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fatherofmachine · 2 years

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I always forget just HOW MUCH I absolutely love Harold’s very first interaction with Shaw in Relevance. Every time I watch it I get SO OVERWHELMED by it. While Shaw does reject his offer at first, I feel like it’s a perfect illustration of how much he has GROWN from season 1, from the very beginning.

His original “ You can call me Mr. Finch ” has now turned into “ You can call me Harold ”. For the most part, he holds almost unyielding eye contact, his tone is softer, kinder, whilst also still maintaining an obviously authoritative air about him. Instead of thinking of targeting weak points, instead of laying out the things he knows about her ( as he did with John originally ) .... INSTEAD, he appeals to emotion, a lack of judgement, backed with that practicality of his still. He is honest in a more meaningful way by bringing up Cole, but it’s an apology. It’s saying I know that you cared about him & I’m sorry we couldn’t save him.

I find this ESPECIALLY meaningful because Harold has absolutely read Shaw’s file, he knows all about her. Most people would read about her personality disorder & immediately throw away any kind of attempt of emotionally reaching her, but Harold does not do this. At this point, he has helped SO MANY DIFFERENT KINDS OF PEOPLE, he is so much better at reaching them & so that’s what he does. He simply reaches.

What I REALLY like about that, outside of the show meta, is from a writing perspective ; the whole first half of the episode, they’re telling you that Shaw is a sociopath, but with those little but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel anything pieces here & there. & THEN, with this interaction with Harold, it puts those pieces together very clearly with her line ( & god damn that facial expression acting ), “ I never had many friends, never had much use for them. Cole was an exception. & He deserved better. ”

& THEN, Harold goes further later to ensure that Cole’s family believes that he died a hero. While that was of course for his family, that was also for Shaw.

So anyway, I’m REALLY FUCKIN EMOTIONAL about POI & Harold & Shaw’s friendship & I’m gonna cry, thank u for coming to my TED talk.

#KNOWING THE ANSWER HAS COST ME SOMETHING I VALUE MORE THAN MY OWN LIFE. ( character study )#I DID SENSE MY PRIVACY BEING INVADED. ( headcanons )#WATCHING WITH TEN THOUSAND EYES … LISTENING WITH A MILLION EARS. ( meta )#WALTER DANG APPRECIATES YOUR METAPHYSICAL SACRIFICE. ( sameen shaw )#I'M NOT PUNISHING YOU FOR AN ERROR﹐ I'M PROTECTING YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE HURT. ( assetrisen )#ON THE CONTRARY﹐MISS SHAW﹐I THINK YOU FINALLY GOT THE JOB. ( itsasset )#YOU ASKED ME IF I EVEN LOOKED FOR YOU. IN MY HEART I THOUGHT … I GAVE UP ON YOU﹐ & FOR THAT I AM TRULY SORRY. ( finch & shaw )#SOBS abt this again oh my god

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fatherofmachine · 2 years

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( Originally answered here, regarding Finch’s first encounter with @analoginterface‘s Root. I figured I ought to re-post this as meta-ish thing, like I did with the Reese one. I also tweaked this one a bit & added more. )

FEAR. Fear, anger & a sickening disgust was what he’d first associated with her, the moment his gaze had met hers. The sharp fascination & curiosity that would eventually develop wouldn’t emerge until MUCH later. Shock & terror ripped through him as the sound of gunfire TEARING through flesh & bone violently wrought Harold’s world, his senses, to a brief stand-still. Alicia, the person he’d been speaking to mere seconds ago, was abruptly, lifelessly SLUMPED against the passenger seat & door—–Harold couldn’t see the blood, not from this angle, but the nauseating hot, copper-like scent of it left him with NO DOUBTS of it being there. Movement outside of the passenger window had him turning without thinking about it, blue eyes WIDE. He only just recognized his mouth had fallen open with shock & he pressed thin lips together tightly.

For a moment, all he could hear was a dull RINGING & any other sound was muffled by it ; he’d only acknowledged the sound of the back door of the car opening & closing AFTER her voice rose from the silence.

❛ I thought she’d NEVER shut up, ❜

For a BRIEF few seconds, he couldn’t comprehend what it was she’d said—–NOT that he couldn’t hear her, the ringing was beginning to diminish & he could hear the words just fine. It was the CASUAL sound of her voice, how she spoke as though they ( she & Harold ) shared some sort of private JOKE. One arm still extended outward behind him, that same wrist settled upon the steering wheel uselessly whilst his other hand GRIPPED the center console to keep himself turned. His head & neck had JERKED painfully in response to the gunshot & now, the lasting pain of the movement began to seep into the rest of his upper body … but, Harold was FAR too preoccupied to notice just yet.

TURING ( or, whatever her real name was ) was practically beaming at him, the look of it almost CHILD-LIKE with how manic it appeared. His own dark brows were narrowing, as were his eyes & his mind was WORKING again, moving incredibly fast, as if to catch up from the momentary pause.

❛ So nice to finally meet you, Harold. You can call me ROOT. ❜

With her INTRODUCTION, Root moved in close, her firearm pointed directly at him & her wide SMILE never faltered. Harold swiftly began to solve the puzzle of how they reached this point & the longer he looked at her, the more HORRIFIED he became. Once he finally spoke, his voice sounded STRANGE to his own ears ; almost detached, still riddled with pure shock & he could hear the latter within his own ragged breathing. The DISGUST that had long-since begun to churn within him spiked at the sight of how her DELIGHTED smile had shifted into something mischievously smug.

❝ … You hired HR yourself ? You were willing to RISK your own life to FIND me ? ❞

Her dark gaze flickered downward, but only for a few seconds.

❛ I did this ... corporate training thing once, ❜

Root began, barely rotating the firearm held tightly within her hand as if they were having a CASUAL conversation rather than the reality .... which was her essentially holding him at gun point.

❛ I was blackmailing the CEO, long story, but .... they did this exercise called the trust fall. Where you close your eyes and f a l l ... & wait for someone to CATCH you. I knew you boys wouldn't let me down. ❜

She’d trusted that he & Mr. Reese would save her life, she’d had FAITH in them. Coming from her, it only TAINTED the statement & Harold simply leaned farther away.

❛ C’mon, Harold. We’ve got SO MUCH to talk about. ❜

Root nearly BOUNCED in her apparent excitement, her firearm still pointed in a silent threat … & Harold understood the command without her needing to specify further. She seemed to take notice of the body then, albeit … & BEFORE they departed, Root discarded Alicia’s lifeless body on the concrete ground bellow, MUCH to Harold’s disgust.

