#PS. the entire floor was mopped TWICE.

[flufflefleury]

Landlord text from earlier in the month: We gave you the apartment in a spotless condition, but we understand if you cannot return it as such since you don’t have professional tools. Normal wear and tear is fine.

Landlord after I have followed cleaning instructions, spent HOURS doing free labor for her working on making the apartment to her specifications: Bathtub is COVERED in soap scum... Debris on patches of the floor... Dust everywhere...

Why, yes, I did indeed clean that bathtub thoroughly, yet the perfectionist eyes of the landlord saw none of that :)

#not at all surprised #we cleaned and dusted that place everywhere we could reach #aaaaaand still it ain't enough #really tempted to pull that text she had sent earlier BUT there's only two days left #not worth my time #PS. the entire floor was mopped TWICE.

[its-time-to-write]

What about Jaime liking someone who works at/owns a flower shop so he keeps making excuses to come in and get flowers? Richmond is real confused about why he’s giving away so many bouquets all of the sudden

(Ps I love love love your work! I’ve got it so I get an alert whenever you post because of how much I love it!)

this one turned out SO CUTE I hope you like it!

wishing on every one

You know you’re fucked as soon as he walks through the door of your shop. 

Then he tells you he’s looking for flowers for his mum who’s visiting him for the first time, and you know you’re extra fucked. 

He’s absolutely gorgeous, especially in the soft light streaming through your flower shop windows, framed by the vibrant hues of the plants lining the shelves.

Then he says, “I’m Jamie,” peers at your name tag, and tells you that you have a lovely name. You’re blushing the entire time you lead him around the shop, answering each one of his questions as best you can without stuttering. He cracks jokes, picks out a nice bunch, and leaves you one flower for yourself on his way out. 

And then, the next week, he comes back. 

Jamie Tartt, AFC Richmond’s star footballer, comes back to your shop and flirts with you again. 

Of course you know who he his, you knew the moment he stepped through the door. You live in Richmond after all, and you agree with the great Dani Rojas that here, football is life. It’s just hard to believe that your favorite footballer is back in your tiny little store and maybe sort of kinda definitely flirting with you.

You don’t let it get to your head (much). It’s Jamie Tartt, you’ve seen him on Lust Conquers All. To him, flirting is like breathing. You also don’t tell anyone, although you feel like you’re bursting inside. Your flat mate notes that you’re smiling more and that you always seem to be humming, and could you please maybe be careful when you’re skipping around because she just mopped the floor and doesn’t want you to slip. 

But Jamie Tartt keeps coming back; first once a week, then twice, then about every other day. He follows you around as you help him choose flowers for all kinds of occasions, and then he’a gone again, leaving you to wonder which time will be the last. 

—

At Nelson Road, things are in chaos. 

Ok, maybe chaos is too strong a word. Things are… out of the ordinary. 

Well, but things have been out of the ordinary ever since Ted Lasso showed up. 

Things are… weird. Yeah, that’s a good word. They’re weird. And “they,” refers to Jamie. 

It starts off simple enough. It's Sam’s birthday, so Jamie shows up with some flowers. He heard Sam say they were his favorites, so it makes sense that he’d bring them. No one notices anything. 

The next week, he’s brought some for Ms. Welton. 

“It’s for all the shit you do that we don’t know about,” he explains. “Didn’t want you to think we didn’t notice.”

Rebecca doesn’t comment on the double negative, just smiles and says, “Thank you, Jamie,” as Keeley sits forward on the couch in a slight state of shock. The Jamie she was with had never done something like that for her romantically, and here he is doing it platonically. Holy shit, he really has changed. 

Rebecca also doesn’t take the flowers to mean something they don’t. She knows that the team looks to her with the same respect they would afford an older sister or even a mother (although she is not old enough). Strangely, she doesn’t mind. It makes her feel loved in a way she’s unused to, and the flowers from Jamie hang upside down on her wall so they can be immortalized. 

Barely a week after that, he’s gotten some for Keeley. “It’s to make up for the ones I never got you,” he tells her. They’re all bright pink with fluffy petals. Keeley wraps her arms around Jamie with a squeal of delight. Roy grunts angrily, so Jamie pulls out a bunch of dark red and black flowers. “Didn’t leave you out, grandad,” he grins as Roy pretends to hate the bouquet. But even he isn’t cold-hearted enough to hate flowers.

