#The NF Idyllic (ENFP

[typologycentral]

[INFJ] Do you reveal your INFJ type to others? Why or why not?

I've personally only ever told one person about being an INFJ. Do you guys ever expose your type and the characteristics of your type? (Whether the person knows MBTI or not.) I felt comfortable/trusted the person I told but I felt telling other people would put me at risk of having my INFJ gifts/features used against me or of having people be weirded out by me knowing things about them they've never told me. I figure people would either think it's cool that I'm so unique or be slightly envious of my rareness and abilities. (Secretly of course) It is after all the reason behind why I want to change/save the world, my interest in profound depth, my intuitiveness/people reading, my highly creative and artistic mind, my love for humanity/philosophy, and my empathetic viewpoint on things. I just prefer it to be kept to myself. That's the best part about being anonymous and having a community such as this where I can be accepted and cherished. (Maybe I'm just to private in general. Another INFJ trait.) How about you guys? Which people in your life (if any) know about your type? How comfortable are you with having other people know? https://www.typologycentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=98357&goto=newpost&utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

#The NF Idyllic (ENFP #INFP #ENFJ #INFJ)

[typologycentral]

[INFP] INFP, Fi, and a lack of "common" compassion?

As an INFP, from the descrptions I've read, we are one of the most compassionate types. However, in my view, I believe our compassion mainly manifests as "sympathy" rather than "empathy." People often confuse them, but they actually have very different meanings. I believe it's harder for us to feel "empathy" due to our primary function being Fi, and I would like to use something that happened recently in my own life to demonstrate how INFPs tend to be more sympathetic than empathetic: A female friend from Indonesia (I met when traveling there a few years ago) recently messaged me and asked me for 100 dollars, telling me that her father's gravely ill in the hospital. Now, from what I know about her father, he was an abusive and neglectful jerk that never cared about his daughter and his wife, he drank, cheated, gambled, and even left Christianity (both my friend and I are Christians) for Islam because he wanted a job promotion and needed to appease his superiors in the department he wanted to join. To me, such a man is not deserving of love on two levels: 1. He mistreated his very own family 2. He betrayed his faith (though I'm not a Bible thumper, my Christian faith means a lot to me as part of my personal values). Her parents divorced when she was a kid, and his father's mistress became his second wife (good for him, my friend told me that now he's ill, she wants nothing to do with him). My own father was similar to him in many ways, and I have no respect for him whatsoever. My parents divorced when I was 7, and I've never been close to him since. In 2016 there was a period where I decided to give him another chance because I'm already an adult, and I wanted to get to know him as an equal. Things went well for a while, but then he revealed himself to be that same arrogant yet weak, foolish, and domineering man I had always known him to be. We became estranged (and I had every intention of making it permanent) because I was so disappointed in him, I thought I could trust him, confide in him, that we shared similar values, but it turns out we don't. When he came to the place I'm living on my birthday last year, I didn't let him enter the door. I told him to "piss off", and I actually used these words. Back to my friend. My Fi immediately began assessing her situation, and I frankly told her that her father, considering how terrible of a man he was to her in the past, is not worthy of her help and compassion. I didn't want to assist not because I wanted to be selfish and stingy, but because I deemed her father to not be worthy of help, and how I would have left him there if he were my own father. So, I explained my point-of-view to her, but she said that she didn't want to be perceived as a terrible daughter, the despite the fact that her father's a terrible man, she didn't want to see him suffer. Eventually, seeing how distressed and sad she was, I decided to give her that bit of financial assistance for her father's hospital fees. However, I still told her that I only did it because I wanted to make her happier, that her father's a terrible man, and whether he lives or dies is up to fate. Nevertheless, she was very grateful towards me and I'm happy that she's doing a bit better now. I helped her and stayed with her through her entire ordeal, out of a sense of care and loyalty, but I felt absolutely zero compassion for that wreck of a man, and I always found it difficult to comprehend how she could feel love and compassion towards him. To be honest, when she said that part of it was because she didn't want society to perceive her as a bad daughter, I even felt quite irritated (though I didn't let her know) because it's hard for me to understand how people can be so attached to cultural / societal "norms" without question. As an INFP with dominant Fi, I could definitely feel for her from the perspective of her being unhappy over this, and her being my good friend, but I certainly could not feel for her from a perspective of "common" compassion / empathy, which is more Fe. In this case, I totally extrapolated my own values onto her. However, I've never questioned whether I could have responded in a more "Fe" manner, because that's just not me. I believe that we don't owe love, care, and respect to each other out of any "norm" or "convention" or the other person's rank / position / status / seniority, it must all be earned and judged based on no other than how well their character and their values correspond to a highly internal moral framework. I tend to make judgments on whether I like / dislike someone or something, and I admit I'm often guilty of not giving enough benefit of doubt. While I appear very quiet on the surface, deep down I am running many emotional "algorithms" to determine whether that particular person / group / situation is compatible with me. If I have determined that I should adopt an attitude of contempt for someone or something, it is extremely difficult, if not impossible for me to change my view. Fellow INFPs (ad other NFs), how do you feel about this? How would you respond if you were in her shoes, and in mine? Do you think INFPs have trouble understanding perspectives and problems when they can't see how it fits into their Fi "mold"? https://www.typologycentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=95626&goto=newpost&utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