#analoginterface #YOU'RE A BRILLIANT WOMAN﹐ COMRADE ... & A FRIEND. ( analoginterface )#I MUST CONFESS ... HER'S IS A VOICE THAT I MISS. DEEPLY. ( samantha groves | root )#WE HAVE A BIGGER FIGHT AHEAD OF US. I THINK WE SHOULD BE TOGETHER WHEN THAT BEGINS. ( finch & root )#WATCHING WITH TEN THOUSAND EYES … LISTENING WITH A MILLION EARS. ( meta )#man those tags are weird to use while writing the very first in person Root and Finch scene lmao #so anyway do you ever fucking lose your mind over how much you love finch & root's whole evolution & dynamic bc BOY #I SURE DO!!#I had also considered that bit abt the CEO if ... that would have at all been connected to the irrelevant numbers #when harold couldn't do anything abt them #but i didn't wanna just throw that in there willy nilly so lmao #ANYWAY HAVE THIS #tfw I've retagged King in this drabble several times bc of url changes or blog changes but it always fucks us BOTH up :')

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fatherofmachine · 2 years

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All righty, I’m gonna talk about Finch’s injury at EXTENSIVE length in this post, so. If you’re at all squeamish about medical stuff &/ or spinal injuries & the like, you might want to avoid reading. I’m NOT AT ALL certified to diagnose physical injuries, so MOST of this comes from what Person Of Interest has PROVIDED, obviously, & these links: 1 2 3 4 & 5. If ANYONE ELSE has sources ( or even better ones, but these ones seem pretty thorough & Good ), feel free to send some my way & if I’ve gotten anything WRONG here or misunderstood any of the information I’ve used, please do let me know. PERSONAL BLOGS, LIKING & COMMENTING IS A-OK, BUT PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG.

Harold has had THREE SURGERIES after the ferry bombing ; a 2-level posterolateral fusion, a lumbar spinal fusion & a laminectomy, a surgery to attempt to alleviate the pain caused by his damaged sciatic nerve.

These are his x-rays from 1x04 ( Cura Te Ipsum ) & it’s VERY CLEAR to me that the injury is focused at the C3, C4 & C5 vertebrae. ( In regards to how the pain works, it’s either pain, numbness &/ or a “pins & needles” feeling & I’m ASSUMING that it can fluctuate between all three. The pain can be a dull ache or either a BURNING or cold type of pain, for your reference. With spinal injuries, this kind of pain is called NERVE PAIN, which is usually considerably different than ordinary pain. When I mention “pain” &/ or “uncomfortable sensations”, that’s what I’m referring to. ) With what we’ve been given / what we’ve seen, his disabilities regarding the C3, C4 & C5 vertebrae include:

1. Limited range of motion, as C3 enables side to side movements of the head. This also causes his sometimes RIGID-LOOKING POSTURE. 2. Pain / or pins & needles feeling in the diaphragm ( which causes breathing issues. This indicates that when Finch gets winded, it’s not because he’s out of shape or something ). This would also mean he’d have either painful sensations or the tingling sensations ( maybe even numbness ?? ) in his chest when the breathing issues arise. 3. Some sort of paralysis in his legs & personally, I would also say he’d have some issues with his hands sometimes. With the addition of the C5 vertebrae, there’s a chance of paralysis ( or the uncomfortable sensations ) in the wrists as well. This is also where the PAIN comes in. With all fore-mentioned vertebrae, pain, tingling or numb sensations would be in the shoulders & shoulder blades, the collarbone, upper arms, hands & the neck. The neck sensations can often cause headaches as well. All of this can also be directed to one side of the body, which would be Finch’s LEFT side. 4. ( this bit of info is something MOST of you don’t need to know but I gotta write it down anyway ) Because male sexual function depends on BOTH voluntary & involuntary motor control, most spinal injuries cause men to often struggle with getting or retaining erections ( which doesn’t mean COMPLETELY ALWAYS, but it’s likely an issue sometimes ).

& Because he’s very obviously had a 2-level posterolateral fusion ( which is what the bright white lines in-between the vertebrae are in the right side of the picture are ; they’re screws ), that has largely aided in his regained ability to walk & it lessened the chronic pain to a manageable level ( along with a different fusion surgery, which I’ll get to shortly ).

As mentioned in a previous post I reblogged earlier ( this one ), Finch very likely had a sciatic nerve injury as well, as it’s mentioned once we wakes up right after the accident that he’s suffered an injury to his lower back ( which would probably be the left side of his lumbo-sacral spine, so both of these are intertwined & that’s what causes the limp. In this case, it’s likely that he might’ve had some sort of lumbar spinal fusion as well as the fore-mentioned C3, C4 & C5 2-level fusion, which would also be a BIG deal with aiding him to be able to walk again ). SO, WHAT THAT MEANS IS:

1. He has WEAKNESS of knee flexation ( bending ). 2. Weakness of foot movements, which can be inability to turn the foot inwards &/ or difficulty bending the foot downward. 3. POSSIBLY some difficulty in keeping his legs / feet close together. I would assume it’s not impossible, but because of gradual discomfort, he can’t do it for very long. 4. “Foot drop” ( Finch’s left foot specifically ), because the muscles that lift the foot are weak. This is associated with a paralytic type of limp. 5. Decreased sensation, numbness or tingling at the top of the foot &/ or the outer upper or lower leg ( which, in Finch’s case, would be the lower leg ).

6. Limited hip movement. Can move them forward & backward ( albeit with a limit ), but any other direction either causes PAIN or his body simply halts the attempted movement completely.

AN UPDATE ( thanks to discussing it with @anurbanlcgend ), RE: MENTION OF SCIATIC NERVE INJURY ( 4 / 8 / 2020 ):

The ONLY surgery Harold ever considered purely to alleviate any kind of pain was a laminectomy, because his initial lumbar spinal injury caused a rare case of lumbar spinal stenosis ( which is usually a result of aging, but in rare cases can emerge after a spinal injury ). HOWEVER, because of the events shown in the episode RAM ( 3x16 ) where he was forced onto his feet before he was SUPPOSED to, he did so before that surgery had entirely healed. Thus, it messed up that particular nerve & likely cemented a small amount of paralysis within his left leg ( which is why, for example, if he has to climb over anything for some reason, Harold has to physically move his left leg with his own hands to get his leg over like, a railing ). Having to do this also basically made the surgery kind of pointless.

SCARS:

Aside from his emotions attached to them, the general sensory feeling of someone touching closer to like, his mid back gives him this twisting / uncomfortable / dread-like feeling in his gut & a skin-crawly feeling especially but he has that twisting feeling of dread if any of them are touched tbh ( which means, it’s gonna take him a long time to allow touching ).

1. Harold's surgery scars are VERY prominent, especially the spinal one. It starts at the upper part of his neck & goes down the middle of his back & the indentation that it leaves is pretty significant.

2. His hip scar is relatively prominent as well, but it's a little more FADED than the one on his back & has less of an indentation. That one goes from the left side of his lower back & curls around & stops just short of his hip bone.

3. The shrapnel scars those effect / change the texture of his skin & they start at at his left hip in the front & rise to reach the bottom half of his side.

4. He ALSO has the original blunt force trauma scars which are at the back of his neck & lower back ( & the lower back one stretches on into his left side ), underneath the surgical scars. They look like slightly raised, considerably large & thin WELTS now & they are slightly discolored.

#WATCHING WITH TEN THOUSAND EYES … LISTENING WITH A MILLION EARS. ( meta )#I DID SENSE MY PRIVACY BEING INVADED. ( headcanons )#KNOWING THE ANSWER HAS COST ME SOMETHING I VALUE MORE THAN MY OWN LIFE. ( character study )#i am Very Dedicated can you tell-

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fatherofmachine · 2 years

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HERE, I’m gonna write my headcanons / meta about Young Harold. I’m bringing a large chunk of the meta I wrote on the archived blog here, along with some NEW STUFF, which tbh is just the first 3 paras.