Suddenly, people are getting flowers every other day. It’s become Jamie’s thing. Ted gets some sunflowers when he seems like he’s missing home a little extra. Will gets a bunch of sweet-smelling flowers that Jamie doesn’t know the name of, but he knows that purple one’s lavender because he remembers how you told him it reminded you of growing up. Dani gets a bundle of tulips and it almost makes him pass out from excitement, but luckily Isaac is there to catch him. 

Dani is firmly seated on the bench in the locker room and Jan Maas has removed all tulips except one, and now Isaac has the chance to turn to Jamie and ask the question that’s on everyone’s mind. 

“What gives, bruv?”

Those three words make Jamie turn bright red, but he shrugs it off with a laugh. 

“What, can’t get me best mates flowers?”

“It is a little better than the PS5s,” Richard says. There’s a chorus of agreement, much to the surprise of Coach Beard. 

Jamie thinks he’s in the clear and his face isn’t red anymore but then Dani says, “Jamie Tartt, why did you decide to give us flowers and not some other expensive gaming device?” and Jamie knows he’s completely and utterly fucked. He did not think this far. He has no excuse, no lie, so what comes out of his mouth is, “The flower shop girl’s fit,” and then the locker room completely descends into chaos. 

The boys are firing questions at Jamie faster than he can even understand them, and Ted’s just laughing at the pure pandemonium. He remembers similar moments when coaching other football teams, American ones, and the good feeling that comes along with “boys being boys,” in the way the phrase was originally intended. 

All pertinent information is successfully extracted from Jamie before the team heads home, except your name and which flower shop it is. Colin says that’s the most important bit, but Jamie refuses to tell them more than the fact that your laugh makes the sun shine brighter. Isaac nods thoughtfully and Roy shakes his head, but it’s with a fondness he reserves only for his team. 

It could be any shop, really. There are conversations across the parking lot of the best way to figure out which one it is and Jamie’s getting nervous when he hears Ted’s voice call his name.

He turns, and Ted hurries over to where Jamie’s car is parked. 

He carefully places a hand on Jamie’s shoulder (softly, unlike the crushing grip of his father) and looks Jamie straight in the eye. 

“Jamie, life’s too short to beat around the bush. You like her. I think it would be best if you rose to the occasion and just asked her out. I be-leaf in you, son. You just gotta get clover it and do what you gotta do.”

Jamie doesn’t pick on the flower puns until about the third one. He’s laughing a little bit and Ted is too, all while regarding Jamie with a soft look that Jamie always wished his father would give him. Ted pulls Jamie in for a hug and says, “In all seriousness man, we’re rooting for you.” 

Jamie gives him a look, which makes Ted hold up his hands in defense. “Alright, alright, I’m done,” he says. “For now.” Then he winks and headed to meet Coach Beard. 

—

It’s the middle of the afternoon when the bell on your door jingles, and you look up from the register hoping to see Jamie. 

Instead, you see a middle-aged man with a mustache smiling at you. 

He says, “Howdy,” in a way that is so very American, that you can’t help but break into a wide smile. 

“Hi!” you reply, “How can I help you?”

“My name’s Ted Lasso,” he says walking toward you. “I coach football here in Richmond.”

You’re still grinning. “I know who you are, Coach Lasso. I’m a big Richmond supporter. Have been since I was a kid.”

“Just Ted is fine,” says Just Ted. “I usually don’t like to introduce myself along with my job title because it makes me seem all uppity, but I thought it might make more sense if I did.”

You scrunch your nose in confusion so Ted says, “You were expecting to see Jamie today, is that right?”

You nod. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Jamie’s coach is in your flower shop and he knows that you like him and he’s probably going to tell you you can never see Jamie again because that’s the only logical reason he’s here, right? Maybe Jamie’s been skipping practice to be here with you and that all has to end now because football is life and you of all people should know that. Shit. 

Ted must be able to see the panic on your face because he shakes his head and says, “Don’t worry darlin’, it ain’t anything bad. I’m only here to let you know that boy’s got it down bad for you.”

Wait, what?

“Oh,” you reply. 

“Yeah, oh,” Ted chuckles. “Why’d you think he was here all the time?”