#The NF Idyllic (ENFP #INFP #ENFJ #INFJ)

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[INFJ] Life of an Contradicting/Enigmatic INFJ?

Why is it that us INFJ's are simultaneously juggling the life of a muse and an underdog at the same time? People are either overtly inspired by us or overlook our capabilities. It seems like there's no in between regarding the general public's view on us. Feels like hopping on and off of a pedestal and fading into an abyss when involved with social logistics. Also is it just me or that we are susceptible to becoming gimmicks whenever we impress people? Like we give off an intense, mysterious vibe from our introvert intuition function. Therefore people are generally intimidated by us and perceive us as this forbidden fruit that shouldn't be tampered with but can viewed all day; referring to the fact that we aren't exactly considered the life of the party from a social standpoint but people look up to us as an inspiration. Worst and best thing to realize is that being a gimmick also means people being amused by our abilities can sometimes derive from the fact that they pitied us from an earlier impression. We may not be the most glamorous on the surface, but we sure do have a hell load of substance. We wanna be taken seriously but we also feel the need to prove others wrong, including ourselves; it's what we do best. https://www.typologycentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=96890&goto=newpost&utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

#The NF Idyllic (ENFP #INFP #ENFJ #INFJ)

[typologycentral]

[INFJ] INFJ Mask(s)

Any of my fellow INFJ's who have created 'masks' to blend in with their respective environment? I notice I have two primary masks that I put on to survive social situations; that being my ENFJ and ISFP mask. I wear my ENFJ mask for when I have to take charge as a leader and/or lead people in the right direction within a public setting. My ISFP mask is worn for when I initiate small talk with other sensor types or when just simply letting myself have fun at a party/social event. https://www.typologycentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=96888&goto=newpost&utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

#The NF Idyllic (ENFP #INFP #ENFJ #INFJ)

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[NF] NF's Typically Attracted to Acting/Theatre/Performing Arts?

For those of you involved in a high school theatre program or any performing arts facility in general, notice that NF's usually comprise the environment? Most notably ENFP's in theatre especially, with a handful of the other NF types here and there; at least at my school. Could it be that performing is something that NF's resonate with because of the emotional outlet that comes with it? I've always turned to performing arts (music and acting) as a therapy bubble because it allowed me to showcase the burning passion inside of me that people usually don't see from the surface. I feel alive when performing. What about the rest of y'all? https://www.typologycentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=96887&goto=newpost&utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

#The NF Idyllic (ENFP #INFP #ENFJ #INFJ)

[typologycentral]

