#again: prolly just artblock rearing its ugly head

[ethaneldritch]

Starting to think my LoK ideas are veering too far from the source.

I have a tendency for lightheartedness in my storytelling that hasn't been sitting well with me as of late. Maybe I've just had too much Land of the Lustrous influence leak into the mix, but I almost feel guilty for headcanoning as much wholesome stuff as I do.

LoK is a gothic tragedy, steeped in grey morality and predestination with the faintest tinge of hope on the horizon. I feel like my work, both written and visual, can't do that atmosphere justice anymore.

It was funny in the beginning: "Hey look, the big scary vampire is being silly!" But that's become almost all I contribute. I'm straight-up awful at writing angst, and yet I feel like a fraud constantly putting a positive spin on something so dark. It just feels...unrealistic. Unnatural.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I can't seem to remedy my own headcanons with what I think I "should" be headcanoning. There's no right or wrong in fandom, but because LoK's is so close-knit I fear I might "ruin" something if I stray too far from canon.

I see headcanons I disagree with all the time, and yet I somehow can't allow myself the same grace to freely play with ideas. I'm always prefacing my thoughts with phrases like "I imagine" or "I like to think", because I'm constantly wary of writing something "wrong". It's confusing, isolating, and maddening.

#monty musings #here we go again my dudes #at least i made it brief this time 😎 #again: prolly just artblock rearing its ugly head #but i can't shake the feeling that i'm not “doing it right” anymore #like there's this unspoken quota on fun or something