#RumpleAngst

[whumpingstiltskin]

Neverland

// Some Rumple angst on what he was emotionally going through //

Gold released a sigh and stopped walking as Henry's voice was heard. Having no desire to talk To the child, he would duck away into a batch of plants So Bae and Henry could speak in privacy. Dropping to his knees, the Imp reached into his coat pocket and removed the Doll Felix had dropped him four days ago. The doll was a clear sign that Pan knew why he's here. The Egg breakfast negotiation only confirmed it. Now as he stared distantly , listening to Henry and Baelfire chatter and unite, a soft smile etched his cheeks. It was a beautiful reunion to over hear.

He wished desperately his reunion with Baelfire had been like that instead of the harsh accusations that instead had been passed. As he sat there, black leather against forest green grass, and the sound of crickets just dominated the air, Gold closed his eyes to focus on what to do. His plan had been to die, But Baelfire had just begged him not to. That wasn't fair. Getting Henry and Bae safely to Killian's ship should be top priority, however, there are options to contain his father. He chewed his cheek. There back in storybrooke, safely hidden under the floorboards of his shop, Like the speed of the winds and tides his memory swirled across the oceans honing into storybrooke and into his shop. There was a box. A delicate box of Greek mythology. The journey that is Pandora's box itself was a nightmare and a half of restitute to be told. Demons, monsters, creatures of the dark, Soulless , endless, blinding-darkness and wretched air of death, misery and untold physical pain rested inside that box.

But did his father really deserve that? Despite everything he still really loves his father and was finding this situation far harder than it needed to be. Hatred should fuel his soul against the man that had him sent away and stole his youth in the process. Rumplestiltskin had come back no longer mentally a child but a mature man with grief the day the shadow dumped him. Emotionally he had understood his father's decision to no longer want him. "I was never meant to be a father" Gold's eyes fluttered open, dark amber hues focused intensely on the doll in his hand. "Peter Pan is never coming home" his still small childlike voice echoed through the walls of his mind, and he found himself once more wiping a tear.

"Being abandoned is what you're good at isn't it? Milah and even your father... and now its Baelfire's turn..." Gold buried his face in his palm. Pan's words biting into his shattered mental state. What on earth is wrong with him? He hasn't been this emotionally vulnerable... since Belle's "death" almost 31 years ago. Regina's words came to his mind "He was horrid to her. He had her locked in a tower. He SHUNNED her" "Oh Belle...." a whisper finally escaped his lips, could he handle this trip any longer? Baelfire's confrontation was admittedly deserved. But at the same time It still had hurt more than anything. His son's doubt in his concious decisions... is he still a good man anymore? Or has darkness pledged all of whom he is?

As he had said to Baelfire earlier... He doesn't deserve Love. he's never deserved it. Depravity began to sink in as his darker impulses began to root over his strained emotional fire currently consuming his soul. He could feel the dark one within pledging him to get up. "Survival is the only thing that matters." the thought echoed the surface of his mind once more, The dark one must live on as an agent for a force that has no other form of representation to a race that has a hard time believing in it. Magic needs the dark one to exist, to continue to feed on the desperate pleas of a simple creation called the human race across the realms of time and space.

"No" He harshly whispered, squeezing the hay doll in his hand before realizing it made the strands fall lose of some of its binds. He stared at its simple made form. Why had his father kept it all these years? Did he care? "Kill, kill , kill. Slay them all, " his brain was screaming at him "Pandora's box" a seductive whisper in the back of his brain chimed in as well in perfect coo. "Your father is not the problem, they are" "Enough" he whispered again aloud. before closing his eyes once to focus on his inner war. "Henry will murder you" "Henry's my grandson. I cant kill him. He should be my life and the center of my world. And he retreived my savior for me. My curse would not have been broken so I could Find Bae if it weren';t for that blessed child! He should be my world right now. Not me. Not magic. Not this. This whatever it is".

Memories flooded him once more of the long last year since Emma;s arrival. "Emmma what a lovely name...." all his memories Had come racing back to him in that single second, the Queen would be outraged if she knew the infant's name had been his fail safe trigger... then this boy. The boy, the boy, the Boy. Henry, Henry , Henry , Henry.

The seer's words "This boy will not be all he seems...." "Your undoing...." Baelfire's scream as he fell down the portal "PAPPA!" "BAE!" Gold threw the doll against the tree and clung to his head. He cant' deal. This was to much. Far to much. Belle... She keeps appearing here, where was her entity now?! Pandora's box.......Regina. He stood up. Get Bae and Henry to Killian's ship then yes stay behind and obtain Pan.

"Henry is my undoing because he needs to save him from my father and my father is my undoing more so than Henry is. Henry is simply the purehearted victim that would lead to my death and that's what you meant. Isnt it?" He breathed in his thoughts, sending mental daggers towards the memory of the stitch ridden seer who had Destroyed his life through a tiny Riddle. A Riddle he allowed himself to be played by.

Riddles are the root of all evil because they play the mind into thinking but don't give satisfaction of yes or no answer. The Definition of Insanity- doing something over and over again, hoping for a different result. That is exactly what this is. Insanity at its best and finest. Neverland is a death trap of nothing But riddles, washed dreams, and toys the disatisfaction of a thirsty soul. Truth is irrelevant when you can dream up your own truth. Fine lines, white lies.

Gold Got up once more and walked over to the doll. Picking it up as he once more exited the premises of his mind to listen to Baelfire and Henry chat. Such a joyful reunion. Killian's ship Top priority. His son and grandson imminent, anything else is obsolete. "Belle Im sorry but I am not worth you, please let me go. Let me go...." He thought as he parted the plants and stepped back onto the beaten path. "Bae, Henry..." He adjusted his cuffs "Not to make your conversation short but he has spies everywhere. There';s more than a hundred boys on this island loyal to his whim and tonight we are his enemy and the prey of his game. "

He motioned his head and turned his back to them once more, Moving onwards into the black jungle. Honing on the location of Killian's ship.

#RumpleAngst #Emotional #neverland #peter pan #Rumplestiltskin