[INFJ] My Article - 3 Types Of INFJs

Hello all. I wrote an article on 3 different types of INFJs I see in society. Can you please tell me if you resonate with any of this and your thoughts and opinions on it. (Of course in a kindly, friendly, way please.) :blush: Different Types Of INFJs According to my understanding, all introverts are subjective characters and the attitude of the auxiliary function always depends on the dominant function. So for the INFJ, Extraverted Feeling, (Fe), will not present itself like it would in an ENFJ but it is rather used more subjectively. Fe in INFJs will wrap around Introverted Intuition, (Ni), their dominant function, to support it. In my mind, Introverted Intuition is the function most dealing with the psyche of humanity. I thought it was important to point that out so that readers can remain aware of that as they read through this article. 1.The Psychologist - INFJs leading function, Introverted Intuition, Ni, allows them to passively read into the psyche of others and naturally makes them interested in human behavior. If you couple this with Extraverted Feeling, (Ni+Fe), this makes INFJs sometimes interested in seeking out to pick the minds of others' apart in attempt to help them up out of ruts. This makes the INFJ a natural psychologist and perhaps, therapist. The INFJ is good at listening to others' problems and prefers to do so without personal judgement. (I.E.. "This person is evil, this person is nasty, ..etc.) Psychologists will even encourage others to vent out their feelings and they have a natural ability to make others feel so at ease that they can tell the Psychologist their secrets. They don't believe in shaming people in public, especially if their true nature is that they automatically understand the psychological makeup of humanity. When Ni+Fe is used in a healthy manner, these types of INFJs are more than likely great at keeping secrets and whoever vents to them has nothing to worry about as far as their secrets leaking out to the public, goes. These types of INFJs have a natural understanding of the psychological makeup of humanity, including their own psyche and this makes them laid back from personal judgments of others. This isn't to say that these INFJs have no opinions because they definitely do but these are kept to themselves for the sake of understanding the psyche of human nature and catering to individuals so they don't feel judged. (Ni/Fe/Ti) Although I nicknamed this type of INFJ 'The Psychologist" this does not mean that if you are this type of INFJ, you pursued a career in psychology. It just means in everyday life, you pick up on others' psychological nature and the general nature of society and go about things, accordingly. Generally, this type of INFJ describes the combination of others' psychological nature and extraverted feeling tones as a "vibe" from others. For example: Someone will go up to the INFJ and ask, "We're you going to drink this Coke?" The INFJ will get the "vibe" that this person asked because they are thirsty and would like to drink the coke, even though the person didn't flat out ask. This is the INFJ's keen awareness of the way human behavior and generally, natural things in life works, even if they've never consciously studied human behavior or other happenings in life, in such a manner where they should know. So, the INFJ says, "Nope. Do you want it?" -- Catering to the others' desire to drink the coke. This is the way Fe caters to Ni in a very normal way in society. Another example is this: I consider myself to be a "weather geek" meaning I love thunderstorms, rain, snow, and etc. I've been telling my mother for years that Mammatus Clouds indicate severe weather. I don't have an education in Meteorology nor have I consciously studied topics on weather to have known this but I somehow got it right. In such a case, due to the fact I go out and look at storms with my eyes, I wasn't aware of the patterns of the weather I was picking up..but clearly, this was/is the case and is generally how Ni/Se works. These types of INFJs probably find themselves a little frustrated at society because there's so much judgment and not enough understanding of what is going on beneath the surface. Psychologists can also probably give you the run down of society as a whole and where they are headed. Everyone has this side to them but INFJs go through life, constantly picking up such psychological ques from you, society and natural occurrences around them. Of course, this is due to unconscious Extraverted Sensation, (Se) and other unconscious functions coming together to aide Ni. 2. The Mystical Artist - These types of INFJs are the quietest because they seek to express their Introverted Intuitive perception through art such as painting, sculpting, writing, singing, and etc. To further explain, INFJs are constantly picking up ques from nature, the atmosphere and their overall surroundings in a passive manner via unconscious Extraverted Sensing, (Se.) This could produce a weird perception of reality for this type of INFJ, which is obviously hard to explain. This type of INFJ, is similar to the the ISFJ- Artist in that they will seek to express these weird perceptions through Extraverted Sensation. The ISFJ gets impressions and is impacted by people, places, and things but this type of INFJ goes through life in a sort of disassociated manner, which produces a dream-like reality for them. (If I had to compare this with a psychiatric disorder, I'd say Depersonalization and Derealization.) These types of INFJs may describe things such as the atmosphere in the city, room, or general universe is changing and then they seek to fix themselves or their surroundings according to how they are perceiving these "energies." Introverted Sensation is guided by items surrounding it but for this type of Introverted Intuitive, it seems as though there is truly nothing to go on and that is the difference. Mystic Artists may call them "energies" which is part of Ni symbolism and metaphor but often, this type of INFJ doesn't realize what is going on within their psyche unless they begin to study psychology. What's going on is that they are unconsciously interpreting their (Se) surroundings and the unconscious is bringing it together in such a way that by the time it reaches consciousness, it is distorted. If this INFJ were to describe these things, he or she would come across as a lunatic the same way the ISFJ-Artist would, trying to describe one's impressions of a hair brush. So, this type of INFJ is better off to try to project his or her psychological perceptions of reality into music, sculpture, poetry, or anything else artistic they can to express themselves. This type of INFJ appears as the most removed, fickle and unpredictable to outsiders because they are literally guided by their Introverted