“I- I don’t know,” you say. “He flirts with everyone. I’m nothing extra special.”

Ted shakes his head again. “There’s where you’re wrong. You’re somethin’ extra special. Did you know I found you based on the way Jamie talked about you alone? He didn’t even give your name, but I’ve been in here once or twice myself and I must say, he was right when he said the sun shines a little brighter when you smile. I figured it had to be you the moment he said that.”

You’re smiling again. Jamie said that about you? To his coach?

Ted’s talking again. “Listen,” he says, a little more serious, “Jamie’s like a son to me. And sometimes dads need to give their sons a little push so they can get rid of their training wheels and just go for it, you know what I mean?” 

You’re at a loss but Ted just grins. “I got here exactly three minutes before the boys take a break for lunch, which means that Jamie should be in here-” the bell at the door jingles “-right about now.”

“Coach?” Jamie asks, looking very adorable and very confused. “What’re you doing here?”

Ted shrugs. “Sometimes dads gotta take things into their own hands. Give you a little extra boost, as it were. Figured you’d be in here forever before you got the guts to make a move and by then Nelson Road would be completely overrun by flowers. Not that that’s a bad thing,” he says with a glance to you. “Anyway. I’ll be on my merry little way. Beard’s saving me a seat at our favorite lunch spot.”

Ted waves a two finger goodbye and pats Jamie on the shoulder as he heads out the door, bell ringing behind him. 

“So,” you say, making your way around the counter over to Jamie. 

“So…” he replies, looking down at you. 

You take his hand. “Heard from a reliable source that you have a crush on me.”

Jamie grins. “Ain’t a crush babe, I’m a grown lad.  Think it’s somethin’ a little more real.”

“Uh huh,” you say, smiling back at him. “Well it just so happens that I also have a crush on you as well as a thirty-minute lunch break that starts right about now…”

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt #ted lasso

[brokestminimalist]

Minimal Pollution

Reducing your consumption of material things also reduces how much pollution that you as an individual produce, so this is kind of a built-in bonus of minimalism.  Still, it’s not enough to just assume that we’re doing the best we can do just by being minimalists.  We also must keep an eye on new and better ways to reduce how much waste we are producing and not just trash, although that’s a great place to start.  We also want to reduce our carbon emissions, the amount of chemicals we’re pouring down our drains, and even the noise and light we create.  This is a really big subject, so like other posts this one won’t be all-encompassing, but there are a few things we can talk about to get started.

TRASH

Did you know there’s a literal island made of trash in the ocean?  Fish and birds are dying from accidentally eating tiny bits of plastic?  This is a big, ugly problem.  If you disagree that this is a problem, we invite you to go ahead and carry on with your life as if nothing is happening, and in a few decades we’ll all be dead from starvation and global warming. Thanks in advance for ending civilization as we know it!

Um... anyway....

When you are out shopping, be it for food, clothes, electronics, or other stuffs, be mindful of how much packaging an item has.    If you have the choice of buying an item that isn’t wrapped in 50 layers of plastic and cardboard, get that one instead.  Buy loose apples or nuts instead of wrapped ones, buy a bouncy ball out of the bin instead of one that’s sealed up in cardboard just to keep it from rolling off the shelf.  Once you start paying attention you’ll be surprised how much unnecessary plastic a lot of items are wrapped in.

Also, when you get your items home, recycle as much as possible.  Put all the packaging in your recycling bin.  Rinse out cans, bottles and jugs and put them in your recycling bin.  Put junk mail in, and old newspapers, and any plastic items you may be decluttering that day (if they aren’t suitable for donation or the thrift store, of course). 

Finally, you can make an impact by striving to reuse as much as you can instead of throwing away disposable items.  Don’t use paper plates or plastic silverware every day to save time washing dishes; use your regular ones and wash them like a grownup.  Pay your kid to wash them, if you like.  Stop buying paper towels and use a rag system instead.  Stop printing things if you don’t have to; email is faster and saves paper.  Avoid individually packaged items like Keurig cups, single fruit cups, chips, etc.  Get a set of cloth grocery bags and don’t forget to bring them with you to the store!