Some people ( including me tbh ) wonder how the fuck or where the fuck Harold learned all of the subjects he shows VERY HIGH SKILL in, besides programming & the like. I realize that, given how ridiculously high his IQ is ( I think it’s around 185, if not 190 ), Harold likely taught himself a lot of it with the help of his local library. For example, since his father was so into fixing cars ... Harold decided to read EVERY book he could possibly find about them, likely sees tons of diagrams of how engines are built, how they fit together. So the next time there’s a problem, he just .... fixes the problem by taking the entire engine apart, now that he knows how it’s put together. Can you IMAGINE how many diagrams he likely copied & drew himself, how many NOTES he’d had on everything, like ??? I’m also THOROUGHLY CONVINCED that Harold also turns into a bird encyclopedia. His father gifted him that Eastern Birds book & I am 500% certain that he memorized that entire book in like ... a week, maybe less. ( I’ve also lowkey always wondered if Harold has something of a photographic memory ?? His memory is fantastic tbh )

He also probably figured out what his father’s memory issue was very, very early on, which is why he stayed there & went through schooling at a “normal” pace ( bc you’d think, with his intelligence, he’d SORE over everyone so fast, he’d get SO BORED ). Harold couldn’t leave him if there was a high chance of his father being a DANGER to himself ... & it took him a long, long time to agree to put his father in a home, that was a very difficult decision for him.

To keep that boredom at bay, I can imagine that Harold made a mission of reading every single book in this local library & any in his school libraries that weren’t in the local one. Learning about & teaching himself all of these skills that he found interesting. & when he RAN OUT of things to read, things to learn ... that would explain why he was so adamant about making information obtainable to people who could find it, WHY he tore ARPANET inside out ( other than the fact that he was trying to build an AI, of course ). Once he went off to college later, considering how easily & quickly he learns, I can imagine he’d be able to take SEVERAL courses more than most people & still graduate in 3-4 years.

MORE BELLOW THE CUT BC THIS GOT RIDICULOUSLY LONG WHOOPS

Harold has this THING, which he retains throughout his life tbh, where he always wants to Expose / Humiliate people who are corrupt or liars or who are otherwise doing wrong. Which is honestly what I SUSPECT partially lead to him committing treason TWICE ( ONCE In 1974 & again in 1980, both with the ARPANET breach, but the SECOND time was the big one ). I feel like he may have hacked/ breached ARPANET twice ; the first time was moreso him just …. observing, & he used phreaking. It was funded by the U.S. Department of Defense & as mentioned by Harold’s father in 3x11, “And besides, they’re building a computer network right now that’s going to connect all the universities in the country.” & Harold responds with “If I can’t leave town, I’ll bring the information to me. I’ll find a way.” So, this is in 1979. If he’d gotten into ARPANET beforehand, he’d already know everything about that ; the gist of the information ( I imagine that he couldn’t stay in that network too long lest he make himself too noticeable …. which he obviously did likely because he stayed as long as he POSSIBLY could until he had no choice but to Bail ), how the system / network worked, what they were USING it for ( which, it’s said to have been used for defense-related projects during the Cold War & it could’ve been used for corrupt purposes tbh ), ect. He likely ALSO believed that information, to a certain degree, should be AVAILABLE to people, that he SHOULDN’T have to hack into a highly secured government network to obtain ( now, basic to us bc WE have the internet ) information & resources. I mean, it could just be the latter, but Idk I feel like there’s a more complicated undercurrent to it, ESPECIALLY considering that he used a lot of the power from ARPANET to try & built a prototype of an AI the SECOND time he hacked it. As mentioned ABOVE, one reason he was so passionate about having access to information this way was because ... he was SO LIMITED in the town he was in, he’d read everything, studied & learned everything he could & after that, he was at a stand-still.

I ALSO think, with the “if they don’t want you to get inside, they ought to build it better” quote, it’s …. a really good saying, like ??? It’s like hes trying to teach people a lesson, ESPECIALLY if those people won’t listen, that he takes to heart himself when he makes TM ( being as insanely thorough as possible so that it was almost IMPOSSIBLE for TM to be broken into, so that she couldn’t be corrupted ). Because Harold has all of this ridiculous amount of foresight ( which is a trait of his personality type, INTJ ; his ability to see the big picture, as if he’s able to see OUTSIDE of everything from a considerable distance. He’s incredibly skilled at seeing ALL kinds of different CONNECTIONS & observing cause & effect. Being able to see all of these things so clearly leaves him with the ability to ( often quite accurately ) PREDICT how things are going to fit together & sometimes even MANIPULATE occurrences & events that are under his control. This ability is illustrated with the VIRUS WITHIN A VIRUS plot at the end of season 2 ) & he’s just sitting there like YOU NEED TO SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE HERE.

It’s absolutely a form of arrogance, in a way, but. It’s not exactly him being like, Look how smart & brilliant I am, I’m Smarter & More Brilliant than you. It’s BASICALLY him being like,Guys listen, you’re doing really Bad Things & your creation abilities are lacking, here’s why.This is really important & you could literally endanger people this way so if you’re not going to Listen to me, I’m gonna show you what happens when you don’t consider what I’m saying. & He’s right, to a large degree. & If Harold was ARROGANT to the point of just wanting to show off & be reckless for the sake of it, when his father praised him, he wouldn’t of reacted so humble. He basically tried to brush it off, like it was noting, it’s no biggie. That’s NOT how people who are arrogant for the sake of it react to praise.

He absolutely does like to show off but its because he … always seemed to have TROUBLE connecting with people throughout his childhood, he was so different than everyone. This is really low-key touched upon with that first scene with the phone trick, his train of thinking is somewhere else ENTIRELY & his friends are like ??? Who cares ?? & more IMPORTANTLY they’re unable to grasp the point of why he’s thinking it / talking about it. He thinks literally lightyears ahead of everyone tbh & I don’t think that’s much of a stretch or exaggeration considering he built a nearly perfect A.I. in 2001-2002. WE CAN’T EVEN REPLICATE HUMAN MORALITY / ELEMENTS IN 2016-2017.

The way his friends react to his trick is SO positive & happy & Harold is so BEYOND happy to make them feel that way because of something HE did. It’s a form of TRYING to connect with people in a way, which is likely the only way he knows how for a while, especially considering he’s stuck in a small town & there’s a limited amount of information on the world to reach for without breaking laws. So he …. shows off kind of to give people SOMETHING to like about him, a way for him to connect with them for a short time. It’s an instant, 100%-certainty-that-they-like-you-for-a-while card, in a way. He talks about this even as an ADULT, how difficult it was for him to UNDERSTAND people. If you can’t understand most people, how are you supposed to CONNECT with them ?? He manages to figure it out as he goes to college & meets new people, especially so after he meets Grace later on, but before that & even through some of college, Harold doesn’t know what tf he’s doing. He likely attempts to apply LOGICAL problem solving to everything, as if he’s solving a puzzle or equation & that just …doesn’t work well with most emotional people. Also, once he leaves his FATHER who forgets him because of his memory disorder, that h u rts. His father was someone who was different from him, but he UNDERSTOOD him still & saw his brilliance. He might’ve actually considered irrationally trying to avoid too close of connections after that since the LOSS of it hurt so much.