Intuitive perception of reality and change with the psychological energies that seem to present themselves to this type. Overall, it is no telling how this type of INFJ would use Fe as it would become extremely dependent on one's dominant function, (Ni), thus making them similar to the IEI-Ni subtype in Socionics. One could only hope or guess that others are perceiving life the way the Mystic Artist does, through his or her art. More than likely though, this isn't the case..because it is too subjective to ever tell. It is wise not to assume that everyone who paints is an SP type as ISFJ and INFJs and even perhaps, INTJs with a Ni subtype pick up this ability as well. 3. The Spiritualist - Sure, Introverted Intuition isn't a 'spiritual' function but you can gather that INFJs and INTJs will be more than likely the types to lean towards living a spiritualist kind of life. By the term, spiritual, I mean as far as paying attention to things one can't verify through the 5 senses. It's obvious how this is used in the normal sense to pick up on ques but no one ever seems to dive deep into how deep the psychological nature of Ni users, goes or how far it can go. The Spiritualist is the INFJ who dives into such metaphysical studies such as channeling for instant answers, spirit guides, tarot cards, astrology, (Which can also be given to INTJ because Astrology is a psycho-intuitive process, the measurement of time.. and it gives predictions of future events.) prophetic dreams, and etc. This isn't to say tarot cards, metaphysics, or etc is Ni in and of itself but the way these materials are used and what for, is what makes it Introverted Intuition, (Ni.) For those who prefer a more concrete explanation for this: a lot of psychologists would say all of these things are the subconscious at work and only reflect our own psyche back to us. For this reason, one might say some usefulness could come out of all of the metaphysical and esoteric stuff because one gets to know their subconscious on a deeper level, while others suggest these things are actually working the way they are presented. I will save the argument because there really is no way to know, although, often times the Spiritual Teacher feels as though they do know. Yet this isn't a rational feeling but an irrational feeling, stimulated by Introverted Intuition. (Ni) The Spiritual Teacher has a habit of perceiving information, (insight via Ni by any means), and trying to apply it to their lives and may try to use it to help others' lives. They will have insights about life with no prior experience and will come up with teachings to help others how they see fit. This doesn't mean they have to be good according others as if they are unhealthy, they can lead others in what society would deem a universally bad way. They often can be seen as prophets or channelers of higher spirits and come bearing a message from what they claim to be higher beings, whether false prophets or true prophets. The nature of Ni is that one will never be able to tell, even if the prophecy did appear to come true. (Jung used John The Baptist as an example of this character.) Contrary to popular belief, you still find these types of INFJs in society and you can especially look on Youtube and find them. These types are sometimes considered old souls, wise beyond their years, and odd among the concrete normal, concrete dominated society, aka regular folks. They live life based on what they deem the meaning of it, which they reach through insights, although they cannot explain how they got those insights.This is what separates these insights from Universal or Objective Thinking, Extaverted Thinking, (Te) and Theosophy. It isn't like someone who sat around pondering the meaning of life but rather one who just woke up knowing the meaning of life, if you will. To the spiritual teacher, it is as easy as knowing the color of your skin and they will insist that "they don't know how they know, they just know" which might drive a reasonable mind, insane. These types of INFJs are also more likely to be teachers of certain philosophy for the betterment of others. Please keep in mind that although I wrote abut 3 specific types of INFJs, if you are an INFJ, you may relate to 1, 2, or all 3 of these. :) Inferior Extraverted Sensation In all 3 types of INFJs, there is inferior Extraverted Sensation, (Se), which rears its ugly head pretty much the same in all of them. For example, what is to be considered normal type of INFJ - The Psychologist, becomes overwhelmed and will seek to withdrawal from society. They may overindulge on food, become compulsive, impulsive, and impatient with others, until they finally collapse. The Mystic Artist may be at risk of losing touch with reality without a sufficient way to express, while compulsively continuing to indulge in sensory pleasures and becoming more judgmental of life, in general. The Spiritual Teacher may begin to become irritated with society and others who lead "normal and concrete" lives, overly depend on channeling spirits, getting insights and reading too deep into them and teaching others information that they themselves even only partially understand. They may also be at risk of becoming obsessed with a specific prophecy or theory of impending apocalyptic doom. In general INFJs are not out of touch with emotions. In fact, they can be in touch with their personal emotions but they often try to pin these down if they are catering to others. However, if they need to vent, they will want to and during times of stress, they will have outbursts that are sometimes, not pretty. When I say, "under stress" I don't mean only when they get burnt out but also when they get irritated or impatient with others. They are more likely be become hysterical. (Fe/Ti). I wrote an article about this, already but the best way to deal with Inferior Se is to change one's surroundings. Go out and be in nature, play a sport, exercise, ride bikes, or try rearranging the furniture in your house. Remember, your dominant function is truly orientated by your surroundings via your inferior, so this, (Se), will also be a key to resolving the issue. This blog was one telling of the different types of INFJs in society based on my own comprehension of the functions, described by Jung, my understanding of how they work together, and my observations of these types I see in society. (As well as myself.) I understand this entire thing is a theory and please know that I'm aware my blog posts are not the end all be all. If it resonates with you and makes sense to you, that is great. If not, you may chime in and correct me where you disagree... just make sure you are nice about it and there will be no issues. http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=93530&goto=newpost&utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

