I’ve said this before and I still stand by it, Fforde is an excellent world builder and his prose is *chef’s kiss*. I don’t think his style is for everyone because he requires you to just believe in him, believe that the story is going somewhere, believe that the reality he has created is plausible, for you to enjoy the storytelling. But I love it. I love the wittiness of his prose, the nonchalance of the absurd. I’ll be reading more of him. 

A Darker Shade of Magic by V. E. Schwab (12/2021) I read this some years ago when it was first published in 2015. TBH, I don’t really remember much of it anymore but I do remember liking it. It’s part of a trilogy but the first time I read this, the 2nd and 3rd books hadn’t been written yet. So i’m re-reading this to read the sequels. 

It’s good! Good world building, interesting characters. I see some elements of Gaiman’s Neverwhere in it. (Can’t remember if I read Neverwhere before or after A Darker Shade of Magic.) I still think Gaiman reigns supreme but Schwab’s not bad too. 

Good Reads has quite scathing reviews of the book 2 and 3 though. But... we’ll see. Good Reads isn’t always reliable. 

Writes This Week

Trying to be okay with not writing this week because I’ve been trying to read more. It’s okay it’s okay it’s okay. 

Watches This Week 

Vincenzo on Netflix I only started on this because Song Joong Ki’s in it and his beautiful face can sell me lizard droppings. And I suppose the premise was quite intriguing. Though... Korean Italian mafia lawyer? Er... Korean shows tend to completely butcher non-Korean content so I wasn’t having very high hopes. 

I struggled with the 1st episode because I thought it was a melodrama! So I had all these unfulfilled expectations. But turns out it is a dark comedy! After realising that, the show became a lot easier to enjoy. 

I have to say though, that not 10 minutes into the 1st episode and the amount of ludicrous was already THROUGH THE FUCKING ROOF. This must be some kind of record, seriously.

I am all for suspension of SOME belief. Make the characters cool, make full use of Song Joong Ki’s perfect face, work him in a tailored suit etcetera etcetera. I’m not complaining about all the wonderful close ups. But there’s a difference between cool explosions while the hot man walks away in slow-mo with not a strand of hair out of place and FUCKING IMPOSSIBRUUUUUU. I mean, DUDE COME ON. Cringe x 10000. 

I had to stop watching about 30 minutes in because I couldn’t deal with the wtf. It was so absurd, I was literally saying out loud “잠깐만 잠깐만!!! 이상해! 말이 안돼!!!!!” It was so strange, it brought out my half past six Korean, 

I’m still going to follow it though. Because it’s quite loltastic. And in case you missed it, SONG JOONG KI’S BEAUTIFUL FACE. 

Every Fucking Shinee Related Video Available on Youtube  I mean.... I have to prep for the boys’ return happening today!!!!! MAJOR FANGIRL MODE ON. Also, their videos really give me life. I really like how comfortable they’re with each other and how they roast each other like the fluffy marshmallows they are. I LOVE. 

This really brings me back to my JC days, or as Debs calls it, my MINHO 5EVA phase. (Though, these days, it’s more ONEW 5EVA.) 

Listens This Week

Shinee fucking BINGE. I’ve been listening to more of their last album, The Story of Light. It’s good! It’s the first album they did after Jonghyun’s passing so THERE ARE SO MANY FEELS. I stopped following them for a while, no idea why, i just went on to other stuff I guess. But now that I’m back, AHHHH MY HEART. SO GOOD. SO SO GOOD. 

I really like Onew’s Sign off his solo album too. His voice is beautiful. The boys are beautiful. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL NOW THAT SHINEE IS HERE. 

It was a good week, filled with good things. May this week be great too! :)

#Nessa2021writes

[almondbiscotti]

Week 6 - WRITING IS HARD

Week in review this week is a little late because I had friends over yesterday and I had no time (or head space) to do this. Was great though, I love having friends over, happy to feed all my friends! :) 

Also, Happiest Lunar New Year! This year’s LNY is low key and I’m loving it. I love not having to visit relatives. :) Also, Happy Valentine’s Day AND! Happy Total Defence Day! So many celebrations hohoho. 

This week was not a good writing week. :( Actually it was incredibly shitty. I’m starting to think I need to really dedicate protected time to write else the week just disappears me by and NOTHING GETS WRITTEN! Boo. 

Deets under the cut again! 

