#PROVIDE ME WITH FLUORIDE‚ but not mixed with the fires of Hell‚ and I'll keep all my teeth for years to cooooommeeee

[pterribledinosaurdrawings]

Toothpaste companies must really hate people who are allergic to mint toothpaste, which a lot of people are! Apparently it's NOT supposed to burn like minty hellfire? (I'm fine with mint candy, it's only mint toothpaste that hurts)

I've been using Tom's fennel for years, but am now trying to find one with fluoride in it, and finding a toothpaste that is no mint and yes fluoride should not be such a huge and infuriating quest. still got some more grocery stores to search, but not even the children's toothpaste in the nearest one had any that were suitable.

Edit: Hey you don't need to keep copying out the tags, I wrote all the Minty Hellfire lyrics here. And then someone recorded them here.

Also, I think it might technically be a sensitivity rather than an allergy, but whatever it is, toothpaste is not supposed to hurt! If it's burning then that's bad and you should try to find a new one if possible!

#LIKE FIIIIRE! HELLFIIIIIRE! THIS FIRE ON MY TONGUE! #I therefooooore requiiiire a new paste tooooo cleeaaan gums #It's not my fault! I'm not to blame! it is the Colgate brand and Crest who've set this flame! #it's not my fault‚ if in their plans‚ they made the toothpaste so much stronger than a maaaaaaannnnnn #protect me‚ oh grocers! don't let the menthol touch my lips‚ don't let its fire sear my mouth and gums! #PROVIDE ME WITH FLUORIDE‚ but not mixed with the fires of Hell‚ and I'll keep all my teeth for years to cooooommeeee #HELLFIRE #MINT FIRE #IS ALL THAT I CAN FIND! #I may be! requiired! to order paaaaste oooonline!