#KNOWING THE ANSWER HAS COST ME SOMETHING I VALUE MORE THAN MY OWN LIFE. ( character study )#I DID SENSE MY PRIVACY BEING INVADED. ( headcanons )#WATCHING WITH TEN THOUSAND EYES … LISTENING WITH A MILLION EARS. ( meta )

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fatherofmachine · 2 years

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Hi, something I realized in regards to Harold’s three base identities, since I haven’t written it down yet—

WREN was his first alias & it is the alias that WE KNOW FOR CERTAIN he graduated under. It is the alias that is HIS OPPOSITE as, Harold Wren gets lost when it comes to computers, he works as an insurance underwriter, from his interactions with Will he seems to be not very inquisitive. It is this way because this is the alias he first used to run & it is likely his most comprehensive alias. We ALSO know for certain that Mr. Wren went to therapy for PTSD symptoms roughly a year after the ferry incident, but he created a different traumatic event to be able to freely talk about his trauma. With that therapist, he seems to have dropped a lot of Wren’s later-seen personality quirks that he displays with Will Ingram.

FINCH is the alias he created / used to found IFT with Nathan, as IFT likely stands for Ingram Finch Technologies. & with that alias, he presented himself as an average IT guy. His being the co-founder of IFT was kept secret, likely out of fear of the government finding him tbh, but also because he prefers to do things ... invisibly anyway. This is where John finds him at IFT in the episode Ghosts, which Harold leaves / quits shortly after. FINCH is, in my opinion, his most favored alias & the one that has basically become his real name.

MARTIN is the third identity & this is the one he used with Grace & it’s likely that he build that entire identity for her specifically—–ALTHOUGH there’s no indication really that there was a whole lot of depth to this alias initially & it was instead built upon as he went. We do know, however, that Harold Martin is also regarded as a Freelance Software Engineer. After the bombing, he likely created A GREAT DEAL MORE for that alias than he had previously in order for Grace to have a funeral for him & for Greer to later have any information on that alias when he interrogated Grace.

#I DID SENSE MY PRIVACY BEING INVADED. ( headcanons )#WATCHING WITH TEN THOUSAND EYES … LISTENING WITH A MILLION EARS. ( meta )#KNOWING THE ANSWER HAS COST ME SOMETHING I VALUE MORE THAN MY OWN LIFE. ( character study )

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fatherofmachine · 2 years

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An old drabble request for @anurbanlcgend that originally was posted on my original blog in 2016, I figured I ought to rework some of it & post it here. Lots of things have changed in my portrayal in 3 years.

CAUTION: POST SEASON 5 SPOILERS !!

The PAIN of losing John Reese was OVERWHELMING. Harold had many to mourn & their deaths were his fault, but John had DELIBERATELY chosen to save Harold’s life, even if that meant his own demise. John Reese had changed his PERSPECTIVE of the world entirely. He had done terrible things, of this Harold was certain ( as he’d seen it himself, even BEFORE they’d officially met ). When he’d been building The Machine, even BEFORE that, Harold had believed that certain things were UNFORGIVABLE ; there were those whom were good & those whom were EVIL. That was until John Reese, employed by the CIA & trained to be a LETHAL weapon, nearly tore his own wrist to shreds to escape restraints because he’d heard someone else NEEDED HELP.

He’d needed to SAVE them & this was something Harold had expected—–but seeing the TERROR in his eyes, the feeling of desperate loss lingering above his head had he NOT made it in time … seeing it in person wasn’t anywhere NEAR the same as reading it in a file, or seeing it through a camera.

The GOOD of John Reese’s heart had captured Harold, since the moment he’d first watched John help Daniel Casey ESCAPE ; DESPITE the fact that in doing so, he’d risked his own life ( in John’s own words—–an enemy of the state was punishable by death ). For somebody he didn’t even KNOW. Somehow, by some IMPOSSIBLE miracle, John had CARED deeply for Harold, far more than he’d ever expected. Far more than he’d ever DREAMED possible.

Harold had expected to risk his OWN life for John Reese, & he had, several times—–but for him to RETURN it, for John to have gone out of his way to SAVE him, to PROTECT him, so many times …. & in the end, he’d HAPPILY given his life, so that Harold could LIVE. The GOODNESS of his heart had always been shining through & once Harold had caught a GLIMPSE of it, beneath the layers of protective barriers, he was long gone. He’d fallen SO DEEPLY & he hadn’t entirely realized what those feelings were as ... he hadn’t expected to feel anything like it after Grace.

A part of him, the part that truly LOVED John so desperately ( & if he were being honest, the more selfish part of himself ) hated the choice he’d made. Harold had found COMFORT, safety & an unconditional acceptance with him & Harold had given the same in return. He’d shared the SECRETS that he’d always kept so close to his chest—–secrets that he hadn’t even told NATHAN. It’d taken him a long while to reach that point, but the fact that he’d GOTTEN there in the first place was astounding.

Harold allowed his eyes to flutter closed, TIGHTLY, & without a seconds delay he remembered the OVERWHELMING amount of times they’d touched ( with hands, fingertips, lips—–even the times they’d simply walked beside one another, simply relishing within each other’s presence ) & how it all felt. He remembered John’s scent ( a heavy MUSK, occasionally with a hint of gunpowder ), those GREEN eyes of his that illuminated the KINDNESS of his heart. How those eyes appeared when he felt like he’d been given a PURPOSE, one that was aligned with his love of helping people, his love of saving them.

The immense PAIN of losing John Reese, his best friend, his PARTNER. The person he’d LOVED, would never leave him. It would always send pangs of YEARNING, of heavy ANGUISH. Harold Finch was certain beyond a DOUBT that he would always feel the ghost of John’s loss ; of course it may FADE somewhat over time but it would never leave him. Instead, he would likely find ways to cut himself with the GRIEF of it until the day he died ( or, until his mind deteriorated enough to FORGET .... a fear that struck Harold to his very core ).

The Machine’s words, spoken with Root’s voice, came back to him often & provided him some COMFORT ;

But if you MEANT something to someone, loved someone, HELPED someone .... if even a single person remembers you, then ... maybe ...

You never really die AT ALL ?

#anurbanlcgend #TELL ME EVERY TERRIBLE THING YOU EVER DID AND LET ME LOVE YOU ANYWAY. ( anurbanlcgend )#OTP; ALWAYS﹐ MR. REESE. ( finch & reese )#REWRITE THE CODE. ( drabbles )#WATCHING WITH TEN THOUSAND EYES … LISTENING WITH A MILLION EARS. ( meta )#SOFTLY SCREAMS <3

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fatherofmachine · 2 years

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( PERSONALS, PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG !! )

I realized that I ... don’t think I’ve EVER actually written this meta / headcanon down, not by itself anyway ( which, I’ve also discussed this with @deu5exmach1na when it first occurred to me ) ?? I’ve gotten to season 3 on my rewatch & I’ve reached Death Benefit. While EVERYONE in the situation believes that The Machine sent Harold, John & later Shaw to actually kill McCourt, I VERY MUCH do not think so. If The Machine ever would outright WANT Team Machine to kill someone, I would think Root would be the one to put on that mission. She would be FAR easier to convince that killing McCourt was the only way & she would do anything The Machine asked.