Reads This Week

Bestiary: A Novel by K-Ming Chang (10/2021) Holy shit this book was WEIRD. After I finished it, I went to research Chang a little because I had SO many questions and turns out she’s written mainly poetry before, Bestiary is her first novel, and it suddenly made so much more sense. I think Chang should stick to poetry, prose is not really her forte. Or it this just one of those books that I don’t get? I don’t know. I really struggled with this one, even more than I did with Burnt Sugar and that is saying something. 

I have 2 main issues with Bestiary. 

1st, there is a sameness in tone throughout the novel which usually isn’t a bad thing (consistency has its merits) but it got really repetitive in Bestiary. V She was using the same phrases, the same verbs, same imagery, which made reading very... boring after a while. Boring and honestly, kinda predictable. Chang choses to use a very poetic prose (from her poetry beginnings? I don’t know.) which honestly, gets very bland and too surreal. It made it difficult to connect with her characters and nothing feels real. 

2nd, Chang has an OBSESSION with bodily functions and fluids. It’s disgusting and does not make sense. It overwhelms everything else in the book and makes it difficult to enjoy the writing. I quickly grew weary of reading nonstop about spit, blood, feces, and piss multiple times on every page. I’m Chinese and I am not bringing any western expectations but I really struggled with all the references to spit and urine and for some reason, and the characters seem to like to lick things (WHY?! IT’S NOT NORMAL. NOT IN ANY CULTURE. WTF?). It’s hella weird. Sometimes I think Chang just enjoys the shock factor. But after the 2965th time, it’s not shocking anymore, it’s just gross.

Overall, I did not enjoy Bestiary which saddens me because I quite liked it in the beginning. And the premise was so promising! Sigh. That’s 2 Asian writers in a row that disappointed me. :( I’m gonna steer clear of Asian writers for a bit. 

Silver lining here is I’m reading out of my usual comfort zone!!! :) That’s a win in my book. 

The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde (11/2021)  Fforde is a genius world creator, SO FUCKING ORIGINAL AND CREATIVE! I already loved Fforde’s writing so I have HELLA high expectations for this and it is not disappointing. 10/10 will recommend and I’m only 10% in hoho. 

Writes This Week

Yah. Nothing. NOTHING AT ALL. I don’t want to talk about it. :/ Moving on. 

Watches This Week

What’s Wrong With Secretary Kim on Netflix  I watched it for Park Seo Jun and was very pleasantly entertained! It’s really quite cracktastic and I enjoyed Park Seo Jun’s fantastic comic timing. Story isn’t great and conflict wasn’t that intriguing but it was good chill watch for the many laughs. 

Two and a Half Men on Prime Video D and I have been making our way through all the season of Two and a Half Men. It’s really quite funny. Also very offensive. But good for laughs!

Listens This week

MAJOR SHINEE BINGE THIS WEEK. In anticipation of their comeback later this month! I’m REALLY enjoying Good Evening and Dream Girl. Onew’s voice is amazeballs. 

But also, I’ve been watching a lot of Shinee videos on Youtube and it’s awesome seeing how far they’ve come from their Replay days to where they are now IT’S SO FRICKIN AMAZING. I watch quite a lot of Fancams of Kpop idols and Shinee’s unique in that their individual fan cams look weird. Shinee’s choreography only works as a whole, in parts they look kind of incomplete. Blows my mind still. 

I need to write more. :( Argh. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER VANESSA. :( 

#Nessa2021writes

[almondbiscotti]

Week 5 - Where Did The Time Go?

Wow this week really flew me by. I was not very productive this week sigh. Rejection can be very difficult to swallow. 

But anyway, it’s part of the process. And I will continue to work at it, continue to try, do it better. :)

Deets of the week below the cut!

Reads This Week

Burnt Sugar by Avni Doshi (9/2021) I do this every single damn time. Booker Prize and me do not go together. I really think the preferences of the Booker Prize judges just ain’t mine. 

I didn’t hate Burnt Sugar but it was really quite difficult to get through because it seemed like Doshi was just trying too hard. Like stop trying to make something bigger than it is. Your character has Mommy Issues, she had a shitty childhood, okay. Give me more than self indulgent woe-is-me imagery and metaphors. I really thought Burnt Sugar had potential, there is much to explore in Mother-Daughter relationships. But in the end, it just felt flat and I ended up really disliking the main character cos she was so damn full of herself. No. Just no. 