WATER

Think twice about what you’re putting down your drain.  Yeah, sometimes we have to use chemicals, but sometimes we don’t. Everyone is already putting lots of soap down drains in the form of dish detergent or dishwasher packs, laundry detergent, soap and shampoo.  Those are relatively mild, but think of all the fabric softener, the bleaches, the degreasers, the makeup and hair dye and mop water that we’re putting into the ecosystem.   Think of the runoff from gas stations and mechanics that’s getting into the environment: gasoline, harsh cleaners, oil and antifreeze.

In some jurisdictions the water from your sink goes directly back to the treatment plant, but in others it’s drained all the way into local rivers.  The chemicals can damage plants and animals, alter ecosystems so that certain life forms can’t live there, and even cause problems in human beings who eat or drink from those sources.  Know anyone who likes to fish?  Find out how clean their favorite spots are.

We know you can’t avoid using chemicals all the time, but lean toward regular soap and hot water if you can for most things.  Vinegar and baking soda are great for cleaning a wide variety of things and are pretty harmless.  Scrub your floors with castile soap instead of Mr. Clean. Unclog sinks by plunging instead of using Drano.  Stick to regular dish and laundry soap, rather than pods or liquids.  Be creative, and research the products you do use.

PS, never flush plastics and never buy face scrubs that use plastic beads to clean your pores.  St. Ives uses crushed apricot pits, and it’s awesome for your skin!

PPS, never ever ever ever flush medicine down the toilet!  Never! 

AIR

It’s easy to create air pollution without realizing it.  Spray air fresheners, furnaces, car emissions, fire pits, and many other devices create air pollution.  Even the simple act of toasting bread creates air pollution if your electricity comes from a coal burning electric plant.  It’s so far removed from us, though, that we don’t realize it.  Quick, go turn off a light!

You can’t reduce your emissions entirely, but you can reduce them significantly.  Drive as little as possible; bike or walk to nearby locations and plan your routes carefully when you do drive.  Avoid aerosol air fresheners in favor of solid ones or use candles or oil warmers.  You’ll still have some stuff getting into the air, but it’ll be less and there’s no propellant.  Save your fire pit for special occasions.  If you use wood to heat your house, make sure you get properly seasoned firewood and build your fire properly to avoid slow, smoky fires.

Reduce your electricity usage so you’re not using so much coal.  In fact, reduce it even if you know your plant is nuclear or hydro or gerbils in a wheel.  See our post about it or hit Mr. Electricity’s website to learn more.  

LIGHT

This sounds minor, but in the developed world we have a serious insomnia epidemic.  We theorize that humans didn’t evolve to sleep for 8 hours; they evolved to sleep from sundown to sun up.  That’s a lot more sleep than most people get, and there’s a lot more fluctuation.  In winter you might sleep for 14 hours during darkness, but in summer only 8 or 9.  We also have a distinct lack of ability to view the Milky Way at night in most areas, and that’s a travesty.

We can’t prove it, but we think human mental health started going downhill with the advent of electric lights (and also the industrial revolution, but that’s another post).  So turn off your lights.  You’ll save electricity and you’ll sleep better.  Even the porch light you leave on for “security”, turn it off.  It isn’t helping anything, it’s just giving you the illusion of safety.  Turn out all your lights before leaving the house and before going to bed.  Use blackout curtains to keep out light from cars and street lights.

Also, if you get a chance, drive out to a remote area at midnight and watch the Milky Way for a while.  It’s an amazing experience that you won’t ever forget.

NOISE

Also seen by many as a minor problem, noise is contributing to stress and insomnia as much as light pollution.  From our house at night we can hear trains, we can hear cars going by, neighbors tv’s, and the fire station’s nightly test alarm.  (At least, we think that’s what it is.  Maybe our firemen are just dicks who like to wake people up at 2 AM.)

You can reduce the noise you make by turning shit down!  Turn down your tv, your stereo, your car radio.  Keep your central unit or furnace tuned up so they run quietly.  Your vehicle, too.  Teach your dog to stop barking.  If noise bothers you, consider moving to the country.  If you’ve ever lived there you’ll know the difference it makes.

CONCLUSION

You can make an impact by making an effort to reduce the amount of pollution you create.  You can’t save the world, but you can set an example for friends and family.  Teach good habits to your kids and their friends.  And if you’re really into it, go extreme: Trash Free!

#recycle