She chose Harold ( especially ), John & Shaw because I honestly DO believe that if Harold hadn’t been so desperately distressed about considering the idea that his child The Machine would ask them to kill someone, he likely could’ve reasoned with McCourt. I suspect that, of course, She knew that the probability of them coming to that conclusion was VERY LIKELY, but the slim chance of Harold not being affected by that idea & being able to talk McCourt OUT of supporting the surveillance system deal was the only way that they could stop Samaritan from coming online without anyone getting killed. With John & Shaw along with Harold, they would be the ideal team members to come up with an alternative to killing OR to make the best decision possible, even if that meant leaving McCourt to aid in bringing Samaritan online ( which is what happened ). The Machine was also backed into a corner & She HOPED that Her creator & her agents would trust that She didn’t want them to kill him & that She wanted them to find another way ( or the rare chance that they wouldn’t consider The Machine’s intentions, but that would be the lowest of chances, i think ).

Those are my thoughts on the circumstances of Death Benefit & it is the headcanon that I use while writing within that episode or beyond it. I also suspect that, once Harold & The Machine were able to really talk, that was one of the things they talked about.

#WATCHING WITH TEN THOUSAND EYES … LISTENING WITH A MILLION EARS. ( meta )#I DID SENSE MY PRIVACY BEING INVADED. ( headcanons )#*bangs pots & pans* THE MACHINE DIDN'T WANT TEAM MACHINE TO KILL THE CONGRESSMAN SHE WANTED THEM TO CHANGE HIS MIND #but Team Machine & especially Harold went the next 2 seasons believing that TM literally asked them to commit murder #& that makes me want to cry honestly

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fatherofmachine · 2 years

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( PERSONALS, PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG !! )

I realized that I haven’t written a post about Finch constantly calling Root “Miss Groves” instead of her chosen name & I figured I should. So, a huge thing I want to emphasize is that his INSISTENCE on not calling her Root has literally nothing to do with him refusing to generally call people what they want to be called. His reasons are SO CONTEXT SPECIFIC & if her name wasn’t a lowkey threat in the beginning of the series, I’m certain that he’d call her what she’d wanted to be called ( which is a given, since later in the series he DOES call her Root a few times ). The term root has very specific meaning, which, this excerpt is from this post :

“ The term rootkit originally referred to a maliciously modified set of administrative tools for Linux systems that granted “root” access. If an intruder could replace the standard administrative tools on a system with a rootkit, the intruder could obtain root access over the system whilst simultaneously concealing these activities from the legitimate system administrator. ”

He avoids calling her Root because, especially in context to her having direct contact with The Machine which is ENTIRELY against the rules he created for The Machine in the first place ( which were FOR A REALLY DAMN GOOD REASON imo ), her name literally implies that NOT ONLY can she have complete, unfettered root access to The Machine, but she can conceal her activities from him as admin ( which she does, because no one really knows wtf is going on with her & everyone kind of adapts to that & gets used to asking her ).

After Root kidnapped him once, threatened the life of his fiance so that he would work with her & then was 0.002 seconds from shooting him at the end of that venture, it makes sense that he would not be ok with these implications, especially considering that her view of humanity was the EXACT OPPOSITE of Finch’s own & The Machine’s. Because we all know that ( because of the episode .exe ) without his & The Machine’s influence, she would’ve worked for Decima Technologies & Samaritan & would’ve supported their intent to cause a purge. It is ALSO his way of setting a boundary, because technically, the rootkit tool does not follow the coded, system rules established by the administrator & Finch’s established rules are not only to protect the rest of humanity, but to protect The Machine from abuse. Ultimately, they BOTH end up having to collaborate with each other & adjust their thoughts & feelings in order to work together & develop the trusting friendship that they do.

Finch spent 6 YEARS creating The Machine with a specific moral compass & an impenetrable amount of encryption so that no one could have access, so that NO ONE could abuse Her & so that no one could inflict that abuse onto others. He doesn’t call her Root for the majority of the series because her name literally means “ can obtain root access to a system, disregard any of the rules established & conceal actions from system administrator ” while Finch is referred to as “Admin / Administrator ” by The Machine. I hope that clarifies things.

#WATCHING WITH TEN THOUSAND EYES … LISTENING WITH A MILLION EARS. ( meta )#I DID SENSE MY PRIVACY BEING INVADED. ( headcanons )#the tags i had originally are good ones so #i see it in the tags every now and then .... people being like 'finch won't use Root's chosen name!!'#that means he won't do it for anyone and he's terrible!!!!11!!#like y'all ...... there's literally a specific reason for it in Root's case #also Finch is the only person who can call Root 'Miss Groves / Samantha / Sam / Samantha Groves and get away with it #bc lbr if anyone else did she would probably murder them lmao

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fatherofmachine · 2 years

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Just a smol reminder to everyone, especially if we’ve written or ARE writing anything in season 4 … what “Professor Whistler” is teaching is “Ethics & Considerations of High-Frequency Econometrics”. High-Frequency Econometrics specifically refers to online financial transactions, usually for stock, which occur in milliseconds ( ULTIMATELY what this means is that it’s done with A.I. technology, technology that analyzes input data, EVOLVES & provides an output result / decision, the use of ALGORITHMS ). This practice gives technologically-superior entities a competitive advantage in such transactions ( this is from this discussion form, bless ). When Harold first meets Beth Bridges, they talk about Ethics of neuro-evolutionary technologies … which is a fancy way of saying Ethics of Artificial Intelligence technology, which is where he & Beth clash. The Machine actually gave him a subject to teach that’s his specialty, in a sense, & I’m pretty sure it’s also a foreshadowing to Samaritan messing with the stock market later on. JUST SO YOU ALL KNOW.

Another note, his alias WHISTLER is not a bird name. It’s a reference to Harold’s phreaking to hack into ARPANET ( or to hack into things IN GENERAL ) through phone operator systems in the 70′s& 80′s. In the real world, the FIRST hackers were called phreakers, they did exactly what Harold did using… whistles. The blue whistle Harold uses in his younger flashback scenes is the ACTUAL MODEL the phreakers used in the 70s. It’s a toy that was found in Cap’nCrunch boxes back in the day. That particular whistle produced a sound that matched with phone operators’ systems and provided to the phreaker a free international line ( this info comes from here, which is a post about POI’s accuracy in technology. The SECOND post with more of this is here ).