Bestiary: A Novel by K-Ming Chang (10/2021) I’m really liking this so far. Maybe because I can relate to the Chinese mythology. I hope the rest of it is as good! 

I didn’t read that much this week. :( I think it’s cos Burnt Sugar was so hard to get through. I wonder if I should allow myself the space to give up on books that I dislike. But learning what I dislike and putting words to it helps me understand writing better too. Right? 

Writes This Week

I WROTE NOTHING THIS WEEK. :( I’m ashamed of myself. I just had no inspiration this week. 

Though, I did help write a script for a video I had to do at work but I don’t think that counts. Sigh. I’m sorry, Me. I will do better this coming week. 

Watches This Week

Flower of Evil  Lee Joon Gi’s beautiful face makes up for everything. Actually, Lee Joon Gi makes up for everything, full stop. 

It’s not a bad show, just... it seems a little unrealistic after a while? The dude in the coma for years and he had ZERO muscle atrophy? His weird ass parents? WHY THE HELL DID LEE JOON GI STAY IN THE SAME CITY IF HE’S TRYING TO RUN AWAY?! Also, I did not like Moon Chae Won’s acting. I find her face to be very... one dimensional. 

But Lee Joon Gi makes up for everything so... we’re all good. :)

Space Sweepers on Netflix I was SO excited for this when it was announced. I mean, Song Joong Ki? Kim Tae Ri? SPACE BADASSERY!? Give it to me baby. 

Then I watched it and... it’s not bad. It’s just... not good...? The premise is not bad and Song Joong Ki’s face is BEAUTIFUL. But the plot holes, plot holes EVERYWHERE. 

D and I made a game of spotting plot holes because THERE WERE SO MANY! The one I really cannot get over is the 5000KM rush near the end. Dude, Earth is a little more than 12000KM wide, why the fuck is your 5000KM so bloody far away? Also, what kind of space ship are you driving that it takes so damn long to travel 5000KM? How the hell are you escaping Earth’s orbit if you are unable to reach such critical speeds? AND! If invincible nanobots existed, WHY WEREN’T THEY USED TO SURROUND THE HYDROGEN BOMB FROM THE BEGINNING?!?!?! I mean... clearly research was not done, consultants were not consulted, conflict for the sake of conflict. DISHONOUR UPON YOU AND YOUR ANCESTORS.

Truth is, I CAN FORGIVE ALL OF THAT, I can suspend all my belief, if it wasn’t so obvious that it’s a show written to glorify Koreans. It’s really jarring when ALL your non-Korean characters are shitty and flat. They manage to make Richard Armitage one dimensional, like HOW?! 

But! Once I stopped thinking too much and allowed myself to enjoy the ride, it’s quite a good weekend watch. Don’t think too hard, enjoy Song Joong Ki’s face, laugh at the jokes, small kid is adorable, Bubs is hilarious, 7/10 for enjoyment. 

Also, again, in case you missed it. Song Joong Ki’s beautiful face. Kim Tae Ri too. Kim Tae Ri putting her gun together makes me question my sexuality God damn. 

Listens This Week

I went on a Shinee rewind binge this week. Ah, SO GOOD. They’re SO FRICKIN GOOD! Been listening to all their old stuff, right from Replay all the way until the newer stuff like Good Evening. (The dance choreography for Good Evening is FRICKIN AMAZING.) Super excited for their comeback on 22 Feb!

Onew’s latest single called Shadow off some show’s OST is also BRILLIANT. Can you tell I care next to nothing about the show? It stars Yuri from SNSD apparently and... I think idols should to stick to being idols. Onew’s voice is beautiful as always, rich like velvet, soothing as balm. I love. 

It’s already Feb!!!! How the time flies. Not a great week tbh but... there’s always next week and next next week and next next next week. The fact that you can always try and try again is comforting. And I will try to take comfort in that. :)

#Nessa2021writes

[almondbiscotti]

Week 4 - Not My Best

This post comes a little late as I spent most of yesterday in bed nursing a horrible hangover. Argh, no more alcohol for a month. Just the thought of alcohol makes me slightly nauseous. Also, major shoutout to D for looking after me and cleaning up the massive mess I made and only being a little mad at me. This, is Love. <3

Everything after the cut for asthethic purposes hoho.

Reads This Week

The Talented Mr Ripley - Patricia Highsmith (8/2021) Nubbad. I can’t quite put my finger on it to be honest, there’s something very addictive about The Talented Mr Ripley. There isn’t a lot of action and everything is told in a... meandering, in this weird pyscho’s head kind of way but you just can’t put it down. I don’t know how Highsmith does it, it’s really skilled writing. 