#The NF Idyllic (ENFP #INFP #ENFJ #INFJ)

[typologycentral]

[Fi] Bloody Fi purge! Your inferior cousin needs some dominant and auxiliary guidance.

To preface: I love you XNFPs and unbeknownst to me, always have. For one, it's been edifying and validating to see some of my all-time favorite humans (writers, musicians, actors, thinkers, etc...) being typed as XNFP. Even before learning about typology and gaining a deeper understanding of Jungian cognitive functions, I was actively working on (what I now know to be) Fi development because a lack of it had reaped much unnecessary hardship onto my life. Therefore, I think that conscientious journey led me to people that embodied their Fi with vigor and authenticity and helped me get in touch with my own, for which I am eternally grateful. And now on to the issue at hand (this is a long read but I'm trying to give relatively detailed information that might help you to help me): For a little under a decade, since high school, I've had an on and off, pseudo-platonic, quasi-romantic, eternal soulmate, occasional f-buddy relationship with this ebullient, effervescent, deeply insightful, dreamy eyed, pixie warrior priestess (INFP) that, in my relatively short life, has always stood a mile apart from the "Gone Girl/Cersei Lannister/Elle Driver/Cookie Lyon/Harley Quinn/Akasha, Queen of the Damned" fare I've usually attracted [strike]...and been equally attracted to[/strike]. Our first interaction was a classroom debate turned bloodstained duel to the death over the ethics of eating animals (I swear on the atom, this is not a utilization of an NFP stereotype lol). Something clicked (energy + angst + lust + social isolation + troubled pasts), and from there, this happened > I'd never before intimately known someone who had the chasm of incongruously layered emotionality she possessed--ostensibly she experienced feelings in a plethora of shades from eggshell, hunter green, and cobalt blue to neon yellow and not only that, could verbalize them as such. Meanwhile, I only had ready access to basic black, white, red (all degrees of rage), grey, and at my best, a metallic gold. Though wholly confounding, maddening and taxing to me, I had never felt more woke and unchained and set free. It was intoxicating to experience a wider array, a more diverse palette of feelings. I obviously never reached her depths, patterns and colors, but even experiencing a trifle more than I was previously accustomed to felt like a massive, tectonic plate moving, internal shift. She saw me shed an actual, solitary tear once under extreme duress but in better times, just by staring into my eyes and smiling on a whim she could easily make me mist up with soul purifying relief, which was a gargantuan, almost incomprehensible feat for lesser mortals and I truly honestly never before felt so connected to someone on a level that was nigh impossible to articulate in a rational way. And particularly when she was sad and grieving (probably because of me), which often left me feeling inadequate because I was too emotionally dumb and powerless to effectively help--which, in and of itself, beset me with very real, very potent, personal "trigger" landmines. Especially back then, I neither spoke of nor experienced emotions with great affect. I understood them cognitively and intellectually, but to actually engage them with my "heart" felt like a blind man wading neck-deep in cement. My take on our biggest, most immediate problem aside from all the other reasons this union was likely to fail? We just spoke completely different cognitive "languages (Ni vs Si? Dom Fi vs Inferior Fi? Dom Te vs. Inferior Te?)" that always created endless communication gaffs, roadblocks and nuclear disasters. For example: Pixie: "Did I see you at Starbucks earlier today with Cersei f%#king Lannister when you were supposed to be at a study group?" Me: "That was the study group." Pixie: *heart imploding with the force of a billion suns* "Why didn't you tell me that?" Me: *blistering dispassion with a hint of exasperated bemusement* "Look, our past relationship is just that, in the past. You have nothing to feel insecure about. It was harmless, only work. You know I love you." Pixie: "That's not what I asked you! Stop lying and trying to hide and sugarcoat things! You know I hate that brother f%#king bitch! Why didn't you tell me you were going to see her? Me: *voice box shredding like the Hulk's Capri pants* "Because that was fucking irrelevant. She was put in a group with me! Her strategy to double-cross Dany and Jon will fall to shit, for Christ sakes. Are you happy now? You always focus on the wrong thing!" She always wanted to know the exact details behind what actually happened in a very direct, matter of fact way (perhaps to refine the many possibilities she generated for why I would withhold supposedly important information from her), whereas I always instinctively and immediately went to why I did something or the "why" concerning the underlying problem, because the "why," the deeper meaning (should and theoretically, in my mind) supersedes