#WATCHING WITH TEN THOUSAND EYES … LISTENING WITH A MILLION EARS. ( meta )#I DID SENSE MY PRIVACY BEING INVADED. ( headcanons )#God there's so much to repost sjhgfkfj

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fatherofmachine · 2 years

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( PERSONAL BLOGS, DO NOT REBLOG !! ) So, I’m gonna talk about Harold’s ANGER & his emotions, his Good-ness & how he feels toward people in general. Honestly I’m 500% done with people saying that Harold isn’t a good person, that he DOESN’T CARE, that he still see’s other humans as being Below him or something. It makes me pretty ticked off, so I apologize if I sound SALTY AS HELL, I’m not exactly trying to be. I try very, very hard to write him as close to canon as possible. I try to write him the way the writers had intended. But ultimately, this is only relevant to MY portrayal, but I very strongly believe it’s canon & this entire thing is 100 times more complicated than “ Harold Finch isn’t a good person ” ???

We are all aware of how SCARY Harold can be. That’s established pretty strongly at the end of season 5, but he’s always been lowkey terrifying. BUT PLEASE BE AWARE. Any time Harold Finch considers stepping away from his moral code is when someone he deeply cares about is in danger &/or when someone is literally just .... heartless & cruel to people, to humanity. Also when people try to ENSLAVE people, to take away their free will. Harold is a VERY STRONG believer in Free Will. Those are the things that set off his FURY. Just because he can SEPARATE himself from his emotions in order to possibly step away from those morals does not make him a bad person. The fact that he could distance himself from the irrelevant list ( bc sorry not sorry, if he let himself go anywhere near there, that desperate need to help people would be there ) does not make him a bad person. Having a belief in “the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few” in the beginning, whilst he was making The Machine, does not make him a bad person. At first, Harold has a broad view of things & the thought of helping individual people seemed so minuscule & pointless bc it was difficult to imagine that it would MATTER in the grand scheme of things. He wanted to help everybody at once, as that felt like a GREATER GOOD.

Harold didn’t understand people, they were a MYSTERY to him, because they could be so cruel. In the episode where Reese first finds out about Grace, he says “ I failed to recognize the lengths at which they would go to protect The Machine, to control it. ” & later, he also says: “ You're right, you and I are alike... in many ways - not that I'd care to admit it. I spent years wondering how people could be so cruel, petty, so selfish - and then I'd think about how you could change them. Fix them. And that's why I've sealed up the machine. Not to protect it from the people I was giving it to... to protect it from me, from people like us, from the things we'd do with it. That's why I'll never help you get control of it.”

Keep in mind, that in the Claypool episodes in season 3 & then the last few episodes of season 5, Harold insinuates that he WAS, in part, trying to protect The Machine from people who would abuse her ( “ ... they will hurt it, imprison it. Enslave it & use it to enslave others. Is that the life you would wish for your child ? ” & then, the s5 one, when The Machine asks him why he shackled her & why he still is, at that moment, shackling her. He says, “ I wanted to keep you safe. ” ). Harold’s words BEFORE that are glimpses of him trying DESPERATELY to deny that The Machine is anything but a machine. Trying to DENY that he felt any connection, that he had any parental feelings toward The Machine. Admitting he wanted to keep The Machine safe, at that early point, is contradictory to that denial, which is a bit part of his entire character development. This only starts to budge once Root begins to recognize The Machine as a person as well as a machine. He hadn’t gotten there yet. In the end, what NEEDED to happen, was Harold’s view & Root’s view needed to compliment each other. Those views were two halves of a whole, which is a big undercurrent arc throughout the entire series.

I DO believe, however, that those feelings Harold describes, of wanting to CHANGE people, to fix them, is sort of an unhealthy at the time way of saying I want to help people be better. He recognizes how unhealthy the former sounds & that begins to scare him. What Root is in the beginning of the show is QUITE LITERALLY what Harold was afraid of being, the possibility that he HATED about himself, because of a few similar thoughts. The fact that those thoughts scared him, that they feel WRONG to him at all, means that he IS, at heart, a good person. He also WANTS to be a good person. Just because somebody makes the conscious choice to be a good &/ or better person does not mean they are not inherently good. The fact that he does not WANT to hurt people, that he wants to help people at all, means that he is a good person. He does have specific rules for himself to follow & he does hold himself to a higher standard morally. He does this because of that former scare.

He knows what he’s capable of & what Harold Finch is afraid of is being CORRUPTED. Harold doesn’t adhere to those morals because he feels he has to, in a sense of culture or a far away sense of society’s own morals. He adheres to them because he WANTS to be good, he wants to be better & he wants to help humanity be better. He doesn’t want to be as corrupt as the people he encounters. HE WAS HAUNTED AFTER NATHAN’S DEATH BY THE IRRELEVANT NUMBERS. HE FELT HELPLESS & HE CARED ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE PEOPLE HE COULDN’T HELP. This is when he began to really see how much of a difference he could make by helping just ONE person. At the beginning of season 4, he has a hard time getting back into the numbers & people think it’s because he didn’t actually care about them, but no. That’s not why.

The REASON WHY is because he believed his Machine just asked him to commit murder. That SHOOK Harold so, so badly & that literally swiped away his hope for a little while. It was a matter of, maybe saving individual people is actually pointless, if my creation would suggest murder. We were all one step away from becoming what we were trying to stop. As mentioned in season 5, The Machine is an extension of Harold, in a sense. At least, she is in the moral sense. If The Machine could consider murder, that’s the moment where he realizes HE could as well & not only does that terrify him, he begins to think, BOTH OF US CAN BE CORRUPTED & WE ALMOST WERE. He loses hope in what they’re doing, at that moment, & he loses some trust. In a way, it’s slightly like Harold being ANGRY at the part of himself that represents what he could be, if he were corrupted.

A large theme of Person Of Interest is the concept of CHOOSING to do good & CHANGING for the better, even if you’ve done bad things in the past. It’s about changing minds & being influenced by other people. “Samantha Groves was capable of terrible things, but she CHOSE to do good. ” I wanted to take a moment to remind everyone NOT to take the conscious choice of doing good out of the equation. People can become good, they can become better. The darkness within Harold Finch LITERALLY STEMS from his fury of people being cruel, from people he cared about getting hurt & from the possibility of humanity being enslaved & robbed of their free will. That is what makes him angry & like ... ??? Those core reasons indicate that HE IS INHERENTLY A GOOD PERSON. When anyone suggests otherwise, in my opinion, they are CLEARLY not paying attention.

#WATCHING WITH TEN THOUSAND EYES … LISTENING WITH A MILLION EARS. ( meta )#KNOWING THE ANSWER HAS COST ME SOMETHING I VALUE MORE THAN MY OWN LIFE. ( character study )#me yelling into the void <3

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fatherofmachine · 2 years

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All righty, I feel like it’s REALLY necessary to talk about some things. It’s a really important thing imo to understand this because it seems like so many people don’t & I assume it’s because Harold’s personality type makes his outward expressions and feelings a lot more internal. Feelings & emotions tend to come in second place with Harold, that’s just naturally how his mind works ; he’s able to put his feelings aside entirely & avoid making decisions based on them ( we’ve seen a few times where he snaps a bit or he gets rlly nervous but that’s when he’s under very heavy stress, like when he snapped at Root whilst she was holding him captive & forcing him to watch her torture someone. like ... out of all the things most people would’ve done, a slight sharp retort is super mild & Impressive ). He’s a logically thinking person which, to a lot of people on the outside, seems to suggest that he’s HARSH or even insensitive & like ?? In several cases he is kind of harsh, blunt....but there are TWO things to remember.