Overall, I enjoyed it. I’m not sure I will delve straight into the other Ripley books but I will check out more of Highsmith. 

Burnt Sugar by Avni Doshi (9/2021) I didn’t realise it was a booker prize shortlister. If I did, I might not have picked it up. Pretty much every Booker Prize awardees and shortlister I have ever read has disappointed me. But so far it’s okay. I haven’t hated it. I’m about 35% in. 

I picked it up because it explores the painful relationship between a mother and daughter and Lord knows I have issues aplenty in that department. And I relate quite hard to some of the characters. 

I didn’t read much the week past. I don’t really know why. Somehow just... mind space was a bit clouded. 

Writes This Week

I read a micro fiction piece titled Bad Seeds sometime last week and I loved it. And I got inspired and ended writing a days of the week piece which was really fun to put together. Writing can be so fun. I wish it was fun all the time. 

I still can’t quite figure out my parents piece. I can’t decide if I want to make it dramatic or funny so it just ends up sounding schizophrenic. Argh. Some pieces write themselves, others are stubborn and a pain in the ass. 

Watches This Week

Lupin - Part 1  Not bad. Was a quick easy binge watch on Saturday. It’s a fun watch but you really need to suspend belief to watch it because some things are just so damn unrealistic. I kept thinking Lupin would be SO unsuccessful in Singapore, caught and jailed almost immediately. Or it just France? The France police really as bad as they say? 

Flower of Evil - Episode 1 God damn Lee Joon Gi has a beautiful face. I’ve heard pretty good stuff about Flower of Evil (though I also heard the 2nd half gets a bit confusing and overly dramatic) but honestly, I’m only watching it for Lee Joon Gi’s face. His face has mesmerized me since the summer of 05 when I snucked into a movie theatre (twice!) to watch The King and the Clown, and it continues to bewitch me. The fellow simply does not age. Beautiful! BEAUTIFUL! 

But thoughts on the drama. It’s okay. So far. Intriguing and good pacing. We’ll see how the rest of it goes. 

Listens This Week

I’ve been really digging Sejong’s Meet Again off the Uncanny Counter Soundtrack. Her voice is really soothing. Honestly, the whole Uncanny Counter soundtrack (3 whole damn songs! Why were they so austere with the playlist I do not know.) is a major tear jerker and I’ve been loving it. 

Generally I’ve been listening to a lot of Korean OSTs this week. They make for really good reading music. 

Not the best week for my reading, writing, watching and listening. Work was a crazy bitch the week past. I hope this week is better. Please, let this week be better. 

#Nessa2021writes

[almondbiscotti]

Week 3 - The Week that Reading Overtook Everything

I read a lot this week. So much that I didn’t really have time for anything else. (As you’ll shortly see below). 

This week is making me realise that beyond just the limited time thing, it is also really challenging to divide my attention. Being deeply immersed in reading makes it difficult for me to pause and watch a Netflix series because I keep thinking of the characters I’ve been reading about. And vice versa. Can I train this mental dexterity? Is this a sign of aging? FUCK I’M GETTING OLD. 

Deets below the cut because I think it affects my Tumblr aesthetics with such a long block of text. Hehehe. 

Reads This Week

Kim Ji-young, Born 1981 by Cho Nam-ju (5/2021) This read more like social commentary than an actual novel. I am thankful I don’t face any major gender inequality in Singapore but there are still things I can relate to. Societal norms that dictate the roles of women and men and the struggles that women go through to keep up with these expected roles. Mostly those revolving around being a good mother, wife and daughter-in-law. Then you have the relatively new career-woman role. And so much of these roles are incongruent with each other. 

Overall the writing is very sterile. No frills, very factual, bordering on being report-like. And.... very depressing. I still enjoyed it though. Because it talks about a very real issue and it made me thankful that I don’t have these unsurmountable issues to deal with in Singapore. The ending was genius, like a stab right in the heart. 

I don’t know if guys would be able to appreciate the point of the book as much as a girl would. Maybe that’s why S.Korea was so divided by the movie. Still messed up though, S.Korea really needs to get its shit together. 