anything else, and especially when problem solving and coming up with a viable solution imo. Ultimately, it just didn't work. Idiotically yet idealistically, we wouldn't let that stop us. We broke up and got back together a few times before deciding that we were better off as this nebulous, ill defined glob of corrupted love and unresolved daddy/mommy abandonment issues that maybe one day might actually not fall apart at the seams just as it's getting good again. The whole idea and its subsequent execution was dysfunctional, unhealthy, ridiculous and plain ol stupid, but I gather this was us trying to be intense, brooding and deep. Dunno exactly. We'd go on to see other people and sometimes, in between relationships, link up again. Usually we couldn't reach a year and a half before we wound up back in the other's arms/bed. Moving on. She experienced a tragedy (by her standards) about 3 years ago while I was literally on the opposite side of the planet and whereas I would've normally come flying to her aid with an S on my chest, I made the conscious choice not to. Already enduring my ascent to power (lol) being stifled because of my brokedown Fi usage as it pertains to my burgeoning career, I resented yet another unwieldy force (Pixie) possessing that type of influence over me as well; I defiantly chose self-interest above anyone or anything else (like I'm instinctively wont to do, right or wrong, good or bad). She kept trying to reach me to the point of flooding all of our communication channels with emotional spam (from childish antics to vile, unforgivable diatribes). After a while, I felt bad, decided to reach out to her but was ignored for 2.5 years straight. That had never happened before--it broke our unspoken rule, which devastated me more than I realized. I grieved (rather poorly by over-utilizing Se), but eventually tucked it away, moved on and focused on work. I figured we were never meant to be anyway but that I would still love her (from afar) and wish her the best regardless. Lo and behold, she called me last night out of nowhere, drunkenly seeping concentrated pain, spewing regret, betrayal, rejection, abandonment, hatred and then love for me. She says, through tears, that she's still in love with me and wants to know if there's any chance for an "us." I felt terrible and thoroughly confused. I tried to listen and be supportive (my Te is completely inept at properly addressing/handling others' intense feelings)--I just don't naturally "speak" emotions in an unforced, compassionate, empathetic, organic manner. I'm better than I used to be but I was blindsided, taken aback and don't think I did much good. Honestly, I don't need or want this in my life right now; I'm so engrossed in my work and achieving my goals and going by what she was saying over the phone, she's still stuck in past patterns of dysfunction. I don't want that anymore. But I truly do care for her and want her to be well and happy--just not with me and not right now, at least. I hate that she is suffering but I don't know what, if anything, I should/could do to remedy this. And now, finally, here are my questions to you smart, capable, helpful people*/**: 1. When you are expressing your feelings (whether "good" or "bad"), what is the best way to respond to this that will make you feel heard, understood and validated? 2. When overcome with negative feelings that seem too powerful and unrelenting, how do you self-soothe (using safe + legal methods)? 3. Is there anyway I can speak my truth and tell her honestly where I'm at and what I want at this point in my life without further hurting her? Should I do it regardless or is it better to wait for when she's more stable? 4. Tangent, now that I have you > How do you know what you value? (Is that a stupid question? lol) I think I know what I value ("money-power-respect," knowledge, meaning/substance, fairness, justice, individuality) but it can be hard to finesse on the spot (when asked) and not come off as crude and unrefined. Do you spend a lot of time going over in your mind what is meaningful and significant to you, or do you just know somehow? (like how I seemingly "know" and intuit stuff via introverted intuition) To those who made it all the way to the end, thank you. I would really really really really appreciate some help. I have very few people in my life I trust to give me strong emotions related advice and none of them are XNFPs. Their emotions are just as trash and poorly developed as mine are. lol *Obviously, there are a multitude of ways that people respond to these things that exclude type but I'm looking for any and all variations, particularly from XNFPs and anyone else who can provide insight. **And I will shamelessly bump this thread until I obtain the breadth of insight I seek. :shrug: https://www.typologycentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=93755&goto=newpost&utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

#The NF Idyllic (ENFP #INFP #ENFJ #INFJ)

[typologycentral]

[INFP] INFPs, have people ever said you were "out of touch with your emotions"?