1. If Finch’s harsh / stubborn opinion is proven wrong, he’s going to own up to that. He’s going to change his opinion & he’s going to apologize, if necessary.

One particular STUBBORN opinion is his paranoia about The Machine, which he expresses throughout the series ( albeit it lessens with time ). & I’d imagine many people are like Finch just trust her already because that has crossed my mind before & I can also see how people could think he was being unkind & insensitive to her ( which I’m not saying he wasn’t exactly, he was, but.... *gestures to the next sentence* ). THE THING IS....there’s an extremely good reason for this. WITHOUT Harold’s extensive paranoia, The Machine likely would’ve turned out like Samaritan. The Machine is the way she is because Finch wanted to make 500000% sure that she would NEVER turn to do things that he was terrified she might, given that’s how DANGEROUS AI’s are naturally. As he’d said, AIs are born with objectives. They’re not born with empathy or any sense of Good & Evil.

He realizes how wrong he is AGAIN by assuming people’s lives would be better without him, because he’s not important enough & their happiness & safety matters more. But he sees how not better off Grace is without him through time & how he assumes Reese wont come looking for him when Root captures him but HE RELENTLESSLY GOES AFTER HIM & Finch may have hoped a little bit that Reese would come for him but he didn’t expect it. The numbers are more important. The Machine doesn’t try to help Reese find Finch initially bc FINCH PROGRAMMED HER NOT TO. Even to the very end, he tried to sacrifice himself but Reese & The Machine out-fox him because they love him & they don’t want him to sacrifice himself. He’s so IMPORTANT to them & he has a hard time understanding how important he is to those he’s close to.

Throughout the series, Harold is seemingly insensitive to The Machine & he distances himself from her ( especially so by avoiding using specific pronouns, which he does something SIMILAR to everyone by using their last names. It’s like a defense mechanism but he does let that slip & it shows how much he does care & how attached he is imo ). He doesn’t do these things out of malice or ill intent, he does these things because he’s RIGHTFULLY terrified of the things that could go wrong, of how he could be tricked if he decided to blindly trust his creation ( literally every version of The Machine except the one that remained tried to trick &/or kill him ok ).

Which is why it’s SO GOOD that he & The Machine finally have a long time to talk because she proves how wrong he is, how WRONG he is to doubt his own ability that created her & how truly TRUSTWORTHY she is, as he hoped she would be. She is his vision but he constantly doubted himself i think...& as she explains how she’s able to LOVE, he very clearly realizes how wrong he is & i feel like that’s a point where he accepts how wrong he is ( i dont know if he ever got to express that, but tbh I would love to write that discussion omg ). HE’S SO PROUD OF HER. & in regard to Root’s opinion of him & The Machine, she helped him trust The Machine & helped him let himself love her whilst Harold helped Root regain her humanity & they basically developed a father / daughter dynamic i cry about. bUT ANYWAY

2. Harold is selfless to a damn fault. Everyone’s lives matter so much more than his own & he expresses how much he doesn’t want people to risk their lives for him SEVERAL TIMES. Some would say that him recruiting everyone to save people ect. was a selfish thing but like?? Every single one of them became a BETTER version of themselves ( the Machine showed what life would’ve been like without his influence / the Machine & certainly one or two of them weren’t bad but it shows how GOOD of an influence him & the Machine were honestly ) & every single one of them WANTED to be there ‘till the end, they KNEW they might die but they were in for the ride anyway EVEN IF Harold asked them not to sacrifice themselves. He cares very deeply for those whom he slowly, eventually trusts & to say that he doesn’t just because those feelings aren’t spilling out of him is just .... ???? His guilt for ANYONE’S death indirectly caused by him is immense. He literally drowns in it & that’s illustrated very clearly to me ( “ Does survival’s guilt pass when everything is in fact YOUR FAULT ? ” ) but he & I have similar personality types so I might just understand how he thinks easier than some, idk.

So, with these things in mind, it boggles my mind that anyone would even for a second consider that Harold Finch didn’t care that he indirectly caused the deaths of people he loved or that he didn’t try to STOP them from getting killed, because he did try. He did the best he could, given the circumstances. He absolutely made MISTAKES & he certainly wasn’t always in the right, he was wrong about a lot of things but he owned up to the things he was wrong about & to his mistakes.

#KNOWING THE ANSWER HAS COST ME SOMETHING I VALUE MORE THAN MY OWN LIFE. ( character study )#WATCHING WITH TEN THOUSAND EYES … LISTENING WITH A MILLION EARS. ( meta )#me reposting these and remembering that some of them came out of me being irrtated at outer fandom nonsense lmfao

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fatherofmachine · 2 years

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OK, SO. We’re going to talk about 3 things in this post, because they’re all related to each other in some way ; Harold’s sexual orientation, his romantic orientation & shipping. PLEASE NOTE: with Harold’s sexual as well as romantic orientations, it’s very clearly stated that how he feels pertains only TO HAROLD specifically. Grey-aro-ace people ALL feel things differently, not everyone has the same feelings & experiences.

( this gif originally came from here, I did not make the original )

This comment is one of the FEW things in POI that provides a glimpse into Harold’s ... relationship with other people & I believe that it’s an OUTSIDE glimpse, from someone else who merely witnessed bits & pieces. After watching the overall series several times & certain episodes more than several times, I recognize what it is Arthur means here ; Harold has a certain ... POWERFUL INFLUENCE on other people in general, whether it’s in reference to something romantic or platonic ( or somewhere in between ).

Harold’s success of being SURROUNDED by people who’re dangerous as hell & yet, they all end up loving each other DEEPLY in their own ways ... it’s quite the feat. They all become fiercely loyal to each other & I believe this is because of the influence Harold has on people. We ALSO see, with some of the other people he interacts with, that he often eventually has this similar pull, this similar Thing. He’s very ODD, secretive & suspicious ... but people just end up ... really liking him. It’s not just women, but Arthur is likely heterosexual & heteroromantic & I’d imagine he’d assume Harold is too, so it’s reasonable for him to assume that Harold is / was quite the ladies man, as they say.

That’s what Arthur’s comment implies, that Harold “Got” ( in either sexual or romantic context ) with a lot of women but I don’t AT ALL believe that’s how it actually was ( which, I think is pretty evident by the LOOK he gives Arthur in response lol ). Harold doesn’t feel sexual attraction, sex is not something that is usually, if EVER, on his mind & he doesn’t feel a need for it. To be clear, that DOES NOT mean that he dislikes sex or never has it. The feeling of this attraction may surface when he’s being sensual with a partner, but USUALLY that has to be directly indicated by them, more or less. However, just because he’s being sensual with a partner &/ or because his partner indicates that kind of desire DOES NOT MEAN that he will feel it &/ or have a desire to feel it / act on it—–he’s Greyasexual, which FOR HAROLD means, he may feel sexual attraction, but only under limited & specific circumstances & if he does feel any attraction, it may or may not be strong enough for him to have any desire to act on it. As an example ; his partner could be sitting in his lap with the sensual kisses, touches, ect. & sex will not be on his mind at all. He doesn’t try to DIRECT anything into that & it’s never something he EXPECTS. Also a note that GENDER is often irrelevant to whether Harold may feel sexually attracted to them or not. The only kind of TYPE Harold has is in reference to certain personality traits.