Diary of a Murderer: And Other Stories by Kim Young-ha. (6/2021) This is a collection of 4 short stories. The first is quite long, a novella really. And it is the best in the collection. Tells the tale of a serial killer with Alzheimer's. It’s SO DARK. I legit got chills reading it. Top notch writing. The rest of the stories were a bit strange, as though Kim wrote them while he was high on drugs, in a bad way. Particularly the 4th story. So enjoyment of this book looks like a inverse linear graph, for me at least. 

But the strength of the first story makes up for it, so overall I still enjoyed it. 

I realise I did 3 Korean writers in a row. Hehehe. Quite impressed to be honest but I think I need to lay off the Korean writers for a bit. Translated reads all have a slight awkwardness to the language which takes a bit of getting use to. 

Shades of Grey: The Road to High Saffron by Jasper Fforde (7/2021) All you idiots who read Fifty Shades of Grey obviously picked up the wrong book. THIS is the Shades of Grey you should be reading!! 

Shades of Grey is BRILLIANT. When I finished it, I felt so lost, unsure of what to do with myself and grieving that it ended. It is so funny, so witty, so punny, so clever, so dark but so fun. I wanted to tell everyone about it, make everyone I know read it so we could talk about it. SoG is what you’d get if Hitchhiker’s Guide and 1984 made a baby, the best possible, perfect little baby. 

There is a lot of world building in SoG. And you’re not eased into it. Fforde jumps right in and it can get quite confusing with new terms and mentioned-in-passing events and there were parts where I felt like I was missing something, as though Fforde was trying to make some smart pop culture or literary reference but I just didn’t get it because I was stupid. (I do think SoG would benefit from a re-read.)

Beyond the excellent world building, I think Fforde is genius at holding suspense. There is a general sense of foreboding and mystery that hangs in the air. You know something is off, something is wrong but it’s subtle, camouflaged by Fforde’s excellent wit, hidden by bright characters in saturated primary and secondary colours. I wish Fforde would hurry write the sequels, it’s been 10 bloody years, I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO EDDIE AND JANE. 

The Talented Mr. Ripley by Patricia Highsmith (8/2021) I am reading this book completely blind. I have no idea what the heck it is about and picked it up solely because a good friend recommended it and I trust her taste. 

I’m about 10% in and... Tom Ripley is a fuck boy. He has major problems. -_- Haven’t read enough to make major comment but it’s a good change from SoG. It’s set in our world and I like how I’m focusing on characterisation when reading, and am not having to divide my attention to also understand the world the characters are in. (there’s joy in that too but SoG really took it out of me.) 

Good reads this week! Am looking forward to more reads in the coming week! 

Writes this Week

I wrote a flash fiction piece this week called She Woke Up Like This and spent a bit of time editing and refining it with feedback from AG. It was so enjoyable! Wrote it in a flash of inspiration and it’s the first piece I’ve written with an actual real life muse. I’m proud of my flash baby and hmmm I hope to have some good news soon. :)

I’ve been meaning to work on an idea I got some months back but just can’t figure out the story. I have the first line though, “My parents are not my parents, of that I’m sure.” I think this will be the piece I chisel out this coming week. 

Watches This Week

The Uncanny Counter - Up to episode 14 Argh, hate waiting for new episodes to be released! Was just telling D that we should wait for the last episode to be out next week before finishing the last 2 episodes because I’m sure the penultimate episode will be major cliffhanger-y.

Enjoying it still! Though there’s this one episode where an idiot small boy foils the Counters’ plan by being an idiotic piece of shit and then it hit me THE ACTOR IS THE SAME ONE FROM SWEET HOME. THE IDIOT BOY THAT KEEPS CRYING AND BEING FUCKING IRRITATING. 

Argh. If ever I’m in a hodgepodge mix gang that needs to fight for survival, I’m leaving all idiotic Korean children to die first. 

I didn’t watch much this week because I was reading a lot. SoG really sucked me in. Am planning to start on Busted (I watched season 1 years ago and IT WAS SO LOLTASTIC) and have heard good things about Lupin. Oh and Flower of Evil solely for Lee Joonki’s beautiful face. 

Listens this Week

I haven’t been listening to anything majorly new this week, been just relying on Spotfiy’s Daily Mixes. Also enjoyed the Calming Acoustic playlist on Spotify but that’s because it’s great reading music. 

I just found out OCBC has a frickin podcast on Spotify. What. -_-

January is nearly ending!!! Gosh, time really flies. Hope everyone’s January has been good so far! 

