#SORRY fkr so many rants

[stardustcleaningguy]

ok im back to rant abt more saverem twins autism things :P

in my last post (which if you havent seen, was me reblogging @dragons1re ‘s post about the plant powers as a metaphor for autism/autistic traits) i didnt really go into much detail about knives because i was a little too focussed in the fact there is another autistic vash truther out there .. but im gonna talk abt knives now.

like i said before i dont necessarily think that knives has enough control over his outbursts to really be completely proud of them, but also when you are the person known for having regular outbursts and are considered ‘dangerous’ or ‘weird’ by neurotypical society, it begins to become a part of how you view yourself as a person (or at least thats how it was for me as a kid - a lot of my autism hcs are based directly off my own experiences). i mean this in the way that once you have that impression established of you - that you are strange and offputting and scary - its very hard to overcome the perception of others and seem ‘normal’ and so you just kinda give up, and accept your role.

this is how knives’ behaviour appears to me, from an early age people have this perception that hes hard to deal with and has big outbursts of emotion which he struggles to control - and even when he DOES learn more ways to control it, he still refuses to mask because hes continuing to play into the general perception of him by neurotypical (aka human) society. he lets his emotions control him because he doesnt see any point in masking - i mean what would it change if he did try and act normal? the humans already know hes a dangerous monster freak right? i was only able to change from this mindset because my environment and the people around me changed but because of the magnitude of knives’ actions hes unable to do this - until the very end when he finds humans that dont just see him as a dangerous creature but an actual person who just wants safety for him and his brother (but then he gets appled so …)

also im not really saying that knives thinks of himself as a monster, he just knows that humans have that impression of him and instead of trying way too hard to appear normal like vash, he leans more into the role of ‘weird dangerous monster’. hes super scared of humans (the same way an autistic person may become fearful of neutotypical society because of the way they have been treated within it) so thats another reason why he has this whole im super dangerous and evil thing going on even though he spends most of his time napping. top 10 people comitted to the bit

idk this rant MIGHT have gotten a little too tangent-y and i MIGHT be projecting onto knives just a teensy little bit but it was fun to write so wuteva !!!!!!!! (also all of this is specifically discussing trigun maximum - i luuuuv maximum)

#autistic saverem twins truthers if your out there … #this was mainly just to get things outta my system bc i was thinking abt this all night #SORRY fkr so many rants #trigun #trigun maximum #millions knives

[dannylharle]

........,,,,

#it like. #baffles me that my parents dont like suspect soemthing is up #like i go to bed every night without dinner ay 7 pm? #i come home from work and dont do anything? #ive lived at home for four months and my!! depression is worse thn ever like its debilitating #and i cant believe this is like. what my parents want for me. for me to live at home forever in this shitty minimum wage job? #they never ask like what are tou doing. are you appling fkr jobs? #literally nothing #so when i.... suddenly get a job and move away theyll be confused #and maybe it wont happen #like i am #not actually applying to that many jobs bc during the day i feel...... too sad to do anything #ugh sorry for the rant but i am just #depressed and gaining weight and unproductive and ready to! move away forever!