When I was a little girl of sixteen, a professor was doing "let's all introduce ourselves" and asking people "and how are you feeling right now?" When he asked me, I didn't know, because frankly I didn't really see anything to be feeling any one way or another about, and I simply had no answer. So I said, "I don't know." He said ironically, "Well, you're very in touch with your emotions," or something to that effect. While I hadn't really received comments like that regularly, that was a pretty regular frame of mind for me to be in. It's not that I didn't feel anything; it's just that I didn't go around thinking about it. I wouldn't agree with his suggestion that I was out of touch with my emotions, though. I just didn't think in terms of how I felt at any given moment, in general. However, in retrospect, and also upon reflection of more recent and current self-observation, I think I'm driven much more by how I feel about things than not. On tests that ask things like, "Do you base your decisions more on feelings or logic?" -- honestly, feelings are often the logical thing to base decisions on. I mean, do you say, "Well, it's logical to go to Boring Ass Movie because it's cheaper and it's playing at a closer theatre? Or do you say, "Let's go see Awesome Movie even though it's a longer drive and more expensive?" The logical thing to do is either to see the movie you're feeling excited about and interested in, or just stay in or do something else. It would be totally illogical to go see the movie that you think sucks. My point is, can you be an INFP and not be hyperaware of how you "feel" all the time? What do you think? Just because you're not thinking, "I feel a pale pastel peach shade of ennui right now" or "I feel slightly exuberant with a dash of apprehension," and things like that constantly, it doesn't mean that you're not pretty much fully 100% driven by feelings and values, rather than "well, it just makes sense, logically." I'm pretty sure I am, actually. http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=93389&goto=newpost&utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

#The NF Idyllic (ENFP #INFP #ENFJ #INFJ)

[typologycentral]

[Jungian Cognitive Functions] Comparing a socially introverted ENFP with an INFJ

Pretty self-explanatory, but more specifically, let's compare the presentation of functions. For simplicity's sake, let's say the ENFP is 4w5 and considered socially introverted (not to be confused with the direction of preferred function use.) If you can't logically separate function direction and social introversion/extroversion, please don't contribute as it will muddy the accuracy. http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=92441&goto=newpost&utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

#The NF Idyllic (ENFP #INFP #ENFJ #INFJ)

[typologycentral]

[ENFJ] hitting a wall

I start saying facts, like " I accept you more than I accept myself" and then I realized how terrible that sounds. The whole world is a beautiful mess full of accidents and individuality. and I am like putty. I do not want to hurt anyone or anything. I am recently single, unemployed. I am trying to find happiness despite no signs of success. Success is all I judge myself by, and for awhile it was heterosexual long term relationships. Now I stand, pansexual of sorts and taking in the world. I have no wall to protect me from bad people, I assume the best in all. I love myself, but all of this flexibility just makes me want to squish myself for anyone bolder. I accept you because you exist in this world and if you think it then it's significant. This martyrdom is beautifully painful and I'm at a crossroads. I am alone. I am varying degrees of lonely. When an ENFJ rants is it just blah blah blah, these issues are anything but tangible? I have the hardest time asking for help.... I thought about suicide last weekend when I got called a faggot. What's the point if I have to fight way through this world? If I have to hurt people? I found the ENFJ type and it helped me see why I'm like this, but it doesn't comfort. INTPs comfort me too much and I get like, obsessive. INFPs help but only superficially and then I get need more support in a couple of days which makes me feel like a burden. So I need someone to reassure me that I'm okay... I need to protect myself from bad people even it's hard to turn them down... I need people.... but, in what order? Being alone is so painful, but if I look for people then people hurt me... http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/the-nf-idyllic-enfp-infp-enfj-infj-/90816-hitting-wall-new-post.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

#The NF Idyllic (ENFP #INFP #ENFJ #INFJ)

[typologycentral]

[INFP] Do people like you?