#Nessa2021writes

[almondbiscotti]

Week 1 - The Rain Helps

What a first week of 2021! 

Okay, actually, it wasn’t anything particularly special. Except for how rainy it has been I guess. But I love the rain and I’m relishing the gloominess and solitude that the rain brings. It’s nice to be home and not have anything to do. 

I kind of made resolutions this year. Just 2 actually. To read and write more. Specifically, a book a week, and a written piece a week too. And not bad, I have managed to keep it up for the first week of the year. (Woohoo, only 51 more to go. *sweats nervously*)

Reads this Week

The Neil Gaiman Reader Selected Fiction by Neil Gaiman On the reading front, I finally finished The Neil Gaiman Reader Selected Fiction collection on the 2nd day of the year. I love Gaiman’s words with the passion of a thousand fiery suns and I dragged finishing this collection because I didn’t want it to end. Even though I’ve read pretty much everything in this collection before (it’s nothing new, just a collection of his top short story hits from various places. With just one new short story towards the end.) I still enjoyed it very very much. Gaiman is a beautiful storyteller, unmatched in my opinion. 

Super Freakonomics - Global Cooling, Patriotic Prostitutes and Why Suicide Bombers Should Buy Life Insurance by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner  I also finished Super Freakonomics - Global Cooling, Patriotic Prostitutes and Why Suicide Bombers Should Buy Life Insurance by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner the week past. Will count this as my first completed read of the year. I enjoy the Freakonomics series very much since picking up the first title some years back. I even listened to a few of their podcasts but I think they write better than they speak. Personally prefer the first title better but it might have been because some of the topics covered in the 2nd title weren’t as interesting to me. Still good, still fascinating. Inhaled the hospital/healthcare related stories. The one about Ignatz Semmelweis and how he discovered the reason behind the high mortality rate of mothers in a maternity clinic (and the original speculated reasons given hohohoho) kind of blew my mind. 

If I Had Your Face by Frances Cha  I started on If I Had Your Face by Frances Cha last night and am about 20% in. I picked it up based on a recommendation I saw on an Influencer I follow’s Instagram. (Jemmawei guys, her book recommendations aren’t always great but I’m of the opinion reading preferences are highly individualised anyway. But because she reads and talks about her reads SO much, it’s almost like browsing a mini-library scrolling through her Instagram highlights.) It’s not bad! So far. IIHYF is set in S.Korea, and tells the tale of 4 women living in the same apartment complex. It discusses ridiculous beauty standards, exacerbated by the societal demands of S. Korea, strict social hierarchies and...K Pop apparently? I haven’t gotten to the Kpop part but I’m enjoying it so far. 

If anyone has anything good to recommend me on the reading front, please let me know! I would like to read a variety of styles this year and move away from things I’m comfortable with. (As I type this, I see a copy of The Fifth Discipline by Peter Senge staring at me. Ha. Ha. Ha.) 

Writes this Week

I had a conversation with my good friend, ST, earlier this week about left handedness because Song Kang, the Korean actor I’m currently enamored with seems to be right handed but eats with his left. (I do not understand this and attempted using the chopsticks with my left hand. I managed to spill half the contents of my soup bowl and bring dishonour to all my Chinese ancestors in the process.) 

The conversation expanded into a writing idea and I ended up with a trio of stories I’ve titled the Kang Trilogy. I’ve finished the first (needs edits though) and am halfway through the second. It’s my attempt to write while channeling my slight obsession with Song Kang. But overall, am happy with the writing progress so far. :) 

Maybe I’ll share the pieces here one day. Ah, courage, my heart. 

Watches this Week

Bridgerton on Netflix Started off okay, seem lighthearted and fun. Then the sex bits kind of caught me off guard. I am by no means a prude and I have nothing against sex on screen if it adds to the storytelling but it was so strange! (Not the sex, the sex was extremely vanilla). It felt a little like fanfiction brought to screen. Was alright I guess. The costumes and the diversity of characters and actors seem to be what people love about it. I don’t know, nobody does good costumes like Chinese Concubine dramas in my opinion. And I’m rather apathetic about racial representation on TV because I care more about good storytelling, acting and cinematography than social issues when I watch the telly. *shrugs*

Extracurricular on Netflix I’ve only managed to finish one episode and about 10 minutes of the second episode. It is SO STRESSFUL. I don’t even know why I’m so stressed out by it. D is completely undisturbed by it. But if I take an objective view of it, it’s not bad and deserves the rave reviews. Just that topics like underage prostitution and violence against women make my skin crawl. 