GREYROMANTIC is in reference to romantic attraction, which is ENTIRELY SEPARATE from sexual attraction. Romantic attraction CAN exist without sexual attraction & for Harold, it’s something that is likely to happen with some people. It’s very important for that distinction to be made ( A couple links I have explain this VERY WELL here & here, if anyone’s interested in Further Reading. I would highly recommend them tbh ). FOR HAROLD, this means that the line between platonic & romantic tends to be INCREDIBLY blurry. Romantic attraction is felt very INFREQUENTLY but at the same time ... it’s difficult to put a clear exclusive Line between platonic & romantic feelings, in some cases. Platonic & romantic feelings are not exclusive from each other & this is why, no matter how much a relationship seems to be leaning toward romantic, Harold often still refers to that person as his friend ( mostly in his head, sometimes out loud if he talks abt them to other people, but it depends ). He sometimes uses VAGUE relationship labels ( such as ‘ partner / partners ’ ) & he often has to remind himself to use the Correct Label, if he knows he SHOULD ( such as words like fiance, wife, husband, ect. ). Romantic IS NOT ‘ more ’ than platonic, romantic IS NOT a level above platonic for him. Just because Harold may be romantically attracted to someone doesn’t always mean that he’ll want to pursue a romantic relationship with them—–NOT to say that means he wouldn’t ever be interested, it’s just like ... he often feels happy with the relationship as it is. Ultimately, it ALL depends on context & not every experience &/ or feelings are or feel the same.

OK, LASTLY, IN REGARDS TO SHIPPING. It’s important to note that, with any romantically inclined relationship, Harold’s feelings for Grace tend to hitch along for the ride. She was his first & he absolutely intended to marry her & share his secrets with her ... but, because he built The Machine & the fact that the people he’d given it to killed his best friend & severely injured / disabled HIM, he allowed her to believe he DIED in the accident. He listened to her & watched her enter the makeshift hospital ( from afar, where she couldn’t see him ), calling his name & shortly after finding the book he’d used to propose to her ( by hiding the ring inside the pages ), breaking down into tears. He did this because it was TOO LATE for him to escape the dangers & consequences of The Machine ... but it wasn’t too late for her ( here’s a clip from the show explaining this, if anyone’s interested in that ). He still takes care of her financially via his MANY business connections, ensuring that she always has work. It’s a process of letting Grace go. In the MAIN verse, a lot of this development occurs with the ship I have with @anurbanlcgend, but in the case of other ships, it will occur in a verse where Harold & John never establish anything. That ALSO means that there will likely be feelings toward John in there too. These two people mean THE WORLD to Harold, so I can’t / wont pretend those feelings don’t exist for another ship & I hope those who’re interested in shipping with me understand that. He ALSO has a very intense & somewhat strict sense of morals & RULES that he holds himself to, so moreso morally ambiguous characters will be a challenge to ship with, but I’d be interested in maneuvering something like that.

If partners are Down with & respect these complications & there’s CHEMISTRY between our muses, I’m 500% Down to ship !! I LOVE shipping honestly & I would ofc love for my birb to get some romantic love. It’s NOT at all the focus on this blog by any means, but I do enjoy it nonetheless. I ALSO don’t at all mind if mutuals come to me & directly express interest in possibly pursuing a ship with me ( even if we haven’t written before ). I will be HONEST with you & if there’s a possibility for it, I’ll be HAPPY to see what happens & discuss with you.

#WATCHING WITH TEN THOUSAND EYES … LISTENING WITH A MILLION EARS. ( meta )#I DID SENSE MY PRIVACY BEING INVADED. ( headcanons )#KNOWING THE ANSWER HAS COST ME SOMETHING I VALUE MORE THAN MY OWN LIFE. ( character study )

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fatherofmachine · 2 years

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Hello friends !! I’ve been meaning to write a post about something so I’m going to write it now before I forget. TREAD CAREFULLY, IF YOU HAVEN’T FINISHED SEASON 2 OF POI, THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS !! A little while ago, I wrote a post about squinting at what we could SEE of Harold’s father’s death certificate to figure out what the LAST name was, but. @anurbanlcgend brought something to my attention & I thought it was AN AMAZING idea / theory ( & SO VERY POI ). The theory is that Harold’s REAL last name is ERNEST. This theory comes from the episode ZERO DAY ( S02E21 ), when it’s revealed that Ernest Thornhill was CREATED BY The Machine, IMMEDIATELY after, the flashback with Nathan & Harold talking about Harold’s plan to propose to Grace as well as them discussing his LAST NAME follows. Nathan says “Do you even remember your REAL NAME ?” As said by Juno: “That’s why I think it because of Finch specifically saying “So technically it’s still DAY ZERO.”Because its cut. so perfectly. Thornhill, whatever. Nice corporation name …. BUT WHERE DID SHE GET ERNEST ? Wouldn’t that be the perfect source ? Her CREATORS SURNAME ? Like, how they frame their scenes, when they cut to the next. The way they bring up Ernest Thornhill & THEN cut to Harold and Nathan talking about his last name.”

SO. As a headcanon not only shared by Juno & I, but @deu5exmach1na as well, this is OFFICIALLY going to be what I headcanon Harold’s “real” last name to be.

#I DID SENSE MY PRIVACY BEING INVADED. ( headcanons )#this tag is ESPECIALLY funny in regards to what this post is about lmfao #WATCHING WITH TEN THOUSAND EYES … LISTENING WITH A MILLION EARS. ( meta )

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fatherofmachine · 2 years

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ADMIN TAGS.

#RUNNING ... ROLEPLAY.EXE. ( in character )#THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS I CAN'T TELL YOU. ( musings )#KNOWING THE ANSWER HAS COST ME SOMETHING I VALUE MORE THAN MY OWN LIFE. ( character study )#I LIKE TO THINK THAT WE'RE REACHING FOR A HIGHER STANDARD. ( aesthetic )#I DID SENSE MY PRIVACY BEING INVADED. ( headcanons )#WATCHING WITH TEN THOUSAND EYES … LISTENING WITH A MILLION EARS. ( meta )#I ALWAYS KNEW THERE WAS SOMEONE BEHIND INGRAM﹐ LIKE A BLACK HOLE. INVISIBLE﹐ BUT POWERFUL. ( visage )#CLASSIC BLACK﹐ SATIN NOTCH LAPEL. BESPOKE OF COURSE. ( wardrobe )#DON'T DENY YOURSELF SMALL PLEASURES. ( desires )#NSFW. ( not safe for work )#REWRITE THE CODE. ( drabbles )#I GO BY MANY NAMES﹐ ALL DERIVED FROM VARIOUS SPECIES OF BIRDS. ( bird tag )#SHH ... IT CAN HEAR YOU. ( music )

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