#Whenever I see writers and artists (like ND Stevenson right now) be successful I'm like... gosh you're living my dream

[kittyprincessofcats]

My boss also can’t make sure I won’t have to do Russian projects, as we apparently don’t have enough clients who actually stopped selling in Russia post-war.

(And the reason translators were allowed to refuse projects for moral reasons is because they’d have to write the texts themselves, but since I’m a project manager and wouldn’t have to write the Russian translations - just make sure they get written - that’s apparently “not the same thing” for some reason.)

I just want a new job at this point.

There’s literally nothing left about this one that’s still fun. Ever since that shitty merger, we’ve had to work with outdated systems that don’t function, then our new corporate overlords fired our old boss who we all liked, then one of my closest colleagues turned out to be a homophobic pro-Putin war-supporter who’s apparently talking shit about me behind my back now because I called her out on her bullshit... and now I “can’t” refuse Russian projects and the works’ council - who was supposed to be in my corner - doesn’t give a fuck.

And now I don’t know what to do. Do I fuck around and find out (a.k.a. just refuse to do it, come what may)? I don’t like this job anymore anyways, do I just risk losing it? (But there is that part of my brain that’s scared of having to look for a new job. What if I don’t find one? What if it takes two years again like last time? What if I run out of money? What if I’ll have to move back in with my toxic, homophobic parents?) And the sensible part of my brain is telling me that my friend is right - that I can help Ukraine better with an income than without one. That me losing my job isn’t going to help any Ukrainian. 

I just don’t know what to do. I think I’ll definitely at least look around for new jobs, maybe write an application here and there... who knows, something might pop up.

#personal #I seriously want to cry #There's also a whole other thing about how I'm lonely and unhappy with my life in general #And how I wish I'd studied creative writing instead of languages #Whenever I see writers and artists (like ND Stevenson right now) be successful I'm like... gosh you're living my dream