I have some close friends, but for the majority of my life I’ve found that people either really like me or really hate me. The hate seems to stem from a few areas, but the two main ones are a conflict in values or their inability to read what I’m feeling or thinking causing an amount of fear. The values one is interesting because it’s an area in my life where I can be extremely vocal and am willing to use that voice to defend my beliefs, which can often come at the expense of someone else. That’s usually very specific. More broadly, I am tough to read. It’s on purpose and is certainly a defense mechanism I’ve developed over time. I think it leaves people feeling frustrated and I might not always know exactly who I’m leaving frustrated or angry, it could be someone I’m interacting with or someone watching. It becomes a fear of the unknown and that’s a strong fear. I wonder if other INFPs have had similar experiences? It could be from other factors, but are you polarizing? Do people like you or do you feel like there is s pretty big group that might not? https://www.typologycentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=98538&goto=newpost&utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

#The NF Idyllic (ENFP #INFP #ENFJ #INFJ)

[typologycentral]

[ENFP] Procrastination

So I came across this video and it totally reminded me of me in older times. I basically used to function this way; having a rational decision maker in my head, but it was totally overrun by my instant gratification monkey. It was hard or even impossible to sit down and actually do what I needed to do - expect for the ~really~ important stuff. Everything that wasn't neccessary to make me stay alive, sometimes even what was necessary, I tended not to do until it was too late. I just thought I need to share this video with you because it just screams ENFP and is indredibly hilarious. I think it's also an interesting video because it shows Ne+Fis influence (instant gratification monkey+panic monster) on an ENFP, when Te (rational decision maker) isn't integrated. Also Ne's hilarious way thinking becomes easier to understand through this vid: "Are we clear, on what we just accepted here? We need to sit down on this right now." "Totally agree but also let's just open Google earth and let's zoom to the bottom of india and we're gonna scroll up for 2 1/2 half hours, so we can get a better feel for India." http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/the-nf-idyllic-enfp-infp-enfj-infj-/90621-procrastination-new-post.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

#The NF Idyllic (ENFP #INFP #ENFJ #INFJ)

[typologycentral]

[INFJ] Problems with inferior SE

So, most of the time I find I have a remarkable amount of self control and ability to stick to goal based routines. But the more I do this I find I am prone to occasional explosions which are basically the need for sensory stimulation. A lot of the time this includes terrible decisions, like binge drinking or eating or willingly getting myself involved with questionable (untrustworthy, although interesting) people. Today I was thinking about devising healthier ways to integrate chaos into my life, but I need help brainstorming on this issue. Has anyone else experienced something similar and how did you deal with it? http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/the-nf-idyllic-enfp-infp-enfj-infj-/90559-inferior-se-new-post.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

#The NF Idyllic (ENFP #INFP #ENFJ #INFJ)

[typologycentral]

[ENFP] Have you ever experienced BPD?

And your BPD makes you two different person? One is serious and the other one very happy like you're on drugs? And then, has this happened to you? Someone liked you on your serious state, but when he seen the high energy state he's got turned off? XD http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/the-nf-idyllic-enfp-infp-enfj-infj-/90217-experienced-bpd-new-post.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

#The NF Idyllic (ENFP #INFP #ENFJ #INFJ)

[typologycentral]

[INFP] INFP and ENFP friendship

I noticed that lately, ENFP friend's kind of using me. Being the social butterfly that she is, she has many other friends. But when this boy shows up (I was close friends with him), she suddenly wants to talk to me. And that RARELY EVER HAPPENS. I've fully accepted that I'm a boring person and she doesn't hang out with me for more than 30 mins. But then whenever this boy's around, she can stand to be with me for 5 hours. I know that he likes my guy friend because she kept on stealing glances on him and kept on "casually" bringing up his name during our conversations. I think she just want to use me to look cute to that guy. So I want to ask, is this girl really just using me or was I just letting my feelings rule over? It's also hard to cut off my friendship with her since our family is close and connected. What do I do? :( http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/the-nf-idyllic-enfp-infp-enfj-infj-/90173-infp-enfp-friendship-new-post.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

#The NF Idyllic (ENFP #INFP #ENFJ #INFJ)

[typologycentral]

[MBTI General] What house were you sorted into on Pottermore?

I got Hufflepuff! :D Also, do you think that was accurate? If not what house do you think you really belong to? Pretty sure I'm a Hufflepuff although I was hoping for Gryffindor. Woo woo. (INFJ) http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/the-nf-idyllic-enfp-infp-enfj-infj-/90491-house-sorted-pottermore-new-post.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

#The NF Idyllic (ENFP #INFP #ENFJ #INFJ)