Korean Porkbelly Rhapsody on Netflix An entire series dedicated to samgyeopsal?! SIGN ME THE FUCK UP! A very typical Korean documentary style watch. I enjoyed it because I really like pork belly. :) 

The Nanny on Prime Video D started watching it randomly one day and I watch along. Such an oldie but a real solid goldie. Is good as a filler watch. 

Listens this Week

Been majorly loving the Sweet Home OST on Spotify. But in general have been loving Korean OSTs quite a bit this week. I think it just matches the weather, soft, simple and easy listens that I don’t pay much attention to in the background. :)

Though, writing this made me realise the Sweet Home OST is not a soft listen. Hahahahaha. I like it in the background though, really pumps you up! 

If you read through all of that and are still here with me, HI MY FRIEND YOU ARE A VERY PATIENT PERSON. I hope to do a recap of my reads, writes, watches and listens on a weekly basis. Part of it is to help me write more, another part is just to keep track of my intellectual consumption. I don’t think I have many readers anyway but if the handful of you have any recommendations for me, please share! :) 

I hope you’ve been having a great week! May the next week be kind to you and me! :)

#Nessa2021writes

[almondbiscotti]

Week 2 - Keeping It Up

Week 2, let’s go! 

Has been an odd week. Have been feeling extremely lethargic workwise. Can’t seem to concentrate and I keep procrastinating things. Only small bits of work give me inspiration and sparks joy and I’ll ride on the energy wave for a bit and it just flickers out. 

That said, on the personal front, things have been not bad. Sticking to my goals, feeding my soul. Issagoooood. 

Reads This Week

If I Had Your Face by Frances Cha (3/2021) When I finished If I Had Your Face by Frances Cha, I felt such a sense of grief. That it had to end, that I could no longer be part of the tight quartet in the book, at the sorrows of each character. Ah, the deep, unsettling sense of despair this book left me. I was scrolling through Instagram and was mentally yelling at every Instastory “HOW CAN YOU GO ABOUT YOUR LIVES SO APATHETICALLY WHEN I’M COMPLETELY DEVASTED BY THIS ONE WOMAN’S WORDS?!

This is how I want a read to leave me, despairing and desperate for more. Though I have to say it doesn’t really have a plot, no major plot development, no typical “cleverness” in storytelling. And you have to accept that the 4+1 girls you’re introduced to in the book will remain vague and blurry, like silhouettes in the rain. There is no resolution, though there is hope. (And dread actually, now that I think about it, funny how those two come together so often, Hope and Dread.) 

But the language, it was so well written! Cha is wonderful at conveying sentiments of female friendship and made me ache for my girlfriends. I could relate so intensely to the frustrations of her characters, seemingly frivolous issues about ridiculous intense admiration (obsession?) for Korean idols, other girls who look better than you, but also deep-seated scars, embarrassment at one’s childhood, monstrous guardians and care givers, a desire to be more. I could not recommend this more. I’m glad I picked it up. I will re-read this again.

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig (4/2021)

“Between life and death there is a library. And within that library, the shelves go on for ever. Every book provides a chance to try another life you could have lived. To see how things would be different if you have made other choices”

This was a strange book for me. I thought I liked it. And I think I do, just not as much as I thought I would have. It’s really strange for me to say this because this is literally a book about possibilities. About choices you make that lead you to completely different lives. And I’m ALL about possibilities. This book was dripping with potential and I feel the disappointment of unrealised potential so very acutely. 

I liked the first half more than the second half. Haig spends a good amount of time world building in the first half, talking about loss, about disappointment, about consequence of action and outcomes that don’t always meet our expectations. The premise is MAGICAL, so beautifully clever. A Library of possible lives, my heart aches at how poetic that is.

The second half just went into weird philosophical town. “The only way to learn is to live.”, “But now you’re lost within your lostness.” It got a bit… The 5 People You Meet In Heaven-ish. Which for some people is probably great, for me… it felt a bit preachy. Perhaps if you share similar regrets as the protagonist, Nora, you might like this book a lot than me.

Still enjoyed it though. For the love of the language. Haig is quite a virtuoso at wielding language to break your heart. Maybe it’s just personal preference, but I wish Haig took a more fantasy route, instead of a philosophical, Life Is About Living, approach. 

Kim Ji-young, Born 1982 by Cho Nam-ju (5/2021) I first heard of this book some time in 2019 I think, reading a SCMP article about how there were Korean couples breaking up because they could not agree on their feelings towards the movie adaptation. (Seriously, fucking Koreans wtf?!) Apparently there was great division on how women are treated in Korea, tensions on gender discrimination and The Patriarchy was rearing its ugly head, calling foul on attempts of the feminist movement in Korea.  

At that time, I was more intrigued by how ridiculous Korea can be (seriously, there were people sending death threats to female celebrities who even mentioned they read the book, what in the world?!) so I got a little swept away reading about how intensely chauvinistic Korea is. For all the shine and beauty of Kpop, Korea is really quite fucked up. 

I’m about 20% in and I quite like it so far! It’s translated so there are some awkward moments but overall, the language is easy and regular, highlighting how normal the discrimination and injustice Kim Ji-young faces is. 

Writes This Week

I.. haven’t finished my Kang Trilogy. Heh. I think I need some time away from it and will come back to it soon. I’m noticing that the Kang in my writing and the actor that kind of inspired him are becoming increasingly different. I think the Kang in my writing is becoming more like... me. I hope that one day, I’ll be able to write about things that I’m not familiar with, experiences that I’ve never had before. Practice, I’ll practise till I get there. 

I did finish a piece on Instagram woes, one that I started some time back but came back and finished in like... 10 mins. (Time away really does help.) It’s the first piece I’ve ever sent to a friend for critique and I’m so so so glad I did! I hope this is the start of something between AG and me, writing, reading and critiquing each others’ pieces. :) 

Reading more really does help with writing better! 

Watches This Week

MiChuRi  미추리 Season 1 & 2 on random website I googled out A Korean variety show I started on because Song Kang was in it. Premise is that the participants of the show have to solve clues to find a sum of money hidden somewhere in this “village”. It has elements of 2 Days 1 Night and Running Man. Yoo Jae Suk hosts so you already know it’s gonna be good! 

IT IS SO FUNNY HOMG WHAT. 10/10 will recommend for crack lols. I actually found myself learning quite a bit about the Korean language through this show. Also conclude that Song Kang looks great but he is severely lacking in the reasoning department. Boy is not what we would typically deem “intelligent”. But God Damn his beautiful face! God is fair, God is always fair. 

Extracurricular on Netflix About half way through it. It is really very good but in small doses please. Sometimes I forget that our main characters are just high school students but when I do, I feel almost physically sick watching what they have to do to survive. 

Kim Dong Hee is perfect as the incredibly introverted and troubled Oh Ji Soo. I think he carries the show. Some actors act with their eyes, Kim Dong Hee acts with his whole body. You can feel the desperation rushing out in waves from him, from his eyes to his shoulders to his frickin hair. I feel so much for him even though he essentially is pimping out underage escorts. Ah, CHEF’S KISS! 

The Uncanny Counter on Netflix 3 episodes in and it’s not bad! Though the amount of bullying that happens in Korean schools... is it normal?! I hope it’s just dramatised for shows... Now that I think about it, Extracurricular had lots of school bullying.  Ya... Korea, what the hell is up man?!

Also, none of the actors playing high school students look like high school students. Seriously, some of them could pass off as 40 year old uncles. Especially the bullies. Maybe they retain every year for the past 10 years? Is that why? 

Okay, don’t let me put you off The Uncanny Counter. It’s really quite good. So far at least. Excellent storytelling, great world building, above average cast. A solid 7.5/10 in my books. 

My main problem with it is that the characters are very one dimensional. I wish there was more nuance? Like you can fit every character in typical Kdrama tropes almost immediately and it makes the show very predictable. I LOVE the little friendship trio that our protagonist is in though. Is a rare thing, to find such precious friendships in Kdramas built on just pure friendship with no weird love triangle thrown in to complicate things. 

Listens This Week

Rediscovered some of IU’s old stuff. Like really old, like 2008, 2010 old. I really like her duet with Na Yoon Kown called First Love, and of course, Good Day is great. 

Been listening to quite a bit of Twice this week too. Well, just 2 of their latest singles. I really like I Can’t Stop Me and More and More. 

Kpop still dominates my listening charts this week. Heh. :) 

This week was not bad to me but I think I really need to pull my weight a bit more. May week 3 continue to be kind to us all! :) 

#Nessa2021writes